Quick Quick Quick Quick
So is an Earth Quake,
With all her moves and shakes
She shooked us in flakes!

You would actually be mad at me when I stare at you, and then I'd get my reward; that cute smile you make ((and I can only get it after you noticed that I've been staring at you))
2. You care for me, so much, that even when we're walking together, you made sure I won't accidentally hurt myself ((I noticed that you keep glancing over at me))
3. You always look for me to destress, just by squishing my arms or a hug; both will do it for you.
4. You listen to me very well; when I'm crazy mad or crazy happy or crazy sad
5. You have the ability to make my heart flutter, even with the simplest thing, for example that little peck on my forehead every now and then
6. You looked at me like I am the best thing in your life, with a smile that's never leaving your face and shining eyes
7. You noticed things that I didn't expect you to notice, like the time you wrote me a letter because I wrote letters to my ex-roommates, and you know that I only give things I'd like to receive
8. You have this hot dad *** that I likeeee, like very much. So comfortable.
9. I like it when you laugh so hard. It's not like you are out of breath or anything, but it sounds so sincere, melting my ice cold heart.
10. You are the cutest awkward guy I have ever seen.
11. You love me so easily, as if sliding down glacier or driving at a highway. Effortlessly.
12. You can love me ever so effortlessly but yet I can see you working hard to keep me happy, at all times. I see your effort trying to learn my cultural background, all the jokes you did trying to make me laugh, the food you make me eat because I haven't eaten one whole day or just whatever you could do just to make me a happy girl.
13. I like how you always try to improve when there is something I don’t like you doing. And all that effort, just to make me happy.
14. I like it when you call me beautiful that one time, like all of a sudden, I am shooked to my coreeeee
15. You cute. I love you. With all of my heart.

Yesterday morning
I envied your ambition into your studies and that you finished school with such good results.
I respected you for the kindness you showed to each and everyone and
I admired the massive amount of compassion residing inside you.
I smiled at your youthful craziness with which you lightened my life.
I protected you as much as I could, even if I looked like a desperate idiot.
... yesterday morning I loved you.

Yesterday evening
I labeled your words as lies and marked the actions that identified them.
I shooked my head in disbelief over your efforts to get rid of your kind and passionate self, thus
I smirked diabolically, knowing that you will never find peaceful happiness by his side.
I rendered myself in agony over the things you had done without even caring a bit about me and
I looked with disgust at the face of yours, wishing I could fill it with pain and sorrow.
... yesterday evening I hated you.

Today
I woke up with an aching head, having drunk too much at the party the night before.
I remarked the ray of sunlight dancing on the new pictures I put on my wall the week before.
I checked my account showing the last payment after I got fired at work the month before.
I repeated the moves which we learned in self defense courses I started three months before.
I looked in the mirror staring at the man you ditched six months before.
... today everything was without you.

*But why is it then, that I still can't forget you?

Too basic, to hard to face it, looking in these books and all these words have me shooked.
I'm feelin hated, not acknowledged, not appropriated.
God you say gunna help me, but bhudda tellin me I need to help myself.
All these idols, all these faces, all these words, but I remain seeing the same places,
these same places have me torn apart and put back again and again, I need a judge I need a jurry, I really just need a friend.
someone to grab by neck slap me into conscientiousness.
someone who be my shadow but still be real and not pretend
I'm not weak I'm not unworthy!
I'm in a tug but this war is over a pit that I just keep out crawling.
I'm clawing I'm pulling. And being pulled.
I'm pissd off ,  I'm drenched in blood sweat and tears the only gasp of air is of fears and uncertainty.
Am I just lost or put to find a new way,
a way to pave, away from graves and slaves,
all the rules but freedom I seek so I'm breaking bad? Am I now doing what I must, that I feel just.
all these sins, and mines are just as equal??
noo! So why count me for damnation if we all different ******* people,
measure us by our intentions,
measure us by what real.
humanity isn't me. I'm solo.
I choose this unmarked way because there noo tellin me noo.
Soo there's noo mallet to judge.
I'm a distant person in all areas.
religion just happens to be the person who follows me, nerd..

4th month

April 2013:

The month of my birthday came around
and i was looking forward to the day i turned a year older
My good friend started dating this one girl
and thats all he talked about,drove me insane
but he was happy and i was happy for him
I wrote a lot of poetry
of my confused state that month.
and continues making music with my friends
Warm weather was pearing over the hills.

The day of my birthday came,
my buddy came over and we walked around the mall
with a small keyboard we bought at a second hand store

He talked about his girl
and i shooked my head
and smiled.

Once the window open up it's a different kind of breeze
And ****** put in extra work if they live on there knees
No subtitles but my idols have the safe for the work
And If they were force I made sure I enjoyed the perks

But I chose wisely in all my different cases
So I Shine bright no diamonds just the apollo laces
No church for the wild but just different kind of mockery
So let me put it down be for they start mocking me

Kings to the mild but what does the gold represents
The Depression and aggression and horrible contents
But that just history they don't want y'all to know the events
Because if y'all knew the truth y'all would fall and repent

Snakes in the grass but they come in different colors
So don't fall for the winter cold and false umbrellas
I subscribe you to sleep it off with brand new intentions
Because if we fall down they will still erase what was mention

Official with the hooks but I change for the books
And If I get any  points then I might look shooked
So ima have to storage my monogamy's in my apologies
Cuz ima **** myself if I start to believe in my Sorrys

But my description is chopped down to one piece
But if I mix it all then y'all all will destroy my peace
The vision is blurred but followers don't be scared
Cuz if I disappear it's to only to be reappear


Uh
No god to this
Uh
No honor to this
Uh
No honestly to miss
Uh
No lies to kiss


So the pro tools is open to the old school
And Exit them out because they're the ones who made the rules
Perfection is the correction if there's no path to follow
So I guess my wisdom will be my words and y'all new mottos

I want what I fear
Intimacy and cheer
even with those I'm near
my outside is not clear
I won't let them hear
my emotions, my tears
I glance and I leer
I want what I fear
drugs and beer
off road, won't steer
judgement of a peer
promises my dear
yeah I want what I fear
but my actions don't mirror
I'm mixed into this sphere
I wanna cut and sear
but everybody here I love
above all else so I promised not to hurt myself
When I stopped being so selfish at age 12
that promise I keep and hold deep
my loyalty to everybody
All of these things are mixed in my sea
I'll stray to only the good hopefully
cuz if I want one then I shan't do the others son
who loves without pain to someone who cuts
who can get into drugs with a smile
who can express themselves without judgment hitting tile
place these thoughts to a pile
and pick em out every once in awhile
appreciate life and my lifestyle
cuz there's nothing better than having somebody to dial
and people your willing to die over
I imagine kids, a man, I cooking on the stove and stir
now my neighbors aint abusers but who's here?
my fam and man look weird
shaded, crooked, faded, shooked man and I realize where my head gon and steered
into the future but I falsely peered
I teared while thinking realistically but **** it that's what I really want
tempts aint nothing but a taunt
if I give in then it'll haunt me and put a tint on my people's hearts
so back to the start,
I fear this but I'm young and apart with everything I want this part
without anymore **** to darken my future this fear is what I want and that's real art.

Said, i never was gonna fall in love.
Than suddenly , you came along.
Said, i never was gonna cave into you.
But there was just sudden special about you.

I fell quick.
I fell fast.
It was a moment I couldn't let pass.

I was caught.
I was lost.
It was a moment special to both of us.

Said, no one would ever capture my heart.
Than stood before me was this wonderful angel.

I was hooked.
I was shooked.
It was love that took control of both of us.

I hate you
Wish I can school you
Give you a little bit of bruises
Send you down the street cruising
Make you wear them like you lost a battle
I'll make the bones from the head to your toes rattle
'Til you beg and ask for mercy
I don't give a **** Mr. Darcy
I'll do to you what you did to me
So you can see
What it's like you have your brain and sanity all ******* up
Oh look honey you're all shooked up
Think you better get a checkup
While you're at it drink some tea from your death cup
It's time for you to go
Now enjoy the ******* show

Men, don't get hook upon the lady "P" where you begin to act foolishly?
As good as it is to you eventually you let it control the most vital aspects of you?

Ladies,  don't get hooked upon that man "Money" cause soon you find it is your avenue to trouble.

*** and finance is an attribute that many let take them in a different path.
Do the math?

How many times have both created strives in various people life?

We all know a few?
Who quickly live in denial when you point this out?

The love of money is said to be the root of all evil.
But the ****** attraction seems to be following after it.

Don't get hooked?
Soon you are shocked and shooked?
All that person needs is plant the hook.

A peaceful evening
up on the roof tops
Looking at the beauty of the full moon and stars
while the cool breeze gently sweep away our fear of the dark
and then she asked
"What do you really want?,
What do you care about?
My body?"
I was perplexed
weakened to the bones and marrow
never thought I'd hear such direct question in my life.
and then I replied,
"Your soul, I want just your soul"
That's the dumbest answer in the whole universe, I said within myself
and she asked again, with a smile this time
"My soul? that's new.. For what?"
"I want to mix yours with mine" I replied
"and then what?" she asked again,
shifting her focus from the beauty of the heavens into my eyes
then, I took a little air inside of me, to sweep away the fear looming within.
and I replied;
"I want to mix your soul with mine and create something unbreakable, something unique, something eternal and everlasting, even death would struggle to come in between"
She smiled, looking back up to the skies,
as if her next question is written up there.
and she said
"That's nice, but what if it doesn't go as you've planned?"
another terrible question,
it shooked my whole being,
my fear became anger, and my voice became louder.
"Then, I would keep trying! giving it my best each day, everyday! just to get it perfectly right" I said...
A promise had been made in sincerity
and the moon and stars were witnesses
we both knew it,
holding onto each other and looking at the full moon like it was our priest.

One man.
Made clown out of one race.
Then it's easy.

One man.
Made the political establishment bend to his will.
Crying about how they trying to steal an election that he rightfully lost.

One man.
Highlighted the race that is the symbol of hate.
Again, I say what message they teaching in that oddity church.

One man.
Whose reputation is tracked by deceit and crookedness?

Then Adolph ****** had this kind of attraction.
But not a strength of it in America like this one man.

One man.
Who could care less about his supporters?
Like they say see a fool use a fool.
And this what this one man did to the best of his ability.

One man.
Who made the history books?
But his image has been shooked.

You have potential! They said
I smiled and shooked my head
For I forgot who I am or rather was
After they told me, I was in a rush

You can reach the sky! They exclaimed
I smiled and yet again
Thought of those dreams, that they said were petty
And forced me into reality

You can be limitless! They tried once again
I smiled for the last time ,
Remembering the times, when I was really one
But alas! I locked myself and didn't try  ever again.