"familiarized" poems
Deranged rocks, spread in albeit magnetic threads
rattle the sky's mirror with impatience.
Lay her feet on the ground, the young girl did.
The touch of her soft, dampened scarf
kindled the metamorphic calm.
My veritas found its unwanted shrine--
The dreadful peace that let it dine,
upon the well-being of its host nest its swine.
The ****** amalgam in her eyes
led its produce down her wavy brown vines.
They hid her cheeks, and brought down traited drops
of long-withheld tangy crust
towards the lavender ascot.
She grabbed onto her feet,
warm and wrapped with white cotton and wool heat...
she caressed the ornamental fabric,
swerved her fingers along its threaded magic.
Their lacy innocence familiarized her and made her smile,
whence the memory of her veritas triggered in her mouth's isle.
She lay her hopeful eyes on the silver-nitrate clad scarf,
covering the now-calming rocks' quaff.
Of my reflection her face saw only loss,
for her recognition seemed forever trapped in virtuality,
in moss.
Mar 30, 2013
Mar 30, 2013 at 11:39 AM UTC
Virginity
My virginity was bang, a brain against a glass-tinted window. It was child-locked doors and ax cologne. It was too much muscle and a 13 year old body to weak to tussle.
My virginity was a man who made **** seem like an art, the same systematic way the mortician dissects the cadaver. Striped from a name like i was nothing but a corpse
It was the bruises left for weeks. The ****** teeth marks left upon my once sacred body. It that deep voice with Alcohol on its breath.
Yes. My virginity was a ******* earthquake. It was 7 minutes of the worst kind of hell. 7. Where I stopped believing in heaven. Trust became the law, fear my bible. I watched as my foundations crumble. and I knew that this Earth was no longer safe to walk on. It was the aftershocks running down my spine and me, a vacant building constantly about to tumble
So here I am. 3 years later, standing in his rubble. mistaking a kiss for his fist. It's been panic attacks in grocery stores. It's been 3 years of hating myself more than anyone else possibly could. It's been 3 years of
Self blame
And the shadow of a girl I became
Unworthy is a word that takes up so much space
It was the carrying the scars of my last binge.
The night I convinced myself if it burned going down it must be holy water.
Finally Salvation
drinking so much I couldn't stand.
Drinking so much I could no longer stand myself.
I familiarized myself with the taste of concrete and forgot the smell of old books.
constantly looking for a new hook.
Blowing halos of smoking trying to make death look beautiful.
I found myself in a deep dark hole
Oblivion.. My only goal
Lately, It's been learning my body isn't an apology.
It's been learning that bravery cannot be measured my a lack of fear;
some times it takes a ******* soldier to look your demons in the eye and say.
This is my body.
I am the beautiful owner of busy breath.
I'm that shadow girl with a storm inside
No I am not that bruised soul in the empty bottle.
It's been 3 year of convincing myself that This world, it needs my voice.
It's been learning I am a miraculous dance floor of glittering molecules.
It's been learning that You will never have a greater opportunity to learn to love thy enemy, when your enemy is own holy, holy self.
Apr 1, 2015
Apr 1, 2015 at 8:42 PM UTC
I stand there, avoiding the instance of your coming
letting the noise drown my thoughts
allowing the wind to remind me to move on
restricting any word to escape my mouth
But my senses always got the best of me
I feel you
My skin could not contain it's longing to be held again
I hear you
My ears immediately focus on your husky voice
I smell you
My nose has never been so familiarized to a scent
I see you
My eyes lose control but manage to cancel everyone else in the room
I almost talk to you
My mouth chokes and reminds itself that I am its master
I let this mutiny pass with the exception of my words
Restraint is our motto
But I guess I couldn't avoid the unplanned rendezvous of our eyes
You're coming closer
Your eyes filled with determination
filled with comfort
filled with happiness
While mine remain the total opposite
You comfortably say, "How are you?"
How dare you
You managed to make my mind lose it's control once again
You have manipulated it to reminisce a tormenting past
Something I thought I have trained it not to do
Ruining my scripted response of "I'm fine"
Messing up the story line in a matter of three words
My eyes are telling a story
I hope it's language is foreign to you
My eyes
I recall you saying it was my best asset
And often I would close it, an action I'm restraining at the moment
You know I closed it when you touched me
Setting my skin ablaze with the feeling of security
I closed it when you carelessly said "I love you"
Making my gullible heart get too attached
I closed it when you cuddled me
Wanting to get lost in the moment
I closed it when you kissed me
Hoping the feeling will last forever
I closed it when you stopped all these
Wondering what I was doing wrong
I closed it when you were texting someone else
Dying to know who, but afraid to ask
I closed it when you lied to me
Wishing you would take it back
I closed it when you left me
A moment tattooed in my vision
Open or closed, I see it
And others see it too
Your question remains unanswered by words
I will not close my eyes
Not this time
I'm just staring
Directly at your beautiful pair
Half-hoping you see it too
My eyes that scream "Save me"
Louder than what my lungs can reach
For this is the most effective way to respond
Everything made sense
And my senses were playing along
But you walked away naively
And what hurt me the most was the fact that
You
read
my
eyes
Oct 12, 2013
Oct 12, 2013 at 2:40 PM UTC
we could have the summers in italy
the peaches in paradise
the dawns and the dusks and our toes in the sand
but we're doing the vtc and ecstasy
listening to scratched disks and taking shots of drain water
dreamers only think in French you tell me
so i chant the words
je veux tout in my head
i want the nutmeg stuck on the walls in my nose
and your moans in my ear till 4 after midnight
i want the silk sheets wrapped around my neck
the tongues in my mouth
i want to get familiarized with the richness
when a balenciaga shoe hits me and the euros are in my bloodstream
i want to be used to it
the velvet carpets and red lingerie
the colosseum and vatican city
busboys with scruffy berets
expensive wine in busted hotels
chocolate fondue and burnt pasta at the cartels
michelangelo's david and authentic fur coats
tramps and 2 dollar bills down your throat
throwing ash trays at the sistine chapel
gifts of china tea cups and diamond rings to forget the scandals
fat cigars and the bonnie and clyde lifestyle
i want it all in italy baby
je veux tout
je veux tout
Oct 29, 2018
Oct 29, 2018 at 12:26 AM UTC
The depths of my despair are gradually fading away.
My downfall, my shortcomings, I've familiarized them already.
Any wise words could never ever blow a gun on me,
Preach to me not, nothing would matter really.
It was like a century of pure sentiments;
You will be haunted of my innocence and silence.
Discontentment will creep back to you as if it were a consequence
Run to your hideouts now and bid farewell to your merriment.
Shuffling yesterdays and tomorrows that may fall into a fusion;
Have you pore over yourself and have your own evaluation?
Oh! My dear old friend, I guess you haven’t.. it’s just safe not to mention.
And for a conclusion, that’s why you've made that quick decision.
Well said, well done and my emotions enslaved me for an instance,
An avalanche of good and bad memories flashes back without any nuance
But, fearless, I am this time and ready to embrace acceptance;
Rejection and motivation that is definitely a balance.
A blue sky, I’ll paint and maybe world peace, I’ll create,
You will soon notice me like fireworks with just a free spirit
Midst conflicting egos before anyone could speculate,
I’ll leave my mark, a highlight, and that is how I’ll operate.
Jul 22, 2013
Jul 22, 2013 at 10:10 PM UTC
I have been lost for one day too many
it wasn't until now that I realized.
On that day I woke up with a stranger's eyes,
and what I saw I knew was new.
I left my home after taking a while
to try and recognize the face and smile
All the features staring back were me
but in reality couldn't be true
Walking now I feel the shoes
in which this day chose me to fill.
My downcast eyes-- by my feet mesmerized--
had hardly familiarized themselves with the world.
The spectral haze crept on the horizon,
the fog's clearly opaque clouds drew around me too.
I now knew each moment was a lifetime lived before,
as each day was a new life that starts the same.
Apr 14, 2013
Apr 14, 2013 at 3:32 AM UTC
A boy loves a girl
How touching.
A boy loves a boy..
How disgusting?
Why don't you dig down
The bones.
Everything's the same.
You say,
" It's complicated "
How can you be repulsed
By what you don't understand.
I beg and plead
Don't be scared of what you are not familiarized with.
Embrace it.
Just because the bones are alike,
Does not mean the heart is.
Let the heart be free.
Be one with itself.
Dec 26, 2013
Dec 26, 2013 at 5:38 PM UTC
What is it about a bus?
For the life of me, what is all the fuss?
Well for starters, a bus design like no other
The craftsmanship in variation being another
The open road in a child’s eyes with bus wheels of highway just
However becoming a knowledgeable hobbyist being a must
The hound dog stretched out on a bus as kid would often pass in front of me by
In a young kid’s fascinating mind of oh my
The hound bus seemed to move faster than I could speak
Being a lover of animals for me this was a treat
Then I familiarized myself with the silver and gold of Continental Trailways
It was the Silver and Golden Eagle having their own distinguished structure with its own meaning
The royal red carpet treatment of the Golden Eagle Five Star Luxury Service
A Hostess On-Board with Stereo Music that could be heard
My eyes were all amazed with all that came with travelling on an interstate bus
Later I was venturing out with having my own personal collection of 2,000 plus toy scale models
It was Macy’s and my Aunt for giving me my glance of a toy scale school bus which opened my preservation in exploring buses more
Well with a few tot tactics, my Aunt was forced to buy me that toy school bus
As a tot, the buses made me happy and having no fuss
But today, the bus industry revolves all around us
Us being the hobbyist that we are and involvement that we do
This is something we should continuously pursue
Let’s keep the bus industry alive
I am being honest and that’s no jive
As the bus exhausts reminds us, let us be the influential force of the bus.
Jul 15, 2015
Jul 15, 2015 at 7:17 PM UTC
The painting you gave my mother still hangs on the living room wall.
It watches my despair blend into one color. GOLD.
Years pass and I still let my brain rot.
Shallow is liked and I've become quite fond of the ground.
Silence is no longer part of recovering anything that is whole.
I've trained my heart on all the
" How To's" , so when the attack comes I'll be familiarized with the feeling.
You always warned me about MEN, and Dear you stand corrected.
How could I have ever opposed you?
From you?
That's a question with no end.
Still my tainted spine remains haunted.
Sep 6, 2014
Sep 6, 2014 at 4:25 PM UTC
Rest in sunshine's gaze upon you
For truly then and only then will all other strivings to be disappear
As you breathe in and know you are truly beloved, clothed in lilies of the field that the Image created for you
A never ending romance of anchored assurance- every effort to become will be but a faint memory of a life you once familiarized with as you behold and know
Christ fully renews you, forevermore.
Apr 9, 2015
Apr 9, 2015 at 11:06 AM UTC
Blue eyes
Tinder,
Caution-filled,
Catch my gaze.
Across the way.
From my stare
Back.
Strangers,
Being familiarized.
His pale skin.
His unshaven
Whiskers.
I smile.
He shoots
A beam of heaven
My way
And I bathe
In its angelic
Warming glow.
The rain
Humid and patting.
Lightly
Outside
Of my brain.
And pumping
Along with the
Rain,
My heart beats
Harder
As the special
One
Approaches .
His lips part.
The air
Escapes.
Leaps off of his
Tongue.
He speaks.
May 18, 2015
May 18, 2015 at 10:00 PM UTC
this will be the last
sitting
on the staircase
of your apartment building
balled
chipping salmon-colored walls
leaning on the black
shining railing
i've gotten closer
with this railing
than i ever did
with you
i've familiarized myself
with this cold step
the mornings after
makeup dripping
on my lap and hands
hair spilling in tangled dreads
my body and soul worn inside-out
like ***** socks
from not being able
to say
i love you
this cold step
it and i
shared our moments
last
May 11, 2015
May 11, 2015 at 10:37 AM UTC
It was a past about a horse and a Cowboy
But it wasn’t a story of Indians in attack, but happiness being a joy
This was a time when the West had already won
It was some Navajo Indians who became friends among
The Navajo Indians shared cultures and traditions
The Cowboy trained the Indians in how to ride a horse
It was a nature care thing having no force
The Navajo Indians lived in their own reservation
You could call it preservation
The Navajo Indians were trained for battle and attack
Yet some people wonder about that
But the Cowboy instilled that there was trust
He also showed no need to fuss
The horse even familiarized himself with the other horses of the Navajo Indians
Everyone got along
This was the books past back that needed to belong
This was the chapters throughout the book
All one has to do is just take a look
Western movies always portrayed Indians with Wagons and Stagecoach attacks
However, that was the movie’s action fact
It didn’t always happen like that
There was calmness but some fear with uncertainness
People were living in assumption and not on trust
Yet the Cowboy and a horse showing Indians can be friends
But the book illustrated in not to live in fear
A book that showed the story right
What was darkness have shed some light.
Jun 14, 2017
Jun 14, 2017 at 4:01 PM UTC
spake my thirst with the ocean in your eyes
with every particle of you I'm familiarized
your lips pressed on mine, caught by surprise
feel your hands on me as we kiss the skies
and every poem is about you
and every painting created for you
and every word spoken to reach you
and every molecule of me is yours
perhaps jejune, you give me butterflies
feed insomnia 'til night heeds the sunrise
tracing your frame and shapes to memorize
breathing your essence, I am paralyzed
Jul 13, 2018
Jul 13, 2018 at 11:01 AM UTC
I’m scared of being happy.
Not because I’m attracted to the darkness,
But because I’ve grown familiarized to it.
No one really showed love towards me
Until I was unable to do it myself.
I’m scared because
If I begin to love myself,
Will others continue to love me?
Aug 22, 2013
Aug 22, 2013 at 5:48 PM UTC
There are three freckles on my bottom lip,
cute spots of originality,
tiny, almost nonexistent.
I wanted you to notice them,
to look closely at me, see me uncloaked.
A scar rings my wrist,
a token of love from a too enthusiastic dog,
did your lips ever find it?
A ragged line splits my knee in two,
screaming a story, one of laughter and life,
your fingers never paused there, you don’t know that scar.
Tattoos yes, you’ve familiarized yourself,
Bold and black, splotches of scattered color,
you’ve seen them all.
My skin maps experience, moments of light and sorrow
the key lies in my mind, my eyes, my smile.
It’s not a puzzle fit for all,
but here I am, words on my lips and love in my mind
May 3, 2018
May 3, 2018 at 4:13 PM UTC
You were the sweetest demise that led me into a valley of roses. Where you said that you are the only rose and the others are thorns. The sublime symphonies of your laughter echoes through out each quarter of that ****** field.
You are the serene before the calamity that once gave me calm, but now made me torned. The great yin and yang where they were the Bad inside the Good, and you were Good in spite you were bad.
You were the delicious flavour that permeates in my tongue, you melt my entirety and leave me with bitter aftertaste, desperately searching for sweetness that you once took.
You were the joy that now became my agony. That every word you said about the stars now resonate within my mind everytime I look at them. The stars resemble you oh so, you were dazzling yet you were already dead.
You familiarized me with your scent, that when you left, I still remember it. That those memories where our bodies intertwine and your sweat mixes with mine - leaving me longing for your touch.
You conditioned me to always follow you, now that when you’re now gone, I don’t know where to go. What I thought was my destination, was only meant to serve me a lesson - a lesson that came as a person.
Nov 24, 2019
Nov 24, 2019 at 2:50 AM UTC
Limp cloth tries to dance our silhouette to life,
White, paper, teeth, famished for ideas of
you & I- in the same sentence.
The light’s glare, that I should look toward
is imprinted in my mind. There’s a look of
yours I’ve familiarized myself with, it is all-knowing.
You lick your lips as a sign of defeat.
We’re both stalemates to time,
its’ unforgiving mark- bound to be alone.
Always afraid of change, taking place.
Is there redemption? Or are we fated to smother?
Is there a pardon? I’m left here.
Though, the seasons do change, leaves falling,
as our patience wears thin of each other.
Here I am, left to tend
to the non moving skeletons, we both surrendered.
Is there redemption or are we fated to smother?
Sep 16, 2019
Sep 16, 2019 at 7:04 PM UTC