"desolations" poems
all my life
ive only thought of one thing
YOU
you are why i got an education
why i tried so hard to make beautiful things with my hands
why i got dressed up
why i learned to sing
and dance
why i never stopped trying to make a living
why i always went to the gym
and worked out to be diamond hard
why i was polite or inconsolable
why i ran seven miles a day
why i tried to be charming
why i could never stop playing with myself
why i got through james joyce
why i learned
conversational hypnosis
neuro linguistics
magick
and
witch
craft
to invoke a spell
that would compel
YOU
to dance
the wiggle wiggle
naked
from hot rhythms
and slow melodic
sways
as i prayed
burning
blood red candles
during the darkest moon
for adorations
with endless masturbations
to your beautiful *** and feet
for tender red lipped mercies
kisses kisses kisses
because
you are beauty piqued
from your golden angelic head
soft silken hair
to your sweet pink arched feet
and twinkling painted toes
magnetized
to yank my eyes
and be your
**** boy *** toy
my goddess glitter ****
queen of heaven
all paradise any man needs
BUT
sometimes i couldn't have
YOU
and
it velvet crushed me
taught me hopelessness
broke my will
gave me fear
made me cry
and shiver inside
tore my heart to smithereens
twisted my in-nerds
like jagged metal
melting me
as i spiraled
down
into madness
all burning veins of fire
until inferiority dragged deep
suffocating me
shuddery
like
winters
midnight freeze
and howling winds
through
hollow desolations
marrow-less
bones
Feb 4, 2017
Feb 4, 2017 at 1:25 PM UTC
Where's the ventriloquist
throwing voices around
like whistling stray dogs
the voice and the vision
a crystal *****
whispering
with mud in the mouth
the ***** doesn't lie
a yammering vantwilaquist
who's voice springs from a blood cream corridor
with electric lips and rainbow flesh
a lost beast dazzled in endless wander lust
in search of a scarlet women
surrounded only
by aspiring virgins
sworn to be true
by desolations caress
in black ash weddings
with white frilly dresses
weeping for delicate cruelties
they will never know
his father a falling star
his soul
an undulating cobalt shrine
to her
who he can not find
a catalog of discrepancies
a noxious experiment
with a wandering eye
lust ******
embattled between reason and passion
is that look your giving me
shorthand psychic humiliation
for my vile indiscretions I'm trembling to visit upon you
I'm wearing my face like window dressing
hiding the obscenity of my true will behind a curled lip
eyes down cast
hoping to use you like a vacant room
to smear the walls and floors
with your flesh like ************ glitter
too bad
i'm outnumbered by good people
there are sky-fulls of them
agitated with moral concerns
ruining my life with logic
those scoundrels
got pedigree
ideologies
religion
folded ears and moving lips
all monkeys see and monkeys do
who are they
and
were
is
their
ventriloquist
Aug 21, 2017
Aug 21, 2017 at 12:41 PM UTC
Remember
The last time We were
in Dallas together
That place where We met
We loved and We lived
and where We were
so very alive in Our time
There in the beautiful city
Resplendent and Refined
Where we spent Our moments
in love in life
and the quiet vibrant
Love of Life
Remember
That last time
We went back home
to Dallas
On that day we awoke
in the early morning
When I asked if you
were ready to leave
You stepped gracefully
to embrace me
You said We had time
Do you think We might...
please
You knowing surely
without a doubt
you never needed
to plead
We made love
like We knew
that We meant it
We made love
that isn't made fast
We made love
in the joys
of pleasing each other
A love that would always
however still last
We soon then
were on our way
on a beautiful bright
late Fall day
To see someone
back home
You there then
golden and glorious
Happy and smiling
Sipping on a Sunkist
citrus soda
We put the car on cruise
and We sailed away
Slipping quickly from
the rustic western country
To merge swiftly
into the flow of
the magnificent city
Toward the inbound
expressway
Remember the majestic
towering skyscrapers
as we made the loop
around downtown
The red flying Pegasus
still flying on
as the emblem
of Our hometown
Reunion Tower
and the magic of light
The Top of the Dome Club
at the top of the world
Such wonderful times
at the top of Our life
Remember Our date there
when We were yet still young
that lasted the afternoon
Throughout the evening and
all that beautiful night long
For You then my Lady
A perfect Chardonnay wine
For me Johnny Walker
on the rocks
All to perfectly bind
the heart and mind
To a wondrous moment
Overswept yet fixed in time
You by my side as
I always had hoped
Like that very last time
We were in Dallas
together back home
We made our stop
to meet with a doctor friend
He knew what I could never
believe and what I never
wanted to have had
to comprehend
You were gone by measures
You were gone by degree
You were going
and near hopelessly
gone unto me
Yet I still hoped
and believed
The last time
We went back home
to Dallas together again
But still on the way back
from Our bright shining city
to what would become
the darkest of desolations
You still were happy
or so it seemed
You were bright and beautiful
like in a perfect dream
We stopped at a restaurant
I ate a lot...but You did not
You stepped away for a minute
and then I met you at the car
When We got back
to that place
where together
We last lived
We embraced and
You said again...
please
Surely You never
would have ever
needed to plead
We first lay there
together a moment
to recover Our strength
Entwined together
You and me
Then We there
were immersed within
that precious moment
When all of beautiful
intimate art is
expressed in life
And all of love
becomes perfectly
tragic art
There is where
I felt the trickle
of Your tears
as they fell down
onto my chest
And then there
upon my heart
After that last time
We were back
home in Dallas
together.
Remember Dallas.
We always
will have Dallas.
-R.
7/17/17
-LA
-4MAR
Aug 10, 2017
Aug 10, 2017 at 3:57 PM UTC
1495
The Thrill came slowly like a Boom for
Centuries delayed
Its fitness growing like the Flood
In sumptuous solitude—
The desolations only missed
While Rapture changed its Dress
And stood amazed before the Change
In ravished Holiness—
2.8k
Sore’ us
Ooze
‘da poor ‘ust ones
Black scotch and de’wars
**** ‘um is fin’er
As I run from life
‘a from any at all.
‘dis ain’t ‘dey party
Fa’ de’ parted departing
It’s just ‘dey way
Of getting ‘duh deed done
It’s not mystery
Nor ‘duh chance.
See?
Pure despair
‘nings discernment
Evils low ruse
Vindictive benedictions
Pleasures ease
Smell’s clear
While here
Something’s sick
’nings’ fatale
‘ah a‘traction
Sum treacherous torture
Of sentenced de jour…
Jeer’us!
Infectious disease’us
Runnin’ rampant
Of spells complete
Consumption ‘us
Divergin’ opinions ring
Must be sick ’o
Is pathetic delusion ’o
Imagine
Is just imagining
Flashbacks of ole
Smackums’ hymn
Kind’a makes me laugh
But truth is too
Much to rash
That woman’s
Complete
Abusive…
Trash!
Got the world?
Or her wrath
Taken out the best…
Mother Natures Son
Everything he cares for
His family and chill
‘da heir
‘dey run
Only pain and death‘ eruption
Ultimate relentless destruction
Her kind of fun
Yeh ‘dey disorder of disorders
Kin‘da be a gun
Yud luve to be swift
For such ‘da gift
That takes you from ‘dat world
She’s so horrid
From hell they’d tried to bar ‘er
They’d hope to have starv’n out her
But souls she’s quick devour’n
Takes you out
To bear pain upon ya’
Despair, would you’ve joy
Preparations of
Desperations…
She’s suicide!
She’ll get ya on her dream sensations
Thee unforgivable debts
War crimes kinda’
You’ve got comin’
Lest her best compensations
U’d try n try to escape
Marked for pain
Marked not to make it
As prey unto desolations
Of the desperate
And ultimate violations
(She is Suicide
Kind’a be a gun)
Jun 10, 2012
Jun 10, 2012 at 9:14 PM UTC
The albatross sings through clouds
Waltzing in the circle of our intimate desolations.
Pandemonium caressing winds of destruction.
The sound of lonely steps forcing tendencies along the shore.
As Crumbling drops of rain do unexpected time around the sun.
The hands open-wings angels
Break the silence underneath the blue sky,
Passion hidden in a kiss.
Walking beneath waterfalls
Whispers penetrate the alley of rendition.
The good Sheppard strolls between thin lines.
Walls of winter shiver at the sound of war.
Fear of a reliance bounces through souls
Seeking and founding my silence.
Walking the mind of child
Unfrosted and fragile uncertain from the waist down.
Run as fast as you can.
The telepathy of a mother
Brings back a memorable dance with the stars.
As The tree of life cuts through their veins
A mind field of flowers began to blossom
The sound of bird
Whistling inside my brother’s keeper…
Rony Joseph all rights reserved 2009
Mar 6, 2010
Mar 6, 2010 at 12:09 PM UTC
every vertebrae vibrates
and cracks with every move i make
tried to put food in my mouth
but never really eat
close my eyes but never fall asleep
apathy is eating me whole
alive and unhealthy
words were uttered
promised as if a contract was signed
but a vow is just a set of words
its a myth
a myth you always believed in
like how you believed in tooth fairies
and wishing stars
like how i believed when you said
you will always be there
and like how i believed when you said
you were fine
the cuban missile crisis is waiting to be read
but nothing really comes into your head
every second is doubtful
i hated seconds, time and space
the culprit of desolations
even worst than famines and wars
because the worst scarcity
would be time itself
when time nudges you awake
a remnant of an hour earlier is left
in a snap the left part of his body was numb
and he uses his right to hold you hand
to squeeze it tightly and would never let go
like how tightly you held me when
i was about to drown during our
swimming lessons when i was but
a little girl believing
she was a real mermaid
uses his conscious eye to take a mili-second glimpse
and calls your name when he is in pain
everyone repeats their questions more than once
because he wouldn't hear
they always asked if he sees them
because his left eye couldn't see
it was never like that
you weren't that guy in a hospital gown
not even the one who couldn't walk by himself
you weren't him. that wasn't you
you were strong, you could walk and talk
you were the team captain and the coach
a father of four and a dreamer
you weren't that guy. you will never be that guy
Sep 13, 2016
Sep 13, 2016 at 11:27 AM UTC
At the drop of a pin
Changing faces discover flashing lights
And Sadness is dressed by a whirlwind.
In the aftermath Sincerity cuts through lies.
Holding their breath waiting for permission to remain
Angels standing at clouds’ edge cry quietly
As fierce tensions rock the world’s foundation.
So it is for the man who looks in a mirror
Only to see himself crawling under stars
Doing a costly disappearing act.
As a bow strikes a violin so I find your heart beating
Near strangers sitting beside the last sacrifice
An immense road separating fear from truth.
Constantly looking back at an everlasting darkness
Scripture unfolds in my mind
As tears flow step by step through a circle of uncertainties.
As provocations capture my senses
As velvet rises from my pillow
As a baby’s cry ascends Mount Everest
I want so much to hold you one last time.
I remember arithmetic transgressions of lust
A blink becoming a wink
And solicitation becoming pain coursing through my veins.
Even now the acquaintance of our shadows
Seeks the moonlight of Venus’ deceptive smile.
Truly our first kiss
Was a picture worth a thousand words
Hearts pounding
Desolations waiting
Lips setting traps for waking naïve souls...
Rony Joseph All Rights Reserved 2010
Edited by Tamerlane 2010
Mar 15, 2010
Mar 15, 2010 at 2:35 AM UTC
there are no safe words
in love
except for
YES
for we are devoured
helplessly by each other
through a rose window invitation
of delicate kisses
and shared dreams
putting an end to desolations cruel gnaw
YES
to the beginning of dependency
cowardice and war
mirth and ravishment
frustration and fulfillment
periods of ruin and building up
but
the face of time withers all
everything in time my dear
there are no safe words
in love
except for
YES
yes to all that is given
and every bitter pill*
Sep 22, 2017
Sep 22, 2017 at 10:33 AM UTC
*love
is on a heart shaped pedestal
sometimes the first casualty of desire
at the mercy of a thousand transgressions
from ticks and triggers
of dark labyrinths primal
and subtle torments of the soul
body language comes sprightly
from chaotic corridors
a reckless black sea
all crossed arms
eye roles of refusal
strategies of power
proclamations of will
and pretty please poisons
while
front stabbers anguish over back stabbers anguished
and
the strong cherish the weak
impelled to rescue
as if delicate mewing kittens
from desolations cold blade
and
abandonments slow violence
then to reconcile
hearts sooty overcast moon
love is a two way street
and i move on to hold precious you
in pain stricken arms
she
my shelter
in a cruel world
of fire and ice
oh to feel her kisses
after blood and thunder
to adore heart breaks mend
to dispel tenderly, dark clouds
as sun sets a new
and no matter the pain
to forgive everything
yet limping still
gall
a slow melting snow
that we may caress each other
the only
kindness and soft place to fall
we may ever know
seeking deliverance
in each other's
dark musty warmth
to make up
in a tangle of tears,
wet kisses
unctuous heated breath
and
tender mercies
because
love is
on a heart shaped pedestal*
Oct 7, 2017
Oct 7, 2017 at 12:14 PM UTC
A rolling hill
With suffocating oaks
Under the dire grey of sky
Pass along the dire straits
Of the Ded.
And the Ded do speak
Like silent auras wandering
In poetical forms,
From the Ded they embrace
The pain and sad skies.
Slowly they walk the desolations
And bring forth the balance
Of the darkness's and a
Black rose blooms.
Once alive the Ded searched
For hope;
But the self absorption
In the heavy skies
In the mind's prison
Hold a still terror,
The Ded walk among marble slabs
Of light.
Jan 11, 2016
Jan 11, 2016 at 10:19 PM UTC
He stretched his alienated existence
Under the embellished blanket of a calm night
But sleep rejected to embrace his weariness,
Instead handed him over
To the Imperial clutches of insomnia
And his frustrated gazes wandered
To chat with the desolations of night.
Nothing in the night was appealing
Apart from the elegance of bright moon
Shining, miles away like a new hope
On the horizon of his melancholy.
He secretly whispered to her
The reasons of his despondency
And like every other beautiful creature
The callous moon denied him sanctuary
And responded by hiding herself
Beneath the the layer of ominous clouds.
© Badee Uz Zaman
Dec 21, 2016
Dec 21, 2016 at 8:32 AM UTC
One man alone...emerges
seeking to claim His own
Barely, yes
but still breathing
Desolations disgrace
is what has been shown
Clawing up from where
crushingly abandoned
Sure to escape
the horror the man
He has known
Describe Him
despicable rejected
Quite altogether forlorn
Surely far lower
than hopeless
Still advancing steadily on
There is not one
that He can call out to
Neither friend
nor family or home
Ignoring
the laughter of cynics
Oblivious
to the jeering of scorn
The continuous
critical whispers
only lengthen
the sojourn
He is upon
But still through
the music
of His conscious
His soul cries
a sad quiet groan
The total
incalculable sorrow
of all the man
He has borne
Finding
yet always pursuing
Searching for all
His destiny has sworn
One man alone......emerges
Seeking....... and sure
to reclaim His Own.
-R.
(06)
TX
Oct 16, 2017
Oct 16, 2017 at 12:54 PM UTC
I want to see
your face, your eyes
Through the steam of our coffees
Know
every line
of your smile in sunlight
Trace my words along...
every micro-expression...
Every hint of hesitation
The fault lines
of our desolations
of our hopes
Desire--
of our fears
And, in all our failings
The apology of years
Dec 30, 2019
Dec 30, 2019 at 12:13 PM UTC
One man alone...emerges
seeking to claim His own
Barely, yes
but still breathing
Desolations disgrace
is what has been shown
Clawing up from where
crushingly abandoned
Sure to escape
the horror the man
He has known
Describe Him
despicable rejected
Quite altogether forlorn
Surely far lower
than hopeless
Still advancing steadily on
There is not one
that He can call out to
Neither friend
nor family or home
Ignoring
the laughter of cynics
Oblivious
to the jeering of scorn
The continuous
critical whispers
only lengthen the sojourn He is upon
But still through
the music of His conscious
His soul cries
a sad quiet groan
The total
incalculable sorrow
of all the man He has borne
Finding
yet always pursuing
Searching for all
His destiny has sworn
One man alone......emerges
Seeking....... and sure
to reclaim His Own.
-R.
(06)
TX
Aug 2, 2017
Aug 2, 2017 at 2:06 PM UTC
*eyelashes like butterflies
her smiles felt like a slippery aqueous
tongue around tender pink ****
milk lover
she cut a curving line through desolations heart
her souls eminence
red lipped and smooth
her *** a bomb
shattering my heart
like splintered crystal
there is only her
beggar for naked kisses
she swayed her hips
like a fish net hammock
oh summer afternoon wind
beguiled
i licked her warm musk ***
mauve slicked mouth
pink light
her seeds thick
so grateful
thanking god
who knew darkness
could be such a blessing
liberating souls
reconstituted psyches
spins the world
Valhalla
tender ******* bruised
weeping undulations
eager for bleeding
arches
polychrome
rainbows paradise
drunken angels copulating
on silver clouds
ravishing dreams
her **** my refuge
her warm belly caress
adorations scandalous
bent on knees
in worship
every tender
brush of the lips
a prayer
foot kissing
love slave
he is
hers always*
Jul 4, 2017
Jul 4, 2017 at 2:44 PM UTC
When my heart needs a hug
its you I turn to,
when its dark ,its you to hold me on.
When my worlds come undone,
its you I look to,
whenever I think of someone to wrap me,
its you I can count on.
When i's frightened of my deepest and wildest dreams,
it's you to lend me strength when I had none.
it's you I love without any ostentations,
it's you who placate me when i's busy with my own desolations,
it's you who cherish, who appreciates me in million ways,
it's you for I thank my luck stars for every single day.
Its you................ for whom I'm mad for.
Oct 13, 2014
Oct 13, 2014 at 7:03 AM UTC
Glass eyes,
Fractures in the spheres.
Broken bliss inside you
I
We.
You move
You blink the night
Sun born
Sun dies
My light in youra
Darker than lumens
Touches me
Exploding the kiss....
Oness in the bliss
Nocturnes in the mist,
dew drops of intertwined
Blooddrops,
****** the softest touch
Rush of the broken
Feeding hunger
Flesh of lights
I sun drop
You compress
Luminosity
Laser focus.
Desolation together
A hymn in the sunrise
Oct 6, 2018
Oct 6, 2018 at 9:00 PM UTC
Placebo desolations were lingering in
far flung reserves of blind
conciseness.
Debilitating truths were a shiny pedestal
that hung high like a noose
tempting
Them to climb upon the branches and
hang silently.
Like magpies,
shiny things caught their innocence,
like sheep they were herded by a lie
that tasted bitter sweet
May 9, 2017
May 9, 2017 at 5:11 PM UTC
maelstrom of moribund memories
shortlist of long-lusted envies
amalgam of devastations frenzied
i would have died long ago
if i'd known i had it in me
cajoled choruses of conceit
abject persuasions of defeat
adjunct desolations unceased
i reckon there are worse things
than a man being deceased
uniquely embittered heartstrings
sophisticatedly littered hope-dreams
unashamedly delivered hurt-schemes
but the loneliness was the worst thing
Nov 19, 2017
Nov 19, 2017 at 6:13 PM UTC
i have not seen it in the
surge of the next moment. it arrived like a letter from complete anonymity to the familiar gape in the doorstep.
i wish sometimes, now that i am
full with age yet none the wiser,
i were a bottle of wine sitting in hermetic space, where no breaths could go in and out of, as disconsolate light trudges the finite spaces its fingers like a taut grip to a gun, able to drain completely of its poisons.
i have you in my blood
and sometimes its immortality
coils into morbid contortions.
a rally of aches, scraping the sinews well and accurate, paring them of their pretensions, this kinship.
i have you in my mind
and sometimes when the impetus
galvanizes me into stolid incitations, my voice lifts and then vanishes into its shy desolations and without sound,
i pass through the deluge of
all this - of i being you,
and you, being me.
i have you sometimes in my eyes,
when these two brown planets
wax in their postulations,
nebulae of emotions explode
into tiny aggregations and now,
i am a lone star in its celestial ambulation through protruding shards of our battlements.
i have you in this warm fount
and sometimes, like a dog
choosing its memory, i sometimes
wish to forget my station and elude its equanimities and only have in my dull mind, where all
the bones are kept and
guard them in the midnight where they shape themselves into
massive morphemes digging deeper to soft skin and mangled, looking
down on me like a prey caught in a hawk's periphery and lunged at,
where all aches are awakened
with recalcitrance, casting
me away from my own tenancies.
i have not seen this in the
coming of the next moment -
we were firstly, laughing at
the smallness of things, sharing
light and other affectations,
until we came in the way
of our trains and closed their
stations, looking for
a place to go now, anywhere
but home.
Sep 18, 2015
Sep 18, 2015 at 2:32 AM UTC
Sometimes the weight of waiting
Overwhelms me down to despair
When the world is moving so fast
My waiting feels like wasting time
When the winter season lingers long
When dry, decay, death dance dread
My soul becomes weary wanting out
When questions remain unanswered
Inviting more pain, doubt, desolations
Waiting feels like a slow stuckness
When I turn my eyes toward my heart
I notice the yeast rising in the darkness
Slowly, unhurried, directed by stillness
Time is transformed becoming a midwife
No longer the hurried fast train conductor
I settle slowly into an unfamiliar rhythm
Into a divine soul adjusted time
Inviting me to come in step by step
Deeper deeper into the dark night
Only when I surrender to waiting
Only then I see the distant light
Sep 17, 2020
Sep 17, 2020 at 7:50 AM UTC
man says, this life, for what, a thousand dry
holes drilled, wildcatting, a win-loss record,
that didn’t approach, come close, to breakeven,
not even an asterisk in the records kept
man says, this body, its rate of desolations
increasing, the goal line distance secretions,
decreasing, this broken runner, tackled from behind
by the past, as his future caught up with him
man says, goals, deadlines, hamstring him,
due dates, an invitation to a criminal activity,
rub, nobody wants to take it down, his record,
left behind, when they shut Rikers Island
man says, always poor at maths, a loser of words,
his parents, his children, all time despairing of him,
called the AAA to come, tow him away, but,
all the junkyards refused him entry
man says, what separates ought and nought,
a little letter, just an n, that screaming thought,
a little letter, insufficient to bridge a poem too far,
man digresses, the past is ever present, in every word
writ and forgot.
May 16, 2020
May 16, 2020 at 9:37 AM UTC