"eligibility" poems
F*ck you for encouraging me to take out more than I needed
F*ck you for not explaining the difference between subsidized and unsubsidized
F*ck you for judging my eligibility based on my parent’s income and not my own
F*ck you for pretending to look out for my best interest
F*ck you for making me decide on whether to pay you, or go to the hospital
F*ck you for harassing me via phone and email
F*ck you for transferring my loans to a different company
F*ck you for asking for money back BEFORE I graduated
F*ck you for asking for money AFTER I graduated with NO job
F*ck you for asking for MORE money after I got a job
F*ck you for transferring my loans to a different company (again)
F*ck you for suggesting a 30year repayment plan
F*ck you for the high interest rates that negate the payments I was able to make
F*ck you for adjusting my repayment plan without my consent
F*ck you for suggesting a lower monthly payment as I crept toward full repayment
F*ck your shoes with the belts on them (Boondocks)
And F*ck Donald Trump
This is America sucka. The land of the free, and home of the brave
Not the sea of debt and house of enslavement
So, Fck you from the bottom of my heart, and if you call me again I’m gonna slap the sht out of you
Goodbye forever
Aug 25, 2017
Aug 25, 2017 at 5:41 PM UTC
This week at work I received a Homeland Security form with a terse note that I had filled it out incorrectly - in 2003. But I had not filled it out at all; this was new form (already out of date by its own testimony) predicated on a Department of Justice form which I did complete correctly; it had simply expired.
Altho’ I obediently completed the form, I rendered part of the form (page 7 of 9) into not-really-a-poem, in lines of ten syllables:
I Attest That I Am
employment eligibility
verification department of home
land security u.s. citizen
ship and immigration services u
scis form i-9 omb
no. 1615-0047
expires 03/31/2016
start here. Read instructions carefully be
fore completing this form. The instructions
must be available during completion
of this form anti-discrimination
notice: it is illegal to discrim
inate against work-authorized indi
viduals. Employers cannot specify
which document(s) they will accept from an
employee. The refusal to hire an
individual because the docu
ment presented has a future expi
ration date may also constitute il
legal discrimination. Section 1.
Employee information and attest
ation (employees must complete and sign
section 1 of form i-9 no later than
the first day of employment, but not be
fore accepting a job offer). Last
name (family name) First name (given name) mid
dle initial other names used (if any)
address (street number and name) apt.
number city or town state zip code date
of birth (mm/dd/yyyy)
u.s. social security number
e-mail address telephone number I
am aware that federal law provides
for imprisonment and / or fines for false
statements or use of false documents in
connection with the completion of the
form. I attest, under penalty of
perjury, that I am (check one of the
following)…
I Attest That I Am
Nov 17, 2016
Nov 17, 2016 at 8:57 PM UTC
When I look at you,
I don't know what to look at first.
You're so visually inspiring its
Incredible.
You're eligible for
Perfect.
Apr 2, 2013
Apr 2, 2013 at 11:06 AM UTC
Falling asleep,
But needing to write,
Too much oxygen,
Or too much right,
I owe it to her, to write right meow,
Heartbeat is realizing,
They aren't coming back that night,
Like a loyal dog it begins to calm,
Until they come back,
And feel their palm,
I don't think to stand nor sleep,
Just here wherever,
Trying to remember new memories to keep,
It's awkward, but unforced,
With delirious comfortability,
But sleep eventually conquers,
And my writing loosing eligibility,
Dizzy, but the smiling won't cease,
Waking up tomorrow, or tonight.
With an awkward peace
Sep 19, 2015
Sep 19, 2015 at 12:23 PM UTC
Oh iOS, dreary titan of technology!
An SOS, hidden in secret typology!
Oh woe is me, tragic symphonic melancholy
If heaven had eyes, and hell had ears
Heaven would see, and hell would hear
The discordant storm, the miasma of tears
The screen is blank, my heart is dead
Error! Error! The bleak message read
Death marches slow, overlord of dread
Bright red head and monolith of Mac
iSurrender, iGiveup, Iambeggining to crack
Silent foot falls across the carpeted track
The darkest song of the darkest day
appleID.apple.com in the mindless gray
Hark! Hark! Once more into the fray!
March my brothers, to full lines and all!
Some may die today but the victors stand tall!
Monoliths of glory, providers of tech support call!
iPod, iTunes, iCloud, iPhone, iPad iknowitall!
Prices beyond reason, reset, restore and reinstall!
Kings of iLog, rulers of this bleak blue ball
Apple support for one! Apple support for all!
Unless your outside your support eligibility!
Sorry! Not my call!
Jun 25, 2015
Jun 25, 2015 at 11:28 PM UTC
THE MYSTERY IN YOUR OBJECTIVES,
YOUR PREFERENCES,
WHO YOU GRANT WHAT AND WHY INTRIGUES ME
THE LOGIC BEHIND ENTITLEMENT AND ELIGIBILITY
THE UNNECESSARY SACRIFICES
THE HOLY AGENDA IN YOUR CHOICES
INTRIGUES ME
LIFE IS NOT ALL BEAUTY AND NEITHER ITS CREATOR
YOU NEED EVIL TO BE A SAVIOR
DEVIANT , BENT , SHADY CLAIMS TO BE DEAF WHEN I SPEAK
I WRITE NOW THAT YOU KNOW HOW TO READ
AND MY WORDS RESONATES TO THE FIFTH DIMENSION
TRIGGERING THE SPIN OF THE WHEEL OF FORTUNES IN MY FAVOR
THE WIND BLOWS , THE WOLF HOWLS , THE SKY CRACKS AND I SMILE
AS THE RAIN FALLS DOWN I REALISE ME AND THE GODS ARE ALIGNED FOR THE FIRST TIME
Words Of Harfouchism
Nov 19, 2020
Nov 19, 2020 at 1:07 PM UTC
Who is eligible for these benifits?
Depends on the person that's interested.
And based around the circumstances.
You instantly qualified.
If you're happy?
You qualify.
If you're sad?
You qualify.
As long as you recognize the benefits of it.
The conditions you're in decides the worth.
And it works better.
If you have never abandoned it.
But has been a victim of it.
Except love is a unselfish form.
It first affects you when you're instantly born.
So unlike many things we might fail to meet the requirements.
Love is one eligibility all humanity meet.
Dec 7, 2012
Dec 7, 2012 at 12:23 PM UTC
do you think
anything
you ever say is funny
do you think
do you feel you have
the adudacity and the eligibility
to be loved by me?
go away
stay far from me
Nov 13, 2018
Nov 13, 2018 at 10:40 AM UTC
Fostered and nurtured like a heiress
Time to part with it a natural process
Destiny of Chacobi written by the man upstairs
Handed over to a new set of parents with similar desires
Grilled and quizzed
Anything goes amiss
Satisfied and confident
That shes found a parent
Tests for eligibility
Tests the hearts purity
Treat them with quality
Equality akin to fellow humanity
Missed by the rest
Wish her the best
Gods own creation
Will keep it under his protection
Never heard of a couple
Whose lives revolved with multiple
Cats as pets a common fare
Cats as kids an unique affair
Jun 10, 2021
Jun 10, 2021 at 3:32 AM UTC