Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Mermaid Sep 2013
In this entry, I would like to underline the big importance of the "body", and why we have to accept it as an element of the material sacred being.

Body has very long history of acceptance and "rejection", specially concerning religions and different sects in many cults. Since the history, the living body is accepted as equal to the living being (means soul) and the dead body is accepted as the dead being - in materialistic point of view. In all religions though, we can see totally different view. The Body is not eternal, but it doesn't contain the limits of the being, as long as we believe in eternal soul. In course of religion understanding and history of religious practices, no one could accept the person as equal to the body, and only body. We can see some elements in the this direction, which are significant for the term body :

1.... it is not eternal - it's subjected to the changes of time;
2.... it's growing and developing in time;
3.... it has specific needs, in order to keep it alive (water, oxygen, food)
4.... it has inner instinct of survival;
5.... it has inner instinct of reproduction (****** desire)
6.... it has unique characteristics in every individual ,special genetic code;
7.... it has system of accepting, and system of "cleaning" products;

I'm sure there is a lot more to be said, but as I want to be short, I will continue. Now from all we can't come to the conclusion, which is one of the most important in aspect of God and religion : namely- the Body is Sacred and It's gift from God.
If we assume that the spirit and soul is center of the being  and life does not finish with the death, we have to take in mind the special role of the body -as a sacred ark, or unique box, which is made to preserve the inside. In this respect, Body is sacred and all actions made to harm the body is equal to committing a great sin. The actions, which we have to absolutely claim as Sinful and against God, as well as against the essence of being are also sinful in all religions:

1. Killing someone (which is act of taking his freedom and his essence forever)
2. Act of conscious suicide (which is also the same as "killing" but you don't have right on it)
3. Act of harming or "punishing" anybody with aggressiveness, beating or any other way.
4. Act of cruelty (which is the special list of sins) of harming parts of body by cutting it.
5. Act of any cruelty to human and animal.
6. Act of forceful ****** ******* to any human being;

As we can recognize, all possible black sins are connected with the body. The kind of some punishments in some religions (as stoning in Islam, flogging, cutting a head of and others, very close to the Medieval times of tortures) are also equal to black sins and provoke Inevitably bad Karma on anyone who is involved in them. Take care, that the act of suicide, no matter what the reason is - is also sinful, as this means total disgrace of God's will.
There was one case (or rather many cases in my country) in XXI century : a woman, depressed from the poor and miserable life throw herself under the metro, but she didn't succeed to die. Instead her both legs were cut off. As we ca think, this act of cruelty against herself is sinful and will bring for her even worse karma. That means, the suicide is egoistical - except from some special cases, connected with strong unbearable pain or illness, which is out of recovery). This woman should have children and husband, or any relative, who would need her help. Now she makes them not only suffer with her action, but also burden of herself and her body. It may sound cruel too, but it's the fact. Here we come to the next important conclusion:

We don't won our body! The same as we don't "own" anything connected with material things around, so we don't own our body too, as we don't own our destiny. It's very easy to think that: as in first place we born not in the place we choose to, we born not from the parents we choose to, and not in society we choose to! All that facts are enough (plus we don't die also in moment we choose to.) to be certain, that we don't own our body. First of all, the force, which create it own it only - God. Here is time to say also : nothing and totally nothing is our property, except what this Sacred body contains! (spirit, soul, thoughts, aura) that is only what we really own. If we think deeply, we could see that's the truth. We don't own our children, no matter that we are responsible for them all the time! We are also not property of our parents, or anyone else. The wife is not a property of her husband, as well as the opposite, but she belongs to him in the way of heart and love.

As anything in the world is changing, developing and degrading by the time, so the human body has it's own changes. Even so, we need to know : we don't own our body, but we are it "caretakers", guardians, and take our responsibilities on our body. And that is without a doubt Obligatory. It means the following: if my body is in bad health, or I suffer from something, no matter of that I didn't choose it, but I choose if I can change that condition or not. If I smoke for example, and feel something is not well in me, and I have cough- just that- I'm obliged to stop smoking, as that harms my body, Any other act - of not taking care -will be a mistake - if we don't use here the strong word-sin. Body- mine or of others- is a sacred gift. We have to cherish it all the time, since birth. Most of all the children are vulnerable to anything, so we have to create in them love to their bodies, and not opposite. We have to protect them, as we want later on they to protect themselves and their children. but most of societies are too ignorant about that.

Examples of alcohol and aggression in the family are millions. Examples of **** and abuse in any country - specially of more poor and ignorant societies - are millions. Example of slaughter, cruelty and anti-humanity actions, extreme movements, covered by religious /Devils masks- are millions and growing.

As the world is going wild, without to have any idea of sacred things, what about sacred body and life, we become so little responsible for our actions, as we forget the law of karma in the nature.

We are much behind, than we were some centuries ago. And the reason is the change of living order and what is "priority" for all human societies. We are much behind, going backwards. and just a few individuals could see the light, even less- to touch it.

:: In conclusion I would like to say: as the whole body is sacred, it's a precious box, containing unique code for us. We have to take care - and it's a real obligation, not to possess, but take care of our bodies, the same as our soul. Each part of our body is sacred, means if I have pain in an part and I don't take care of it, the fault and punishment will be only mine, and the suffer too. By taking care of body means very simple things : live in natural way, take care of the foods you eat, as that is substantial for the body. Take care of each part of our body, and if you notice any sign of illness, take measures to prevent it. Do some simple exercises and rules for having the good shape of the body you want. Purity of the body reflects on all your being. (the same for ****** life).

Be familiar with needs of your body and provide them in any moment! Be aware of pains and the week points, don't accept harmful ingredients (drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, strong medicines, chemicals), and try to live as close to the nature as possible. That is the only way.
As many Chinese wise men say, "Healthy spirit in a healthy body" and that is part of the purpose.


:: mermaid  ::
:: September-08-013
:: 3.36 pm ::
{not a poem} Sorry about mistakes, I appreciate any help!
remington carter Aug 2016
cosmology teaches us
that we are not the centre of
the universe
My life should be the way
I wan't it to be!!
Not the way others wan't it to be.
It is not because i am egoistical
But i am altruistic.
Compassion of love towards ourself..is the greatest weapon not only in life but also on earth..
india Jan 2014
let me tell you something i’ve come to realize over the short span of my lifetime and every day relearn over and again. people are all the same. at the end of the day, when the doors are closed and lights turn off. we are all humans searching and wondering and messing up every second. it isn’t just this generation. it isn’t just you. humans have been doing it since the beginning and will keep doing it. it’s in our nature. we all are insecure and trying too hard to fit it. we do it as children. looking up to someone and trying to be like them. we get so caught up in worrying about other people’s thoughts about us. no one takes a moment to imagine the person next to them feels the exact same. we compare and contrast our skin tones and body sizes. trying to squeeze into a one size fits all mold. who told us that person you are trying to be is better than who you are. most of the time no one has to. we take it upon ourselves to pick out flaws. we cover it the best we can. hoping no one will look to close. we never let anyone in. we shut out any light that might show our mistakes. we are all afraid of not being wanted. so we pretend we don’t care at all. we are all hoping for someone to come charging in and break down every barrier. but with everyone waiting, nobody is doing. immobilized by fear of being rejected. we play it safe. anyone who is too comfortable in their own skin is labeled. annoying. obnoxious. vain. brash. egoistical. stuck up. only by jealously for those who have what we don’t. we are all running in this cycle that we can’t stop. wanting to be confident, hoping someone will show us our beauty, hating those who realize they are. we want, hope and hate. sometimes our whole lives. just like the deluded thought of ideal beauty, we have an ideal person. that person who’ve been waiting on to make everything better. well i have a news flash. you don’t have to wait for this person. no the very person who is going to change you into the masterpiece who’ve always wanted to be is here. they’ve been waiting a long time for you to realize it too. that ideal person is you. yes you could roll your eyes or shake your head in annoyance. but the only person who knows every wall you built up, every flaw you keep concealed is yourself. you’ve wrested with self-imagine too long now. it doesn’t matter if someone told you how beautiful you were every day. would you believe them. would you smile and brush it off. it wouldn’t matter how many people or how many times. if you don’t believe it yourself. don’t give up now and think it will never happen. it can and it will. with one nice thought about yourself at a time. one nice thought about others too. you will find happiness when others are happy. you can slowly show the things you’ve hidden away. it will be hard. but it’s a mountain you’re climbing and you’re reaching the top. don’t be afraid to smile at ones who don’t at you. surprisingly one day they might have the guts to smile back too. little by little you are taking down the walls and in the process others will start to notice. stay unfazed by the whispers or stares. people are always jealous by what they don’t have and you got it. you have something they don’t have. an ideal person. you have become your own.

*i.c.d
if you read this whole thing, bless you.
SassyJ Jul 2016
I cannot fit in these circles they build me
I cannot be bullied outside my reality
I cannot be dragged in their dark tunnels
I cannot be drugged inside their quarries

                         FOR
When all fades away the 'self' has to be whole
When all shades the 'self' within has to reconnect
The 'self' has it's own shell that crowns it's life
The 'self' is an open field shielded from the storm

My 'self' will not indulge in the mediocre cranes
My 'self' will not be spotlighted for egoistical tunes
My 'self' redeems as it condenses in the mist of the dew
My 'self' is my ultimate repentant, a repellant from the norm
Samantha Homann May 2013
Dauntless
an act of being brave

All we wear is black
All we think about is war.
Our dreams would be considered nightmares
to everyone else.

We used to fight for freedom,
now we fight for selfish reasons.

We are no longer Dauntless
but egoistical.

Our faction has fallen
This is based of the book series "Divergent" and the dauntless faction.
What a beautiful planet
That we are in
So many glorious things to captivate yourself upon
That you can't just carry on
So much to take in
Overwhelming theories and thoughts entangle reality
There's no cure to immense intelligence
There's no cure of craving someone so bad it adds strain to your heart and mind
Just the same feeling sent back like a text message from the nearby phone tower
It's a conversation that has to have two parties wanting the same exact thing
Or it is biased in passion.
Love is so grand
Sometimes i can barely stand
But i just want to hold your hand
While the comets try to understand
The true wish
I already have a vague idea
And i want to study it for days on end
But these textbooks tell me otherwise
And other subjects push themselves in
Slowly, enticing the pencil
******* us off
But hey, it is what it is
Unless Is is a woman
I don't have to like it.

A boiling *** of good food with overdone cooking
Describes America
Beautifully crafted people dealing with people who make us feel like ember
I just want us all to get along
But i stay faithful in humanity and do what i can
I play my own tunes, one man Band
I hope you can fully understand
My reasoning for the things i tackle in my mind
But i'm more focused on you, you delicate find
A grand prize that wasn't supposed to be in the common pile
It happened anyways
While i can't argue luck
You're still so amazing

When you make all the Boys want to become Men
From the counting of one to ten
You got a lot going on
The Oven is getting colder
The little games become older
And i try to become bolder.

So smart, you know the trajectory of the dart
Without really having to think about it
That's a gift from God, on top of the sweetness that was already see-able
Don't put yourself down
Keep yourself up
Put all the egoistical people away
Just for you and the laughter for me
You got these cones set up in a line already
It's just a matter of time
Before you're making your own dimes
From all the success you've gotten
And all the negative vibes that went rotten

Baby, i want to stand in the same light
Keep my priorities tight
Trying to sleep better at night
But my minds runs with average problems
I know yours is more sophisticated and articulate
But that's not a glimmer of jealousy, but admiration
I want a Woman smarter than I
It would be make me proud of being the chosen male
Out of the seven billion here
Of course, i would have to genuinely like her and not be with her for just her smarts
But once again, i'm used to be the most unused dart in the row.

I just want to connect you faster than Wi-Fi
But the Estonians just invented Li-Fi
So maybe not
But i want to be the speed of light to your planets inside your soul
Can i land on them?
Just for a few moments
I want to bond in short increments
But i'm not sure of myself
Will i succeed?
Only you can tell
I don't care if i can't
It's worth the shot

If i get to be with you
Goodness gracious me
What a lucky fool i will be
The pretty white snow on my tree
But it stays that beautiful
All the time
I don't know what you would see in me
But i'd be so thankful for it
Cause i'm the best ring in your jewelry store
I cost quite a lot to not be around
That spins me right round
I'd have no more issues after that
Golden, with continuous effort

If i unlock your key
And get to hold onto it for the night
I will do my best
To make sure it's returned
In the right place
You would want
Your excitement seems gaunt
I'm about to change that for the better
If i was the Weatherman
It would change down there
Where most wish they could be
And something i'd feel honored to be
Inside
With the leading moments to it
There's nothing else like it
Dreams of elation come kind of close
But i hope you're getting close
After an hour or so
I want you to immerse yourself in what it's like
As long as possible
Because i'm putting my all in it
And i want to hear the sweet disclosure in your vocals
As the tempo gets faster
And then the softening sounds when i go slower
I want you to feel as much elation from it as a human physically can
Because you need someone who can give you the best releases
For a woman to release
If i can put your thoughts on a Lease
While you're trembling for more
That's something i will never stop being proud of
There's nothing wrong in trying to get what you're addicted to
If all of me is what you crave, my heart and soul will throw a Rave
Party of some sorts
Still trying to lay out the details

The last thing i want is your happiness to derail
And your heart to shrivel up
Like a misused paper
I'm going to be your thin water vapor
Not apparent, but visible enough to be apart of a beholder
Breathe me in
I'm going to heal your worst scars and keep you breathing regularly
Like i'm the only ounce of nicotine with two legs in the entire world
What a title that is
I think it's starting to resonate in my heart
I won't let you fall apart

You're down and you feel like you're not being respected and loved for who you are, but that's about to change with the most given effort
If you give me the key you've held onto for so long
To me
I won't lose it, sweetheart
I won't abuse it
I won't scratch it
I will cherish it until you want it back
I'm ready to open it
You're at your all-time best as a human being, but you're also a Hall Of Famer when you're on your back.

We're in the Badlands, baby
I already took you there
I'm ready to take you there again
Some would see the errors, but we're content with this
That's all that matters
Along with you
In my eyes that can't register the full scale beauty i have been able to humbly see
I could daydream within seconds
How do you not make Angels melt?
I just came up with this in my head. This is so long too, lol.
Mateuš Conrad Jun 2016
i love how after 70cl of whiskey my
metabolism is up  and running -
i know, egoistical  self-indulgent crap,
but it works! i get to say *******
to 99 people and  say: come on in
to 1 - but that doesn't even
matter, given the circumstance
of the 1 being a schizophrenic;
but hey! i grew a beard
after all, being post-25 years of age,
so a fully grow Amazon on my cheeks
and chin, a welcome reminder of:
the Aztecs played football too,
but it was more like
****** of San Francisco mixed
with golf mixed with netball
mixed with the ailing N.H.S.
chanting: god save our bed-******* queen,
god save our precious artefacts from
Hindustan. and Gobi the cabby from
new Delhi -
god save our... a round of pints for the lot
of us! way-hey! charging into crusades with
a jaguar export from Germany under
the slogan: Vein Diesel biceps-flexed:
too fast, and two of each:
that'll be a pistachio - say it as meaning
lime green, go on - oi! ******!
who's that Russian  hooligan with pistaccio?!
one keg-pouch over here must have minded
the safety-belt limit
prior to a heart-attack and you're giving me
all Abba lip-sarge and surging...
    gimme gimme a man at half time...
two pints and a burger in and i'll be
juicing up a saxophone for a crescendo better than
this one...
well... it was lovely to meet you, send my
best regards to your mother, a sincerely;
i swear to god, when i'm done, the only
person you'll be phoning will be your mother.
SassyJ Jul 2016
Energetic vampires crucify as
their feet sink on the ground
arms afloat in fits pounding
their body is entirely hammered
to sit in conclusions of others
Their form is a liquid chameleon
one that flows like a gel of misery
Their emotions are on the gear drive
like dying wax on a gassed chamber

These dark energies are permeable
as their existence fasten death
on our calm natured souls
Their doom is a constant taunt
a blackened hole of dark form
The horn they raise is evil
like an adventure wire of unbalance
For my destiny I hold them not

Their eyes of desire vibrate
like a treasure of lost beads
They beat in a sack and ****
as we duck on the underpass
Their nails are hardened and long
as they gnaw all that is not theirs
Their teeth protrude and grind
grounded in the egoistical trespass

Their palms are calloused and aged
prearrange in a planned plot
Their aura electrified to burn
spreading a life threatening smoke
that haze of the unnamed display
As one rolls like a wrestled ball

Let go and rise up from the witched prey
Tilt the strength and dull their day
Filter their strength from your glory
Shadow them with the light and shine
*Go beyond, fly above, as they live below
Arianna Anderson Mar 2012
Training wheels to keep your filled head
From tipping over; egoistical
You straighten your back to clearly see
What's left of those muscles you showed
To the world
The world you shunned for not being worthy
Of that personality spray painted in fools gold
Spray painted to match that God awful tan
You spent getting in the summer that you wasted of mine
The summer weaved with pushed back memories
Oh, don't remind me
Oh, how the spring has brought the gift of an eye opener
Clearly revealing those training wheels
To hold you up from falling into your puddle of insecurities
You keep in a cup
Behind the shoe box of our dusty memories
Katie A Nov 2014
Never would've thought
of what you could do to me
of your influences and effects
the changes you had brought upon me

Never would've thought
of how late they would come
They arrived a moment too late
A moment after you had enough and left

You left with coldness after I've discovered warmth
Cynicism after I've turned a romantic
Wordless after I've been able to shower you with lovely phrases
Loveless after I've finally learned how to love

To love you
In all of your nooks and corners
Truly, completely, unconditionally
To be able to do the same
As what you had done to me

You gave me your everything
While receiving nothing
No one could bear for so long
Even my egoistical self knew all along

And as I thought
Over and over again
Of our failed brief romance
And the irony of how our roles had changed

I realised that
I hadn't thought of myself
Not even once
I wondered
Where had those thoughts gone?

Did you finally take them?
It was one of those times where, out of nowhere, you crossed my mind.
Ignatius Hosiana Apr 2015
I'll never apologize for saying the truth
Though the truth might be too bitter
For bitter pills swallowed get us better
Even if they mess up your appetite for broth

Can't apologize for trying to make your path bright
Can't eat my words for I cooked them to set you straight
It hurt cutting your ego and stopping your fatal flight
I refuse to apologize for trying to avert your plight

Only sorry I thought taking long would give you time to grow
Sorry saying it all has only helped you with nothing
Sorry you have not changed and you're the same thing
Couldn't float your boat however hard I tried to row

One day you'll look back and realize you lost your chance
When you chose to embrace your egoistical trance
One day you'll realize you decided to be strange
And I was trying to help 'cause I thought people change
Just disappointed by my best friend, he never accepts truth, tried to set him straight but I failed so had to emit my anger this way
Green Eyed Blues Nov 2016
Egoistical is thinking everything is made to please you and if it doesn't it must be bad.
Art-Stars Feb 2016
We are so close
yet so afar,
like there is a wall
keeping us apart.
Two egoistical creatures
who long for each other
but they are too afraid
of their own shadows,
past lovers
and experiences.

We are so close yet
we never collide,
but i want your body under me
and now i scream your name
to the top of my lungs
until you come back,until you come back.
But it's too late,darling
our youth ripped us apart.
Bob B Jul 2017
How often greed dictates policy
And governs the base and loathsome actions
Of lawmakers making decisions
While fooling the public with clever distractions!

How greed greases the giant wheel
That turns--constantly in motion--
While powers that guide the mechanism
Boldly expect unhindered devotion!

How often greed in the guise of good
Fills the pockets to overflowing
Of crafty manipulators while
The poor struggle, never knowing!

How greed fills the callous hearts
Of those who fail to see the disparity
Between their growing accounts and their
Expenditures that they call "charity"!

How often greed displaces well-
Intentioned efforts to help humanity
In those whose lack of compassion is nurtured
By boundless egoistical vanity!

Watch them bow to the god of greed;
Watch them sing and dance on his altar,
Hoping that he will strengthen their
Resolve should they ever falter.

-by Bob B (7-19-17)
Ana Habib Nov 2018
She is not home
She has no final destination either
One day it’s Madrid and next week she is cozying up in Aspen
We did not meet by luck
I saw her first in high school
Painfully thin, limp haired thing with dreamy eyes and a very quiet smile
Years later none of that is there anymore
She has blossomed into a platinum haired buxom and sad eyed enchantress
5 feet and encased in a crimson ribbed sheath dress that shows off her décolletage
A naked face with just a dab of maroon on the lips
She can wear anything and get away with it
I saw her in the airport sipping a cherry  liquid with a black briefcase at her feet
She waved frome the distance and smiled mischevelously
The same smile that ate up 5 years of my life
We talked about nothing even though there was so much to be said
So many answers
About why she left
Why I had to fight left and right warding off pint sized and egoistical men who kept coming to my workplace and asking about her whereabouts.
Called her Ava, Alica, Coco, and Sapphire
I was grabbing for words but nothing came out
I was an expensively clad man who was tongue tied
She grabbed me in that special way that makes a man’s stomach churn and feelt uncomfortable…downstairs
We sat there in brief silence while she played with her gorgeous mane of dark waves
Something beeped and she leaned closer
“ Don’t try to come find me”
Mateuš Conrad Dec 2022
there's that saying: you'll be lucky to have one true friend
when you get older,
perhaps one in your 20s... befriended in early childhood
or in your teenage years and the friendship
with drag into your later life... at least through your
20s... rarely into your 30s...
                            i don't think there's anything to bemoan
about that... why would there be:
      esp. if you manage to find a centre-of-self within
      you will almost certainly find a lot of "things" to be
classified as without:
                on top of the fact that you can never find
what some people (mostly women) call this concept
of self-love... me? love myself?
               i hate myself and i "love" myself...
in the light of words: i think it's more important to
be able to comfort oneself, to be able to comfort oneself
is what love denies on the stretch of the other's whim...
i hate my irritable bowels when i spend the day
contemplating why it's impossible for me to take a single
well-baked **** and forget about it for the rest
of the day... instead... these cut-off nuggets of ****
that turn my head spinning and give me an inverted
headache of the brain knocking on my forehead
rather than shrinking in the skull from dehydration...
people grow apart for good enough reasons they
were close to each other for the same good reasons...
although i sometimes dream up the sort of life my
grandfather led - watching a small town become industrialised,
the population never gravitating beyond 100,000...
familiar faces... all the familiar faces...
                 a thief wouldn't be able to walk through
this same "village" through twice: Heraclitus and the river
analogy... if water is the emblem of time
then space can only be air...
                 i wonder what's fire and what's earth...
                            reading snippets from Knausgaard's
volume 6 concerning ******...
           honestly? if you turn a blind-eye on all the horrors...
i think he lived a most admirable life...
honestly... but like any "apologetics"...
                     if i were to disregard actual history and just
look at ******'s life up to a certain point...
****... perhaps not only an admirable life but also an admirable
person... sounds strange...
                   but maybe that's the only way to read
Mein Kampf... if it is read and written by someone else
in the context of his own life...
                          of course excluding the reality
of the Holocaust... or the fact that ****** didn't actually do
any of the slaughterhouse deeds...
                    you can admire something so disgusting and murky
on the basis of the central proponent of the deeds
having a Pontius Pilate approach: i.e. having clean hands...
Pontius Pilate's deed of washing his hands clean
from the whole affair is like Julius Caesar uttering
the words: alea iacta est... let fate decide...
                  let's gamble... the frivolity of responsibility...
friends aside...
                                  writing might have been a passion
for me once... when i first started to scribble my little extension
of thought...
   but after a while this passion became a:
compulsion... now... a passion is not a compulsion...
writing has become a compulsion...
                    i can't stop doing it: therefore i don't care
whether i do it well or do it poorly:
   which is why i don't really care for recognition for it,
or money, for it, or awards, for it...
               i just can't stop doing it...
                                    but you'll be lucky... truly lucky...
to be able to pull but one passion from your childhood
into adulthood...
    i was lucky... i tried various things...
rock climbing, swimming, lacrosse, rugby,
      walking marathons... gaming...
                     collecting *******...
                              
on the basic premise of what's to be celebrated
in western culture, i.e. individualism:
then yes, ****** is an admirable figure...
i hate the idea of this man being the epitome of
what's evil... i can find countless examples of evil
could breed toward the fathom of your average
in-and-out solipsist...
by now Genghis Khan is venerated
but as the story goes... each nation that was
conquered by the Mongols set that nation back
200 years in development...
early Christians burning down the ancient library
of Alexandria... Pope Alexander VI (Borgia)...
oh the highly venerated status symbol -
yet what god-awful deeds are hidden under his belt...
this masquerade of concretely stating
what is good and what is evil...
                to me it's all meshed into one massive
confusion-stressor... it was a lie bound in metaphor
of the origins of this story...
                               i.e. 'and you will know the difference
between good and evil'...
if i were to write a Hippocratic Oath song
i'd sing it as: what doesn't harm is oh so good,
because what does harm me is oh so evil...
whiskey whiskey no blues...
just like i don't know whether i should
like Madonna's don't tell me is
a **** song compared to any high-brow-beatings
or rather is, a quintessential pop song
i can listen to and feel stupid about liking (it)...

there's enough time for revisions to be put in place...
in no defence of ******... Himmler was worse...
i'm justifying none of it but without ****** there would
be no sped up resurrection of the state of Israel...
personally, i feel there's no new start originating
in the 21st century... but so much was done
in the 20th century that as the years pass of the first 22 of this
century i'm witnessing a plateau-sickness...

passions versus compulsions...
   thank **** and the tiny dove of god that i kept
one passion from my youth... namely? cycling...
even today... cycling up Bedford's path up the hill
to Havering-atte-Bower village's cricket ground...
pebbles pebbles everywhere but no mountains...
and then? a prior to crash on the A12 junction
cutting up Mawney Rd. - stopping off
an a Tesco Express to pick up today's newspaper...
walk in, walk out... get back on my bicycle...
feelings mutual: wonky...
get off the bicycle... check with my thumb
the air pressure in the tyres...
oh no! no! **** it! how did i manage to flat-out
the front tyre? it took me about 40min to walk from
the point of puncture all the way home...

                           but cycling is still a passion:
it's not a compulsion...
                      i sometimes wish i could stomach telling
myself: you know that this writing is mediocre,
no? you could spend the same amount of time
talking to someone intimately...
right... about what? what curtains we need to buy?
what's missing in our lives?
   what's there apparent... i think it's just the same:
i write about something mediocre or i write about it...
at least by writing about i'm wasting my own time...
not having those supposed counter-moments
of intimacy with someone concrete...

i think about this for about half a minute while i...
lapse into my other passion:
rolling tobacco... since she complained that
i was **** at rolling cigarettes...
whenever we would be smoking marijuana during
or prior to or after having ***...
well... time spent apart gave me the right sort
of "itchy fingertips"...

strange so... being in one's mid 30s moving from
memories of being a child and showcasing in the mind
the crux of an existential affair...
the deaths of those currently closest...
i'm gearing up and thinking: what am i going
to do with all this clamour, this hoarding...
it's not they invested in a dowry...
like they might have invested in helping me to
get on a mortgage ladder...

i wake up and always remember to teach one lesson
of mortality thoroughly...
i'll be dead if i'm not already dying...
introspection of all things blasé:

       ******* Horace...

nullus argento color est avaris
abdito terris, inimice lamnae
Crispe Sallusti, nisi temperato
splendent usu.

    the brilliance of a treasure in the earth
will not be gained for you, oh Crispe,
even if the most grandiose would gather
only mediocre use of explanations
of the nobleness of silver....

that sounds about right; right toward an eight...
i translated some Horace for
posterity, time can, tumult in a tide
and move on...
the excavations of our times... archeologically...
historically... is going to be crushing..
the already presented reality is  crushing blow...
time is a geology without mountains and stones...
Darwinism is subordinate to geology...
personal life? trifles...
         this impossible reality and history to live
in... given the set scientific standards of
explaining ****... while also working
a job of minimal skill level improvement...
as a supermarket cashier...

******... sooner rather than later
flu will not be a problem but a collective
depressing realisation of... living in a lapse
of time ever passing... passing a certain dictum
of furthering progress...
i remember to light a candle with a scent of vanilla
and i try to remember that... newspapers
are not printed... for at least one day
in the week's worth of cutting up
a differentiation of time...

i need to acknowledge my mediocracy....
mein eigenes mittelmäßigkeit...
              i'm not about to bloat and blow up a balloon
of egoistical fancies...
          the sea is here, the mountain is here...
so is the sun the moon and the tide...
and i'm also, slowly, here, too...
           i want to borrow speaking German
without having a conversation...
because? after all, ****** was German,
Austrian, sure... whatever...
he tried to imitate the look of Chaplin...

                                  it's still freshly cleaned wounds...
but all the Ubermensch died serving the cause
of the Wehrmacht... anyway...
so... look at me... trying to be least invested
conjuring of continuum...
the past said: no no... the future hardly said
a yes...
                i feel both entrenched and both
strapped to a spider-web with latex
inhibitions of: playground fun....
translated into bedroom antics...
                
                 admirable, the agility of the human
body...
            as if: the human mind
is to best equipped with, having: standing:
equivalent to... freely ******* in an alleyway....

i shouldn't have ever, rekindled my
desires for marijuana smoking
because: oh god, society's great endeavour...
in familial ties contradicting individualism
and the great ****** exploration, epoch...
my god... butcher the "****"...
that one ought to ***** a *******' worth of
"trendy"...
                  
      sorry ******... here we tilt toward
***** and: leisure!
                  let's get skin-basked....
while the returns are? a ******* plenty!

— The End —