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Grace Ann Oct 2018
maybe it wasn't love
maybe it was the perfect illusion
one where I saw myself as someone
being capable of such a concept of love
where I saw myself happier than I really was
where I didn't make compromises for
my happiness to allow you some of yours

Maybe it was fear
the fear of being alone again
the fear that it was always me all along
who wasn't capable of making a relationship last
the fear that if you weren't the one then
there was nobody else out there that could be

And you know, maybe it wasn't love
maybe it was contentedness
the feeling that I was comfortable
so that should be enough, right?
that I should be happy with being comfortable
and not being truly happy

But maybe it was love
Maybe it was love that kept me with you
so much longer than I should have been
maybe it was love causing me to sacrifice
so much time and effort and energy into us
love causing me to think differently about my future
love making me blind to other possibilities
love making me selfless rather than selfish

So I guess I should thank you
because I've realized now that it's okay to be selfish
that I don't have to compromise to be happy
that I don't have to change my wants and
dreams to match yours
and that I can find someone who shares my goals

I can thank you for the growth
Thank you for the insight
for the days of joy
and for the nights of pain that made
those happy times even sweeter

So maybe it wasn't all love
But it was real
We were real
jeffrey conyers Dec 2014
You love your next one.
The way you should have loved your first one.
The one that stood by you when you had nothing.

Then suddenly, you became blessed.
And changed.
Drifting off to another interest that came.

Tossing up excuses.
Throwing out various blame.

You do more for your second.
That you barely done for your first.
The one that placed their dreams on hold.
While you pursue your goals.

Then suddenly, you begin to changed.
Seeking better things
Which she was never apart of in your life.

We see this with the rich.
And the less successful.
When a heart is broken.

And another live the life of luxury.
Callamasttia Jun 2023
"I've never experienced grief,"
I pondered for quite some time.
But in this pool of stagnation, I grieve each day,
An eternal punishment, as Sisyphus and his climb.

I grieve the life I dreamt of as a child,
To silence the screams at dinner.

I grieve the future we planned out
Before I saw you leaving.

I grieve golden hours in my living room,
With a book in hand and tea on the table,
In a house I never managed to buy.

I grieve my friends,
Who now reside in a distant dream future,
Where our worlds no longer collide.

I grieve my dream job,
Fulfilling work and festive nights,
Mornings being applauded for being a mastermind.

And most of all, I grieve,
Our future together,
Which I've dreamed of for years,
A house, plants, games, cats,
Dancing in the living room,
Purchasing new chairs,
Our cooking sessions at three a.m,
Knowing I'm loved for what I am.

Paper dreams,
Imaginary plans,
Tired smiles,
Our hidden dance.

I know I can get repetitive
So pardon me if I do
After all , what is grief
If not spiraling thoughs in a loop

My goals, plans so grand,
Smiles we shared, happiness at our hand,
Now are shattered, buried in the sand,
My is future lost and for that,
I grieve again.
Jon York Oct 2017
Love arrives again and in its train comes
ecstasies and memories of pleasures from
so long ago but this time around we are  
bold because our love will wash away the
chains of fear that our two souls did hold.

Her shadows in the night bring me much
delight even though she is far away right
now and I wonder will she ever come back
to me and that is the quiz and did I pass
or fail her inspection and I think I know
because she says she loves me so and that
she needs me more than I will ever know.

She comes back after being gone for so long
and her love is still strong and this I knew
all along because I could feel her from far
away saying that we will be together again
some day.

I've been waiting so long for you my love
and come to me you did like a beautiful song
that I have heard so many times before and
I felt you before you arrived and to keep
your love I do strive as our journey together
has begun and it is one that we both have
longed for, for a very long time in the sun.

Her love is so strong and her reasons for taking
so long are many but the past is gone and
together we will be for this long journey into
love as it unfolds for two formerly lost souls
who both had the same goals.

I knew there would come a day when she would
look at me and say that our love has arrived.
                                                        ­                      Jon York    2017
amy Dec 2019
you’ve done well, i could say
on track, hitting targets, completing goals
well done for your progress today
i can see you’ve scraped enough energy to climb out of that gloomy hole

seems like a front
like some kind of stunt
fake it til your make it
that’s what they all say
but it actually works, just for today

plod along young one
make yourself proud
announce your self-forgiveness,
shout it so loud

remember to plaster on a grin
even if its false
because if you do
the relief will eventually kick-in

so well done
young one
Infamous one Aug 2024
W70
After being denied the position. He continued to work harder most give up take the job hostage act like they deserved it. He'd worker harder for something better. Not settling he expressed his goals to this unmotivated lead that detoured his goals.
It was a wake up call being better when it came to people that didn't believe in him. He didn't use his recovery from surgery as an excuse. He'd only miss work if it was an intense procedure.
From doing extra to doing his part making his area stand out. Taking time to improve himself having a life outside of work. Being a workaholic was not rewarding when he did the work most will get it without trying that's the frustrating part after this life lesson.
Cynthia Feb 21
If you cut open my arm,
I would bleed out poetry.
Lines of sacred poems from authors such as Bukowski, Maya Angelou, Mary Oliver.

I am a poem.
I like to think of my life that way.
Romanticizing it
makes it a little more bearable.

Maybe it’s easier to
articulate my thoughts,
when it rhymes.

It’s easier to express myself
in vague terms
and mysterious stories.

Poetry is my favorite dead language.
Rarely seen nowadays,
yet still stays so beautiful.

Exotic in its nature,
but exquisite in it’s simplicity.

It explains my most vigorous notions into gentle and sweet words.
Music to my ears.

My writings of poetry feels like
saying sorry before I threw the rock.
Kissing before stabbing.

My poetry is raw
and unfiltered.
A gentle ray of sunshine,
that also burns at the touch.
Yet you can’t move because it’s so entrancing,
you know it doesn’t mean to hurt you
it just does.
A kind of unintentional love bomb.

My poetry is a reflection of who I am,
my aspirations and goals.
Struggles and flaws,
challenges and obstacles,
but also my good moments.
Where I truly feel alive.

It’s also a reflection of others through me.
My parents and family.
Famous poets, authors, musicians.
People I look up to.
I am just a filtered version of them.
While still being authentically myself.

Ultimately my poetry is who I am.
Painfully tender
and
Sourly sweet.
As I am all of the contradictions within myself.
The end is the beginning and the process is the way, which “should” be enjoyed and cherished, every single day. Disregard all the doubt, that takes up all your time.
Nothing is for certain, so open up your mind. Seek out and find your purpose, be diligent and true. Never feel discouraged, by becoming more immune. You know yourself much better, than anyone you know. People will try to bring you down, but you’ve got to let it go. Focus on your goals instead, let nothing steer you away. Never wait until tomorrow, what you can do today.
Infamous one Feb 2019
A dream that makes sense
Others tell you it's crazy
A lonely life separate path
The quiet one in a loud crowd
Plotting goals trying to achieve greatness
Never talking about others mind my own
Mind my business keep to myself
Others talk bad when they've done worse
Different from the rest aim to be the best
Eddie Starr Jun 2014
Our dreams and goals can be accomplish if we lay them at Christ feet.
Our life can be a joy to others if we lay down our will to pick up  Gods.
For this life is not about us , but about Christ for its by his sacrifice.
That we are able to choose Heaven in the first place, so his will matters.
Christ love for others , as example that we need to follow as well.
For obedience is by far the best thing that we can give to God.
He loves us so much and when you love Christ back you obey him.
He said people will know my people by their love for other people.
Hank Helman Feb 9
Will the Aliens save us.

The answer is not a yes or no.

It's a why.

Why would they.

There are no saviors.
No heaven or hell.
It will be up to us to figure it out.

And you wonder if your life has meaning or purpose.

You make a difference. A huge difference..

Set goals. Build hope. Immerse in optimism.

Resiliency, resilient, resilience.

I will not give up. Ever
jeffrey conyers Apr 2018
She smiling.
You must be doing something right that keeps her radiating at night.
She happy.
A true sign you are accomplishing goals you set out to do.

But even in her sadness.
You bring a cheer to her life.
Oh, she states it softly in the whispers of her prayers to the lord.

But you hear the solid truth whenever she says, you're the one she loves.

She can be quiet without speaking.
And you very aware you the object she's seeking.
You that special guy she prayed for.

The one she tells other proudly why you're the one?
Kenji King Sep 2022
The disturbance, constant eyes and mouths chattering as I move, live, do, achieve, prosper and work.
What is it?
My energy? My drive? My determination? My  ambition?
Does my empowerment and goal driven personality threaten you?
Does my limitless knowledge and thrill to learn make you feel stupid?
Does my hot body and love for exercise make you feel ugly?
Does my enthusiasm to achieve and gain my dreams and goals scare you?

What is it? Because while I am out here working myself to the top, you wasting the last cent you have on your need to sustain.
Stagnency, inefficiency, and unproductivity is not in my name or my blood line.
My mother made it to the top, and I am a product of just that. We have the earth running in our veins, the fire burning in our souls, the water rummaging beneath where the ignorant are too afraid to lurk.

DOES MY POWER THREATEN YOUR LACK OF MOTIVATION AND LACK OF PASSION?

DO YOU LOVE/HATE ADMIRE ME BECAUSE YOU WISH YOU HAD THAT SAME CONFIDENCE?

It's all in me, best believe, God is a ****** woman, and the Devil is too.
My late grandmother was a Capricorn
My mom's a Virgo
And I am a Taurus

We are earth and we run this *****
Identity Nov 2019
Dear Instagram
When I was a little girl, I made friends with who I found funny, and creative.
When I met you I knew that we would not be congruent.
You, with your self mutilating circus, painting women as clowns in a never ending charade of poses.
And we cry, when not enough strangers find us delectable, when we fail to become the cardboard cutouts of success you have plastered on our walls under goals, next to “college” and “get a job” and “stay alive” and “be happy” sits “be attractive”

Now, I judge you on the inadequacy of your appearance.
As I sit and wait and try to become the cutout you indecently insist I adopt as my own self
Watching those who succeed and turning away from those who fail
Scared to suddenly realize the self inflicted sacrifice was for something not real. Scared to look at the perfect posers and realize I am not them, despising them for being better than me and being repelled by my own indecency.
You have made me hate the person I aspire to become

Dear the online representation of myself.
You are not real
You are something I have pondered for hours, perfected and selected like nonorganic berries
Positioned precisely, a mosaic of pieces forced together to be pretty but not art
Not an expression of self but a desperate plea breathing “look at me, I am broken but I look whole, I am miserable but I will look happy, I do know know why I am here but I will still smile and try to be happy I am just trying to look happy I am just trying to look
I am alone but surrounded by people looking at me for a second and moving on to the next image they found attractive
the people I see for those seconds are not those that I knew because the people I knew were not perfect, they were flawed, each flaw imprinted on the whole like the conclusive strokes in an impressionist painting, making it a painting, not perfect but still beautiful.
I hate myself for not being the perfect parts of someone else
More perfect than possible, a life I wish but am glad I do not have yet pretend I do out of self hatred for being caught in a non violent, invisible charade.
nivek Apr 2017
when the Universe is a jigsaw and you one single piece
yes the jigsaw will not be complete without you
but when you see all the other pieces it puts your personal goals and problems in their rightful place.
The frenzied pace that fuels expression,
from piercing fragments of confession;
Devours its pace from a common source,
when enduring faith rejects its course.

While losing time to run the race,
resisting visions' one can't erase;
The wicked sins' resurgent fire,
dissolves in devil's blackened ire.

In vivid scenes of starlit skies,
revolving planets gone awry;
Cast brightest signals on display,
reaching spiritual heights along the way.

While communing with enlightened souls,
pursuing paths toward heavenly goals;
Resurgent powers' keen revelations,
will emerge from wonders of creation.
Checked in, on ya vocals,
Smash hits, go local,
Break ya stereo, there he go,
Ripping the floor,
Displayed deserved an encore,
Don't call me Lazy,
Styles similar to Nas and Jay'Z,
Invite me enemies,
Let 'em sit at the table,
Expose the Judas, around me,
Word to my mommy,
Or better yet, the sworn of the Wu Bee,
Still love *******, ***** don't really move me,
Put the vinyl, to the needles,
That's where the grooves be,
Dance like Stony,
Jackson satisfaction, girls catch attraction,
To my performance actions,
Bed room perfume,
Knock so hard, you can feel the skies fumes,
*** is everywhere, don't care, if you really, don't wanna go there,
I'm up in ya face,
News edit, commercial **** the racial,
Knew a chick name Rachel,
She loved to get facials,
Scratch off ****, silent my fears,
Now I hear the horn,
Lena the baddest chick, have ya seen her,
Close to the starlight, six wings caught a flight,
Wait I counted twelve, haters put ya albums, back on the shelves,
I'm taking over, sounds like
The ending of Jehovah,
Who could climb over,
The electric fence, let the ****,
On ya eardrums,
Beat so hard, til ya go deaf and dumb,
Don't just follow the hums,
Of my lyrics, that cause troublesome,
Dumb dumbs, can't peep the conundrum, reaching heights pass the slum,
Ruthless hope y'all feel this, been this way, since the styles of Chris,
Or better yet, Melly Mel,
Never answer the cell, but I'll rock ya bells, like LL,
No shots of cannabis, ask this cousin, can I bust,
I make oxygen rust, without the metal, heavy rhymes to settle,
Watch ya soul shake, embrace the intake, ya life's token,
It's gravely close to a wake,





Back to back, like Jordan on the sixth,
Ring, everyone gather around and sing,
What the lullaby brings,
Circling,
Each and corner, caught two cabs, met rza, in the lab,
Pin the vocab, chemist when i spit this,
Vibration, could shake the stations,  rep my own nation,
Woman want me,
Make em ****, til i reach *******,
Skin tone, dont matter me,
Cuz language i speak,
Be money, get the honey,
Hives crowd, up under me,
Spoken properly, built for the family,
Understand me,
Mission monopoly,
At the same time, drop the pedigree,
Peep timeline, i was here before,
There was a time,
Sparkle in the sky, why ask why,
Burn your tapes,
Like when i decalcify, ya third eye,
Old as the fossils,
Make raps colossal, belittle your scrolls to goals,
Ya know the flow, quote it, like a scripture,
Photograph to picture, make hits like ******,
Magazine cousine, to the guns that fiend,
Learned the cream, cashed in my race, now i gotta wicked taste,
In my mouth,
Word to the south,
We stay raunchy, hype the universe like Crunchy,
Three six, still in the mix, talking ****,
I pop up ******, as that boy It,
Ahh ****,
Spiritual counsel, control the sounds of soul,
Stay tuned for the next sequel,
devi Sep 2021
Adrianna Exposé

So I went on a safari leave in January because I got too bored to do anything anymore and they failed to see that this “I wasn’t doing anything” was happening for the last year and a half. If you keep saying that you’re busy really, they play right into your hand. I was never the type of person who cared for titles or anything, so the second I signed my name to that zoo, I went in full depression mode. This was not at all what I wanted, but the money was good and everybody around me kept telling me that it’s a good thing happening. It wasn’t, at all. I usually never stay at a job longer than 1 or 2 years, simply because most animals who invest their energy in being someone else’s donkey (no matter the ranking, if you’re gone they wouldn’t drop a tear and you’re replaced, remember that) have no actual real life for themselves and that’s also why they want to know about yours so they could use it against you and feel better about theirs. That’s what people apparently do with your information, they use it against you. So I don’t tell any personal stories unless I think it will be helpful if I shared it, same goes for my goals, I like to keep quiet but any longer than 2 years and the animals around you start to take offense in your attitude. The things I did tell, were mostly lies but like I said: it was all used against me in a really rude fashion. The monkey in charge, Adrianna Whitmang got jealous a lot, he didn’t like the way I was giving out some of my attention to other collegues within the zoo, especially when I literally gave none to him. So when I told a small bit about my mother’s death, he started using words to say that I have problems because of it, the same goes about bits and pieces about my life my friends or family. He felt comfortable victimizing me, instead of accepting that he isn’t attractive in my eyes. I always tell people the first thing he ever “professionally” said to me was “Hi I’m Adrianna Whitmang and I’m in an open marriage, can I have your phone number?”. This is an actual true story. So he tried to run a game within our department, but I just never cared for it. After I had hit my all-time expiration date of 1/2 years, I just wanted him to pay me for my presence, so he did. He gave me a full on raise on two occasions even though I hadn’t done anything to deserve it, other than saying it the whole time. So my behavior got even worse, at some point I was really unhappy about doing nothing, it was really honest to God nothing. But I felt even more unhappy doing something about it, I didn’t want to anymore. I simply never cared, my heart was never in it. What I did with my heart is where my body went, fûcking the collegae I had an interest in during all office hours.

The real truth is, I really don’t really like certain people. After I was sēxuālly abused as little kid, I developed a disliking in these people, especially men, in my case it’s a bit racist but I can’t help it. I have a big contempt for white people when it comes to attractiveness and séxuāl preference, other than that I’m completely fine. I come from a mixed home, I’m half white myself so a real racist I can’t be. Apart from that I had a very white but Eastern culturally loaded upbringing, but I never liked the mentality of the people here in Holland. I never voluntarily been with a white person nor do I think I could physically bear it.

So again, apart from the mental issues he tried talking me into, he thought we grew up in completely different worlds and he had to teach me about his because how on earth could I know any of that, right. He threw another one of his limitations on me and I did not feel a need to tell him otherwise. I got nothing to proof to nobody, plus he already gave me what I wanted. I am always the underdog, the free spirit no can control. But he failed to ask me about my childhood, because I could’ve told him I grew up without any secrets, taboos or any stuck conventions about reality. My childhood home was a party house, home parties were a thing in my home, my mother’s friends were mostly high ranked white people within our society and before they went out or with birthday’s, our house became the place to be. I grew up with having multiple gay stepdads, men coming to our house and leave as the most expensive good-looking women ever, political figures, even high priced prostitutes that looked like a Goddesses but mostly the truly free minded people. Apart from that I was raised using proper etiquette everyday, I was always pushed to get degrees, taught to be independent, taught to fight my own battles, learned about the real world in a beautiful fashion and I was raised with so much love. My mother told me every single day of my life that she loved me or thought the world about me, and if she didn’t, one of my gay stepdaddies would, I grew up being invincible. But hey, he told me that I was crazy so I probably am right?

After I announced my safari leave, he quite obviously and actively made the process “difficult” for me because I probably got under his skin. But no difficulties in my position over here, got all the time in the world.. but hmmkay, he likes to believe he has some kind of effect on me, so I gave him my super serious, serial special "raging *****" effects. It were petty things really, but it did the job. He actually thinks I care, he still doesn’t believe I don’t. It’s sad he is so limited by his beliefs or hates the fact that other people can so easily break free from the burdens he is experiencing. I am a free women or better yet a free person. The real reason he's doing this is because he is unable to get me in bed and that's the honest truth.

I do not get jealous, mad or bothered about the things he comes up with, because it’s not about him, nor the zoo or the animals grazing in it. I solely stayed for that one guy, the man I followed around like a puppy, jup I said it. That’s why I stayed for so long, and had to make everybody believe that I actually cared about the zoo, or the animals in it, but truth be told I simply never did. At the end of the day I’m not desperately in it for the money, I’m just surviving society. In the conversations we had, he should’ve figured it out because I was quite honest in the beginning about my plans.. plans that did not include the zoo EVER.
Mr E Sep 2018
There is a beast that exists
A creature that heroes dare not face
That lives in the most putrid crevices of our souls
An animal that can't be killed
Ravenous with endless hunger
Never sleeping nor yielding
Pulling the strings to entice you along

This beast that dines on conscious men
With each bite it dulls the senses
And numbs its victims bodies and mind
People call it by many names
But none can remember once it's through
A Murmur in the wind
Buried beneath the ground

It can make the most convicted men walk away
The most angry men easily pacified
Sadness gone
Faded memories floating in the wind
We all face this monster
The demon lurking in the shadows
We have all forgotten our goals
Our dreams
We have all been eaten by this beast
That feeds on the aspirations of all men

Devouring your reason
Your drive and your purpose
All but distant ideas
Do not let the animal
That lives within us all
Consume your motivation
And dine on the dreams you hold closest to you
Never forget why you press onwards
For when you do
You are aimless
In a standstill
kevin May 15
Going towards ones
          Own lifecycles

Oft the goals are spun

Inordinate
      The philosophy
           Of the wise day

Ones dying ignorance
        Was yesterday's
              Awakening
Tuffy Mutombo Nov 2017
For me it never had a starting point or an ending point

I just knew it had to be given
You were the chosen

I showed it by never forgetting where we were going

Goals set, in midnight conversations, early morning calls, late night walks

Never asked you to be loyal
Always talked about keeping it real
It’s like the scene never ended and you kept the reel
Never needed lights to show the actions
No amount of cameras could capture the excellence of your presence
You never left even when you were given the evidence

To you my loyalty has no expiration
Your heart is it’s intended destination
Monotone May 2017
A Shield.
That's what it is.
A secret invisible force
that lets me hide.
It helps mask the
pain and sorrow
and anger and
regret and remorse
woven into my soul
piece by piece.
It helps me face
my peers,
my parents,
my friends,
my goals,
my dreams,
myself.
And even I
cannot see past it.
Bob B Oct 2019
Chapter Seven of the D.T. Playbook:
Do not worry if you besmirch
Your country's honor by suddenly leaving
Trusted allies--the Kurds--in the lurch.

Although they worked together with you
To fight a common enemy, ISIS,
Their abandonment will force them
To face an even greater crisis.

Provide them with weapons while they assist you.
Then merely say, "Thank you. Good-bye!"
Leaving them to fend for themselves,
To flee their homeland, to suffer, to die.

Do not worry if thousands of Kurds
Had lost their lives to help fight your foe.
Turn your head, pretending you can't
Hear the people's cries of woe.

Placate a Turkish autocrat
With ethnic cleansing as one of his goals.
Do not fret if experts tell you
That your thoughtless plan has holes.

Do not let your people know
Your REAL motives, for you have the knack
Of taking full advantage of others
Before stabbing them in the back.

Do not fear if enemy captives
Escape from their prison cells and flee,
Putting more people there and here
In danger as ISIS soldiers run free.

Tell everyone how smart you are;
Pat yourself on the back, and then
Do not care that the rest of your allies
Will never be able to trust you again.

-by Bob B (10-21-19)
jeffrey conyers Apr 2018
When others speak negatively about you?
Know many have been in your shoes and will continue too.
Just know Jesus faced various comments.

When many don't accept your views?
And you're feeling so alone.
Just know Jesus met the same wrath.

Somewhere behind you and within you lies strength.
Strength to be.
Strength to accomplish your goals and your dreams.

Believe in Jesus.
With all your heart and soul
Cause we know of his death, miracles and just when she rose.

And to this day he going on and going strong.
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2022
maybe it's one of those nights where i don't write
anything and simply enjoy drinking
and some good music...
it must be one of those nights...
i feel intellectually lazy...
                     more than that...
i feel that my memory faculty has taken over...
culminating in a reading
of Zhuangzi...
      what was that band that did a song about
Mr. Brightside?
                 the Killers? no?
                ****... i didn't leave a bookmark...
i usually leave a temp. bookmark with a sample
of toilet paper...
                     no... not because i could wipe my ***
with the pages of the book i'm currently reading...
it's just easier that way...
but this one story was about two concubines...
one was beautiful... and she knew/ thought that
she was beautiful...
   the other was ugly.... and she knew / thought
that she was ugly...
but the ugly one was more endearing...
             the master of the inn replied to the traveller:
i treat the ugly one better... because:
i sometimes forget her ugliness...
                           this is non-verbatim of course...

i could easily incorporate the following Cyrillic
into ****** on the basis of laziness...
   following from                 щ:

     szczur becomes щur...
                             i don't think there's any aesthetic loss...
i rather find it elevated...
but with that it also means i would have
to drop the Czech orthographic aesthetic of the caron
hovering about either S or C...

because there's no щ in Czech...
the Serbians can incorporate a Latin J...
i'll just leave it as my own idiosyncratic attitude...
rigid English is also fluid English:
whatever grammatical uprising happened or is still
happening: my I.Q. was drowning in
the "pronoun debates"... so i sort of lost interest:
but English will not incorporate any post
Roman accents... perhaps that's how the English
prospered: thinking themselves as the rightful
inheritors of the Roman Empire...

makes perfect sense...

like the critique of Communism...  to me?
it converged with the already emergence of Pan-Slavism...
which was a genuine movement...
the unification of all the Slavic people...
Communism didn't work... it didn't...
in the Soviet Union...
              it worked in China where it morphed
into a quasi-capitalism...
it also worked... in the satellite states of the Soviet
Empire...

it worked in... Czechoslovakia...
it worked in Hungary... and it worked in Poland...
it did...
   how?                  mein gott!
everyone's familiar with the Marshall Plan...
so... basically... funding by the F.S.A.
          (united? states? please... nice 20th century
gimmick... nice chant at sporting events)
so there was this Marshall Plan...
        aid was distributed to the war torn countries
after World War II...
           even Sweden! (i thought Sweden was neutral?
yeah... it was, hmm!)
           was given a paycheck to rebuild...
but what else the Soviets "liberated"? sure...
         "we" received a paycheck... a "grant":
via an ideology...

                               i'm starting to think that...
music from the Satellite States of the Soviet Union
was on par with Western music...
i'm happy i kept my bilingualism...
i can go back to a culture that i'm a diaspora member
of...
         unlike all those Asian immigrant children
who's parents tell them to forget their mother tongue
and only acquire a strange urban accent...
thankfully i'm first generation immigrant...
i kept my tongue, because, as Napoleon said:
a person who knows two languages is worth 2 people...

oh please... Soviet music is ****...
i'll give three examples... maybe more...
Maanam - Krakowski Spleen...
Klaus Mittfoch - Śmielej...
Republika - **** Doll...
Omega - Gyöngyhajú Lány...
fair enough... the last song is Hungarian...

but it wasn't all bad...
                        perhaps it was bad in the Soviet Union...
well... you bring together Russians and Mongolic tribes...
the Kazakhs etc.
            but? surprisingly... the genius of Gorbachev...
as my grandfather used to say...
that it happened so peacefully!
can you imagine the breaking apart of
the United Kingdom... or the F.S.A. as peacefully?!

i can't...
    perhaps it was bad in the Soviet Union...
but after the historical facts of the **** Empire building...
there was always going to be a subversion
element to nodding to the Soviet-post-Tsarist
arena...

    i'm not saying that communism will ever be
a success... but... it's not a bad idea in crucial scenarios...
like in Poland from the years 1945 through to 1990...
it worked...
    and then... the reins are let go...
what happens? a diaspora is created...
   those adamant that communism didn't work
stay in the homeland... and rebuild it with a doubled
fervor... while those that thought that communism
worked: ******* to other countries...
i think my mother pushed my father into
looking at immigration: given she was a daughter
of a prominent member of the communist party:
**** me... my grandfather was a meisterschtick
in his profession... he was even asked to be
a peer... in a courtroom...
                     i.e. a member of the jury...

me? i was once a witness...
  a troublesome witness...
so me and m'ah "fwend" and some other witnesses
were walking down a street in the night...
some ****-
                          -stani pulls up in a car...
and grabs m'ah "fwends" phone out of this hand...
i tell the other witness to note down
the number plates of the car...
duly noted: we go to the police station
and report it...
   week or two later i'm skimming through
mug-shots in a police station...

idiocy goes to trial... i'm standing in the dock...
the lawyer of the defesense
shows me another picture of the culprit...
back in the day when there was an imprint
on the photograph: before photographs became
digital...
is this him? he asks...
i look at the face... then at the date...

this is two years prior?
    can you imagine me growing long hair in two years
time? can you imagine me growing a beard
in two years time?
so why are you asking me what someone looked
two years prior to a crime... if not asking me
what i will look like two years from now?

it was a simple ******* question...
i honestly don't know how the case finished...
i guess it was a failure because:
m'ah "fwend" probably felt scared
and couldn't identify the culprit...
whatever the case: "problem"...
i sort of lost respect for him and in a polite way:
when i was in my nadir...
he uttered the words: would you like me to
bring out a violin?
oh... ******... ****** ****** ******...
i wanted to tell him that the reason why
his parents divorced and why he was still
living with his dad
and why his dad ****** off to Thailand
and brought a Thai bride with him
and hy he now had a step-brother
and why his father was still playing Command & Conquer
and breeding Thai chickens...
and why his hygiene was terrible...
why he didn't clean his kitchen...
and the reason why his father divorced his mother
was because she was a terrible cook
    and because the third child they had
had serious mental disabilities... *******...

but... no... i didn't...
              this is how you repay me... after i stand
up to you?
   i remember parting with him after he left me
stunned with that violin quote:
i turned my back towards him...
raised my hands up and then... let them flop:
**** it... tower of Babel...

that was just prior to the "onslaught" of the pandemic...
me? i gained from it...
while everyone else was growing tired,
cold, distant: i was already tired,
cold and distant...
akin to the crab bucket: there was only one
way up...

friends! ha!

two more songs...
            Róże Europy - Jedwab...
Róże Europy - kości czerwone, kości czarne...

what are friends? in the dire straits...
only then... and by then...
you're befriending strangers...
no... no ******* childhood memories of people
you used to play hide & seek with...
or... by western standards: video games...
oh: to hell with that!

my Cerberus came to lie in my bed just
a minute ago...
i think i'll need him to stand watch should
any rat from my neighbour's garden try to nibble on
me while i take to sleep in the garden:
half frozen in nakedness on the hyper-"real" grass
that's fake...
i'll need him to watch over my sleeping body...
but that's the only great aspect of a heatwave...
while everyone else will be rotting in a household...
i'll be falling asleep in the garden...
illuminated by solar-panelled lights...
and i'll be: mostly glad to be alone...

just that silence in my head...
which i try to rekindled with multiple egos
like a Thespian and not a poet...

Communism worked... because it only works for
a while!
               it would work in Syria...
it could work anywhere for a period of 50 years...
up to... 50 years...
then it disappears... gladly...
it's not a permanent Utopian sentiment...
it's a crux: for rebuilding nations...
it worked in Poland...
                        it didn't work in the Soviet Union
because... Communism was anti-Tsarist...
but the French Republic could have...
turned into a Communist experiment:
which it did... post-Communism...

                         blah blah... i'm enjoying the music
more than the writing...
1:34am... i think i'm going to ******* to the garden
to sleep a little bit earlier before sunrise
arrives... i'll take my Cerberus with me...
to watch over my sleeping: dead body to mind
the rats not trying to give me either manicures
or pedicures...
            
    we'll have our fun... stars... moon...
a naked torso... the chill of night...
                       if i lived a place where the cold wasn't
a concern for raising bricks...
i'd be a... waste of time... or rather:
i'd be an untouchable...
i'd grow my beard to my bellybutton
and my hair strapped in dreadlocks
to my ****...

         but i do enjoy Turkish barber-pandering...
it wasn't all that bad!
         it wasn't!

see! i started off thinking about nothing...
now i have a narrative: genious sessions with Hans Zimmer!

but i really could do with certain letters in the Cyrillic
alphabet...

               i feel so bad for Maine **** cats and Huskies
in this weather...
don't ever leave dogs in hot cars in parking lots...

i really could do with some Cyrillic letters...
beginning with щ...

             via the word: truthfulness:

щerość > ščerość > szczerość....

                 i can't introduce the caron S or caron C
with the already available acute S and C...
better turn to Cyrillic...
because i'm / i am lazy... with Cyrillic being
what the English do with the apostrophe...

but i need several more letters...
i don't imply having to derive from the Glagolitic anymore:
i.e. Ⱋ...

                  i need the following:
to replace the SZ, CZ... RZ...
                  esp. these three letterings...
ж to replace rz
                              i know there's an alternative meaning
should ж be replaced with what replaces rz,
i.e. żaba: frog... rzecz: thing...
ergo?                                                  жecz..
ergo...                to replace CZ?
                                         ч...
i.e.                  жeч...

     what am i falling on? terrible ideals and mystical
Judaism... i'm trying to HIDE the TETRAGRAMMATON...

SZ...                          шatan...

hmm... this one curiosity: coupled with another...
it took **** Germany with Soviet Russia
to conquer Poland than it merely took
**** Germany to conquer France...

a human has 32 teeth...
the Polish language has 32 letters...
although... i'm trying to extend the bite...
by borrowing some Cyrillic lettering...
perhaps it's a "bad idea"... but i don't see any problem
with it...

the English language has 26 letters...
although, the same "problem": SH and CH
are also letters: even if they are composed
of two letters... sat and shat...
cat and chappy...
                                                                   no?

there are enough words in the ****** lexicon
that utilise the SZCZ (shch) coupling:

another example: szczegół...
i.e. detail...
i can't be bothered with writing one s after
two zeds before writing a c...
щegół...
                           hell... it looks pretty for any
English speaking crowd...
esp. the monolingual tourist types...

i like it... i think i'm going to stick with it...
frankly: i think i am...
but that's me... will it become popular?
i hardly ******* doubt it...
i'm just trying to hide the Hebrew TETRAGRAMMATON...
the Latin grapeme Æ in the name of the name:
in the first born Siamese of
yAh of Adam and wEh of Eve...
      the rugby goals of the HH...

   and all? because i'm writing in London...
outskirts... perhaps... but i can catch a train from Romford
toward Liverpool St. and arrive within 20 minutes...
or i can cycle...
       and still get there... with a whiff of
Bombay... and Lahore...
hmm... funny me looking at funny you:
WASP...

Richard Harris coming to England... to London...
smashing a glass window
with a poster: blacks... dogs... the Irish not welcome...
i adore authentic drinkers...
they make me believe that i don't
have a problem...
that the problem is outside of me!
because... the propable cause is that:
the problem is outside of me...
i just adapted to it with drinking...

best gain: **** prostitutes like a pirate
without a ship...
spend your night listening to phone-calls
coming in from Arab boys trying to attest
their ****-philia...

in conversation:

what's this with your husband? i'm bounding myself to being boxed as both confused with... yu need to elaborate... i promise to return a cryptic language... but just show me your head... i was going to write this... i think i will... "imaginary scenario"... a jealous man comes across a woman cheating on him... RED FLAG... what does he do? he asks the cheating woman... how about a *******?! what could be worse for the cheating woman... two men fighting over her... or... one man deciding... sure... if she's up for it... let's share! do i need that much crap or do i just allow the woman to play out her full fantasy? we're already reached a ******... we might as well elevate the ******... you cheated on me already...next stage? i share you with someone... there's no need to ****** on the wedding ring... it's what i call the de-escalation of symbolism...but all the FREEDOM! if i was in a relationship with a woman... and found out that she was cheating on me... i'd ask her for a *******... after all... mouth... ******... ****... ****... *******'s not enough: it would require a foursome! eh... you can spare him the nun antics...
Babakagolo Apr 4
Spells Caster ╬{{+2672740459}}╬ SPIRITUAL HEALER /Voodoo Spells Caster /SANGOMA / Death & Revenge Spells in South Africa, Spain, Suriname, Sweden Switzerland, Taiwan, Thailand, Turkey, Ukraine, United Arab Emirates, United Kingdom, Uruguay, South Africa
An expert healer, love spell expert, spiritualist and psychic, Baba Kagolo. I have 21 years of experience in this craft, having been chosen by my Ancestors and Spirit Guides to continue in their footsteps. I am blessed by my great ancestors to help solve some of your problems strictly through the engagement of spiritual means and healing. My great and unique powers work in tandem with African roots, herbs and ancestral powers to enhance success in all works directed to them. We live in a new and complex world where problems abound, and this requires an experienced healer to have success with ease.
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I think we have a different sort of problem now...
One which has probably always plagued us,
Sometimes its embrace has held hold of us for so long
Realities were changed
The concept of "the other"
A simple idea, that you are not like me
A mechanism of the smallest
Most unevolved parts of our brains
Yet without which we could not "be"
The sense that
I am
The sense that
you are not what I call "me"
The basest recognition that we are different
How simple an idea - independent consciousness
That even genetically identical twins
Can recognize themselves from each other
"The other"
We've weaponized this basic perceptual function
Since the very dawn of our species
And through complexities of
Environment
Genetic bottlenecks
Genocides
We are all "I" now
Nearly 9 billion "I"s
All seeking an ability to be "we"
That is the basic function of civilization
To define "me" among the "we" and split our burden of work
For the greater survival of the "us"
But "us" is so much weaker than "we"
"Us" desperate in our divisions still seeking to be "I"
In a complex infrastructure that "me" can be a part of "we"...
This is how humanity is gas-lit and misled
Told to always be seeking, and never to be sought,
And if the "I" of a "me" is charismatic enough...
"We" let them lead "we" and in doing so
define an "us"
For now
Civilization must be governed
but "we" continue to give away all of our "I"s
to be "me" among the "we"
In theory to push "us" to progress
It's why terrorism has the wrong name
Each ruling faction in history
Was a "terrorist" to someone else
- to have made someone afraid
"Terrorism" seems to declare that the objective
Is nothing more than fear - so reductive
A sentiment to dehumanize their "us"
and label their "we" - "them"
To make their "we" less than our "us"
I prefer Organized Non-Unified State Actors (ONUS)
"Terrorism" sounds like an individual act
Coordinated by a conspiracy of individual acts
Robbing "their" identities of recognition
- which is probably what it all is ultimately about to begin with
"They" do not fit the fold of the agreements of the many civilized "we"s and want to be their own "us"
But there is no room, resource,
There is no time
Food
Water
"We" have already identified, occupied, and commodified
Every resource for an unaligned "us"
"You" must be "we" for your share and to survive
"Their" methods are poorly rationalized, but very intelligent
Bad intellect and severe commitment
"We" dream of conspiracy to make "our" "us" look capable
But their "us" is organized and capable
If "we" ever want to end terrorism
"we" need to call it what it is
Revolution with no vacancy
Organized groups of disuinified elements taking action
It doesnt matter that the "they" may not reach "their" goals
- "they" dont have enough "we"s on their team
"They" make "we" hurt
And shame "them" for it, ignorant to their "us"'s hurt
I am not making excuse or any compassion
for those among the universal "us"
Humanity, sapiens,
Who cannot get on board with "we"
because the most of the "we"s decided this is how it will be
And it is broken
And it is wrong
And there are many hurt
But "us" lives in a universe
finite in 'isms confined to our limited time
So as much as I or any "me" tries to recognize an ONUS
in the attempt of just being seen by "we"
It is always "the other", how are "they" unlike "me"
Not what do both "we"s share.
The world's greatest collection of "we"
Wrote arbitrary rules rules of "us" in this time
That "they" isn't yet a "we" for all
"we" are not yet "us"... too many "we"
too many poisoned by "me"
and worse
entitled by "I"
When "we" do we dont need lables anymore
Race, theology, gender - ways to describe "the other"
That will be a beautiful day
When the sun rises on a dead rock
Condemned to death by fire in unyeilding climate change
And then further pushed to annihilation by nuclear winter
Robert Frost was right
The world will end in Fire and Ice
Glenn Currier Oct 2020
Silence silence nothing
at this moment of now
this nothing is not nothing,
but a delicate challenge
to a mind used to saturation in noise
goals busyness
purpose.

What do I fear here in this now
what phantom do I imagine
lurking in the darkness
basking in this brightness?
Aa Harvey Apr 2018
Gone


Drink myself into oblivion,
Let me be the forgotten son.
The forgotten one;
I will soon be forgotten and gone.


Gone from you, gone from this place;
I want to be gone from this space with no kind of grace.
I want to find out if Heaven is real or just a myth on a piece of paper.
I believe, I don’t believe, I will believe when I meet my maker.


I thought I knew how to belong,
Now all I do is wrong
And all I feel inside is, I want to be gone.


Now we are gone to become the ones,
Who disappeared, like we have become God’s.
Our skeletons shall be the only mark we leave on this planet,
My poetry my only indent on this Earth;
My existence will disappear when the electricity is gone.


Thinking about you shows me how little I knew you.
Who are you?  What did you believe?  What did you do?
Any question answered, it’s all in front of our eyes;
Still we cannot choose which question to ask.  Which question is right?


You may call it intuition, or you may call it a day,
But there is nobody left to call when they have all been sent away.
We live in but a second, we exist for an instant;
We are soon to be gone, so make a good impression.
We are here, then soon enough our time has been spent;
We never accomplish all our goals, before our death sets in.


Now I am gone;
I am higher than the sun.
I walk alongside God;
I am humble before Him/Her and all I want is to not be forgotten.


(C)2016 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Infamous one Jun 2018
The struggle is real figuring it all out
Once you drop the drama get focused
Doing what you love and passionate about
Writing to end my day feels right
A night writer makes it easy to rest
Dream big so close yet so far
Accomplished goals still setting more
Open to grown one day my efforts will show
Keep waking up and shine bright
Failed and learn from the mistakes
crazy enough to come back for more
Every experience part of life
Better to live feel alive with positive vibes
Over being numb and going through the motions
Graff1980 Jun 2018
He wears
a dull faced
indifference.

Thinks I am
a dim wit,
because
I do not
pursue
the same
worthless
*******.

Brown eye,
brown hair,
well-trimmed
small beard,
love his
gold rush
reality
tv
show.

His goals,
are a product
of a limited
mindset,
rectangular vision,
in an oval like
world.

No mind expanding
conversation,
just me
patiently waiting
for him to dislodge
his slack jawed
visage
from those
cellphone images.

— The End —