My brightest light Louie,
I may not be the best version of me
However
i am on my way to becoming a better person
you taught me a lot of things
you may never know
your soul imprinted
you are my shadow
My sun, my hope and my light.
you let me be reborn again
finding the right path
you made me learn to feel the word jealous
jealous of everything
nature that sorrounds you
people that made you who you are now
things that made and makes you giggles
The warmth and glow you spread to your sorroundings.
The echoes of your voice that send thousandfold of melody to everyone’s heart.

we drifted so much
i lost the battle
but my connection to your memories
still intact
it seeps to my core

i am winning the rage of seas and darkness
i finally found the contenment of light
it shown me the real figure of hardship
the true meaning of faith and serendipity
The symbol of love that envelopes the human capacity

i have gained true friendship and learnt new hobbies
im continously improving my personality and character
im pursuing the passion of my heart what God has offered me
i learnt to be more mindful and responsible human being
Waiting made me more resilient
Patience brought me a lot of good vibes
God embraced me for who i am
And  recieved comfort and plenty of positive vibrants
until the day im brave enough to stand infront of you
i will be better
i will be full of life
So you will be proud of me
even though i’m nothing to you.

i thought love was undesirable weakness
a cancer that grows inside me.
Made me vulnerable and brought abomination
as darkness and loneliness reeks to my soul
A depriviation of human development
as gravity of negativity pulls me down

But then
I finally understood the meaning of true love
Love filled my life with joy and peace.
Happiness, hope, contentment and serenity
Even though it fail me
Love became my strenght
Because love is what binds people
It builds a character to pursue and become better
To accept what was and what is and what ifs
To fight and battle within yourself
To know and to seek
To gain more clarity when whirlwind strikes
Above all
To recieve abundant, plentiful grace and forgiveness
From the one and only powerful, merciful, kind and loving Almighty God

He is the reason why i am living
He is the core of my existence
He blessed me with all things that sorrounds me
He gives me hope
He provides me food and shelter
He lead me to where i should be
He let me feel all the emotions that i must need
He is generous for allowing me to learn what was/is right and wrong
He forgave me and will always forgive.
He healed me and will continue to heal my soul.
My human being
He taught me a lot of things in this world
And for that i am lucky
That he let me experienced all the troubles and beauty from the past.
I may not know what the future and his plan for me
i am happy that he led me to you
To know you
To need you
To love you
To experience your warmth
Thats why thank you Louie for the love, hope, my light, my sun, guidance, patience and care you had brought to me
Coz if not
And it never happened
until now for sure
I will still be looking for your version
My dearest louie that brought so much ripples in my life.
I am forever grateful to you and to God.
These are all perfectly reasons why i love you to the fullest.
Thank you for being a blessing to me.
I pray to God to protect your world and guide you through tough times.
To bless and empowered you.
To let you know that you are enough to him because you are more than special to him.
To contionously shower you with grace, protection and so much love.

Grateful with so much love,  
Tres20

Numbness all over me,
Awashing me away from sanity,
Great foams splashing, thrashing,
tossing, turning
Drowning me, burying me to death.

Losing myself in this swirling limbo,
Feeling the breath of fire in the inferno,
Numbness, numbness all over me,
Darkness, madness sorrounds me.

The light is fading, Oh I see,
At the end of the tunnel, don't go away,
My steps are weary, I take one, two, three
Blindness and fatigue prevented me.

Nothing, I can see nothing,
Darkness, bleakness in everything,
Groping, looking for something,
A hand, a strong hand now moving.

Heart aching,
Blood leaking
The sad music playing in it,so loud
But still,am strong
And for this,am so proud
It feels like the world is against me
The things I love make no sense
Melancholy sorrounds my presence
Heavy heart,fatigued mind
To the little pleasures of life,am blind
The bad memories I can't live behind
They dominate my troubled mind
Nothing excites me,life seems so plain
All because this pain keeps flooding in
Like rainwater downhills,
It pours
One depressing thought flashes and it lingers around for hours

(28/01/2022)