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Lyn-Purcell Nov 2017
Resting redly in an ocean of shadows
is Scarborough Fair.
With sweet and cardinal scent of the roses clinging to the air.
A woman of cherries, potential untapped.
With a harsh fate upon her as well as a pact.
A child born to parents star-crossed.
A love that was denied and a high cost.
I see her there
Fair-skinned, dark-haired.
Lips of rosed sin
And slinks the world prepared.

And with this woman walks the four,
Weapons of mass destruction that
the Devil would **** for.
The sass of Parsley
The wisdom of Sage
The touch of Rosemary
The passage of Thyme
A rewrite of my poem 'Umbra Witch' dedicated to Bayonetta 1.
SøułSurvivør May 2015
~~~^♡^

black light posters
lava lamps
purple haze
and mega amps

bright **** rugs
in pink and green
long straight hair
or Afro-Sheen

go ask Alice
how time flies
starships blast off
In her eyes

yellow ribbons
in her hair
Vietnam
Scarborough Fair

beaded curtain
leather n lace
brains are gone
without a trace

Mother Mary
let it be
flower power
love for free

you can find
a cause to bend
but it's hard
to find a friend

psychedelic
music blasts
what was "groovy"
now the past


soulsurvivor
5/10/2015

~~~^♡^
blast from the past

~~~^♡^
Are you going to the Scarborough Fair?
Drowning in mists of gardens unfair,
No I'm not going to Scarborough Fair.
You may ne'er return from there,
So cross the hatch on Scarborough Fair.
Wain: Farm wagon
Jazzelle Monae Jul 2014
Your name tastes like cotton candy
The way it melts on my tongue
Sweet. Light.
Your eyes feel like the farris wheel
When you get to the very top
Hypnotic. Captivating
Your kiss sounds like a roller coaster
Sitting at the very front
Active. Alive.
And everything looks like a first date.
*Vivid. Relevant.
© 2014 by Jazzelle Monae. All rights reserved.
J H Webb Jul 2014
Scarborough circa 1989

Jacqui in the night of the instant sunrise
Raises the morning on her shoulders
Swelling between tears and laughter
She melts words into meaning
and gambles on intuition and power

Jacqui in the night of the instant sunrise
looking back and looking forward
finds the dawn most appealing
and issues commands and warnings
to all those with the inner strength to heed them

Jacqui in the night of the instant sunrise
smiles, and the strength of metal
and the purest of beauty
are forged anew

Into the eyes of this miraculous woman
I enter a new beginning
where wisdom lives, and moves, behind her horizons

Jacqui in the night of the instant sunrise
becomes the centre
where all truths are issued passage
and all lies are refused

Jacqui in the night of the instant sunrise
blends courage and compassion
into hues of fine precision
and automatic weapons

Jacqui in the night of the instant sunrise
spreads warmth like a familiar blanket
and moves the day by her power
just as it moves her.
James H. Webb
Bunhead17 Nov 2013
[Intro: Jhene Aiko]
What's up?
Been a minute since we kicked it, you've been caught up
With them *******, I don't get it, you're a star love
You shouldn't have to deal with that
I'd never make you feel like that
Cause...

[Hook: Jhene Aiko]
I love me, I love me enough for the both of us
That's why you trust me, I know you been through more than most of us
So what are you? What are you, what are you so afraid of?
Darling you, you give but you cannot take love

[Verse 1: Drake]
I needed to hear that ****, I hate when you're submissive
Passive aggressive when we're textin', I feel the distance
I look around the peers that surround me, these ****** trippin'
I like when money makes a difference but don't make you different
Started realizin' a couple places I could take it
I want to get back to when I was that kid in the basement
I want to take it deeper than money, *****, vacation
And influence a generation that's lackin' in patience
I've been dealing with my dad, speakin' of lack of patience
Just me and my old man gettin' back to basics
We've been talkin' 'bout the future and time that we wasted
When he put that bottle down, girl that *****'s amazin'
Well, **** it, we had a couple Coronas
We might have rolled a white paper, just somethin' to hold us
We even talked about you and our couple of moments
He said we should hash it out like a couple of grown ups
You a flower child, beautiful child, I'm in your zone
Lookin' like you came from the 70's on your own
My mother is 66 and her favorite line to hit me with is
Who the **** wants to be 70 and alone?
You don't even know what you want from love anymore
I search for somethin' I'm missing and disappear when I'm bored
But girl, what qualities was I lookin' for before?
Who you settlin' for? Who better for you than the boy, huh?

[Hook]

[Verse 2: Drake]
Thinkin' 'bout Texas, back when Porscha used to work at Treasures
Or further back than that, before I had the Houston leverage
When I got Summer a Michael Kors with my momma's debit
A weak attempt at flexin', I'll never forget it
Cause that night I played her three songs
Then we got to talkin' 'bout something we disagreed on
Then she start tellin' me how I'll never be as big as Trey Songz
Boy was she wrong, that was just negative energy for me to feed off
Now it's therapeutic blowin' money in the Galleria
Or Beverly Center Macy's where I discovered Bria
Landmarks of the muses that inspired the music
When I could tell it was sincere without tryin' to prove it
The one that I needed was Courtney from ******* on Peachtree
I've always been feelin' like she was the piece to complete me
Now she engaged to be married, what's the rush on commitment?
Know we were goin' through some ****, name a couple that isn’t
Remember our talk in the parking lot at the Ritz
Girl I felt like we had it all planned out, I guess I ****** up the vision
Learnin' the true consequences of my selfish decisions
When you find out how I’m livin' I just hope I’m forgiven
It seem like you don’t want this love anymore
I’m actin' out in the open, it’s hard for you to ignore
But girl, what qualities was I lookin' for before?
Who you settlin' for, who better for you than the boy, huh?

[Hook]

[Outro: Baka]
"Been Baka aka Not Nice from time, G. Been a East Side ting. Scarborough ting from time, G, been have up di ting dem from time, G. So I don't know what's wrong with these little wasteman out here eh? Y'all need to know yourself."
I love this song... "From Time" by Drake Ft. Jhene Aiko ****. By: Chilly Gonzales & Noah "40" Shebib
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2016
the day near finished and
the night aglet as if day;
what came first -
cliff richard's devil woman
(chicken) or the eagles'
witchy woman (egg)?
cockerel via ****** already took
the opera seat, and the soprano
slit open the larynx of the castrato...
just so the chandelier and windows
shattered in practice...
if your poetry isn't musical, not rhyming,
just write about music,
that's what bukowski conveyed...
make poetry an interest in music,
don't make it this trollop-cod-whipped-****
self-interest... if you can't sing because
an elephant stomped on your ear
or you never had enough money to buy a saxophone,
don't make complex musicology of symphonies
cute with "adoration" using the rhyming technique,
forget it, it's not cute, it's damnable...
true virtue isn't afraid of critique...
write about what you love so i can look it up
and share it, don't write self-love walking sticks
of decrepit fidelity of marathon runners
that wheeze out after the 100th meter in
goldfish dollops of addictive lungs gulping for
breath... no technique in poetry will ever be music
in terms of actual music...
ever heard tenacious d's one note song?
most poetry sounds like that:
sound
around
            orange peel
            foot massage that turned into zest of extra
sound
around
            a tambourine tabernacle
            with st. thomas ******* a rib cage
kangaroo pouch
****'s ouch
                             five multipliers mono
*******
softy
                     doughnut
                                               peach;
'***** where's the cream?!'
'oh boy it's coming, coming with the flying scotsman's
                                steam;
                         ­                      choo choo!'
puff up you puffing puffin *******!
well, i was always going to be an extension of her
doing the triceps choo choo dangle motion;
morph into a church bell uvula
morph into a church bell uvula...
of a-ding-along-for-a-ding-**** of st. ursula's
interpretation of english police officers
deviation from the standard:
                       'allo 'allo 'allo.... n'est-ce pas pas ce comme ce?
Vivek Jul 2012
Drapes for windows anew, imitating neighbourhood too,
Furniture rearranged, pictures too; all in blue,
Watchin’, dreamin’ lucid at the porch, of you;
Lay hanging on by the leash, I wait to let go,
Like magic birthday candles reignite, reignite,
Thoughts raced of rats and Tremor Christ,
Dried tears shed tumbling down as I cried;
With every moment I lay, I lay inspired;
I’ll make my yellow bucket list,
This’ll also include in it some of Budapest,
I’ll head off maybe from Scarborough,
Go all the way to Bali with packs of Marlboro,
And maybe then, I’d have answered;
All those questions that have lingered,
And maybe then, I’d have lived,
All those rights and wrongs, greeted and treated,
I’ll travel alone but not lonely,
My feet, my only carriage, I’ll carry;
I’ll carry me home one night!!
in scarborough

we saw richard wilson

but no one believed us





we looked for god in york

amongst the money changers

he had gone outside

with the music





in whitby we played boats

pirates the next day

and all the while we were changing

thinking of herrings and eating nuts



she caught a small thing

tiny tiny mouse

ate it

but the bitter entrails remain.

nasty



she could have let it go
topaz oreilly Oct 2012
You felt a Monster
when your Hamster Wolverine  died
Did that almost turn your head to Sylvia Plath
Yet you are decidedly amongst the living
and should never pilgrim with Mannequins
When Life's bedevilled by doubt
can your wise  friend find rhyme with you
perhaps to Scarborough and back again
on some weekend decider.
Jai Rho Mar 2014
“Good afternoon, Mr. Leitch.  Have you had a busy day?”

     Grey eyes peered over wireframe spectacles and gazed upon a vision that lifted the corners of his mouth.  “Yes, quite.  Thank you for asking.  So lovely to see you again, my dear.”

     As she entered the tailor’s shop and lithely traced her fingers across yards of brightly colored silk, and muted finely woven wool, her companion quietly assembled outside the entrance door.  He had selected a prime location adjacent to the neighboring baker’s store.  At that hour, the wafting mixed aromas of warm cookies, cakes, baguettes and shepherd’s bread would lure workers of the day from their homeward paths for just a bit of something to fill their evening meals, or add a little nuance to the setting of the sun.

     “And you as well, kind Sir.  I do adore observing the mastery in the magic of your finery.”

     “Well now, what a lovely thing to say.  And I adore listening to you as well.  But no more of that ‘Sir’ business.  You must call me ‘Arthur,’ as I have said before.”

     “Ah, then no more of that ‘dear’ business.  You must call me ‘Kathy,’ and we shall both listen to more lovely sounds that will soon fill this room.”

     At that moment, when the tailor’s eyes began to sparkle, Kathy’s companion began to strum a well-seasoned lute as he sang a refrain from an old Yorkshire ballad:

          Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
          Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme
          Remember me to one who lives there
          For once she was a true love of mine

Then slowly, a crowd began to gather, one-by-one and in twos and threes, of those emerging from the bakery or simply passing by, as lamplights began to glow against the evening sky.    

          Tell her to make me a cambric shirt
          Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme
          Without a seam or needlework
          Then she shall be a true love of mine

Entwined within the strumming, individual notes came alive and danced their way across the frets and fingerboard to leap and float about the crowd.  In time with the rhythm and the melody, pence and schillings soon found their way into the instrument’s open case, sounding light percussive accompaniment and applause.

     And then as though entranced, Kathy twirled about the tailor’s shop and took the tailor’s hand, to lead him out into the square and join the merry band.  She smiled a wondrous look, with eyes closed to the scene around her, as she gazed upon the vision within her, and her sweet voice shared its verse:

          Tell him to find me an acre of land
          Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme
          Between the salt water and the sea sand
          Then he shall be a true love of mine

Then Kathy gave a laugh or two, and raised her arms to the incandescent night, as a blackbird perched itself atop the crescent moon, resting in the palms of her hands.
Brycical Oct 2012
Don't cry in the whisky baby
I am an alcoholic highlight reel
mostly made from concentrated
      words--
I'll quit when I'm ready
for all kinds of art
vibrating love venom,
and words like love--
         I can't seem to agree with authority.
My ankle indicates some sprain or tweak.

There's plenty of beer in the fridge,
I am not going to *** my pants ever again
like a **** and bottle of bourbon.
            Thanks, I'm full
but parents never cared.
The road is litered--
the marrow ****** from their veins everyday
and the gypsy whisper of "why are we?"
is in my heartbeat.
There it went, frolicking through the midnight sky
like a car wreck,
haunting, like the song "Scarborough Fair."
I have a bunch of unfinished poems, so I decided to look at all of them, and without changing anything, take the first line of one and combine it with the second line of another and combine that with a third line of.... you get the idea. Second stanza is the same thing, just starting from another point from the first poem.
jo spencer Jul 2013
Off to buy a discounted Pentax Spotmatic 2
down Purley Radios.
I want  to book a holiday in Scarborough too.
Dracula's  brood back in Shirley
deserve a wait long for that postcard.
Later I plan to take Rachel to  see
"The Phantom of the Paradise"
and together buy some vinyl  down HR Cloakes.
"Calamity Jane", by  Stray Dog I suggest
Parfait is  the  world  for us  bedsitters in Waddon.
Spencer Cook Dec 2018
He recalls the details of the grand fair-
Dark Amontillado seeps in a bit.
Sure of his love’s bright light that’s waiting there.

He offers up to God a silent prayer-
If it is heard he will have to admit
he makes his way to his first ever fair.

He steps into a swell of steamy air
where half-truths and quick looks pull him to it.
Sure of his love’s bright light that’s waiting there.

The signs all point, but his mind is elsewhere.
What kind of ode praises the opposite?
He arrives at the ever-popular fair.

The whole town knows but he decides not to care.
He trusts the Snakes had nothing to omit.
Sure of his love’s bright light that’s waiting there.

She always hid but now wants to care.
Adieu chérie scrawled on the eyes; unfit
he waits at the gate of her past love’s affair.
He never truly looked for her there.
Josh Morter Jan 2013
I remember the times we had
the love between us
a dad and his son
fooling around and having fun
the football games in the hall
the family holidays
the time we got stuck in the snow
family holidays in Scarborough
playing football with the club
playing football in the hall
with a spongy ball
a bust old door for a goal
Christmas’s at my aunties
playing Pictionary
the parents were really competitive
them times have passed now
and I know it will never be the same
dads died and I can’t change that
but every hour of everyday adds a
memory to the times we had.
2004 poem by Josh Morter ©

this was the first poem I had ever really written (2004 in my first year of GCSE's), it was on a poetry day at school and a select few pupils were allowed to take part and I was chosen even though I shouldn't have been. To this day though. I don't think without this experience and push to express myself I would have ever written poetry.
andy fardell Feb 2012
Tis near the day that you was lost away
departed from this earth yet met with love
into another place
such peace within yet a knowing time was thin

Im happy thats your there with gramma,grandad
love and care
seem strange so long ago we had your madness
love and woes
but now I am at ease that freedom found you and found me

mum i still do see the love you had and gave me  
i share it with my son yet hide the troubles that were done
your kindness and your smile
a love of scarborough ..Christmas syle

so another year flies by and yes i'm saddened
oh i bless
take care mothers child see you up there
mum of mine
The Forester King (The Legend of Robin Hood)

Twas but merely a hundred years
Harold with splintered eye, wept blood, not tears
William The Conqueror of Normandy, had battles won
As old Saxon Danes were badly out-done
Their fight for survival, had just begun

Enslaved by Norman Earls, Barons and Knights
After the death of Hereward The Wake, in fights
The Saxons were treated simply as serfs
Diminished in strength, morale and nerves
Their courage was now on its final reserves

Like Romeo and Juliet, two lovers barely met at all
Joanna, daughter to Saxon Sir George of Gamwell Hall
And William Fitzooth, son to the Norman Baron of Kyme
Joannas father, saw their union as a crime
Yet it was to late, to prevent love in its prime

They married in secret, soon producing a son
Yet presently were left with nowhere to run
Soon, Sir George had tracked the eloping lovers
In Sherwood Forest, was soon to discover
His daughter, as a married maternal mother

Bursting with forgiveness and new-found proud
Stood proud, as his grandson lay peacefully at his side
Sir George, forgotten now his anger of before
This was the birth of 'Robins Lore'
To take from the rich, and give to the poor

Richard the First, came to the throne
Bishop Ely ruled, whilst the 'Lionheart' was gone
On various campaigns
Whereupon many an enemy was slain
Richard the cause of his enemies bane

The kings evil brother John, without just reason
Accused Bishop Ely, of treason
This 'Sceptered Isle' now without a crown jewel
As John, became the Prince of mis-rule
A man savage, selfish, wicked and cruel

He appointed Sheriffs to keep good order
At a price, they would soon turn marauder
One became Sheriff of Nottingham, by the Forest of Sherwood
And thus heard tell of Robert Fitzooth, the Earl of Huntingdons' good
That the Earl, was in fact, Robin Hood

Earl Robert, was to be married on the morrow
To Lady Marian Fitzwalter, his heart to bestow
On the eve of this merry event
A feast at Locksley Hall was meant
Disguised, the Prince attended, John the miscreant

Sir Guy of Gisbourne, in the name of Prince, and falsely of king
Before the final vows, were about to begin
Declared the Earl of Huntingdon, an outlaw in truth
Was also Robin Hood, as well as Robert Fitzooth
By his own confession, there-in lay the proof

Maid Marian, to Arlington Castle, went she
To reside with her father, for security
Robin meanwhile, rode to the green wood, with arrows and swords
To await the Lionhearts return, from his fighting abroad
No longer then, would Robin be outlawed

He sought justice, and an end to discords
Caused by the cruelty of Barons, Bishops, Sheriffs and Lords
A plain yeoman of Locksley, now was he
He suffered not, from false vanity
Yet men of Lincoln Green, elected him king of Sherwood Forestry

From Sherwood Forest, Robin continued the fight
To protect the innocent, and defend what was right
Alongside him, a loyal band of warriors brave
Such as Little Jon Naylor, so skilled with a stave
Would willingly fight Prince John, or any other knave

Robins laws, were moral and well refined
To aid those whom suffered cruelties, so unkind
His men were sworn, to fight for the good
to help the poor, orphans, and in widowhood
And to swear to harm no woman, no matter whose side she stood

The day cane for Robin and his men to part
Upon the brief return of King Richard The Lionheart
He joined Robin and Marian, thus they were wed
Within a few hours the Lionheart lay dead
Prince John became king, and after Robins head

Yet Robin in disbelief, ignored the warning
Unsure of whether, he should be in mourning
Little John, oft warned Robin, of the vengeful King John
Aware of the fact, that Richard was gone
With the help of the Sheriff, on Robin they were to set upon

By the time Robin realised the reality of it all
He was entombed in a turret encompessed by a wall
Luckily a rusted window bar came loose, a hundred feet from ground
He blew his bugle horn (won at Ashby-de-la-zouch) Little John echoed his sound
Thus Robin escaped, badly injured, was for Scarborough Fair bound

After a brief adventure, and fighting pirates at sea
(During which time he used a pseudonym of fisherman Simon Lee)
Robin joined Marian and Little John at Kirkleys Nunnery
The Prioress, Robins own aunt, agreed he should be bled
Treacherously, after his fortune, she wanted him dead
He was finally buried, where an arrow fell, fired from his death bed.
andy fardell Mar 2011
dad
I saw his shadow and warmed at his smile
my dad my mate my soul plus one
he never ever saw me other than his son
faultless little bundle from heaven maybe hell
saw him sat beside me wanted
wishing me was here wanting so to call him brought me to a tear

Can hear his voice so sweetly ...laughing so out loud
remembering all those good times
scarborough sounds about
yet there I was this daytime looking over there
seeing daddys shadow sitting the chair ..made me sad and happy
that thoughts I knew he had
son just be ones happy ...
dont worry im alright
Lyn-Purcell Jul 2017
A woman stands strong and sensuous and proud
Her mind a fractured mirror cloaked in fog
Shard by shard
The bayonet finds her way, following the sweet scent of the ****** rose
Wielding her Scarborough Fair
The sass of Parsley
The wisdoms of Sage
The touch of Rosemary
The passage of Thyme

The woman
Born of the dark side of the moon
With powers untold
Able to twist and bend the spindles of shadows and time
Fair-skinned
Lips full and glazed with cardinal sin
Slick locks of ebony
A perfumed 500 year blur
With the night's lunar charm that twinkles in her eye
And butterflies that swoon for their Madama
She
The blood child born of the union of the sun and moon
The black sheep of the dark arts
Is one with the most beloved of Umbran treasures
Is the sweetest cherry with a long-forgotten radiant smile,
A harsh destiny
Who looks to the left side of the moon for the upcoming chaos.
Based on one of my favorite games, Bayonetta. This is a poem I wrote in my journal today also!
Solaces Jun 2013
Laxius log: 1215889----

This will be year 23 that i have been long adrift from an attack by an unknown enemy: I still have plenty of food and water to last another 23 years.. seems so very long ago that the attack took place: I have tried to repair my engines but to no avail: On this morning however i captured a transmission on my com-staion: the signal seem mixed at first but i was able to clear it: I then heard tones and strange voices: It was very beautiful: The tones created a sort of pattern while the voice would join in from time to time also trying to create a pattern in sync with the tones: From where ever this beautiful signal came from, I am showing that i am but 20 years away from its original orgin: Although adrift, I am still in route toward this signal: I can only wonder what sort of life could make such a beautiful beautiful signal: I do not know what to call it otherwise: But for its beauty in tones i will call it wish-dream..


Oct 7th 1969: Today I brought my son to work. I have worked for NASA for the last 10 years.. It was sort of a boring day until I took him into the research center.. I took him to one of our most powerful telescopes.. He wanted to stay there for hours just looking at the moon and stars.. He asked " Dad do you think there is life out there.?" I then took him to our transmissions building.. And I told him that we could send a signal out to space in hopes someone will hear it.. I told him we could send anything we want.. He decided to send "scarborough fair canticle" He decided on that song because that was his mom's favorite song.. I wish she was still here with us.. He then told me something very beautiful. " Dad maybe mom will hear this in heaven."
Ben Jones Nov 2016
Ladies and gentlemen, stop and behold
Bid farewell to shingles, to gout and the cold
And a mighty assortment of general malaises
From cranial trauma to scratches and grazes
Your bones will be mended, no need for a cast
With acute tonsillitis consigned to the past
For I bring you a medical miracle cure
And the name of this potion you’re sure to procure?

Doctor Morcomb’s Tincture
From the institute of Scarborough
With a measured twist of alchemy
And three lumps of macabre
A drop or two will beat the flu
Retracting recent sneezes
Buy Doctor Morcomb’s Tincture
For all manner of diseases

Pungent red syrup can clearly be spied
Past the decorative label adorned on the side
A drop eases aching, a second for pains
A capful should rapidly unblock your drains
With daily consumption, whilst not recommended
The length of your tongue will be vastly extended
Avoid naked flames, never jiggle or jolt
Keep it cool, in the dark, in a circle of salt

Doctor Morcomb’s Tincture!
Most marvellous of potions
Farewell to bitter tasting pills
To liniments and lotions
Take only by the moonlight
And in arms reach of a swan
Now buy as much as time affords
By sundown, I’ll be gone
Stu Harley Oct 2015
ash white
sycamore tree
we meet again
at
the
scarborough fair  
your
autumn leave
hang
pumpkin orange
and
maple brown
your
face
so round
and
fair
TOD HOWARD HAWKS Mar 2020
The title comes from the song SCARBOROUGH FAIR by Simon and Garfunkel. This one line has inspired me to write this poem. Isn't that what Generals do, "order their soldiers to ****?" And that's what soldiers do, as well as being killed, as happens to too many of them. Why don't Generals (who are themselves rarely killed) order their soldiers to love, to put down their weapons and find another human being and give that human being a hug. Maybe even break bread with their fellow member of the human race. Killing each other is insane. We no longer have to use high-powered military weapons to **** our distant relatives. Some crazy ******* (e.g. **** Trump) may accidentally, or on purpose, drop a hydrogen bomb on a city, let's say, and in so doing, **** all of humanity in short order. Nations are anachronistic anyway;  catastrophic climate change, which threatens to **** all living creations on Earth, tells us we are all in this together. There are no national, political boundaries to keep us from possibly dying of the coronavirus pandemic. The Arctic and Anarctic glaciers that are melting as I compose this poem are oblivious to national, political boundaries. So are the toxic fumes that oil-using nations spew into the air that all living creatures eventually breathe and, in time, die from doing so. Why do we need Generals ordering their soldiers to **** when presidents and dictators are doing a far better job of killing than Generals ever could? I myself prefer a hug to a hydrogen bomb.

Copyright 2020 Tod Howard Hawks
A graduate of Andover and Columbia College, Columbia University, Tod Howard Hawks has been a poet and human-rights advocate his entire adult life. He recently finished his novel, A CHILD FOR AMARANTH.
SarahJane Apr 2019
My Demons are trying to taunt me mum, I constantly feel them pushing through. Maybe it's caused by the way I feel, maybe it's because I miss you.

I miss you every day mum, with every beat of my heart. Although I always knew the day would come, the day we had to part.

I never thought you would leave so soon, I wasn't even 30 and you were gone. You never should of left mum, it's here where you belong.

You will always hold a place in my heart, please believe that this is true. Ill always hold a happy place, I can go to think of you.

I cannot seem to grieve mum, nearly two years I have tried. My pain won't seem to get easier mum, it's still as sore as the day you died.

I wish I could stop the pain mum, and just remember the great memories so true. Of love and laughter and dancing round the house, the crazy times just me and you.

I'd love someone to help me, make the bad thoughts and Demons go away, and help me focus on the good memories forever every day.

There are days I have good thoughts, from memories over the years. The ones that make me laugh and smile, yet still bring me to tears.

Before I go on I have to share, a few memories that make me smile. One's that help me through a bad day, even just for a little while.

I remember snowball fights in winter, back walking in the summer. Coming home soaked and covered in mum, then going back and doing it over.

I remember you shouting and laughing at me, soaked and covered in mud those days when I came home. Making me sit outside til I dried off, looking like a little garden gnome.

I remember being in Scarborough and walking with you and dad, making sylvester speech sounds making you laugh so bad.

I remember you lent over, laughing so hard out loud, those days we had were magical, u always looked at me so proud.

You're other little girl is getting married mum, I can't believe it's true, she knows you will be there with her mum, she really misses you.

She knows you will be with her, when she walks down the Isle, she knows you're there in spirit mum, watching with pride and a smile.

I'm trying to push my life forward mum, I hope that you can see, and when the day comes that I get married mum, I hope you are there with me.

I'm going to write off now mum, i really need to sleep, ill see you in my dreams mum, with the memories I keep.

Goodnight, godbless, sleep well mum.
I love you oh so true,
Sending love and kisses to the stars,
Sent from me to you.

I love you mum xxxx
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2021
i'm a mangled sort of man... i'd love to tease the whole alpha-male / beta-male dichotomy... use some other greek letters (i will use one) like γ-male or σ-male... someone in history once said... i'm the alpha & the omega... well... i'm an omega-male... i go to brothels, i ride a bicycle at night on Sunday when the air is crisp and devoid of wind and traffic pollution: devoid of traffic to begin with... reaching speeds that make my eyes water... my estimate it... 30mph... i don't date: never have, never will... why would i pay for food and hope: "hope" for getting laid, when i can bypass all the ******* with a *******? i don't own a car because i don't want to pay road tax... i don't want to pay for parking... i don't want to pay for insurance or an annual m.o.t. check... obviously i have to fork out on an inner tube from time to time... a new tire... some chain grease... even on the outskirts of London... if i wanted to cycle into London to admire it... hell... it beats walking in and around the sights... even if it's a 15 mile sloth ride's worth past Little Bangladesh of: from Ilford through to Mile End... it's a lot easier not being native of this land... even the foreigners have this knack of citing: born & bred... well... born 'ere... hardly bred... i was living on these shores from 1994... my father came in 1990... he would have been legally allowed to stay in 1997... since... every illegal immigrant living for 7 years... covertly... in England would be allowed to stay... we were deported in 1997... on the day that we heard princess Diana was killed in a car crash... my grandfather was visiting... trauma... the day before we went to a makeshift entertainment park with... oh i remember it well... the name of the ride is a bit murky... but it was like a ferriswheel that started spinning horizontally before slowly changing to a vertical rotation... i was fierce in competition sliding a ball into several holes on an elevation to win a... crimson rottweiler imitation plush toy for my mother... which i did... the next day princess Diana died... the home office came... with the police... an old school version of Batman & Robin was playing on the t.v.... my father made a runner... they caught him... i watched as my parents were hand-cuffed... in my room i was standing looking at the wall when a home office police officer came in and said: earnestly... nice computer... i turned around and gave him... eh... a death stare... when the commotion was over i was sobbing and punching the wall... while my grandfather didn't know what to do... they released my parents after a day's worth of interrogation... we were politely asked to leave the country in a space of a month... or two weeks... so we sorted everything out... gave a newly bought cat to my ****** uncle etc. and left... for a year... the world cup was happening in France (1998) while i watched the final in complete blackout with my great-grandmother, Mary... i even remember the opening ceremony... but the place was changed... i was to be put into a school for autistic children... generally... problem children... i couldn't just... be reintegrated into the schooling system in Poland... so... i was home-schooled... math... and still... reading books in English... that's how i came across... the Little Prince... all my friends designated my a: traitor's role... we changed our surname... a ****** name in ****** to begin with... even ******* surname in English... if only there was a German SCH in it... much more sense... yes... i was, am... was... an economic migrant... like your Turk in Germany...  but since we're talking... someone from under the old Warsaw Pact... suspicious?! well... no suspicions now! i don't even know whether they're my countrymen... it only takes one Muslim to suppose you're a German that... well... i'll go with that... but hey! now the natives have invited the Afghans to a Scarborough hotel... and it's... going... oh so well! am i still a "racist" if i ****** a black girl and dated a half-indian? ****** a Roma girl... a Thai surprise and... ooh... the love of my life... if i had to put it into 30 minute's worth... ol' raven haired Turkish delight... my ******* yummy... at this point... i'm all shovel & dust... i simply don't care... that's the plan... as i once remarked: the best plan is to... have no plan... just the will to overcome personal griefs. i'm not native enough to care... we were supposed to treat England as a stopover before, hopefully reaching Canada via Argentina... but then that massive crash in Argentina happened... i returned to England... somewhat... refreshed... i'll write in Ing-Leash... i'll speak in Ing-Leash... i'll even... for ****'s sake THINK in Ing-Leash... but in private?! to hell with speaking this language! i'll speak in ****** while teasing myself with some German! hell! i'll even employ Greek! Latin!

it's hard to orientate your unconscious when you
hear stories that...
being born with a Chernobyl "tattoo" (on my right
shoulder blade, later removed)...
plagued with hernia...
and the fact that some nurse tried to **** you while
in hospital... monstrous hybrid...
i wasn't born a monster...
             how i became one...
                            at least intellectually...
the assassination attempt by this nurse
was a failure... my heart was enlarged...
enlarged to the point of, what?
loving everyone... the select few...
now... it's the size of a pebble...
i sometimes feel its gravity sinking my chest
into an implosion...

hence my suspicion of all women...
well... except the prostitutes...
those women i'll love even if my whittle wichard
malfunctions because i'm so drunk &
so limp that i end up asking her
for words for eyes, mouth, freckles, fingers
in her Romanian... later the same girl
is donning pigtails... but no schoolgirl uniform...
of course i'm suspicious:
it's unconscious: from what i've been told...

oh i'm so familiar with this thought-out plot
of "privilege"... for a while in England
i forgot about race...
now... it's glaring in my face... i went along with
the narrative for so much time...
now i'm asking questions a child might ask:
why are these current... "illegal" migrants allowed
to stay... rough up a hotel in... wherever...
while in 1997... i was politely told to leave?
i might be petty now...
but back then...
back then from the few outliers there was no real
concern for race...
then again: the attack from the grammatical
side of things: pronoun me you this that i & the other...
it's hard not to see a second recurrence
of a culmination crux that galvenized
a Charles Manson...
this **** (time) is on repeat! it's absolutely...
petrifying!
it's like the 20th century... at least its later halve
is... what it is! something best avoided but
at the same time: unavoidable!
nothing's current: in that everything is recurrent!
it's not like history is dead...
nothing ever really dies...
and since it doesn't die...
and cannot return to something resembling
a linear setting... it has accumulated itself
in... time as cyclic... ergo non linear...
the 20th century has given us that...
i always thought that space was a cyclic invention...
what with the orbit of planets etc.
but time seemed to be forever... linear!
that's not the case anymore...
prior to the 20th century... sure... time, with hindsight
appears to be linear...
but now?! now?! it's a cyclic mess!

today i was pondering ******* off to Poland
to keep my grandmother company...
become an English teacher
and live in a ******* of my birth...
the metallurgical industry is non-existent...
what will i do? teach more ****** girls and boys
some English to come over here for
the brain-drain and what... surf the great tide
of... the world sub-staining?

double-standasrds... why can't i inherit the merit
of my fellow country-men in the survival
of the United Kingdom...
those airmen who had dog fights with spitfires
across the English sky?
i can't: i wish i could...
i need to make my own mark...
like in conversation with my mother, today...
she can compliment on my i.q.:
but beside my i.q.: i'm "lazy"... i'm narrow...
i'm whatever insult pleases you to entertain...
my mother is like my past girlfriends...
if you want a ******* cushion!?
here! lay your head on this stone! ******.

my father always had the softer approach...
my heart it spent...
it has shrank to the size of a date...
a pebble...
                    i'm listening to:
for ****'s sake... Templar music...
  die eisenfaust am lanzenschaft...
and i see it! i see it... women!
they require so much attention from stone-hearted men!
they need to be slapped-up a bit...
no joke...
      they go off on their trans-racial escapades
and return... what? *****?!
******* gloomy... properly disinhibited...

******* curry... so much science goes into
a curry... i need to have it explained...
bake me a proper baked chicken:
Kurvinder...
oh wait... you can't!
you're going to dice the chicken ******* up...
forgo using the entirety of the corpus
hardly saute the meat... just soak it the gravy...
tell me... lucky you:
with the addition of spices...
curry isn't exactly the highest extent of
the collective human: cuisine...
but the way it's being ate: subsequently sold...
it's the only cuisine left available...
i like a curry... but for, ****'s sake...
i also love Baltic sushi surrounding the mythology
of the herring!

dill! dill! & a creamy sauce with pickled cucumber!
i never attached much concern for
the love of my mother: i don't she ever allowed me
to attach it...
she has even prescribed her final will as being...
lost on the "tablature" of medical students...
she's to become a corpus readied for medical practicses...
i can't bury her... curry her... scatter her ashes..

if my mother doesn't wish me to be a weakling...
my father sees unimportant...
tras-racial sexuality is such a faze
for a lot of these girls...
it's great mingling among Kenyans
******* fellow Kenyans...
no one ever asked... in pop... context...
don't do Orangutans...
resemble...down syndrome specimens?!
oh i get the gorilla, the chimpaneze...
but an orangutan?
the eyes are not... bother somely close
together?
to reiterate... the people selling "us"...
Darwinism are not selling us
the... Wittgensteinian admiration
for the Copernican model of
heliocentricity... oh wow... the first to not...
make it a summit of discovery crediting
Galileo... such an un-western "thing" to do...
*******...
          i'll be siding with the Russians and
the Ancient Greeks from now on...
you... plausible palsy... ******' retards!
no... you had your fun!...
now comes the wound... now comes the salt!

i was illegal once... i learned my lesson...
the day itself was made "illegal" since princess Diana died...
then i became legal after a hiatus...
best be... the happy camper...
             now? Noah! Noah!
you want me... to... reintegrate: inegrate myself
to suit... there was a ******* Warsaw Pact...
the pan-Slavic movement that nourished the birth and kept
upheaval of the Soviets...
the Slavs were to come together...
sure... beside the Serbs who...
well the Ottoman Empire were supposed to do X...
we'll do Z...
but we excluded all the barbers..
Y? oh **** knows... let's call in "NATO"...

it's welcome though: we're the... ahem... little people...
apart from the women.. they know their worth....
they can be snatched up: h'americana ridiculed...
subsequently let loose!
by numbers... i reduce my concern for reality
with tye numbers i'm given:
i'm always like... this ****... best not happen..
in my vicinity... if it does...
i'm out... no... there's no "game".

i'll say what my mother is of afraid of saying:
we're walking abortions...
sorry... but that's what we are...
i believe that there's traction... serious traction for
this opinion in...
the "land of the free"...
i personally feel like a walking abortion..
i ought to feel like... argh... grr...
sort of ownership of manhood..
i substituted ***** envy with beard envy:
but now...
no.... even my mother disqualifies me
as being... "proper" recipient...
of... "reciprocation"...
lesson learned...

  i need to become a dis-hearted...
a... a heartless man.
cool cool...
i can do that...
                         sell me some painkillers will you?
or am i smooth as **** i'm willing to **** someone
on the *****-nilly!

perhaps i never urinated on a homeless man...
i'm pretty sure i spat a wonderus spat...
from 4 stories in a car park...
to get back at the colts who spat at my father
when we visited Chessington
world of "adventure"...

otherwise... i'm so mangled...
i use both the imperial and the metric systems...
e.g.
185°F for an anglaise sauce:
custard... which implies
you don't heat the eggs prior to beating
them with the milk & cream...
sure... gelato is superior in taste to ice-cream...
but gelato isn't equipped for storage...
ice-cream on the other hand is...

165°F for roast chicken: *******....
butterfly... it takes circa under 20 minutes
to roast them perfectly...
i watch Australian Masterchef and hear
of these stories of... recipes passed down...
grandmothers with traditions...
sorry... world war II happened...
herr bite bon-bon came round
as did the soviets... then i left...
oh i do remember my grandmother's cooking...
she managed to roast a chicken to
the point of making the ******* have the texture of...
chalk!

i'm a mangled sort of creature...
i remember all the months of the year in Ing-Leash...
january, febuary, march, april, may, june
july, august, september, october, november... december...
but i can't remember them in my native tongue...
styczeń, luty, marzec, kwiecien, maj...
i forget june... czerwiec... listopad... grudzień...

i'm pretty sure you could usurp some of the diacritical
"constipation"...
akin to Kwiecień....
you could write it so... while decapitating the iota...
i.e. Kwiećιeń: kwit... cień...
a blooming of a shadow...
flower... kwiat... cień. vs. ćιeń: shadow...

the month of the blooming of shadows...
there are hardly any surds in western Slavic...
let me reiterate... there are no surds
like there are surds in Ing-Leash...
gnome whereby... the apostrophe ought to be
better employed!
'nome for gnome... it's not even that
"too" many words in Ing-Leash
sound the same but are spelled differently...

ich bsitzen die nacht!
as much as i abhor the Hindu percusion
of reincarnation:
come again? there are only a fixed number
of original souls in this project...
the rest are...sleeping souls...
let be abuse that a little...
if there's any genuine reincarnation...
to have taken place...
then i am... Konrad van Wallenrode...
hey presto!
there are only  a limited amount of souls
to b shared the reincarnated... humanoids...
the rest are... ******* zombies?!
o.k. fair enough... Hindu glue...
gi ahead... the rest are zombies...
******* curry retards...
          sure... i'm also a reincasrnation...
i'm a reincarnation of Konrad von Wallenrode,
how's that?!

i'm 6ft2 not 189cm
98kg not... however much stones and pebbles
that is...
i live among these IngLeash people
i look at the coming children...
two women walking a child buggie
spot me... sweating all over my stomach...
the one walking the buggie probably has a hubby...
trips up into a poker face...
her fwend... looks at me and says... WOW...
the **** is this current *******: "wow"?!
i own a bicycle i don't own a car...
i wish i owned a horse?!

i like exercise more than ****** because...
i get to exercise more than i get to ******?!
perhaps i ****** in a way that makes me scout
for pornographic actresses that
like to **** it off while looking into the
"Dajjal"...
                i like those.... there's a lyric about them:
i can **** it smile...
democracy: knock knock...

personally... it sounds like a terrible idea
to have children...
as much as i'd love to...
no... not really... not from what's coming from
the pop culture narrative...
personally... i wouldn't want to... my genes...
m'ah...  put through...
the currency of the current *******...
    i don't... want... to... put... my genes...
through... the argumentations of...
IDIOTS!
to reproduce in order to diminish IQ?!
*******! i'm out!
i'm done... forget this *******!
idiots & their ruling class!

i'm happy to leave this earth to the copper skinned
and the African blessed...
look ast me... there will always be people
readily to come...
i have to make an impetus usually associated
with the argument that claims:
it claims! i must! i must!
no... thankfully i don't!
i have to celebrate individualism...
don't i?!

i have lost what Darwinism was originally
supposed to arm me with...
that's what happens...
societies that propaganda Darwinism to
such an extent as it must be sold...
how is Darwinism equivalent to
the Copernican... blah...
      i don't even think it's project vanity
to flee into... as counter... argument...

from the ancient times: **** similis could
be extracted from **** spiens...
"****": the similitude of ape to man
and vice versa was known to ancient Romans!

nacht(s) ist nicht(s):
gott! mit! uns!
         mien ich! ja: mein kommandant...
alles, dies... braucht zu brennen...
ich liebe du...
       aber... aber...
             ich-du... du-du...
            ich wollen
töten wie du ar lieben!
   i love German...
the worst sort of German i speak... write..
the better it resounds...
it always makes me being clued in...
on the offensive against the Russians!
but i also abhor the Anglicans.
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
Though night and day cover the same earth,
Their worlds are far unrelated;
Yes, the two portals of time
I know have skies the same,
But what one attracts
The other scares away.

Having lived a campus-student life,
Later departing to seek rest,
I was attracted to Scarborough’s halls
When darkness would ink the above
And when the daytime student traffic
Minimized, which freed space hard to claim
With the sun exposed.

Rays of LED lights flash
On the library’s main outside portico,
Students’ shoulders magnetized to the foundational pillars,
Bodies slanted, neutral-faced and minds set for commuting home.

Perfect!  Though other peers plan according to the daily rush,
I know there will be a chair for me and a platform to stack my books
Inside the library.
I neck my head heavenward
As I ascend the split-foyer stairs,
Seeing if others descend so as not to run over or be run over.

The second-floor is a puzzle,
A maze of paths edging the perimeter,
The space columned with light-brown shelves of books.
Let’s see: Study room?  Taken.
A free table along the main communal hall of the second floor?
Eh, I feel watched there.
Aha!  A fine venue!
A single-person desk, an attached light,
Room on the desk for layering my backpack’s own library,
And side wooden indentations to conceal my peripheral vision.
I never would have expected to lust for nightly library moments,
But I believe, now, that my visits were past due.
During my three semesters in higher-education, the library would be my default locale.

— The End —