Raw flesh drenched in alcohol
Burning numbing till paralyzed, keeps me still
                         Power you have over my being, keeps me fearing

             Your presence destroys me, shatters me
Feeling naked, inadequate when my eyes see
My reflection's negation in you
Cannot hide anything when you expose all of me

Wounded animal beaten without avail
Knowing, proprietor of my pain
               You don't understand my whimper, wail?
My blood being diluted by the sweat of your laborious efforts
Precociously tactful, inhumanly strangling my will

Ever-becoming antithesis to facades, fears, farces in me
Facing scalpels and clamps to my insecurities, my tactics, my pride
Leaving me open not caring if I'll die from exposure
                    Caring only that you're exposing the real me

I-nvoluntarily l-acerated, o-n the v-erge of e-nding u-ndone
Somberly Always Unsettling Leaving me bare

.

Z - A

Zonked Yanks eXport Weird Views Underpinning Terrorist Suspects, Risking Quiet Proliferation Of Nuclear Missiles, Leaving Killer Jihads In Hostile Groups. Forgetting Europe, Death Claims Babylon: America.

Zero Yields X’s Without Value. Useless Technical Solutions Regarding Quanta, Plainly Outside Newtonian Mathematics. Logic Keeps Jokers In Hearty Guffaws  Forever.  Eternity Derides Computation By Algebra.

Zap! Your X-ray Was Very Useful Tool. Sarcomas’ Revealed, Quality Prognosis On Masse. Later Knowledge Jibes; Increased Hidden Growths Frequently Entailing Death Couldn’t Be Anticipated.



A – Z

Away Bright Cinder, Drift Eternally, Fly! Glow! Heat Incandescent! Jeweled Key, Luminous Molten Nuclei, Ornate Precious Quotient, Radiant Shining Teardrop. Unknowable Volcanic Whisper, eXact, Yield: Zero.

Awful Blues, Crazy Dreams, Every Fleeting Ghastly Horrible Idea Jars, Killing Love. Murderous Omens, Portending Quiescence, Reduce Sleep To Uniform Vacant Wastelands, eXiled Yearning Zenith.

Acting Behind Closed Doors, Every Famous General Has Insight: Jabbering Khaki Liveried Majors Narrate Orders, Pursuing Quarries, Retelling Strategic Theories. Up Valiant Warriors, Cross Your Zone!

A Bitter Child Denies Every Friendship Going. Hate Instills Jealousies Knife. Lies Mean Nothing. Other People Question Reality. Sic Transit Umbra, Vile World. eXcise Your Zest.

Albert Ball’s Camel Dived Effortlessly, Flaming Guns Hammered Into Junkers. Keeping Level Meant Not One Pilot Questioned Richthofens’ Stall Turn, Underpinning Victory With X-elerating Yawing Zoom…

Although Boy’s Charm Doesn’t Explicitly Frighten Girls, Her Instincts Jostle, Knowing Laughter Masks Nights Ordained Paths. Quiet! Reason Sleeps Tonight, Unmasked Votive Wanderings eXpose Y-Fronted Zygotes!



r10.6.1

Passionate kisses, touching, arousing, pleasing,
Leaving a trail of sensations, covering
Every inch of my body, finally being
Adored by your mouth, watching you
Sweat and starting to writhe, the pleasure is
Even more than I thought possible, ever.

From moments like that, to moments like these,
Usually, I'm not that much of a tease, please...
Come on, get a little closer, wrap me up in you,
Kick off the **** covers, I really wanna move

Moments are to be savored, with a sweet ****** thrill,
E**ven after I'm devoured, I want so much more, still....

Jolly good friends are we
Only because of “Raf-Rod” pain
Happiness when the assignments were complete.
Not far off is
Sonic,
Our favorite activity, but,
Not with out Dan

Best friends forever
I** repeat,
Best friends forever
Leave it or take it
Everyone’s a hater

Crammed in the truck
Only Dan, Stan and Kendra
Leaving behind the haters
Loving our route 44’s and
Eating out taters
Getting all dressed up
Everyone in this city be jealous of us.

yes, what, an, absurdity...
the apparent otherness to being...
so what is the "other" option?
the apparent "self" (with a missing
adjective affix of -ness)
                 to being?
you know...
   Heidegger writes more about
the universal condition of
being,
    than the particularißation
of beings...
somehow... pluralism of existence
escapes him...
  somehow, but
          somehow: not by chance...
i'm actually wearing a pair of stinking
socks,
i'm starting to surmise a paranoid
presence of a skunk...
but i won't...
because i know that i've been
wearing this pair or socks,
for two days, solid...
    pardon the expression...
                     i self-taught myself
the English language aged 8 / 8+...
and it wasn't even a realisation...
there! there we go again...
  realization...
but what would be more correct?
realißation...
        first lesson, in diacritical
application...
     second lesson...
         there is no lesson...
English is not a universal language,
nor does it, exactly, portray itself
as universally minded...
     it has particular rules,
and particular laws...
        no... English is no
1 + 1 = 2...
  it never was, and it never will be...
now...
                  you, telling me,
that it is, just as well...
is not helpful...
              i want more...
         hmm...
how to put it?
i remember a car drive with
a friend of mine...
and i remember,
distinctly...
how he was scolded for not
remembering the alphabet...
  ****, even i don't remember
the alphabet,
there are too many words
that are required to erode my memory
in order to spell them...
why would i need to memorize
the ******* alphabet?
         education is,
after all,
the prime tool for
memory erosion...
the personal memory...
whatever the **** matters...
   that there's existence
contra that's there-existence -
and such a posit,
is an escapade into a non-pluralism -
given the obnoxious there,
without a posit for "a" here...
given that there is the certain
posit of, existence...
      while "here": isn't even
a being, or beings...
                   and as such:
such an un-entertaining exercise
in the native tongue...
  it could be summarized in even
allowing a man to, blush!
      sorry, i don't speak the native
tongue,
i speak a native tongue that
the natives don't speak...
               not if they're supposed
to be deemed a: nation
of shopkeepers.
                       language requires either
rhyme,
or logical simplicity for the natives
i've encountered,
there is no chance in hell
for there to be a play on words,
or a deviating logic behind
every or any sentence
structures...
        it's madness!
madness!
       they'll bring down
intelligence,
cover it with retardation...
and call in the psychiatric examiners...
as they always do...
        i'm used to it...
do i mind?
      em.... how about extending
my tenure of making criticism
postmortem a 100+ years,
and then we can rekindle
the conversational demands
of said, question?
  what i found though?
the German call life: sein -
or being...
the French call life: existence -
or rather:
out of every and within every
worthwhile inclusion of
an exampled instance,
that culminates in a allocated
revision:
   worthless without
an exclusion of non-examinable
instances,
           i.e. pitiable
the career in dream interpretation...
one of life's grand pardons...
or whatever verbiage there
needs to be included in
crafting a deviating:
  faux pas...
           it's still a question
of... what existence pertains to:
an observation of
being,
                  or an observation
of beings...
                well then...

sein    :        wesen

    contra...

          be present, be located -
hence?                 da -
  i.e. there...

                but... what is "here"?
da               contra          
                                         hier... no?

by "being" there, i can be,
"there"... within the allocated "being"
of beings...
              but i can't be, "there",
by allocating myself
to the being of beings:
while also allocating myself
a being of being...
no?

                   since to allocate myself
a being of beings,
i'd have to subsequently and
simultaneously allocate
myself a, being off, being:
to counter the exampled:
beings,
   name the nullified being,
in the manner off being, of beings.

see how atomißed language
can become?
   see the roots, Germanic in English?
i could have spoken perfect German
if i was only allowed...
but the English education
structure focused on learning
French...
i hated French...
i hate French...
       if i was given an option
to learn German... i would have
probably learned it...
after all...
         English is not a Romance
language... it's an offshoot
of the Germanic tongue...

might i add...
the friends i once had...
began hating me...
after they realißed that my "girlfriend"
went by the name of Sophia...
and that...
   their own girlfriends were
becoming a chore...
   choices are choices!

you can't speak this sort of
language piquancy to a woman,
and expect a reply of replicated jests
of a missing sense of humor...
you can't speak this language
of insolence,
   a language of impracticality,
of, "philosophy"...
because... you just can't!

    not the language of a Gnostic
who drew:

         (H)          (H)
            
                   A

the eyes, above the sigh of
                                enlightenment;

and always, along came the sight of
the (W)eaving lineage of perpetuated
life,
   with the canonical retort
of woman, sarcastic...
                                                    ­   E(h)?!

You are the best thing that ever happened to me,
Everytime you come close to me,
Leaving no space between us,
Lovingly you drop your gaze on me,
Oh you take my soul away,
W**hatever you're doing I think its working !

B** egan the day with only half a face,
E xiled from normalcy with half-dead look.
L eft chewing on the right side without taste.
L eft side will not be moved except to droop.
S tress wakes the hypochondriac in me!
P er chance it was a stroke?  The Doc said, No.
A ll signs point to a common malady,
L eaving inflicted many out the know.
S urvival is assured, but some will find,
Y outh’s strengths have now been ordered left behind.


(C)2014, Christos Rigakos

s** o broken. so desperate.
h oping for nothing but perfect numbness -
e scape from the pain, the guilt, the constant haunting of 'what if?'.

s o torn. so lost.
t he ache inside appeared when the door shut behind her everything.
i should have, would have, could not have stopped him'.
l ost in a swirl of colored memories that render her breathless;
l eaving her scrambling to pick up the shattered pieces.

l et this be the bitter end of trust, the bitter end of love.
o ver and over, the dusty record repeats itself;
v erse after verse and chorus after chorus.
e ven after the ones before, his promises convinced her to try again.
s hould have, would have, could not have stopped that record from starting over.

y et, through the numbness, the pain, the hurt, the betrayal,
o ne thing echoes in her ears, within her heart - it is better to have loved
u nconditionally and lost than to never have loved at all.

tears are
heaving down on
us, a
never-ending
depression that the
earth experiences; a
rapid
sorrow
that eats up and lets
out a shattering
remorse filled with deep
m**alevolence

Ominous tides control my mind
Killing me on the inside
Ageless hurt boiling in the pit of my soul
Yearning to be set free from the eternal prison I have made in my head

Ineffectually think of my impending doom

Fearing the person that I am slowly melting into
Equally hating myself for my sinful crimes
Eloquent words flowing off my hateful tongue
Leaving behind the once pure little girl inside

Deranged voices talking to me
Expecting me to comply
After death and before lie
Depression is my only truth

Nightfall arriving, perishing my once boisterous being
Opening the demon in my soul
W**** will not leave me alone

Indescribable; equivalent to my love

Leaving me endlessly speechless. Drifting
Off to a place of pure euphoria. Absolutely
Valuing everything that is you. Lucky;
Equivalent to me

You; equivalent to perfection. It is an
Obstacle course to put in words. But, in others...
U*nconditionally; equivalent to how I love you

C-alling your parents because you have no
O-ne to talk to or hang out with.
L-osing touch with everyone and
L-eaving all your old friends.
E-ventually realizing that it's not all you made it out to be.
G-reat, compared to high school, but
E-very day you come "home" to an empty dorm. Alone.

Tis the hour when They creep—
Humming tortured lullabies—
Every night, before you sleep,
You should offer your goodbyes.

Leaving fervent trails of death
In every moment you draw breath.
Viral: in a Hellish way.
Eager to feed off your decay.

I** know that you can’t see Them now;
Not where you are, anyhow…

You mustn’t let Them see you know,
Or nothing will be left, you see.
Under shadows They will wait;
Readying Their final blow.

Never let Them eat your eyes!
I’ve seen what use They have for those!
Granted, They are good with lies;
Holding you within Their throes.
Though this is true, you must resist—
Must not give them up, my son—
As, though you may be on Their list,
Rarely is there only one!
Even if the nightmare dies,
Some will remain to find your eyes.

B asic
I nstructions
B efore
L eaving
E arth

leaving
oneself
very
e**mpty

B - affled that you had to tell me a Fib
E -  agared to listen to what you really did

F - iguring out what the Hell to do next
O - nly to find out you have been seeing your ex
R - eminiscing back on the times we shared

R - ealizing the fact you were never there
E - vidently seeing you didn't even care
A - ware of the fact you are never around
L - eaving me for that ** from downtown


B.R.
Date: 12/3/2022