i dreamed a rattlesnake was loose in the closet i heard it rattling i was afraid to open the door



a man suffering a toothache goes to see his dentist the dentist administers laughing gas when the man comes to his numb tongue swooshes around his mouth he asks how long was i under the dentist answers hours i needed to pull them all out



he imagines when he grows old there will be a pencil grown into one hand and a paintbrush grown into the other they will look like extra fingers grown out from the palms extensions of his personal evolution little children will be horrified when they see mommy mommy look at that man’s hands!



what if we are each presented with a complete picture of a puzzle from the very start then as our lives proceed the pieces begin showing up out of context sometimes recognizable other times a mystery some people are smarter more intuitive than others and are able to piece together the bigger picture some people never figure it out



i wasn’t thinking i didn’t know to think nobody taught me to think maybe my teachers tried but i didn’t get it i wasn’t thinking i was running reacting doing whatever i needed to survive when you’re trying to survive you move fast by instinct you don’t think you just act



many children are relieved when their parents die then they no longer need to explain prove themselves live up to their parent’s expectations yet all children need parents to approve foster mentor teach love



she was missing especially when her children needed her most she was busy lunching with girlfriends dinner dates beauty shop manicure masseuse appointments shopping seamstress fittings constant telephone gossiping criticizing she was too busy to notice she was missing more than anything she wanted to party show off her beauty to be the adored one the hostess with the mostest



i dreamed i was condemned to die by guillotine the executioner wore black and wielded an axe just in case the device failed in the dream the guillotine sliced shallow then the executioner went to work but he kept chopping unsuccessfully severing my head this went on for a long time



1954 Max Schwartzpilgrim sits at table in coffee shop on 5th floor of Maller’s Building elevated train loudly passes as he glances out window it is typical gloomy gray Chicago day he worries how he will find the money to pay off all his mounting debts he is over his head in debit thinks about taking out a hefty life insurance policy then cleverly killing himself but he cherishes his lovely wife Jenny his young children and social life sitting across table Ernie Cohen cracks crass joke Max laughs politely yet is in no mood to encourage his fingers work nervously mutely drumming on Formica table then stubbing out cigarette in glass ashtray lighting another with gold Dunhill lighter bitter tastes of coffee and cigarettes turns his stomach sour he raises his hand calling over Millie the waitress he flirtatiously smiles orders bowl of matzo ball soup with extra matzo ball Ernie says you can’t have enough big ***** for this world Max thinks about his son Odysseus



when Odysseus is very young Dad occasionally brings him to Schwartzpilgrim’s Jewelers Store on Saturday mornings Dad shows off his firstborn son like a prize possession lifting Odysseus in the air Dad takes him to golf range golf is not an interest for Odysseus Dad pushes him to learn proper swing Odysseus fumbles golf club and ***** he loves going anyway because he appreciates spending time with Dad once Dad and Odysseus take shower together Dad is so life-size muscular hairy Odysseus is so little Dad reaches touches Odysseus’s ******* feeling lone ******* Dad says we’ll correct that make it right Odysseus does not understand what Dad is talking about at finish Dad turns up cold water and shields Odysseus with his body he watches Dad dressing in mornings Dad is persnickety to last details of French cuff links silk handkerchief in breast pocket even Dad’s fingernails toenails are manicured buffed shiny clear



Odysseus’s left ******* does not descend into his ******* the adults in extended family routinely want to inspect the abnormality Mom shows them sometimes Dad grows agitated and leaves room it is embarrassing for Odysseus Daddy Lou’s brother Uncle Maury wants to check it out too often like he thinks he is a doctor Uncle Maury is an optometrist the pediatrician theorizes the tangled ******* is possibly the result of a hormone fertility drug Mom took to get pregnant the doctor injects Odysseus with a hormone shot then prescribes several medications to induce the ****** to drop nothing works eventually an inguinal hernia is diagnosed around the age of 9 Odysseus is operated on for a hernia and the ******* surgically moved down into his ******* the doctor says ******* is dead warning of propensity to cancer later in life his left ball is smaller than his right but it is more sensitive and needy he does not understand what the doctor means by “dead” Odysseus fears he will be made fun of he is self-conscious in locker room he does not comprehend for the rest of his life he will carry a diminutive *****



spokin alloud by readar in caulkknee axescent ello we’re Biggie an Smally tha 2 testicles whoooh liv in tha ******* of this felloh Odys Biggie is the soyze of a elthy chicken aegg and Smally is the size of a modest Bing cheery



one breast ****** points northeast the other smaller breast ****** points southwest she is frightened to reveal them to any man frightened to be exposed in woman’s locker room she is the most beautiful girl/woman he will ever know



Bayli Moutray is French/Irish 5’8” lean elongated with bowed legs knobby knees runner’s calves slim hips boy’s shoulders sleepy blue eyes light brown hair a barely discernable freckled birthmark on back of neck and small unequal ******* with puffy ******* pointing in different directions Laura an ex-girlfriend of Odysseus’s describes Bayli’s appearance as “a gangly bird screeching to be fed” Laura can be mean Odysseus thinks Bayli is the coolest girl in the world he is genuinely in love with her they have been sleeping together for nearly a year it is March 11 1974 Bayli’s birthday she turns 22 today Bayli is away with her family in Southeast Asia Odysseus understands what a great opportunity this is for her to learn about another culture he knows Bayli plans to meet up again with him in late summer or autumn in Chicago Dad wants Odysseus to follow in his footsteps and become a successful jewelry salesman he offers Odysseus a well-paying job driving leased Camaro across the Midwest servicing Dad’s established costume jewelry accounts Odysseus reasons it is a chance to squirrel away some cash until Bayli returns it is lonely on the road and awkward adjustment to be back in Chicago Odysseus made other plans after graduating from Hartford Art School he is going to be an important painter after numerous months and many Midwestern cities he begins to feel depressed he questions how Bayli can stay away for so long when he needs her so bad the Moutray’s send Mom and Dad a gift of elegant pewter candleholders made in Indonesia Mom accustomed to silver and gold excludes pewter to be put on display she instructs Teresa to place the candleholders away in a cabinet Mom also neglects to write a thank you note which is quite out of character for Mom Bayli’s father is a Navy Captain in the Pacific he is summoned to Norfolk Naval Station in Virginia the Moutray’s flight has a stopover in Chicago Bayli writes her parents want to meet Odysseus and his family Odysseus asks Dad to arrange his traveling itinerary around the Moutray’s visit Dad schedules Odysseus to service the Detroit and Michigan territory against Odysseus’s pleas Odysseus is living with his sister Penelope on Briar Street it is the only address Bayli’s parents know Odysseus has no way to reach them when the Moutray’s arrive at the door Penelope does not know what to tell them Mom and Dad are not interested in meeting Bayli’s parents it is not the first sign of dissatisfaction or disinterest Mom and Dad convey regarding Bayli Odysseus does not understand why his parents do not like her is it because Bayli is not Jewish is that the sole reason Mom and Dad do not approve of her Odysseus believes he needs his parent’s support he knows he is not like them and will likely never adopt their standards yet he values their consent they are his parents and he honors Mom and Dad let’s take a step back for a moment to get a different perspective a more serious matter is Odysseus’s financial dependency on his parents does a commitment to Bayli threaten the sheltered world his parent’s provide him is it merely money binding him to them why else is he so powerless to his parent’s control outwardly he appears a wild child yet inwardly he is somewhat timid is he cowardly is he unsure of Bayli’s strength and sustainability is that why he let’s Bayli go whatever the reason Dad’s and Mom’s pressure and influence are strong enough to sway his judgment he goes along with their authority losing Bayli is the greatest mistake of Odysseus’s life



he dreams Bayli and he are at a Bob Dylan concert they are hidden in the back of the theater in a dark hall they can hear the band playing Dylan’s voice singing and the echoes of the mesmerized audience Odysseus is ******* Bayli’s body against a wall she is quietly moaning his hand is inside her jeans feeling her wetness rubbing fingers between her legs after the show they hang around an empty lot filled with broken bottles loose bricks they run into Dylan all 3 are laughing and dancing down the sidewalk Dylan is incredibly playful and engaging he says he needs to run an errand not wanting to leave his company Odysseus and Bayli follow along they arrive at an old hospital building it is dark and dingy inside there is a large room filled with medical beds and water tanks housing unspeakably disfigured people swarming intravenous tubes attach the patients to oxygen equipment feed bags and monitoring machines Dylan moves between each victim like a compassionate ambassador Odysseus is freaking out the infirmary is too horrible to imagine he shields his eyes wanders away losing Bayli searching running frantically for a way out he wakes shivering and sweating the pillow is wet sheets twisted he gets up from the bed stares out window into the dark night he wonders where he lost Bayli



these winds of change let them come sailor home from sea hunter home from hill he who can create the worst terror is the greatest warrior

Rivers flow deep from my eyes,
Because today  is the day,
That I finally say my goodbyes,
Today, I let you go.

Your passing was the hardest,
It broke my heart the mostest,
Grandad, you took a piece of me,
The day you  left Nan and me.

I know it was your time,
But you were mine,
You were my best friend,
But tragically that came to an end.

Today I lay you to rest,
Dear grandad, you were the best,
Your final resting place by the sea,
The place you where always meant to be.

2 better days
of better ways
too bigger dreams
in better words
to the express
of my renditions
in wish-less missions
to infringe in fantasy
as i write out the years
of fearless tears
and scream
in happiness
and chant
of the blasphemers
laugh
in the murmurs
of drunken
entrepreneurs
admiring
sewer structures
plucking
the sutures
of my missed maneuvers
clueless
in my bruise-less
cutsss
toofwisss
and still strutting my luck
in abrupt
catastrophes
compliant
to the clause
of impunity
to rhyme-less scrutiny
to sooth the dream
for today
bolstering
the blame
of melancholy messiahs
playing pariah
on xbox
they gonna fry ya
through savvy ****** talk
with their mouth on your ****
but their ears on the block
to fulfill the onslaught
of a distraught
goofball
in lock
about to drop
calm
in happy bombs
of debilitating
shock
you cannot
talk
when you are
smiling
you cannot galk
when you are
smiling
violently
happy
with ******
knives
fixed to enrich
the lives
of the many
i have plenty
in the trunk
just bend down
and look
ill blend in the boom
of bass
thump
ding
the second thump
closes the trunk
strap up
with me
be blunt
don't want
a ninja on the run
in the sun
of reputation
1 finger away
from
nation-less
the mostest patientest
lyrifi$t
a bu3ro$hit
to 0bl1terat3
the glUt3nou$
of thy most muTtonest
of ch0ps
i cropp3d
the plopp1ng rainb0ws
of raindrop$
and Stopped  .
thE hoPped up ho0ligaNnry
of my N1njary
in my socks
sometimes i rock
but mostly not
i wont stop
until outlined
in chalk
until the froth
from my lips
blinds me
in trips
crossed
with a 5th
into thine own
obscurity
from the groan
of maturity
and the **** flapping
of insecurity
i try lyrically
to be free
and stop rhyming
at least stop whining
just trying
to do my thing
dost thou heart not sing
when im plowed
within the silver lining
devout
with a little shining
came hither
to where the sliding turned to slithering
delivering
my ministry
of infantry
infamously
into comedy
applauding me
in my idiocy
its daunting
in simplicity
marinade me
in a massacre
or a major disaster
watch me blow my ***
in haughty claims
of clogged
alpha/beta waves
enslaved
to a pre paid card
and charged
for helping a man up
in a corrupt
city of butts
entrusting
my paychecks to the *****
of never was
im riding the short bus
until she blushed
and brushed
the *** from her mouth
im gross
a little weirder than most
i boast
in defeat
i facebook
over tweet
as if there be a choice
as i crumple
the invoice
and rejoice
in knowing
i know nothing
i'm [Esc@ping]

Not long after the beginning, and a bit before the end, the Almighty said to Noah: “Is that your real name?” “Yeah”, said Noah: “you gave it to me, your ever generousness. I was hoping for something a bit more romantic, maybe even an extra syllable or two, or become all psychedelic and have a hyphen and a double barrel, but Noah is functional. I’m not complaining, a lot. After all what’s in a name? Wouldn’t a cactus be just as uninteresting if it was called something else? Why am I and my not very exciting name so humbly in your almighty and quite tedious presence?” asked Noah. “I’ve had a great idea”, said God: “and I want you with the very boring name to be the first to hear it.” “Can’t wait to hear it your Denseness, even if it is only half as brilliant as the square wheeled chariot and deep-fried ice cube you nearly invented for us last week; and as for the three-armed jacket, well what can I say? Jacob wears his every day and I won’t tell you what he does with it at night, as it involves folk music. And didn’t the Paisley patterned boulder illuminate the landscape?” said Noah “Oh good”, said God: “I do so enjoy it when the minions are attentive to my every word and trembling syllable, What’s the point of being an Almighty if you can’t Almighty it over the lower orders from time to time?” “I couldn’t agree more, your Bampotness. Even if you do appear to be a few slices short of a full loaf on occasions. So, what’s this big idea you’ve had?” said Noah. “I want you to build a boat, the biggest and bestest boat there’s ever been” said God. “Why”, said Noah, “we live in a desert, we don’t do boats; never have done, don’t get a lot of call for them in these parts, your Obliqueness. Ordinarily you’re every utterance is a symphony of sound and beauty to the sticky out bits on the abstract countenance you have so generously created for me, O Guano features. Couldn’t you do another plague of frogs and locusts? We loved those. Your subjects haven’t eaten so well since. Very tasty they were indeed, and so much more nourishing than the daily fare of cactus bark and centipede you dish up to us as we go about our increasingly diminishing mortal trespass. I hope you weren’t baffled by the paradoxical construction of that sentence. One Almighty’s punishment is another lowly minion’s business opportunity. I was running a fast food joint while it lasted. Made a change from the normal feast, where you have to catch your dinner before it catches you. Eat before your eaten that’s the Law ‘round here. It makes you feel more like a recipe than a person on occasions, your Compostness.” “Be that as it may, said God: “I’ve got some drawings which Eve helped me to make” “Eve?”  said Noah: “did you say Eve?” “Yes” said God: “Eve”, that’s what I said, she likes me more than all the rest of you put together and that’s why she’s my favourite” “This will be good” said Noah: “let’s be having it. Let’s see the cosmic blueprint of a less than useless boat that Eve devised” “I helped to devise it as well”, said God: “In fact I done all the pencil sharpening, and here it is.” Noah sniggered and said: “That’s not a boat it’s a camel!” “Brilliant, isn’t it?”, said God: “you’ve got to hand it to Eve; she’s a genius at this kind of stuff, and she says it will make me look jolly clever as well. And that will stop all you ungrateful and wretched minions from smirking and sniggering every time I have a wonderful idea.” “This is even better than the ten commandments, three dos six don’ts and a maybe” said Noah. “My Ten commandments were wonderful” said God: “even Moses said so.” “The only reason you have ten commandments”, said Noah: “is because you have ten fingers. If you had seventeen fingers we would have seventeen commandments; one for each digit. People who use their toes to count their fingers should avoid life’s mathematical complexities. And as for Moses ‘The Born Leader’ he’s a party hack. He’ll agree with anything you say as long as he gets his name on the tablet. He’s publicity mad. When he grows up he wants to chisel the definitive text on cactus attraction, for the benefit of future desert wanderers. Eve says he a bit of a Freudian fruitcake on the quiet, whatever that is. She also says, his mother told him he was adopted, and he’s never quite got over it.” “Why would Moses want to get over a cactus, seems jolly silly to me” said God: “He’s a complete basket case, according to the local grapevine. Never mind all that, let’s see the blueprint.” said Noah: “A wooden camel, only a cosmic idiot could imagine it. If it was a wooden horse it could have been sold to the Trojans, or a wooden cat to the Pharoahs, and I’m told the antipodeans go a bundle on timber budgies, but camels; nobody wants one, not even other camels. How did someone as colossally dense and as infinitely thick as your self acquire the surreallness of thought to imagine it in the first place?” said Noah. “You’re a bright little chappie for a minion”, said God: “Eve told me about the Greeks and their wooden gee-gee and I suggested a boat, then Eve pointed out that this was a desert, and consequently we need a desert boat. ‘One that floats on sand’, I said. ‘Not quite El Plonkero’ she said. Then Eve said we have to adopt and then apply some lateral thinking to the problem. She pointed out that we live in a desert and that we need a boat that sails in the desert. And then I had the mostest cleverest thought I’ve had in ages. We need a ‘desert boat’ I exclaimed. And Eve said I was a true plankton eater. She says the nicest things to me. A ‘ship of the desert,’ she says, ‘and what’s a ship of the desert?’  Quick as a flasher in the rush hour, I said ‘a camel’, and Eve replied that I was quite bright for a log, and that camel plus ship equalled wooden camel to sail away from here to some other paradise she called Hollywood, ‘Land of heavenly bodies and the drop dead gorgeous Brad Pitt.’” “And you believed her?” said Noah. “Of course I believed her”, said God: “she’s Eve and if you can’t believe in Eve what else is there to believe in?” “There’s an answer to that”, said Noah: “but you’d toast me like a heretic on the happy juice if I repeated it, your Doorknobness.”

Was That Love In Yur Eyes I Saw
Or Merely The Reflection Of Mine?
AKA Previous Brokens Were Essentially Only Scratches
aka guess i've given up on my dreams


I met You,
  You were the mostest
    (I met the mostest!!!)
What was I supposed to do
other than Love You?
    forever and then some,
      whatever may come
        (mmm, make You ***)!

I actually believed You Loved me too,
  felt forever future was finally true.
Had i learned nothing from always being me?
  How could You feel a future being with me?
    (Yur future be being with me?)

And as much as i miss Yur kiss
  (where i could happily stay all day),
that's not what i miss most,
  not even close!

Do You know what it is i miss the most?
Do You know what memory i kiss the most?
  GGF?
  BABF?
  The nervous excitement coursing thru Clint
    when time was about to be with You spent?
  Every text, pebble, clown horn, rock n roll ring tone?
  Every time seeing the freeway sign for “our” home?
  Pulling into Yur driveway?
  Walking thru Yur doorway?
  Seeing you?
  (Z-O-E's excited hug
    yeah, i'd do that drug!!!)
  The minutes and/or hours with You?
  Our blue-eyed soul-share-stare?
  Every single second of every miracle minute?
    Yeah, that's it!!!!
      EVERYTHING!!!!

**** here far after the shatter,
none of that will ever again matter.
It's all irrelevant regardless,
  and a lot of useless less.

And despite all the times i re-journey
  the paths & places She showed me,
She ain't there,
  so i'm just nowhere.

Much too much to lose
  how do i choose
    to just play the blues
     & survive this core bruise

Noe mere heart-hurt
  the shriek-leak down my my shirt,
    spirit tears in full-on spurt,
      metaphysical face pushed in the dirt.

Was it so simple sweetie
  to leave me?
Will it be oh so easy
  to forget me?


That 1st night at the fire
(sparks flitting floating flirting higher
   and Yur personality flowed from You)
i was already aching to touch You
  (oh sweet reality
     who hath so often forsaken fooled and ****** me
        please let this be true)

And You knew
  and smiled inside
and were already wondering
  and maybe knowing
    where we were going....

And that nervous spastic excitement,
  that purring calm contentment,
    the breathless rushing rollercoaster,
      making love and then cuddling in nature...
i felt them every single solitary eternal moment!!

(and every time i see You
  or think about You
    that will still always be true)


Did you see her there?
  the ultra rare
    beyond compare
      barely even touched by the air???

My today had never promised more tomorrows
where I would smile and dance
    and nurture Yur joy
And now i've never ****** down such sorrow
  with the bile and lost balance
    of the thrown away toy
Prince of the Fair
  to King of Despair...

You saved me
gave YOU to me
and then left me
  with only me
and lone wolf
  alone wolf
    lonely wolf
      is trapped in rabid agony

You made me think
  let me think
    I had never been worthless
      now i've never been worth less

Listen closely...
  less close to me
    than i've ever been,
      can you say broken....

faded clown
  fallen down
unable to mend??
never to rise again?!

i don't know much of much anymore
  forgot how to care why i'm here for
you could **** me today
  that would be okay
    i'm basically dead anyway

but because of others
i'm not allowed to cross over
**** i HATE life without You
  *** do i do?

guess i'm gonna end up one of those spectres
  the dark abandoned spirits of despair
a glacial stink stain in the ether
  long gone **** unable to move on
locked in yesterday's eternal sorrow
  haunting with hurting forever tomorrow

oh ****
  guess i already am

My Murdered Miracle


so sometimes it seems a miracle may be murdered
  viciously visceral
with the shock
  and the shattering
  and the mangling of the emotions
    (and of course the inability to breathe as your soul is strangled)
      as your future is ****** over the cliff by an evil **** ******
    (and the fall may even be your fault)

yeah, I noe,
  not exactly a ******* surprise
if you've watched the decades of dying in my eyes
  or read my blog anytime after the age of 10
    (****, was that really the first poisoned when)

whatever whenever of forever later
  the sharpest shock
  the shardest shatter
the dank blank dead stare
  dried blood stains  
    un-resuscitated remains
      of what I used to share

my deep blue eyes
  open as wide as emotion allows
are riptide embraced
  into the motions beyond the shallows
    by Yur deep blue eyes
and I see straight into Yur soul
  instantly the fate of my soul
  (ooohhhhh, what I saw
     I had never even dreamed of seeing
       and You were the infinite microwave thaw
         to my forever frozen being)

**** I took the Doves of Love
  (these birds can't fly)
and with selfish enjoyment of every moment
  lagged in my movement
    towards where we were meant to be
giving them an over the cliff shove
  (why why why why why)

She is SHANNON
  SHANNON!!!
the MOST of the MOSTEST i've ever known
the PERFECT in every part and tone
  and She luved me
         SHE LUVed me!!!

I made her move and groove
  smile and giggle
  *** and then ***
    and then some

I learned and grew
  and she knew
I massaged and inspired
  until my tongue was tired
I held her as close as I could do
  and still have our heartbeats be two

**** i believed too much in my belief
  (beware the ides of grief)
failed to fast forward to what she needed
  and ended up behind what she needed!!!!

i met an angel
  and She wanted me...me
i met my angel
  and SHE Loved me...me

maybe you don't understand the historical universal infinite implications of what to you seems to be a simple detail...the coolest chick in the history of the world glowed in luving me (simply the singular most wonderful woman in strength intelligence hotness beauty empathy honesty silly sweet intensity kindness lust for life and ACTUALLY BEING ALIVE)

and i knew what to do. and it was going to give the me i've wanted to be. yo, i noe, **** i was way too slow.   FFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK

every single solitary second
  felt like the first
    excited nervous giggly jiggly
each kiss such a lip lock on joy
  that i missed the fragile of the real
    left with lonely chapped lips which shant heal



...but maybe a similar distant cousin miracle shall be the 2nd Best feeling ever that keeps him alive...

he met his angel
and even if she won't keep kissing him
he still gets to noe her right?
  Right?

You must miss me
  must miss the kiss of me
The break had to make You ache
MISTAKE

I can write now what will still be
years after You've forgotten about me

in the myriad of mirrors in my mind
  Yur diamonds shall be the sole soul shine
every bit as real and raw and radiant as the first moment
they raced and rained and raised their reign within clint

reflections refuse to fade
each an inflection of Yur voice
  a forever of Yur face
   a reminder there ain't never been noe choice

every pissant poignant poet
weaving emotion images with their words
all the cunning linguist lyricists
singing lies and lines they think you've never heard
didn't actually feel any ******* thing
knew not one iota beyond nothing
of life
of love
of living in love

pathetic paintless portraits
(tattoos on a corpse)
empty echoes of nothing notes
(dealt by the deaf and the dead)

but I bet it's not their fault
they probably never felt a real fall
a feather float race up the rapids
with the fluffy grace of rabid rabbits

Not so for this man who be me
my feather has done dancin' shakin' in anti-gravity
I have sung sacred songs as angels swum along
our feather mountain biking heaven-strong

Of course our river was an awesome flow
(a hot-tub raft in moonlit snow)
And Our Poems were always best in show guitar glow
cuz I had You to Noe

yet the Mostest WOW was not enough somehow
the Bestest LOVE of this Life is not alive now

here I am again
a millennium worse than i've ever been
fetal black rose petals
dead dull dried
all their thorns' tears cried

no light left in my once bright blue eyes
dead and drowned and dried out
  cried out
  ashen grey
  nothing evermore to say

Lawrence Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com

          The Mostest Magicalist Familiestest Christmas Ever

She will make this the most magical family Christmas ever
With the perfect tree
The perfect gifts
The perfect table
The perfect meal
The perfect ambience
The perfect decorations

A memory worthy of inclusion in a Hallmark movie
She will make this the most magical family Christmas ever

No matter how many children she reduces to tears for it

Do You Know Crescendo?
If So, What Do You Know?
Will you Tell Me What You've Seen?
Can you Tell Me What It Means?


Hello Mister Man
  doing what you can
Praying for enlightenment
  or perhaps just some excitement
Playing with the magic marbles
  or maybe merely bruised baubles

You've known it all
had it all
yet still sometimes you stall
hesitate to call

blast away from your past
allow yourself a brand new cast
walk talk some suave smoothness
stalk absolute awesomeness

grab the sunrise with your eyes
and stare at the rare glare
grasp the moonrise in your skies
and make it want to make you rise
(and yes I mean between your thighs!)

you're just the whole of your sums
a man whose time has ***!
so ****** what Love you can
catch a match if you can!
find a fondler for your heart
wherever you have to start.

I know memories and nightmares remain
mayhap your soul is scared of its stain
but we all hold those spirits
and it don't help to fear it

best to just watch it and cry
and know you wont know why
then begin to want to win
and start to watch the when!



Do you Know Crescendo?
  Can you Feel the Glow Grow?
Do you Sense the Inspire
  in the Incense Almost on Fire?
Have you Felt the Intense
  From the Moment just Prior?
  


bye bye blue balloon in a bluer sky
whom we watch and all ways wonder why
maybe at the beach where we peer from the pier
or inside memories where emotions rear

people die daily
most matter not to me
and if you tell me true
they're meaningless to you too
(they mean less than little to you too)

and although they have no name
thoughts are just the same
bright and well spoken
turn burnt and broken
the most magical emotional mental dancer
succumbing to age, betrayal or cancer

same as always
gloom zoom
doom bloom
perfume plume
a whom who boom

fabulous fantastic and feverish ******
long ago dichotomies caught me
and it's been so ever since



Do you Know Crescendo?
  Have you Felt Lick BeCum Blow?
Because you need to Know Foreplay
  Before you can Play!
And if you Stay For FivePlay
  THEN You Gone ALL THE WAY!



are you ******' ready to rock?
are you Warp 10 Mr Spock?!
Cuz we're Boldly Going
Where only Crescendo is Knowing!
drum beat sweet
bass in your face
guitar going far
keyboards a sweet sword!

well on the way to wasted
ere the day is even tasted
whatcha gonna do?
what are you going to do?

well, at this minute within infinity,
this minute moment of eternity
all I really want is pizza
mmm, oh yah

And, by the way,
Do You Know Crescendo?
  When the Spun's just Begun
     will you Ride Inside?
When Fast is still Slow
  Breezing towards the Tornado
Will you Float in the Flights
   of Increasing Insights
Until the Spirit that Excites
is Dizzied by the Heights?



Once my guitar was in tune
with the stars and the moon
but a stutter befell my lips
when there did swell an eclipse
And then as if the first dawn
all darkness and doubt was gone!

Sunrise proceeded to Crescendo the skies
soulfire blazing clouds and  kissing my eyes
reaching out from above
  with All We Need Is Love

IT excites marvels and magics me
as much
as it did the first time I felt it
twas instantly so much infinitely more
had I ever even felt before?


That's Noe Crescendo
It's Intellectual Individualism
Emotings Within Emotions
Encircled Within A Warm Wet Circle
And A Beer


You can't just “C'mere” Cashmere
You needs must earn
each and every sideburn
To wear That Hat
You Must Learn Where It's At
Is Your Soul So Full As To Be Soulful?
Does Your Every Move Prove The Groove?
Have You Seen Brian Wilson Smile From A Few Feet Away?
Have You Survived ALL Of The Games Reality May Play?
Do You Want “Tom Petty? and “Wrote A Song With Me”
  to be part of your eulogy?


Do you Get Velvet?
Do You?
I doubt it.
Not yet.
But when the wind wends its way
within the grooves and gusts his guitar may play
Be still
and in the eventual
you will...



Do you know Crescendo?

Can You Relax
  And ******?
Have you ever added a line to a Beer Frenzy?

Have You ever Smelled a Sound
  and Heard as your Head Said
    there's a Lot of Weirdness Goin' Around?


Death drinks deep
   of the dreams you sleep
Dines with blatant assassins
Deigns to act as if he's welcomed in
Drives over the cliff of irony
  and decomposes all of your symphonies.

Life lives in leaps
  of the loves you keep
Lyrics your mostest moments
Listens to all of your “I Meants”
Links all of the lines you've written
  and lingers longingly in every when.

Both spin within the spiral
that is the crux of Crescendo.



Within Crescendo there is some Solo
Some Jimi Sayin' “Hey Joe”
Some Moon & Some Bonzo!

Forever Upon A Time
You Heard THE BEATLES For The First Time
And Instant Complete Understanding Occurred
You Heard
You Heard
Music Mind Body Spirit And Soul
Being The Presence And The Promise Of  Whole
All Is Everything
To Be Is To Always Sing
And as you drank in some Beertles
You Knew Crescendo

If this fog is not the most ominous, beautifulist, dangerlious, and mostest lovliest thing in the world, than I be golly goshed darned for Id happy hurl for not much more than now.

...

somedays i wonder how you're doing without me
wonder if you're still sleeping with your weird orange
pumpkin and pretending it's me pressed up against
your chest,
wonder if you ever look at your phone around midnight
and remember the last time that we talked.
you told me a corny joke, because you always knew i loved them.
you brought the sunshine around at 6am when
my air conditioner was loud enough to muffle our voices
and if someone had pressed their ear against the door
they would've heard us saying
"olive you, olive you more, olive you more than more, olive you most.
olive you mostest toastest."
and that was it.
the last night that we ever talked as lovers,
because the next day you laid your hands against her cheek,
and your fingerprints memorized the outline of her body
and forgot the coldness of mine.
some nights i can still hear the echos
of your ringtone,
i can still feel the ghosts of your kisses send
shivers down my spine.
but i'll be okay, cutiepie.
i'll be just fine.
i'm learning that happiness comes without you,
i'll be alright.

Ruler first or ruled

in the grand
scheme
of things

the inter-e-
stop

interest
interesting times, quants of time,

quants divisible, but

non-un-en-tangle-able as opposed

at tthis moment
with tangibility being the re-
al-it-if-I-can temptation

time is permanently temporary here,
if that's okeh with you, as

peacemakers were learned to say.

Leave us let this be, see we was never taught,
we
was caught, and we learned

I can-tations
I caint-tatations yessir nossir, damnright,
I'm white trash

from way back. Hillbilly Scotts and Fisher man Sicilians.

Outlaws hang from my family tree
with some honor, omerta. doncha know.

My great granddaddy fought in the Lincoln County War,
on the side that won.

Ever last one o' my kin's sons,
I ken re
call

was left with a life t' live after
winning a war.

Then came me,
and I'as left t'live after losing war after war after war

for no reason,

those was unreasonable wars.

We was poor boys made men by God
And the Corp-
us, the embodiment of an esprit d'corp

-- flash (the real kind, where you remember an event
in time re-
lated by the merest of mere threads of
wonder)

what if, you are reading this and its like
reveilatory
re-veily girl wwwuwu
re-unveiling, luring

you

to a true-ly, like true,
(you can't tell the difference, no diff, right? D'Israeli, maybe.
said that, aside)
true
Hell. Imagine that.
You can't.

Searing hot iron truth:
no condemnation here, no more, ever on
this edge,

if
things stay balanced.
Any time, past now, is mortally pre-carrious

im' guessing that means pre-tooth rot,
but, I can check…

I 'as wrong, lookathis:
precarious (adj.)
1640s, a legal word,
"held through the favor of another,"
from Latin precarius 
"obtained by asking or praying,"
from prex (genitive precis)
"entreaty, prayer"
(from PIE root *prek- "to ask, entreat").

Notion of "dependent on the will of another" led to
extended sense "risky, dangerous, uncertain" (1680s).

"No word is more unskillfully used than this with its derivatives.
It is used for uncertain in all its senses;
but it only means uncertain, as dependent on others ..."
[Johnson]. Related: Precariously; precariousness.

From <https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=precarious>

tooth-rot persuasion-wise, I'as right.

Jahnsan, we assume Samuel or some other dangling
Johnson, says *******, who rides me

through the raison patch from time to time
so I can see the angel.

The messenger, the very one, told
the Prophet professed to be that lastest wit' the mostest

but un-propheside of precariousness

this very voice manifest aurally, in the
non-shadow-casting image of a pillar of light,

highbeams on a foggy night,
from far away,
then blam
headlights

the voice it said,
"Read".

Twice. Nada mas. Read. He heard it.
But he could not read, so
highly spiritual
was he --
post allakindaholyshit
to him, alone,
an angel of light, with new good news,
just in time,

write this down,
its
weird.Wait…
Wars could …

They could.
Wait. ( as we have, and may, yet.)
Wait,
I can see what the professed prophet can see.
I did read.
He could not.
Ought he to have taught? Who am
I to judge,

times and times and half a time,
that clock,
did it have an alarm?

chiggety check my flizzow
its me yosef comin back for more war and gore
makin mics sore
once i soar on the mic
turn these hard rhymers into dikes like mike
everybody wanna be like me
six rings n pending put an ending
last second shot ya know ya got got
one eight seven on the cops
cuz ya see death knocks
unexpectedly thats how its supposed to be
wisdom in the streets crooked i
no need to lie
sendin haters to the sky
dt ask.why?
what happened once i tell em
them i stuck em buck buck em
**** em
throw em.up the river
souls quiver when i deliver
rhymes like mail no stamp
or postage kick up the mostest dopest
boys hope yosef is
on a downfall but still i ball
creep n crawl like eazy in the six tre **** what yall gotta say
i got propz from 3rd coast to the LA much luv to the bay
o yea im coming crazier than sling blade
haters get sprayed like raid
to the tombs ya go where body becomes fade and yeaa it don't stopp



uh while you flyin' with witches
im ******' ******* with multiple riches
even ya girl got her pearls tongue wrapped aroubd my hung
dickkkk stickin' yo chick
after i nut in her
i drop her *** like a cheap brick i stick
hoes like i stick my flows
nothing but that raw ****
that hits so hard make even the dead raise from casket
tisket a tasket
i got heads in a basket
crazy insane in the membrane
i told ya ***** im a four time veteran i can dance in the water and not get wet
can ya dig it
i aint talkin friends of distinction
im tryna put mcs into extinction
my rhymes be penchin'
nerves with the verbs that curbs
make reservoirs
at dry spots liver than liverachi
cook up lyrics like a japenese habachi sound the banchees
dont ya know jalel death comes in three
****** you and whole wack rappi. family
yall cant handle me
im slick as rick check the tock to a tick
times running out no doubt
got ya sweatin' as the water tricklin'
down ya check yosef eradicates weak
so no need to speak
uh my flows detrimental every time i lay my **** in an instrumental
learn to rhyme learn to spell
***** ****** always wanna yell
out loud but once i puff my cloud
i pop guns make ya soul run
as ya lay in a casket uncovered the shroud
yea and it dont stopp
cuz its 187 on a muthpahukkin flop

Books in Barnes;
A Noble night.
One of laughter,
Not of fright.

We walked and read
With coffee, hot.
As I watched your head
Bow to words so smart.

We waited an hour;
Then a bit more.
For you to see
My one fine *****.

I'm joking of course.
She's really quite grand.
As you are to stars
And I to any man.

And that little bundle
Of energy and words
That never stops,
As if were birds.

Oh, the *** food with salad
Dead fish without tan.
Talking about the stars
As if ocean sand.

So immensely vast
Just as our souls
You read your lyrics
As we shared our Bowles.

You told of life
And the struggles thrown
At each of us
And how it's known

To rock us roughly
Then settles to peace
As we know more each day
And walk with more ease.

To find another
As we found they
Across a parking lot
Waving "hey".

But not your first meeting.
I'm not talking about Jim and Nick's;
But beyond what we see
In stones, leaves, and sticks.

We are out of this world
And in the center of it.
Lives crossing through others
Bit by bit.

So you know them well
You just missed their smiles
And the giggles unlimited
While we spun our tires.

We've danced before,
But not like this.
We've hugged like bears
With ethereal kiss.

Across the miles
Through water and fire;
Through earth and wind
By slave and friar.

By king and jest,
Princess and queen.
Through beast and fowl
We each have seen

Each other before
In glancing ways
And finally spent one of my dreams
At night, after one fine day.

And I'm thankful to all
That we met up that night.
That we shared our shared being
Through touch, sound, sniffing and sight.

And to the cosmos
I'll say this quite loud

I love you three the mostest post toastest. Ha!

We are friends, and will only be friends.
A part of me regrets my decision,
Us as a couple,
We both liked each other,
We kissed, sparks flew.
But, never forget the power that has.
Relationships have the power to grow apart.
Friendships grow strong, harder to break.
I will miss the gibberish, I will miss the hearts.
But in the end, I wont be missing you,
because I will have you,
You will be there when I need you,
You will be there when I fall.
Our friendship has grown forever strong.
I love you mostest
September 14, 2016

Yap,
Let's do this.....

Listen up everybody
I am here,
he name is Dough
Dough Flower, and I am the most important thing ever
yeah! I am the stuff, the mostest, the business, the main ingredient
I am Internationally famous, I am alive all over the world
everybody wants me, everybody needs me, you can't do without me

Listen people,
I rule things around here
I am so famous you name your cash after me
Dough, yes! Dough Flower, I am white, soft, dry and powdery
you need me for all types of cuisines but mainly I make bread
you need me for cakes, biscuits, scones, rolls, all types of cookies
forget the list, anything you bake, apart from animals and chickens
I am very likely in it, I am hot, I am cool, I am yummy, I am chewy

So, go on tell me, people!
which one of you do not know me
Am I not the most important thing in the world
do I not rock your cakes and move your jaws and fill you up
do I not exist everywhere, from the USA to USSR, from Mali to Bali
Maybe I don't rise in India bit I puff in China and burn in Malawi
do I not mix with everything and roast and twirl and even swim
See how I roll, I am white, I am soft, I am 'cie Magnific' n'est pas ?

People, listen up stay woke
I want you to show some respect here
Come on it's about time you know the secret Ruler
From my humble parents Mr and Mrs Wheat I become world ruler
I'm all around, in you and I keep you alive one way or another
I make money for some of you and I make millions of you in fatties
Now before I go, I want to tell those of you who waste me, don't
I know some kids enjoy throwing me in each others faces, Stop

To be fair, for sure the chasm is wide
in grace, in minds, in style, in reach or breeding
in their lowness, their mediocrity they all does fall
alas weak semi skilled and verbose ghosts regressives
tardy simpletons baring wonky teeth in urban revolution
brain dead mistakes reared on State-welfare snarling anarchy

Moi in enlightened grace and rarified sublimity
in esteemed value with qualities noble above mundane
barely two score years ago spooks were jiving affirmative Action
lower glass ceiling, give handicaps, at least make pretend equality
da urban bros are lagging behind, stop genocide of men-dem minds
empty rhetoric of the Ali Gs and Enimen clones faking cred la Street

Come look at me, come fight with me
I don't fit your stereotyping or tick boxes of rastas
enlightened, educated, privileged, sophisticated, well-bred
challenges all your dour senses, the one with the mind unbleached of noble birth and impeccable hereditary I frighten the hell outta hankies
the inferior cadavers hound, harass, sabotage and troll in jealous envy

Yeah, I am the giant you have to tie down
The one with the mostest, the stuff of your nightmares
so fight for your right to be backward and gloriously ignorant
lie, discredit,  misinform and dis-inform for this one knows more
makes your inferiority complexes scream in odious pain an frenzy
why wouldn't you all do what you do and miscall it red revolution

Suicide before I die
Wont be long, dont worry why
Suicide before I die
Its not easy coming home just to cry

So one last drive where i grew up
Burn outs here, and broken love
Fist of anger, and painful rage
Finally no more tears on my page

Pet my kitty just one more time
Ill see her soon so its not goodbye
Clean my room so they dont see
the mess and stuck dirt is really me
Pray to God and hope to die
You make no mistakes but what am i?

So suicide before i die
Wont be long dont worry why
Suicide before i die
Its not easy to see and cry

Blurry vision while shifting gears
Weight lift off my shoulders and no more fear
A sense of relief comes over my head
I can tell its almost my last breath

Play it off as just an accident
Few understand she is how i vent
I love too hard in this world of darkened depths
Hard to communicate when choking on death

Suicide before I die
Wont be long dont worry why
Sucide before I die
Its not easy and the pills dont lie

One last dance with my true love
I hope he knows he was the one
His kiss gave me life but not enough
Im sorry baby i know this is tough
May 11th 03:00,
Speeding 140 with a peacful mindset
You were my only happiness
You win you love me mostest

Im happier now and i promise you this
Ill hug you tighter, you will be missed
Tell my family i love them a lot
This is a battle that cannot be fought
Please dont cry
For you i tried

So suicide before i die...
Wont be long dont worry why
Sucide before i die
Its never esay, but youre always mine
Sucide before i die
It doesn't hurt and i know why
Its meant to be like my love for you
An endless bottle flowing through through
I love you to death cant you see
So suicide before i die
Wont be long dont worry why
Sucide before i die
Theres no such thing as goodbye

The Qualyxian Quest is Quixotic
Some might say psychosis

Golden Helmet of Mombrino
You are still the mostest

What else can I do?
I am a postcard poet

I like Star Wars stamps
That is how I show it

             Upward!