A MAN CALLED SHAUN                                
Each morning at six thirty
Arrived a man in white
Pushed his cart, through the door
And then, turned on the light

We could hear him coming
Right from the very start
Because, we heard the jingling
From the tubes, stacked in his cart

Each morning that whole week
He’d rouse us from our sleep
So I planned revenge
On that little creep

I said to roommate Warner
Don’t say a single word
Today’s the day that payback
At last will be incurred

“Good morning Ja” he whispers
“Are you by chance awake”
I pretend I’m fast asleep
Not a single move, I make

“Can I take some blood”
He sounds a bit disturbed
So I just lay there quietly
I’m not the one perturbed

He says “O.K.”
“I’ll do Mr. Warner first”
I’m thinking to myself “That’s great”
“Go ahead and do your worst”

I lay in wait
Till he returned
I hadn’t moved
I hadn’t turned

As he came close
I snored a bit
I knew that he
Was in a snit

“It’s me Shaun again”
“Are you awake”
I thought “Of course I’m not”
“Give me a break”

“Give me your arm”
“This won’t take long”
I thought, “O.K.”
I’ll play along

I extend my arm
He grabs my hand
And on my bicep
Ties a band

“Just a little pinch”
“And then, we’re done”
That’s exactly when
I planned my fun

As the needle pierces me
I scream like *******
He’s taken by surprise
He starts to scream as well

He drops the tubes
And his tray
I’m laughing hard
What can I say

“I’m sorry Ja”
“What did I do”
“To cause this pain”
“Did I hurt you”

I laugh so hard
My stomach hurts
Into our room
The head nurse bursts

“What’s going on”
“Is someone hurt”
“Shaun stuck my arm”
I laugh and blurt

“Now look, old man”
“It’s not allowed”
“To on this ward”
“Be so loud”

“Another outburst”
“Of this sort”
“And I will put you”
“On report”

I’m laughing still
And Warner too
Warner can’t stop
He’s turning blue

The nurse gets mad
“This day you’ll rue”
“It’s the ****** ward”
“For the both of you”

Poor Shaun is lost
Still holds my hand
Proceeds to take
That rubber band

Puts all his things
In his tray
Takes his cart
And walks away

Said not a word
And to his bane
We never did
See Shaun again
BOEMS BY JA 287        
True story. Sadly, my roommate Warren didn’t make it. Written in hospital 2014.

The Raiders show raiders v st george at GIO Stadium

    with johnny brown and Sue Longways




johnny’   welcome dudes to GIO stadium to this match between the dragons and the raiders and this is going to be a

great match, the raiders are 11th and the dragons are at 14, and whoever wins, I can guarantee it will be a spectacle

and i have Pete from Hawker with us now with a poem for us, hoping to get the Raiders into top swing

Pete”    ok dudes let’s swing it

you see the bad and mean green machine, big and strong and fast and mean

you see you shouldn’t try and stop these men in green, cause we are 3 positions higher than the opposition

Johnny’  well, short but sweet, and have you been worried about form in some matches

Pete’   well, yes, but that makes no difference, the raiders are going to win dudes, i will sing it again

you see we are the bad and mean green machine, big and strong and fast and mean

you see you shouldn’t try and stop these men in green, cause we are 3 positions higher than the opposition

Johnny’   well thanks Pete and now here is Sue Longways with another fine poem from the crowd

Sue’   thanks Johnny and what a great atmosphere here at GIO Stadium today, a great twilight match, and everyone

is in fine voice to cheer the raiders to beat the dragons tonight, and here is John Barten from Queanbeyan and he hates

how the Raiders went to Canberra all those years ago, so he sings a dragons tune

John’   go the dragons go the dragons

go the mighty dragons team

you see it’s only early in the season

go the mighty dragons cause the raiders moved here

I know we shouldn’t hold a grudge, mate, but i am and there is nothing you can do oh no

go the mighty dragons and i will go for them till the Raiders go back to Seiffert Oval, dudes

Sue”   thanks John and now here is Harold from Lyneham

Harold’   i am the bad and mean raiders fan

we supply the best coming out of the can

you see i go to the footy with mates george and dan

you see we’ll hit ya hit ya hit ya the mighty green machine

Sue’  thanks Harold and now here is the Raiders team, bring on the team

Jordan Rapana and Sisa Waqa and Jarrod Croker and Jarrad kennedy and edrick lee and blake austin and Mitchell Cornish


and Shannon Boyd and Josh Hodgson and Dane Tilse and Josh Papali and Sia Solicia and Shaun Fensom

and the 4 interchange players  Josh McRone and Frank-Paul Nuuausala and Paul Vaughan and Luke Bateman

and now here is Ken from Symonston with his poem

Ken”   i have been coming out to the GIO stadium every time we play

you see it’s fun when we win, but when we lose, we certainly do ****** pay

and the main thing about it is, we beat the easy teams and beat the hard teams but never at the best time

come on Raiders, it’s surely the time to win, oh ****** yeah


sue”   thanks Ken and now here is Rob with his jingle

Rob”     Run Raiders run

as we charge onto the GIO stadium yeah

run raiders run you see we have the team, we’ll win oh yeah

yeah we will come a running, and score a hundred tries

yeah that will be so cool,

run raiders run, oh yeah the Raiders are the team to beat i hope

run raiders run

they are the team that will thrash the opposition yeah

you see we won one and lost one

run raiders run

yeah the mighty raiders, will be our son of a gun

Sue”    thanks Rob for that and now here is the dragons team


first is Peter Mata’utia and Etonia Nabuli and Dan Nielson and Dylan Farrell and Jason Nightingale

and gareth Widdop and Benji Marshall and Leeson Ah Mau and Mitch Rein and George Rose

and Tyson Frizell and Joel Thompson and Jack de Belin

and the interchange men are trent Merrin and Heath L”Estrange and Rory O’Brien and Mike Cooper and Jake Marketo

and here is Mike from Jerrabomberra with his jingle

oh yeah those dragons yeah, they win more than the raiders yeah

they supply all the tries, in fact more tries than the locals, why don’t they win the grand

well i think i know, it’s because we lose our playing ability after thrashing the raiders here and anywhere

so go the dragons, go the mighty dragons, the right team to win the match

sue’   ok thanks Mike and now here is Keith from Latham with his song

carn the carn the carn the mighty raiders team, please dudes don’t make us say **** mate

make our raiders team win, carn the raiders carn the raiders, watch our team win well

on our home ground see, go the mighty raiders for a great victory

ya see i live in Latham and in my lounge room i have raiders cushions and raiders tables and heaps

of videos too including the great grand final victories in ’89 and “91 and the great ‘94

they haven’t won a grand final since in the first grade oh no

but if they win a few games where they don’t drop the ball too much

they will play so ****** hard, GO THE RAIDERS, DUDES

Sue’   ok that is it for me, and now back to Johnny

Johnny”  thanks Sue for telling us the teams and letting us hear some great home truths, let’s hope the

Raiders can win tonight, and now here is ?Bob from Cook with a jingle

Bob’   go the raiders go the raiders, do ya reckon we have the stamminer to win today

go the raiders go the raiders, should we win, should we win

twinkle twinkle raiders pack, how i wonder whether you’ll win

up above the GIO park tonight, make sure we clean this game free of fights

twinkle twinkle raiders pack, go the raiders through and through

Johnny’ thanks Bob and now here is Ernie from Higgins with his rhyme

hey ****** ****** the dragons are ready, are they going to win

all have the raiders put all their dropping the ball crap in the flaming bin

Shaun Fensom laughed at this little rhyme, as hopefully the raiders grab the 2 points

Johnny’  thanks Ernie and first my tip, well to the ladder, i say Raiders, on current form, well raiders be 6, could be more

and who do you support Sue

Sue’    well to the ladder, the Raiders, but on current form, dragons by 2, but i could change

Johnny”   ok, we’ll be back at half time, ok, here on the Raiders show

GO THE CANBERRA RAIDERS

war took mine, i was sold  playing tenchu
on level 6... just before i was to
assassinate this ***, and he practised all
his bow skill in private, then it was made public
by a ninja... i only completed final
fantasy 7 with a walk-through...
i hate the fact that i stuck to
the schooling narrative...
  but hose were the PS1 days,
those days are gone, gone gone gone,
bye bye gone...
                 the **** was that?!
an oscar for best actor at the gladiator premier?!
why isn't more gaming mentioned in poetry?
where is raziel, and the the legacy of cain:
soul reaver, and the story about how he
squashed his brothers:
dumah, melchiah, rahab, and zephon?
oh look: the geek in me!
                 100 years from a youtube video...
i'm bound to do the bristol d'uh and say:
i've never been to south america...
nor ever...
                        me go sort out this avalanche
if that's o.k. with you, hmm?
this is the thrill you get when seeing peoiple
play a reincarnation of gameboy,
i.e. candy-crush saga... if you moved beyond
the PS1 universe you won't get it...
if you remember PS1 games, you'll probably
remember SEGA and sonic,
and age of empires 2, and sim city 3000...
**** me! but you won't probably remember the
weathergirl... who was becky mantin
when this was written...
           odd, that little gray box of saturdays
and sometimes sundays, but definitely
saturday mornings...
                    it gone... and i don't feel like owning
an update of it, because games have become
overtly narrative prone, they only allow thise gameplay
that's too narrated... i switch on the console
and i want mario bros. calculator type of dynamism...
instead i get this really complex story
when i should be reading a book...
   no, really, when did gaming become so
****** engrossing that i try to become distracted by
brick walls?
           when did i or when didn't i take to playing
chess? well... when i started playing dominos
with 6 cigarette stumps and a black hardcover
philosophy book... maybe around then.
books i great, believe me...
but this nook of counter-arcade games?
i woke up at 9am as if about to go to school
and played that japanese fetish for hours...
so much if our culture in nearing the post-20th
century culture was axis... it was almost all japanese...
you can't take that fact out and replace it
concerning: god intervened at Giza and yawned
at chichén itzá...
because you would... still, i thankfully retired
from the gaming experience (when did PS2 come out?
i wanted it for about 2 years and still didn't
get it)...
    1998? 1997?
                      thankfully i get to mention computer
games like novels... SEGA mega drive?
yep, owned that.
                   and yes, i can cite an ATARI,
and ****, **** **** me!
   that original NINTENDO?!
              and that shooting mallard simulation
against a screen of televisions that could
still issue you with van der graaf static
   of "levitating" hair?
(when televisions were still 3D and played
you remnants of the big bang
       in televised black and white khrrr sound,
all dicta fidgety, like looking through the eyes
of a bluebottle fly)... or
    the original prince of persia?
     those two dimensional ferns rotating round and
round when approached in the original tomb raider?
oh forget the cone-****-madonna...
shaid the ish cream van man to shaun shoonery...
cheap ****: said the dead with charlie
at the head of their horde of entertainment's flops.
i retired from the gaming world though,
left it when PS1 expired...
and morphed into PS2...
           i'm half sad and half saying: i can understand
candy crush, because i can understand
the origin: TETRIS.
like i can understand why i can't do crosswords,
my father just said: even i can't do them,
the clues are all a bit of a wanking to comprehend...
it's as if they only based them on the thesaurus...
   we're good on sudoku though, that can be solved
without problems...
        i miss those games though,
i finished final fantasy 7 with a walkthrough
though... tenchu was also fun to complete,
crash bandicoot? anyone remember him?
           now for not faking it...
                                     i'm glad that's over,
i'd hate the gaming experience as i hate interactive
t.v. thesedays... all this pause and rewind?
  thanks to it i sometimes press the STOP
button when listening to the radio and wonder
why it just keeps running... oh right: this isn't
a c.d. transmission... funny though, the gaming experience
translated into t.v. really has made advertising
ultra competative or utterly useless....
   you just end up pausing before a break, and then
scrolling past the advertisers' airtime...
next thing i'll be buying is when they make
an advert for shoepaste.

I buried a diamond today
But first I marveled at its beauty
It shone so bright
And left a light I could not deny

I made a path today
Containing trial and error
It led my way
And let me free so I could wander

I picked a rose today
And it reminded me of him
Its petals so red
And I began to weep

I buried a friend today
His laughter well-missed
His body lay, so pale and gray
Missing the blush in his cheeks

I sat and wrote today
Putting down line after line
But the pain only fades
A little at a time

.there's redemption at the end of this diatribe, or so i think there is, well... whatever hector dejean could have ever done... of all the places in europe... i kinda wish i visited berlin... e.g. paris, mid 00s? the best place in the world... stockholm mid 00s? ******* closed it off, cold as a butcher's knife cutting into meat to the bone... and i know the saying: he only saw a bit of the world, only because of her... who, who's her? solo... how i pulled it off, i still don't know, how i became introverted because of the writing? that i know, i decided upon a career (insert snigger, and no " ") in drinking.

discovering a channel like
contrapoints and
shaun (salad fingers)
                        in a single day?

               sorry... no...

   the day a ****** starts to maul
its way into my head...
one ****** i can take:
two trannies?
              no... sorry...
i'm arachnophobic already...
what's another phobia
                      to do with it?

shaun: much appreciated
pedantry...
           to too came with
my own set of toys

  what's isn't chemistry
   is also not čeating...
all the major nuances
     of the english language...

but this overt-obsession
of the other with regards
to being either gratified,
or not...

      you should ask me...
'why is it that you don't
experience erectile dysfunction
when going to a brothel?'

   why a sudden concern,
interest,
              as to what men
              do, or don't do?

pet a cat,
put on a washing machine,
hang the washing
and shy away from the day
with three ciders...
   stare at a blank screen
with a blank face
and a morbid itch of anticipating
some sort of spew
from, yours truly?

   suddenly everyone is
"worried" about the leftovers?
albeit this "abortion"
   can talk back...
     or... "think" back...
because every time
i'd ******* i'd count it
          as an act of genocide...

        "loneliness":
   because i found an outlet that
bypasses...
          the editorial process
                 and is... unihibited?    
   ****, there are two of me
when there are three ciders
                                            in me...

      you know...
   i've never come across potent
left ideology,
                        until now...
****... maybe i'm also a leftist,
or: what does all of this even
                                 mean?

personally...
                        it's not saying i'm
not unconvinced,
       or i'm hallucinating
or anything...
         maybe these so-called
incels would not get
such bad press,
    if... there wasn't a problem
with ******* priests?
  and... the name
   suburban cenobite was
introduced?

  when one mental "disorder"
is... Norman...
          and all others
are...
                       Tabloid Taboo...

seriously, Matt, get your *******
head around this...
    'i'm trying, i'm trying...
but this **** is not lily *******
savage...
         translate
                   counterpoints
from behind
                 a camera lens...
to stage...
                       who's laughing?

the queer that was,
when it first started to tease
the public's taboo
                    orientation...
the current public's taboo
orientation of certain
                  negations of ease?

different ball-game...
            maybe that's why i sometimes
frequented brothels...
   best shrinks in the whole
******* world...
         but of course,
"*** slaves"...
                        oh that one time,
when i forgot to trim
my ***** hair and thought:
that would be impolite...
              so we just smooched
for an hour...
   do you even know that
they charge an excess on
the hour if you want to perform
oral on them?

       i just think of eating
raw oysters...
          
     but ***...
                do i really have to think
about it so much,
on such political terms?
     this is it... no ******* bucket
and ***** for me...
     the continual cycle of:
not-keeping-your-own-affairs-intact...

are days always like this?
by this i mean...
penetrating - my ego just turned
into a ******
  and became ****** by
        a ******-tongue / voxdo...

or maybe i'm personifying
   an atypical reaction from the actual
echelon of addressee...

               but this isn't a blaire white
hmm...
             buffalo bill -esque...
who said anything about...
   ****** bones?
    hands don't, lie...
              em, yeah...
    ***** envy...
             with a hand that can
hold a basketball?
            do all you want...
but once the hands come into play...

and then... the video of
counter point nears its end...
and i'm...
   like...
                      o.k. this could
work... consolidation...
a truce...
                  you be she
                      whatever you like,
   i'll be a suburban cenobite...
unofficial...
        but at least i will not
be some paedohpile priest...

       i needed this...
   there's still one cider left,
i hang the washing...
which included my mother's
underwear
   and i feel... insanely normie...
having just realised:

    i usually normal with this
sort of content...
       why now?
   oh... right...
   reading the sunday times'
magazines...
       and imploding from
all the disconnect from
                mainstream media...

   yet i will persist...
      what is an irrational fear
when the thing itself, in question,
is also irrational?
my arachnophobia
     is irrational...
            is the spider even
given a status of either
rationality, or irrationality?
         i'm definitely being
irrational...
   but the spider is neither
rational, or irrational...
     it's a spider...
  it doesn't have the luxury
to be irrational,
   other than it is a rational
                extension of per se...
sure, god, evolution,
                             whatever...

for so long i craved to write
something so alienating
that it makes me feel
uncomfortable...

        ah... the subject matter...
that was it...
       the death spiral,
the dodo project...
           first time... Isabella...
psychology exchange student
two years my scenior...
Grenoble...
   no...
   she really was a dream...
then there was that time
with my ex-girlfriend
from high school...
    a whole afternoon
and her *******...
later something else,
and then later something else...
months apart...
then the ukrainian *******...
then the russian bombshell...
the puerto rican
          plum in amsterdam...
a black girl
with an ***
     just about right
for my lack of ***** envy
or whatever it's called
when a black girl's ***
requires the desired tool
(i hear they're releasing
a new album, can't wait)...
then a few bulgarian prostitutes...
then a thai bisexual
(yeah, to my shock...
she was wearing a sports bra
and there was no thai
surprise in the end,
but the suspense was
killing me
   just before we did it
                       in the garden)...

details, details:
   i'm not going to suddenly
write out a hard-on...
   ****... i was starting to feed
into the paranoia of identifying
myself as an incel...

cool cool, "are traps gay"...
we're back in lily savage territory...
ha ha, always the subject matter...
     i hate that...
freaking out about something
you're not...

          it just had to come
at the right time,
   downing this third cider...
and yeah: it's sunny...
   i can't wait for the night
and the foxes...
it's mating season,
so they'll be at it
             more prominently...

          ah... the trans-movement...
the benzene ring...
and Plato's concept
   of punishment
     of men being reincarnated
as women...
or.... in this instance...
  women being incarnate
in male bodies...
            it's like: hell decided
to blah-blah its way into life...
          fun times...
            sure, and a bunch slurrs
and slurps of milkshake
from the great *** of kamadhenu...

i'm no better,
   look at me,
               drinking,
                 brothels...
                   among
the mad, the ******
                       and...
                  safe to say:
            liberated from
the pogrom of establishing
              myself as a father figure.

Thank you Shaun,
for the pictures and flowers.
Thank you Lily,
for the ray of sunlight.
Thank you Bry,
for psychopathic measure.
Thank you D,
for the feeling of good pleasure.
Thank you Tay,
for tea and bears.
Thank you Meg,
for Sherlock and apples.
Thank you Zee,
for robots and twins.
Thank you Carrie,
for fangirling and friendship.
Thank you Liam,
for support and superheroes.
Thank you Paul,
for understanding and ingenious.
Thank you Ceryen,
for fake names and shared tears.
Thank you Chiara,
for Italian cheese and fanfics.
Thank you Rod,
for fish and evil.
Thank you Lia,
for kitties and souls.
Thank you Stephen,
for gravestones and vegetables.
Thank you Christine,
for mercurial and poetical love.
Thank you Caitlin,
for product design and Poundland.
Thank you Jordan,
for weddings and Brenda.
Thank you Conaill,
for DT and Courbet.
Thank you Brendan,
for axes and aunts.
Thank you Tom,
for form time and Brittany.
Thank you George,
for philosophies and pigeons.
Thank you Morgan,
for video games and hearing.
Thank you Alice,
for Pokemon and tumblr.
Thank you Aliyah,
for hearing aids and help.
Thank you all,
for reading and listening.
Thank you, me,
for absolutely nothing.

How could we ever?
There’s too much light,
It’s way too bright.
Wait, I know…
We could go at night.

It's dark,
Shaun Morgan is bellowing into my ears that he's reliving the same experiences over and over,
That nothing's forever.

The flick of a bic,
The taste of tobacco and ash,
Filling my lungs and giving my brain a buzz,
And in this sleepless night I'm inclined to agree with him,
Nothing lasts forever,
So what are you waiting for?

I wonder what either shall think if they see this page?



(sonnet #MMMMMCMLXXXIV)


How fuschia peers as from a slit cut thence
Twixt purplish navy racks low on the pale
West houses cluster 'fore in gloaming's frail
Eye, and down in the valley silence'd fence
Lo, neighbors' dogs set up a racket whence
I unpeg laundry that ne winds exhale
Through save by whispers, hoping yet for bail
When I can see Shaun, like tis not pretense.
One headline touted findings of why you're
Too fond of being online.  Well, I'll tell you:
Cuz breathing is more stale than we'll endure.
And wherefore is't that waking to Will's cue
Began this fine divorce from that?  In poor
Scuse I liked Shaun ere and what shall I do?

21Oct16e

THE LAST 6 HOURS OF THE YEAR, WE WILL PARTY DOWN, MAN



HI DUDEY WOODEYS, THIS IS GOING TO BE RADICALLY AWESOME, CAUSE

WE ARE ABOUT TO ENTER THE LAST 6 HOURS OF THIS FANTASTIC YEAR

AT 6 PM, OUR FRIENDS WERE STARTING TO COME FOR THE BIG SMASH SLAP TOGETHER

NEW YEARS EVE BBQ, YEAH, YOU SEE WE HAD COCA COLA, AND VB TOO

YES, A FEW MEN DRANK CARLTON DRAUGHT, SINGING DRINKING GAMES

AND OTHER GREAT SONGS, AS DAD COOKED SNAGS ON THE PLATE

YEAH THIS PARTY IS REALLY ROCKING DUDES, YEAH WE LOOK SET TO PARTY TILL LATE

AT 7 PM, WE HAVE FINISHED WITH THE MEAL AND THE KIDS NICKED OFF TO THE FRONT YARD

THEY PLAYED FRONT YARD CRICKET, AND IF THE BALL WAS HIT ON THE ROAD ON THE FULL

WE’LL MAKE IT STRIKE SIX AND OUT, THEN THE ADULTS CAME AROUND TO JOIN THE KIDS

BUT HATED THE RESULT, CAUSE THE KIDS WHIPPED THEIR **** AND THIS CRICKET MATCH

YEAH THE KIDS ARE THE WINNERS, SO THEY BROUGHT THE PUNCHBOWL TO USE AS THE WORLD SERIES CUP

AT 8 PM, THE NIGHT WAS FAST APPROACHING AND THE MOZZIES WERE EATING AT THE LADIES LEGS

THE MEN HAD THE RIGHT IDEA, SITTING BY THE COMPUTER WATCHING TOPSY THE CLOWN ON YOUTUBE INSTEAD

YEAH THEY ALL WERE SIPPING THEIR DRINKIEPOOS, YEAH THEY WERE NICE, OH YEAH

A GREAT NIGHT FOR QUALITY ENTERTAUNMENT, OOH OOH YEAH

AT 9PM, THE WHOLE GANG WERE GATHERING AROUND THE TELEVISION WATCHING THE FIREWORKS

AND ALL THE KIDS WERE HAPPY, SO WERE THE ADULTS, YEAH EVERYONE WAS HAVING SO MUCH FUN, OH YEAH

AND AUNTY JOE, DROPPED FRUIT PUNCH ALL OVER THE LOUNGE

AT 10PM, EVERYONE WATCHED SHAUN MCALLEF ON TV, HE MIGHT BE STUPID, HE MIGHT BE A FOOL, BUT

SURE MATE, YEAH, HE BROKE EVERY GOLDEN RULE ABOURT PARTYING, AND THAT WAS RESPECTING EVERY PARTY GOER

WHETHER YOU WANT TO OR NOT, SO WE TURNED OFF THAT CRAP AND DECIDED TO TALK OURSELVES

THAT WAS BETTER, OUR STORIES ARE BETTER THAN WHAT SHAUN WOULD EVER TELL

AT 11PM, THE KIDS WERE GETTING TIRED, CAUSE THEY RAN OUT OF BREATH, US ADULTS ARE LUCKY WE HAVE A MARGARITA TO SHARE

IT KEEPS US AWAKE, IT MAKES US FEEL GREAT, THEN MOTHER CAME AND BROUGHT OUT LAST HOUR OF YEAR NIBBLES

SO WE CAN SIT THERE AND ENJOY EATING RIGHT FOR THIS LAST HOUR

AT 11.55 PM WE TURNED ON THE BOX, AND WE ALL SANG SONGS OH YEAH, JOHN SANG FLY BURGERS, GEORGE SANG BREAK AWAY

PETE SANG HANNAH MONTANA’S NOBODY’S PERFECT, THE LOUNGE ROOM FELT LIKE SATURDAY NIGHT IN A NIGHT CLUB

AND IT FELT THAT RIGHT TILL THE 10   9   8   7   6   5   4   3   2    1 AND THEN WE POPPED OUR PARTY POPPERS AND

AT 12 MIDNIGHT, WE ALL SCREAMED OUT A GIANT HAPPY NEW YEAR

WITH ALL THE ADULTS AND KIDS AS WELL ARE GATHERING AT THIS HOUSE

AS WE PARTY THE YEAR OF 2014 AND WELCOME 2015 IN WITH A SMILE

YOU SEE OLD MEN SIP THEIR BEER SAYING OH DEAR, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

I SAY TO THEM, HAPPY NEW YEAR, MAKE SURE YOU GO HOME, AND HAVE A SHOWER

CAUSE, MAN, YOU FUCKEN SMELL

AND DUDEY WOODEYS, WE ARE GOING TO DO THIS NEXT YEAR, SO BE AWARE

sweaty forehead, a gory past
wildly glowing eyes of oblivion
shivering hands, sirens, bars
freedom, imprisonment, razor blades

peru, coca farmers, chemicals
smuggler channels, route 36
franklin's face on crumpled-up paper
rattling coins, benjamins, stacks

gotta make it or take it
gotta sell or abuse it
flashing louis, abundant future
sweaty forehead, ****** present

biker chapters, brothers, funerals
tommy hauled jim's coffin
rick carried tommy to his grave
cut-offs, gats, one call: ******

despair, hatred, vengeance, omerta
mortals remain silent, angels don't
rain of blood, a puddle of codes
turf, plots, streets, blocks, gangs

cults **** cultures, weapons replace
shelter in a group home; the stabbing
"shaun got heart, he a furious one --
can use dat dude, pay him up"

black, white, african-american, chechens
territories of unspoken laws
intimidated witnesses, gay mobsters
lured teenagers, deadly magic of power

the old ones impress the new ones
newbies will turn into soldiers
**** or get killed; headshots of fear
numbers on the forehead, blueish

unwritten are the rules of some
bribed politicians, skippers, knockos
the one who wets, will be wetted
others prefer the clarity of faith

organized crime, rats and kingpins
multilevel marketing, elevators
glass towers, late and secret meetings
route 36, the white magic of death

it's all in the game


"The only thing that burns in hell is the part of you that won't let go of your life.
Your memories, your attachments, they burn 'em all away. But they're not punishing you, they say. They freeing yourself.

Relax."

(Quote from the film "Jacob's Ladder")

Maybe I'll clean up my act, just to be good.  It did give Shaun the chance to look deeply and most mournfully (nicely empathetic) into my eyes once upon a time ages ago...



(sonnet #MMMMMCMLXXIX)


I'll wear my heart upon this sleeve in pale
Excuse as oft as suits my fancy, whence
Ye all kin chide to no avail from hence,
Whiles I rebuff aught notions in betrayl
Of better sense, cuz nothing here is bail.
Or if some fragile thought seems vague defense,
Tis vanquished ere I've managed to gain thence
A foothold, and I'll be thus stripped and frail.
Ah, love.  Do thou but tempt me with the poor
Suggestion, ye kin laugh 'til ye are blue,
I'm prey, tears dried until tis proven fer
Whatever that twas aye, a jest.  I'll rue
Me folly, cherry-cheeked, and pray whiles your
Much wiser sense erm, coughs.  And yes, I knew.

20Oct16

We all know the impending, ominous, zombie apocalypse is ever present, here are some  guidelines I suggest we all follow, at all times:

1) Know you friends and enemies. Who can you trust? When the moment strikes, know who you will want by your side and who is expendable.

2) Assess your surroundings.
      a. Know your exits and any strategy involved.
      b. Be aware of any weapons that can be made available and remember their location.
      c. Make note of any abundant water sources/food/supplies, etc.

3) Cell phones be ******! ALWAYS carry with you these things:  pocket knife, lighter (more than one is never frowned upon, FIRE is essential!), matches, extra clothing esp. sox, underwear, long sleeves, etc.

4) Always have a means of fire. Quite possibly the most important thing.

5) Own a gun. Even if you think guns are bad. Get one anyway. When the **** hits the fan you'll be happy you have one, trust me.  Oh yeah, and plenty of ammo.

6) Be a mechanic. Learn how to hot-wire a vehicle. Learn how engines work and how to maintain one. Any handyman skill you can acquire will be well used I assure you.

7) Find a good place to grow produce. Any sort of green house your can Jerry Rig or acreage with rich topsoil you can find will come quite handy! ... when you're starving...

8) Generally, "safety in numbers" is a good rule to follow. However, in a zombie apocalypse, anything can happen. In my opinion, you're better off with a fewer number of people. That way you have less of a chance of exposure :)

9) Find armor. Anything you can use to avoid a bite to the neck, arm, leg, etc...

10) If someone is bitten, especially a loved one, **** THEM IMMEDIATELY!!

11) Don't seek out an island for solace. You'll only become trapped.

12) Don't seek high ground. You'll only become trapped.

13) Don't seek sewers. You'll only become trapped.

14) Stick and move. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.

15) Know that NO ONE wants to become a zombie and that means they will go to extreme lengths the avoid zombification. Ergo, NO ONE can be trusted.

16) Establish a bunker or Safehouse of some kind. Keep it stocked with water, food, weapons and ammunition. You can use coals from a fire to filter any ***** water. Plus, obviously, with fire, food can be cooked.

17) At all times, be prepared to evacuate the bunker or Safehouse if necessary. Keep all valuable items close at hand and easily obtainable.

18)  Have a secondary, less obvious bunker or Safehouse that you can flee to, at any time. Also well stocked.

19) Please, if you have children, make sure they're aware of the situation.
                  a. Don't lie to them about the fact that there are humans coming back to life to eat you.
                  b. Teach them how to use a weapon to defend themselves.
                  c. Just because there are zombies about doesn't mean they can't read or educate themselves.

20) Don't be a fool. We've all seen that boarding up windows and doors doesn't work for the hero. Don't bother, get the **** outa there!

21) Blend in. If you can do a good zombie impression, like those guys from "Shaun of the Dead" then I think you're golden!  OR, You could cover yourself in human guts and blood like in "Walking Dead". Either way, blending into the zombie environment is crucial.

22) Be hypersensitive to other peoples' feelings. Everyone will crack at a certain stress point. Some sooner than others. It will be those individuals that crack that will mean life or death.

Hmm?



(sonnet #MMMMMCMLXXXVI)


Distracted, aye as wont.  With half a sense
Of yonder pinned to five small minutes' tale.
As bitter air looks out from blue skies' pale
Mien and the maples whisper of suspense,
Orange-kissed or flaunting yellow in defense,
Go count the florets:  seven pinks detail
The stoney passage is't?  Four whites.  How frail
Their stance now drier stalks rasp over whence.
Yes, phlox.  Do peony bushes change in tour
With dusky red leaves, how my niece points to
Lacrima's echo tangrine globes as twere
Hang from, and I peg hopes to Shaun as who
Does not laugh oft, I guess.  Tell me it's poor.
And count the days 'til I shall see him too.

22Oct16b

Stephen showed me naked girls on cam calls me buddy this morning
****, cool!
It is alright!
I got guy friends and we tight
They won't hit on me cause..
well maybe they might
But I wont pay attention
not in my sight
we just keep chillin
Eshan says I pronounce his name better than his girlfriend
it is alright
we friends
we tight
James wants me but I keep running
he understands cause Im his buddy first
listens to me talk about Bill
Cause we tight
it is alright
Shaun be crazy, a blast and changes subject fast
kinda like me
we tight, he funny, my **** blocker
we alright, we tight
Dustin will look away before he sees me naked
cause we are friends and I ma more like a sister
It is alright, we alright
Justin is married and still we are alright
nice friends, these guys
we are all alright
Johnny Depp your ******* fine and taken
but we chat nice and funny
we alright
and you so **** tight..won't give it up
it is alright
we tight
You talk a good line
make me laugh
and listen to me whine
Yeah Johnny
we tight
Guy friends are cool
I do not worry about you falling for me or your drool
cause it is alright
we tight

My Dad kindly and gently said I am fine just as myself, though remarking on how foolishly prone I am to--never mind.  Reading these diary pages was enough for you.



(sonnet #MMMMMCMLXXXVII)


Divorced.  with one kid.  I'd forgotten thence
Twas ah, passe to be a single they'll
Assure you's worn a wedding ring, to fail
At vows along the years, this baggage' sense
Of broken why erm, happy is pretense,
Or laughter short-lived, sorrow that detail
His eyes are haunted by in sheer betrayl,
And I've been warned too many times.  Ah, whence?
Forsooth.  Is't something like, "don't ask."?  In poor
Excuse I took for granted what we knew.
For aye, who's not "experienced" as it were?
My brother said a bachlor'd love me, ooh--
Who'd cherish my ******'ty.  Shaun.  I cure
Naught in whatever, mixt up over who?

22Oct16c

you could call me Larry
you might call me Shaun
but I will look Eastward
and wait for the dawn

you may think me seasoned
you could call me spring
but I'm looking Eastward
while the morning birds sing

you could call me silly
you might think me dumb
but when I look Eastward
I greet the dawn sun

My sister loves me
when I see her
she hugs me
then later
she texts me
and says
how's the job
do you need money
come see my children
Wes and Sully
Here's my husband
wonderful man Shaun
works very hard
sweat in palm

Family values
what I desire
want a child
of my own
under the warmth
of a nice home
sweet mother
caring lady
I know she'll get along well
with my sister
I miss her
cuz I haven't met her
when I do
I'm gonna be so proud
Hope I have a daughter
and she gets to meet my mother
hope I can teach her
to be just like her
and my sister
hope we stay together
family picnic
I miss it
cuz I don't have it
but no panic
time will stamp it
when it is right
til then
I stay patient
and learn from those
doing it right
I try to help
prepare myself
for the love I'll do
sacrifice
and sweat
for the future
family
that's all I want
to say
goodnight, sleep tight
daddy loves you

You are allowed to be disgusted and denounce these early hours.  


(sonnet #MMMMMCMLXXXII)


Let's talk of scarlet vines which boldly trail
Across this wasteland yellows own from hence,
Orange like a note what'd gaily trim the sense
Of changing leaves, where purple winks in frail
Touch deep maroon knows best, while blues detail
Tinged with ist lavendar?  Green maples thence
On fire that slowly burns their staid pretense,
Ah me, still let us talk of scarlet's tale.
I can do nothing right.  The weekend, fer
Aught hope of dating's here, and I shall do
Time like I dinna care, cuz in a poor
Excuse I'm hard to get.  Swoon over who
Does not but tease whileas he cares, and you're
All wiser.  Shaun.  Why wake me?  I liked you.

21Oct16c

Oh well.  This is so ****** fun I think I'll...give up, like Dad sensibly advised.  Yes, I will.  [ah, famous last words.]



(sonnet #MMMMMCMLXXX)


Shaun.  There.  Oh me!  How I kin roll from hence
His name across my tongue in sheer betrayl,
To savour those four letters like't avail
Me, his dear voice my heart loves with a sense
Of sweet perfection, blue-grey eyes I'd thence
Look into sans aught knowledge of their bail
Til now it kills me:  muse on each in pale
Excuse, that curly brown hair love--but whence?
He does not know.  And I'm impossble fer
All that, til who despairs?  He likes me too.
Oh tort'rous joys!  For shall he ever tour
These pages and see this?!  Don't ask me to
Be sens'ble.  I am in a swoon in poor
Excuse til dunno when.  Oh that he knew!

21Oct16a

"moving on & moving in"

Charlotte sighed as she looked around her bedroom in the attict. there had been nothing left for her in the small town anymore. nothing but haunting memories, dark and blurry. reminders of her losses. & all of the things that could have been, should have been, and now never would be. memories that she used to treasure, now almost non-existant. & she hadn't been sure if it had been from all of the partying, or if it had been her minds way of trying to protect her from them. charlotte sealed up another box with tape which read "posters". so far charlotte had packed 8 boxes, 6 of which read posters aswell. all four walls had been covered with them, posters of beautiful places, song lyrics, and all of the rockstars that she adored. shaun morgan, kurt cobain, aaron lewis. joey ramone, alice cooper. she had basically spent all of her time there since Charlies death. listening to music, getting lost in the words of her favorite artists and authors. or poems and stories that she would write herself. when charlie died, charlotte checked out. almost as if she had died right along with him.