Yeah guys, just back from the doctor’s
Turns out he’s worked at Apple
and Samsung and such –
he’s really into technology and all that,
you know
the latest stuff, really
“The heart,” he pronounced,
“is really a technology”

anyway, he’s given me
a pacemaker for me heart
and the doc, he said also
it’s state-of-the-art technology
so I can also download apps for my liver,
kidneys and my bowels
if needs be
yeah, I really feel good
inside out and all the way down

Those coffee heads
better than
Couch Potato 2 B
wed
One bad chip 3 2 C
Walking dead

Dream chocolate,
Coffee Latte
On the web late
The fourth cup
He knows all the 5 lips
On Live five sips
Her ruffles he's the
fidget spinner whip cream
Sprayed 6 times
Drinking her coffee over the
Brooklyn bridges 7 wishes
Coffee is for brainers
8 sides of the coffee moon


Swinging  Perculator
Streaming all over Adolf
dictator

Like a monkey ***
in cages
High overflowed wages
The pub pix pom girls
Tom like  apud
Coffee like mud with Tod
Eeeee He
  Coffee of God
Two pals I pad


Steaming out mouth
like a hot rod
She is sipping and he is
mouth roaring

Wiped you out
wicker -chair
You mind erased like the
terminator game pair

"I will be back"

Coffee or me__?
That calculator's fingers
Fine pressed coffee
Stirring the Dagar
Superbowl  maneaters
The women coffee lovers
They need another cup

Stocking up Christmas
chimes  ringing
The cafe Jazz chimes

Pazzazz--

6 cups
All gone Girl
666
Not a drop of coffee
Summoned by a spell

Went razzamatazz

The third eye
1-2-3 pouring
The coffee sounds like its
forever snoring 4-5-6

I need a new coffee maker
Lucky 7*
Rock and roll coffee of fame
Tootsie roll truffles

Going Whoopee

Do some French presses or
Roman Cappuccino style
dresses 14 he and he
The Keurig more hugs
She and me

Sugar trail of blackmail
Single served deserved
Party multi-cup you spilled
her beans

Easter feels jumpy
College stud or wimpy
"Humpty Dumpty"
Jitterbugs
Presidential jelly beans
Hot male mugs
Coffee beans

the mountain you can not
top her flavors
He's the hot diver
I will wait to wake him

He fits the"Ferocious Falcon'
Hey pork and beans
The wrong beans stir
Alice, I will fly you too
the moon
They have better coffee
Jackie Gleason
looks worried

He's cupping away from
the lagoon never on a
Sunday to be married

Bring the coffee truly
love flavor
website
streaming
He's the
hothead the chimes
beaming
The boiling bold brave
How it intensified
The heart melting
microwave lucifer

Please wave Sir
The bubbling brew
Chimes R streaming
But Robin's coffee
is steaming classified
What's to be justified

His pacemaker,
she did a whole
new makeover went
snorkeling what the heck
Ringing his neck
The multi-cup  she is
seated
He's the single cup
every morning
Chimes and coffee never boring


Swish swatch stir and spoon
He was born like streaming ***
way too soon

Sunflower,
Don't Die From My Soul,
Sunlight Still Lurks In My Veins,
Imagination Quenches Your Thirst,
Though Your Roots Are Exposed,
I Kiss Every Petal,
To Keep You Alive

Rose,
Don't Die,
You Are The Passion In My Garden Of Me,
Don't Let The Frost Over Take You,
Snowflakes Dance Around You,
Enjoy The Cold

Sunflower,
Oh Sunflower,
It's Always Summer In My Garden,
Let The Showers Of Enlightenment,
Keep Your Petals Smooth And Age Free

*Rose,
Oh Rose,
Rose With Green Eyes,
Stay Strong,
Don't Let The Weeds Overtake You,
You Are Beautiful,
You Are The Pacemaker,
To Anyone Without A Heart,
If You Fail To Survive,
So Will I

Lover,
You are not the heartbeat.
I am the heartbeat.
I have to, don't you see?
I'd like for you to be just
Glorious!
Bursting through my blood.
But you at best,
a pacemaker.
You shock me now and then again.
This is how I know you to be a lover
and sadly not,
my love.

these demons they haunting me,
they ******* won't stop bugging me,
they screaming in my ear, 'do it now'.
won't leave me alone, won't leave me alone,
why won't everyone just leave me the **** alone?

****, what am I saying? Am I ******* stupid?
I don't wanna be alone, this loneliness drives me mad,
but I push them away, pushing people away,
cause why? Cause I'm angry, cause I'm mad?
What the **** does it matter, why do I care?
Why am I this way, so weird and insecure?
When I look in that mirror, and I see that
face looking back at me, I just want to *******
grab it and slit its ******* throat.
Why am I so ugly? I don't ******* know.

these demons they haunting me,
they keep on stalking me, day and night,
they keep on leading me astray, oh,
won't I ever find my way back to where I was.
They won't let me alone, can't you feel my plight?
why do they do these things to me, why won't
they just leave me alone?

Demons, are they real, the **** should I know?
they may just be something sick like my head,
something dark and twisted brought to life,
by these worries and these fears that I made up my mind.
whether they be real or just ******* fake,
I know they make me wanna curl up and die.

these demons they haunting me,
in my dreams, they stopping me,
won't let me be, won't leave me alone,
won't let me be the person I know I can be,
won't let me be free to be what I know I can be.

And when I set my mind to racing,
I can feel my arteries thumping, and my heart pacing.
I'm gonna need a ******* pacemaker, at this rate,
cause all these fears and these worries going to build,
and one of these days, I'm gonna ******* blow,
all over everything and everyone, and y'all
be left to pick up the pieces of my broken soul.

these demons they haunting me,
I can hear those ******* laughing now,
at me and my self-conscious bull-****,
knowing that all this is just another ego-stroke
as I feel sorry for myself and wait to be comforted
by those people that want to call me their friends,
but really, I just seem them as means to ends.

Call me corrupt, or just call me a ****,
but I know that machiavellian ****,
my means are always justified by my ends,
know that I'm always right, even when I know
that I'm wrong, I keep on fighting like it's a war,
and I'm the ******* 5-star general,
that earth-rattling, world shaker who
the universe rightly revolves around
I ain't no Prince, I'm the ******* King!

these demons they haunting me,
they egging me on, telling me I'm right,
even when I'm wronger than wrong.
I know it's wrong, but it feels so good,
and I can't find it in me to argue
when the promise of righteousness feels so good.

And so I keep on playing the game,
arguing and fighting over petty ****,
desperate to prove my point like it matters,
feeling that high when I prove someone wrong,
it fills me, it thrills me, it's like a spine-chiller.
It's a ******* drug and you, the dealer,
but the way I'm feeling, like a high-wheeler.
I won't complain or say things should be different.

these demons they haunting me,
I can hear their ***** singing along,
I can hear their voices ringing real soft,
it sounds so sweet, but I got this feeling
deep down that maybe it ain't as good
as it sounds and there's something deeper lurking.

All it takes is one word alone, and I'm
shattered like broken glass, like I just got
put out on my fat ***. Cause I know I'm
fat and ******* ugly, you don't got to remind me,
mirror, I'd rather hide the truth.
And just like that the circle is running again,
like it's done time and time again.
A cycle of loathing, then a cycle of loving,
then a cycle of loathing, a cycle of loving.

these demons they haunting me,
not even caring that I'm onto them,
and those games they play, they just
keep on grinning, keep on sinning,
these jackals, they wanna bleed me dry,
they wanna consume, wanna swallow my soul,
like an anaconda, they wanna swallow me whole
why won't they just leave me alone,
so I can find some kind of inner peace?

Instead I just keep on rolling on that
hill like I was Sisyphus, and my ego's
the boulder, and every time I push it up,
I know it's gonna come down even stronger
It's like I gotta just deal with the fact
that when I'm happy, the sadness'll
strike about 10 times harder than it ought to,
like it was giving me a special '*******'.

these demons they haunting me,
I think they ******* hate me, but
who can really blame them? I hate
me too, and the ******* I can be,
the ******* I can be, the ***** I can be
when I let my jealousy get the best of me,
treating my friends like they out to get me,
Sometimes when I think back on how I act,
I just want to kick my own *** just to teach
me a lesson.

I try to be good, and decent, and think good,
and think decent, but I can't find it in me
to feel that heart beat-beating for me,
I just look in the mirror and I hate what I see,
I hate what's there, and knowing I'm stuck where I am.
Why I gotta be me? Why can't I be you, or someone
new or someone better? Or just a person who I know
is better than me? Smarter than me, nicer than me?
Kinder than me, prettier than me?
Why I gotta be stuck in this ugly *** ******* shell?

these demons they haunting me,
they taunting me like *******,
I don't know if it's in my head,
my mind playing those tricks on me,
or if they're really there to steal my soul,
but I know they keep tripping me either way,
I think I hate them more than I hate me,
and that's something to be said since I despise me.
They test me, they trick me, they want to end me,
and all I want is for them to get off my throne.
My throne of **** and wallowed pride, that's all mine,
for better or worse, I still want to claim it as mine.
Everyone keeps on testing me lately, human contact,
and I just want to be left the **** alone.
Can't everyone just leave me the **** alone?

Demons, who the hell am I kidding?
Satan himself knows I'm full of ****,
I'm just using them as an excuse to justify,
the kind of guy I am deep down, and to victimize
myself so I can throw out a line for sympathy,
and get that ego-stroke needed to get back in line,
and start that same wicked cycle back again,
hell, that's what all this is, just another me whining,
and complaining before I get high on me again,
at least that's what I say to myself to feel like I win

The peacemaker turned the pacemaker of heart...

you washed the salt out of my eyes
you stomped your feet, refused goodbyes
you burned my books when I tried to write
and set up traps to catch me in the night

I followed your steps up to the cliff
and tried to recall how it felt to live
before this cage of you that I elated
when this infinity could not be sated

So many steps seen from where I stood
so much bad diminished so much good
and those lies were always easier to tell
before that mention of where he fell

A push that was but kinetic emotion
who cried the tears, formed the ocean?
Your own were dried long before this last
and your steps have penned me in the past.

A proposal I lay before you and with an earnest smile
I propose to you (yes you, my dear)
That you spend three days in my care
For three days will be enough for you
To decide your time with me

The first day will be bliss unending
For you have only known me for a few months
As we unravel a masterpiece of cherished things
Bathed in sweetness you’ve only dreamed
We shall tour the world (online)
We shall eat culinary wonders (from some store around the corner)
Straight out of my fancy china and silverware, no less
The luxury of life will hide nothing from us
And at night, I will caress your every pain (and pleasure, if I may be so bold)
Put my (newly acquired) masseuse skills to the test
And ease your worries until you drift to sleep (or agony)
All in my warm and loving (-ly sore) arms
(until they start to lose their feeling, in which I will promptly wake you)  

The second day will be a casual life
In which you will have known me for a decade
You will be comfortable in my pajamas’ warmth
(Let’s be honest, you look better in them anyway)
We will share a cup of sweet tea, direct from my lips to yours
(after it’s cooled, of course, scolded tongues make no romance)
Lay on the couch for hours as we talk about nothing (because nothing is on)
And when we can rest no more, we will wander the outside world
To rediscover the things we knew all over again, holding hands
After we’ve made our findings, we’ll return to the comforts of our walls
I will prepare a meal (that I’ve frozen) from the best recipe site I can find
Then we will sit in front of the tube again like couch potatoes
And watch a movie, cuddled together until we fall asleep on each other
(Popcorn, blankets, drinks, the works- all within reach, my dear)

The third day will test you and your limits
As we have been together for a half-century, a year, and then some
The days have taken their toll as our bodies fluctuate more
Our contact brief as we become recluses even to ourselves
And even the days in which you renew your love become woeful
A trivial, typical, and tiresome feat, if I could muster more effort
But I am now a former shell of the one you’ve met long ago
Tempting you to flee for another, younger fling to test time by
And if you go to chase the dreams and aspirations I held you back from
I will wait, composed as I decompose, ever slowly with nothing more
But my ring, my pride, and my heart containing with nothing but you
(and the tubes from the pacemaker, but if Iron Man could do it…)

So I ask you this once my dear (maybe twice if you didn’t hear me the first time)
Will you take me up on my proposal or shall I sleep forever knowing
That I could never obtain someone so precious to me in this lifetime?

© 2014

Love Sonnet
This afternoon at the local grocer I had bought a bottle of beer
and a tin of tuna fish and I meet the daughter of the woman
I had been in love with, I had never seen her before and said
halloo like she knew me and she was as lovely as her mother
was. Her mother came and I said something flattering, they both
smiled knowingly, you can't fool a woman about love. I'm sure
her mother had told her daughter of my trips to the post office
where she worked t the time. And they have been laughing, not of
derision, but by my inability to express my love openly.

I'm telling this because when I came from hospital in December
after collapsing and had been given a pacemaker and the onset of
the shingles I was in despair both physically and mentally and
I said if I had died I would have no knowledge about this tristesse
My wife cried and I promised not to speak thus again and I would
not met the daughter of the woman I loved

Girls have beautiful legs and men have beautiful hearts,
both I love to squeeze, both I love to open
hide my gold locket inside like a ticking bomb:
I use the chain to lasso arteries and muscles for me to chew on
but the necklace unbolts for a souvenir collected inside.

It could be the curly hair of his shin, one wisp from her neck
I previously tugged on with my teeth. I performed
open-heart surgery on a man and open-leg surgery on a woman
both called me back to say a second goodbye
and I wonder, I wonder which farewell will be the final.

When will the mementos be massacred
glued to a comatose form, deceased into an emotionless resin?
I could amputate their limbs and turn off the pacemaker.

Suno,
Ek baat bolu ,
Na toh tum mere Dil **,
Aur na hi Dil ki dhadkan,
Tum toh mere PACEMAKER **!

The clown doctor gave lolly-pops to children.
The circus sergeant tames white tigers with red steaks.
The small professors pacemaker shout little words.
The unchanged man sit medicated empty of stock.
The heros drown in gun-power river radiation.
The operation of the new world, looks so divided.

This city breathes the blues
buried just under the skin
in the memory of cleaners
and slaughter

Here the gospel travels
from mouth to heart
and it offers comfort
as by-catch of the bottle

The center as a pacemaker
in an old and worn out body
is waiting for the final lines
from a song by Muddy Waters

"You ain't gonna trouble
poor me, anymore "

You cannot just give up religion for lent,
and expect no consequences.
I am in every moment you discard.

You run on insistent consistency,
analytical calculations,
scraps of math equations
pieced together to
form your
functioning

But, you cannot rationalize away my
emotions.
My heart and my affection.
You cannot compartmentalize me,
shave off my soft curved edges
with a butter knife to fit the
labeled angular box you have created for yourself.
I still count even if you’re
making things even.

But I understand,
sometimes my hugs last 3
seconds too long.

--

Luke,
There is no picture
on a box to tell you what you’re
supposed to look like
when all this is over.

You might have built yourself,
but I was born.
I am more than a body.
I am your past,
your perspective
your platelets
your pacemaker
I will never truly
leave.

It takes 3 minutes for you to lose consciousness by lack of oxygen
This is suffocating
Your brain begins to fire neurons off into the maze of your body
telling it secrets that will forever be held on its tongue

Brain death occurs after 6 minutes
This is the cessation of all brain function
This is death by the deprivation of the air you need to go on
However
In any other circumstance where the heart is not deprived of oxygen
it will keep beating for a period of time.

this was me when you left
I went brain dead
My heart continues to beat of its' own accord
the pacemaker is set to pump my blood
but my lungs crept up and out of my throat
this was my suffocation
not by hanging, not by smothering

It takes 5 minutes for brain cells to start dying at a slow dance of a pace
This is asphyxiation
Consciousness will be lost within 2 minutes
like falling into a deep sleep, peaceful and then all at once

Asphyxiation is the build up of a substance such as carbon dioxide in the body that interferes with the oxygenation of your organs
This death is timely
The car running in the garage or the bag slipped over a head
This death takes 20 minutes

our love was a metaphor of this,
a slow dance into despair
the outcome was the same either way
but it seemed like you picked the method with the flip of a coin
it was lengthy,
it was beautiful,
but it was also devastating.

These long winter roads I roam.
Back and fourth searching for warmth
Sunset, orange, passion fruit, sugar.
The sky lights up baby blue and mango
As brightness hides.
The cold pinches my cheeks and soaks through my skinny jeans.
As the frozen air bites my lungs, cigarette smoke has never tasted sweeter.

The grass CRUNCHes as I walk, frozen, semi-permafrost tundra.
Frozen pumpkins on every porch,
Cobwebs and skeletons still hanging from gutters.
As I fumble for my keys with frostbitten hands, hard candy has never tasted sweeter.

It's black.
The frost on the ground reflects my headlights.
I'm carried by the flying creatures in my abdomen as I step out of my car.
Weightlessly and anxiously I walk on the styrofoam grass.
Concrete more solid and gray than any other day,
I'm standing on your porch.
My tight, constricted, dry winter skin almost splits my knuckles as I knock and I laugh because I hear you coming to answer and I know I should have used the doorbell.
I'm greeted with thunderously chilled eyes and a fox smile.
My pacemaker gives out and time seems to freeze.
Time returns again when I feel your arms around my neck,
Pulling my corpse inside, warm air has never tasted sweeter.

You sit me down, bring me a hot drink.
I sip and burn myself.
I laugh again, a booming laugh. I almost fall off the couch, why am I so happy.
I'm able to right myself back up, I didn't spill anything fortunately.
I look at you and my pacemaker gives out again.
I need to get this thing checked.
You come over to me, sit on my lap,
Whisper a sweet nothing in my ear, and as my hairs begin to stand from the crispness in your voice, you kiss me.
In this life, lips have never tasted sweeter.

**You
Taste
Sweeter.

—For Tom Surdam

Town's quiet—
aside from the timid
waltz of a porch-swing
wind chime and the backyard cricket
kingdoms. I passed the funeral
apartments, the static cat,
and the bar stool where my uncle
wore his soul sore on steel strings
in a wooden shot glass.
He was a good man, a cigarette
saint with a pacemaker scab. A tavern
sweetheart with a memory made
of drink chips and Marlboro foil.

I saw an asphalt toad on the bridge
bathing in the ghost glint of the only
stop light in town beside another
that was smeared like house paint
just inches from the storm drain,
from home.

I don't miss you, but I don't sleep with the covers tucked in anymore. I started changing the sheets more often and I'm doing okay, but I'll never flip my pillow the way you did.

I don't miss you, but I leave crumpled wet towels on the floor now. I bought a new one specifically for my hair when it has just been dyed, it's plain black. I hope your blue towel is stained pink forever.

I don't miss you, but I haven't watched the sunset for the last two weeks. I've started watching the sunrise instead. I'm tired of endings. I'm still doing okay.

I don't miss you, but every time I write about you my heart races and everything turns into darkness. My doctor would probably suggest a pacemaker. I suggest another drink.

I don't miss you, but I had to block your number to stop myself crawling back. I still remember it better than my own.

I don't miss you, but maybe I'm lying to myself.

I don't miss you, but I hope you miss me.

I don't miss you, but maybe I should.

You know if you tried to describe life
The last few hours
You wouldn't possible be able to describe went on

Well I went to the driving range
Then went for a walk at my old college
Then drove home

So much happened in that period

I hit it well
7 irons, wedges, hybrids, drivers
Behind, down and out to the target
Making that just short of 3/4 swing now
For accuracy
One must be accurate in golf

Sultans of swing was playing in the background
A guy hit on a different part of the range hit a ball
And it hit this metal bin
And the ball rolled right up to where I was hitting
Sweet an extra ball for me to hit now (lol)

I saw the older gentleman at the range
Who always works there
I hope he is well
He goes through the motions
Watering the plants
Puts the ***** into the machine
I see him hanging out with some of his friends there sometimes

So then I went into the car and turned on the radio
I arrived at my old campus just a 2 minute drive directly to the south
I had a great time walking around campus

I had my back brace  
My knee braces
Yes, one should brace oneself

I turned on Kashmir
By Led Zeppelin
As I walked through the parking lot

And its strange you know
I felt like I was walking on air

It really is a world of wonderful happenings
And its me
Its me that has to bring the joy
The love to all sentient beings
I must bring the love
I thought about that

I made my way to the library
Where I read an article
In Scientific American
About a pacemaker that contains a gear
That is used in a wristwatch
That is powered by the heartbeat

I saw a pretty woman
And thought it must be nice to have a friend to talk to
Bleh
She would just be bothered if I went up to her

I walked around campus
This one girl was shocked to see a raccoon

I saw three of them once
All feeding from a trash bag
I took pictures

Then I walked to my car
And drove off listening to U2

From one time
To the next
The emptiness remains

Dream world

Row row row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream

She came in my life after millions of
Prays to god
Her unique face is not lesser than a pacemaker for a heart patient
She enlights me in my every hard hour  
Such sisters ❤️♥️💗💚
Are true well wisher provided by God
I thank you God very much for this most precious gift
I will always be great full towards you ❤️💙❤️❤️💙💕❣️

IF you haven't my  read, my poetic  voice,for quite some time,its only because, on January 3rd, on a Germaintown street, I blacked out,fell  down ,and on the sidewalk hurt,my head,somebody passing by,called 911, when being put, into the ambulance on the way,to Chesthill Hospital,I was awake, long enough, to tell the ambulance driver my medical history, and who to call, each loved one,close to me,I  put in room,570A, propped up, in a bed,with bars on either side, that went up or down, and  as the Iv, dripped into,my right vein,while lying on,my back,I thank the Lord, that I was still, alive, and here,above, the ground,the cardiogist, thought, that I would need,a pacemaker,but on the treadmill, as I walked for seven full,minutes, even he,was amazed, and I'm  grateful ,that I came home,on JANUARY 6th,and now am writing, and sharing this very,poem, because I could,have been down, deep, on the other side,of life, in a newly dug fresh grave.

Every poet has a beginning
Every river begins somewhere,

Like every story, or poem,

I ever wrote, behind the door of fearfulness

I had to let go the uneasiness of entrapment that

******* my wellbeing.

The world is so crazy right now,

Even with all what mother nature dash out

As humans' beings we, still hang on strong,  

Every poet or poetess has a beginning

Every river begins somewhere,

“ I just love when she belts out

“You know my Name!

That songstress can sing,

She was one of the poets whom  

Was able to get from behind the door of darkness

And sang her heart out to the world.

She has a relationship with her music

I have a feud with my poems,

I see the world in a different light every day

*“I know people can be judgmental and difficult. But if you shut yourself away from the world, you'll never see how beautiful it really is.”
― Imania Margrie, The Pacemaker *

Take some time away from your job

And stay behind close door

Do you notice how you feel?

Away from that environment  

For me its peace, the freedom

And control of oneself

Every poet has a beginning

Every river begins somewhere,

A life Time
How long is a lifetime it cannot be measured in years
my brother died young yet left behind five children
and I was born a weakling – he will never grow old
doctors said- weak heart and pacemaker, I’m kept alive
by modern medical science and have lived to get old.
I know the end can strike anytime anywhere, but I will
not think about it. However, long my life time it has been
short as I leave nothing behind to be remembered for.
“As my father said”, a made up lie, no one will have to
make up stories about me