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Nat Lipstadt May 2023
You who wish to conquer pain
You must learn what makes me kind
The crumbs of love that you offer me
They're the crumbs I've left behind

Your pain is no credential here
It's just the shadow, shadow of my wound

“Avalanche” by Leonard Cohen


<>
You?

I know you mean me!
Me Me Me!
and my credentials are quite impeccable,
actually kind of swell!
I know pain, realized pain greater than imagined pain,
and my wound is no shadow,
but a 12” scar from open heart surgery,
when you ripped open my chest,
and stomped on it
just for good measure,
when you left the room I newly built,
to start my life over again…
with you.

nearly 20 years ago,
the chest pains were so real,
I went to see a doctor,
who stated with solemnity:

there is nothing I can do to heal you.
but consider
writing poetry.







<Fri Apr 20, 1:35pm>

“Wound Shadow: Your pain is no credential here”



You who wish to conquer pain
You must learn what makes me kind
The crumbs of love that you offer me
They're the crumbs I've left behind

Your pain is no credential here
It's just the shadow, shadow of my wound

“Avalanche” by Leonard Cohen




<Fri Apr 20, 1:35pm>
George Krokos Nov 2010
In that land somewhere of our dreams
all is to be found right therein it seems
where there isn’t a struggle for survival
as the brotherhood of man is in revival.

We help each other and have no real fear
our hope is occassioned with good cheer.
Whatever we think, do or therefore say
is imbued with love and lights the way.

We have all arrived at that promised land
and must work together as a united band;
giving and sharing of the good we all can
while upholding this brotherhood of man.

Non-violence is one of the rules we live by
the essence of love we maintain and glorify.
We all live as one in both our heart and mind
and express those feelings of a universal kind.

There are no problems that we can’t resolve
as all our life around love does here revolve.
In living by the truth we are becoming free
and in this condition enjoy the grace to see

All that exists in the world can be seen anew
which is an affirmation of scripture and true.
Our life now is filled with bliss as it once began
in this state of knowing the brotherhood of man.

We do not therefore seek to get the better of each other
but accomplish all that we need to helping one another.
Being free from any unnatural cares our lives are whole
and all that ever happens a joyful experience of the soul.

Awake to intuition we have to realise our ultimate potential
and so everything bears the stamp of some divine credential.
In being as we are then our years extend for a long span
as we all live in accordance with the brotherhood of man.
Private Collection - written in 1997
Name of Teacher:*___________________________________________
Teacher/Course Evaluation: Fall Semester, Humanities Block (History & English) Hopi High School, Keams Canyon, Arizona, Bureau of Indian Affairs (BIA).

_______________ (1) This course was: (A) always different; never boring; sometimes even enjoyable (B) like a sleeping pill, an experience similar to having narcolepsy (C) like being sentenced to a maximum-security penitentiary for a semester; what did I do in a previous incarnation that stored up so much bad karma for me to deserve being here?   (D) a semester living under a totalitarian regime; this teacher would have fit right in with ******’s “Gestapo” (E) what I imagine it would have been like at Herot, Hrothgar’s royal mead hall in Beowulf, whenever the monster Grendel came calling.

_______________ (2) This teacher:  (A) knows how to teach, knows a great deal about this subject and others, creates a classroom atmosphere that resonates with teenagers and truly cares whether I show up ready to learn (B) never remembers my name, let alone my birthday (C) actually hates me and has made several attempts on my life (D) should have his license to teach revoked; can wiring my desk for electric shocks be legal?
(E) often wanders off, leaving us alone in the classroom for as long as 30 minutes at a time while out in the parking lot screaming about aliens and/or Bolsheviks.

_______________ (3) Compared to all other teachers I’ve had since kindergarten, this teacher: (A) is one of the best, certainly in the top 10% (B) has the worst personal hygiene; aren’t teachers required to bathe at least once a month? (C) has the least credibility; he tells me nothing but “lies, ****** lies and statistics” (D) frightens me the most, particularly whenever the moon waxes full (E) is obviously the one most in need of a good 12-step recovery program.

_______________ (4) This teacher’s grading system:   (A) is objective and reflects what I earn; not subjectively based on whether he likes my face or not (B) is based on a point system that is clearly explained and fairly administered (C) is based on assignments that are challenging but not impossibly difficult (D) includes opportunities to earn at least some extra credit (E) A, B, C & D (F) none of these; sometimes I think he pulls my grade out of his ***.

_____________
(5) If I could change one thing about this teacher or his class, I'd: (A) change nothing: this teacher belongs in Sir Thomas More’s Utopia (B) insist that he use English in the classroom, not that "clicks and pops" sound-effect language he learned while backpacking in sub-Saharan Africa one summer (C) tear down that rice-paper-thin, cardboard wall separating his classroom from the one next door (D) demand that an FBI Trained and Certified Document Examiner review his BIA job application, teaching credential, college transcripts and fingerprint card (E) remove sheep and goats*.
Dia davina fan Jan 2016
I once had a lover that on the most ordinary of days
Out shopping for underwear
Looked at my reflection in the mirror and said
I love the boy in you
And I love the girl in you
And everything in between

Later they asked me what love is
And I said I think that's what love is
Seeing everything in between the reflection
Seeing somebody clearer than they see themselves
I said tell Me you love every piece of me
The skin I shed
The skin that hates this chest
The “it's a boy” they never said
The “I love yous” they never meant
I've spent so much time trying to find the in between where there's no haircuts
Or funny ways of dressing
Or anything confusing about my chest
I'll just keep choosing to ignore the way they say
You're so beautiful
In the same breath as potential
As if it's a credential for my anatomy

Instead tell me I'm the cutest boy you've ever had in your bed
Tell me my body isn't woman it's just the wild
Tell me flesh is nothing
I'm made of light
Tell me my light is beautiful
Touch my soft
Touch my belly button but not like they ever touched me
Touch me like I'm the kind of soft that can turn hard
A tin roof against the rain
Beating a thunderstorms refrain into music
They told me I have too much bark
Too much bite
I'm too pretty to fight

So tell me instead I'm the softest pebble you've ever skipped across your body
And ripples are born of my feathered fists and my hammering heart
Tell me softness has no gender
Tell me our body's never knew what gender meant
I want to be gender bent over till it breaks
And takes the freighttrain words of haters
But don't you cringe under the jagged teeth of their stares
**** my love into your body and hold it there
Always write a poem in my body
And use the words they spit at us
But instead infuse them with a welcome song to tell my body it's found home
Everything we do rhymes with ****** rhymes with **** rhymes with queer
These labels belong to us
The fear in these labels does not belong to us
I'm here to witness you try to live in a body you call home without trying to run away
I wish my body was made of clay so I could fit it into the box labeled
“I love you no matter what”
Will you love me no matter what

If I want you to bend me over backwards until I break the reflection the mirror tries to make of me
And find it's just glass
Like my see through skin
Try to see through my skin
Tell me you see me
I'll see every piece of you
Soft
Hard
Apart
Together
Girl
Boy
But never in a box
I'll take that box labeled “I'll love you no matter what” and I'll break it down
Leave that truth around your bones
Until you believe it can't break

That truth will be our home and we can live in that between because that's where love is.
-Dia Davina
Steven Fortune Apr 2014
I tried to be cordial with inactivity
washing it with weeping juice like a pardoned effigy
but the diamonds of determination were so wrapped in mind debris
that I threw away a fortune in potential

The smiles of the platitudes are louder than their laughs
An appeasing of their attitudes I warrant with the gaffes
of an undertaker's underling bestowing upon epitaphs
another deadened and deprived credential

Seeing days in ways that never did occur to me
Every end a mending by default, a sour recipe
for compromise eroding in a rusty *** of empathy


The dentist rubbed his fingers when he saw my gritted teeth
No sermon on the mount from me, more a mumble on the heath
My incisor is a tack that would support a giant's wreath
Thorns of novocaine will numb my Christmas wish

For the sake of universal order I will freeze a yawn
Mostly harmless said a hitchhiker of Earth so I can spawn
a batch of clones to live on hold where all the battle lines are drawn
I'll zip up and in the universal order I'll languish

Seeing nights in ways that never did occur to me
Every satellite a telecast of fault, a sour recipe
for sleeping juice to boil over in Big Dipper's empathy


Where's a pound of flesh when needed? I've grown tired of these ribs
On the grill of soggy marrow, hungry haunts will have first dibs
Call on William Blake to send the weepers to their cribs
Wishful thinking I'll preserve beneath the floorboards

With a hand in nothing new and an incisor in the usual
intestine chains surround my motivation's hot pursual
Don't read too much into my implied acceptance of a dual
with a messenger of fact's implicit hoards

Seeing days in ways that never did occur to me
Every end a mending by default, a sour recipe
for compromise eroding in an empty *** of sympathy


Sound the bugle for my bed is made, I'm rested for detention
Solitaire I'll play in my confinement for the crime of sought attention
I revolted the philosophers in plugging my intention
I would not concede that lab rats had it worse

The satellites are full and bright, the shadows walk on lakes tonight
I'll dream of sleep but eyes will play me in my bedroom's voided sight
Lay with me and sigh and the elastic laws of nature might
halt the quivering continuum of fate's forsaken course

Seeing nights in ways that never did occur to me
Every channel plays the same old cooking show's ensoured recipe
Compromise a minor seasoning in liver-flavoured empathy


04 15 14
There may be a couple of spelling errors...the rhyme scheme was inspired by Dylan's Tombstone Blues, and the title was inspired by another Dylan song, Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues.  I tried to capture a bit of his rambly style as well.
Within each and every one of us
is a unique culture:

Ethnocentrism
reaches just as far inward
as it does outward:

Just because
academia
has imposed it's own
fascist, totalitarian, absolute
definitions
does not mean
that it has final say:
i postulate
such adacemic-fetishism
is merely a byproduct of
propaganda
pushed by Big Money
rather than
a genuine insitution
of respectable edification:
that is
i see it as
a mere appeal
to authority;
a well-known logical fallacy
to those who are in the know.

Tread lightly.

Modern Academics
seems to be
yet another
corrupt branch
of Business;
little more.

Academic achievement
is not equivocal
to intellectual worth:

a graduate's degree
is moreso
a status symbol
than it is
a credential
anymore.

'T'is vile idolatry
in lieu of
an individual's personal philosophy;
that's not to say it's
absolutely worthless,
but it may as well be
in today's job market
(unless it's a business degree!)


Then again,
that's just my opinion.
i guess i oughtta shut up
before Edu-nazis shut me down.

Oops, did i type that out loud?
I'm so sorry, you see,
vhat i meant to say vas:
Heil Stanford!
Heil Harvord!
Heil Berkley!
Heil vhat i am told zu heil!
Heil zhe publishing companies!
Heil zhe holders of student loans!
Heil egredious student debt
in lieu of philosophical discourse,
let alone progress!

Heil vhat i see on TV!
Heil *******!
Heil alkohol!
Heil gasoline!

Do not qvestion zhe dogma;
go back zu sleep, you sheep!
Yet another write intended to be easily digestible by the masses, without any sort of difficult, contentious, or otherwise thought-provoking material so as to preclude any sort of discomfort or disagreement.
Written solely to be popular and to reinforce the status-quo.

Maybe I should stick to music. Y'know, something everyone can agree on. ;)


-
Braden Campbell Feb 2010
Dare to dream your own dreams.
Dare to live your own life.
No matter how often it seems,
the world’s sending you strife.

Be who you really are.
Don’t follow the crowd.
And even when this seems bizarre,
In the end you’ll be proud.

Follow your own way.
And never back down.
Don’t let your beliefs sway.
Even when they make others frown.

Study hard now and work hard later.
It may not now seem that essential,
but it’ll make you that much greater
and be an added credential.

So dare to dream your own dreams.
Dare to live your own life.
No matter how often it seems,
the world’s sending you strife.
Mystic Ink Plus Jan 2019
At the end
Of the day
Let one be thankful for
How many times
They smiled

And, how many times
They created a reason
To make smile

Nothing more
Genre: Inspirational
Theme: Value added to life
Zulu Samperfas Feb 2013
Rejected, contract not renewed
and I hate these people but the rejection still hurts
because no one likes rejection, really even from people we hate and disrespect
which gets lost now because I'm still there and am surrounded by them and
I think I know why this all happened, because I don't fit into the principal's kingdom
where you must have only one drama director and not one and then another one
out there who was just forced out through seniority because she might cause TROUBLE
and it's true I don't fit in because I have gone to excellent schools, even an Ivy, and
I've traveled the world and learned an obscure language and I have so much more
experiences than most of those people could ever imagine having or even wanting

But it's still like the wind has been knocked out of me and now I'm feeling down, so down
and scared, waiting for my next plan--will I be accepted there and what is wrong with
me that I--
must stop these thoughts because they lead me down my dark alley
there was Craig last, who I befriended and tried to love and he could never love
me back and I thought if only I can get him to love me I will feel better and like
I'm Ok in spite of being rejected
and now it's Drew. and I don't like Drew and he kind of likes me
and yet I chase him and spend time with him and I'm not even enjoying
it and he is unpleasant and never says anything nice about me and never smiles
and  is happiest staring at his turtles as they awake from hybernation
and planning his cross country trip that will take all summer combing the country for any national parks he hasn't yet seen
and i yearn for his love and when I've had an awful frustrating time
with him, I ask him when we can get together next because
next time will be better and he looks at me with a stare
and at school a girl comes in at lunch and flirts with him and
i can't stand to be in the same room because its so inappropriate
and his boss struts in wearing high heels and onoe foot in a brace and flirts
and she is married and she gives me resentful, knowing looks
and i don't even like him but this
punch to the gut, this fear now, this not knowing if I'll be accepted back
into the school to get a new credential, the school I left to take this miserable
job. this is driving me crazy like I'm hanging onto a vine, suspended off of a cliff
with water and rocks a thousand feet below and I'm so scared, and every
day cold be another blow and I have only fear and
I must wait and I must build myself up again so I don't chase
Drew, who will only make me feel worse, because he is rude and pushy
as all my friends say and yet I ask to get together with him again.
And I must learn to appreciate myself again so there will be no Drew.
Please no more Drews, or Craigs and the list is quite long.
And one day I do well and ignore him and then as the week progresses
I get tired and it gets worse and I think, that thing, my drug
please I need my drug, and off I go.
I don't need any more drugs.  I need to feel good about me
again, from the inside out
despite the rejection
Ron Dec 2022
What dew on the petal,
Who’s moisture before,
Found solace in my uncertain plight?
She of soft flesh,
Her black and white sense,
Will I see her again,
In the stars of the night?
Ideas do drown in spasms of light,
Where poems lay down to die,
But I,
I am slight,
One with, but apart from the night.
Eccedentesiast May 2015
With much pride, honor, and dignity,
We look back to our antiquity
We were once young seeds that cultivate
To become the best and ultimate

If we were once budding, blooming, and blossoming,
What more can you and I expect from what’s coming?
Paths are crossed once more to recognize and witness
The start from which we’re all of grace and wittiness

From Darwin, we have built the foundation of our dreams
Oh! Everything was exactly the way that it seems!
As I turned my vision to my left and to my right,
I saw a stunning sight which brought much joy and delight

Darwin is again number one!
A big banner read as I ran
It is a great honor for a Darwinian like me
For all these praises and recognitions I see

I clearly remember my best friend from the past
a woman with wisdom that is wide and vast
Anjealhet is now a famous disc jockey!
With outstanding skills, there’s no doubt she will be

She nurtured her skills in University of Santo Tomas
Graduated with flying colors and an A+
I knew that she will, I knew that she could
That in being a disc jockey, she would be good

Another guy, I know so well
In the field of medicine, he didn’t dwell
Instead, Henry became a computer engineer
His accolades gave him praises and cheer

He is now famous for his work
His love for computers does have a great perk
University of the Philippines helped him to achieve
He could be even greater, I believe

The best entrepreneur in town is Lance!
From University of Santo Tomas he received his diploma
He could market anything and everything
He is resilient from whatever the world can bring

He knows how to take risks and communicate well
Anything you give him, he could sell
He has a way with his words that is essential
And that is his biggest credential

Cyjay is a man with dignity and chivalry
And now, he is a medical doctor in military
In University of Santo Tomas, his skills were enhanced
From a doctor to a man of the country, he advanced

Being a military doctor shouldn’t be taken for granted
Because this is what he really wanted
His contribution to the community is significant
Because being in a war is a predicament

An entrepreneur is what Cheska decided to be
In Ateneo de Manila, she received her degree
She is known for the best market strategies
Methods, systems, and analogies

Her dedication for work is incomparable
Her conviction and determination is admirable
All around the world, she is known for being a tycoon
Surely she’ll become better, we’ll stay in tune

Jason is a man with fervor enthusiasm and eloquence
Who advocates that peace is the world’s essence
He is a strong individual who seeks for justice and integrity
Which drove him to become an ambassador who fights for equality

He graduated from Ateneo with multiple degrees
He’ll become even greater, I foresee
His dream of becoming the head of the UN General Assembly
Is a fantasy turned to reality

With my eagerness to become even greater
De La Salle University helped me to become better
I, Angeline, am now an accountant
In terms of money, I can become your consultant

With my skills in literature and finance,
Being an accountant and a writer, I have to balance
Now, I want to venture into teaching
For in my life, I want to find more meaning
LOL. Posting my book stuff. LOL at this really. :O
Ishshita Chanda Feb 2016
Everyday I pass by the twin arcade
Everyday I pass by the twin store

But I never perceived the old man
with his blue turban ,
with his credential,
with his assign attire,
checking the folio of every passerby

But instantaneously,
my eyes seize the eyes of the old man
but he gyrate around

He was white as the winter snowfall,
He was cute as my Grandpa,
He smiled with torment,
He looked with keen eyes,

     But I wondered why?

In this hazy cloudy cover
where the old man is waged
I evoke the days of my mother barking to wake me up,
but her utter ampthy of beholding me dormancy,
let me took off from my phronthistery
did someone showed the same affection to the old man

I awe why he was working at this senility?
I awe where was his progeny?
I awe did they left him?
I awe was he alone?
  
             I desire to blather with him and ask him to be my Grandpa

But the old man was overshadowed
with my beau tight embrace
and I left the arcade
but in a hankering to meet you again Grandpa
Sedoo Ashivor Oct 2015
Some friends think they are so important. . . Essential

They aim to be very close to you. . . Residential

They take total control of your life. . . Presidential

They ride over your decisions. . . . Influential

And claim they deserve the merit. . . Credential

Then disappear when problems result. . . Consequential
A Repost
Matt Sep 2015
And everything will just
Keep on continuing as
It always has

Here in America
I'm told that on the news

We are a financially stable
And powerful nation

No harm can come
To our completely exposed power grid
Some say

Or to our economy

Politicians are promising
On the television
To make America
Great again
And on and on

Meanwhile we are
18 trillion in debt

I went to college
I have a credential too

And I'm still broke

Many people are

And our nation is broke
Mateuš Conrad Nov 2015
that litre of whiskey last night, downed in one session
seriously did the trick.*

the unacknowledged legislators that we are,
sure enough, we are,
taking quills from angelic wings and hoping
for pigeon **** on us in trafalgar sq. reverse
logic of a black cat crossing the street and the no. 13.
our lineage dating back to the caucus is worried,
will we survive, earn the credential of middle-age
and middle-class?!
i don't know, art and work are akin,
although the former stressors are said as:
i'm working... i'm working! but i'm not getting paid!
in the latter scenario... well i think i'm working...
but i'm just looking busy... and i'm getting dough
for that... smiling a fanciful card trick of the
sociable with a stranger passing along the way
of my muffin / coffee stand, pop-up in a busy linchpin
of economy known as the shop gallery -
now imagine putting a pound coin in the shopping gallery
and a pound coin in an art gallery... obviously
there's a 99 pence store you could buy something
and get enough frank sinatra losing the change
outside... but in an art gallery? a pound coin on the mahogany?
you were asked to donate your own trusted allowance
at the door... donate the quid and admire the canvases,
don't be one of those 191% increase of theatre ticket sales lot
taking a questionnaire then booking tickets to
define old school bourgeoise as exclusively theatrical,
this is the west end - everyone's pompous...
or as aristotle said: tourism begins with awe...
all these tourists are perfect actors of philosopher...
mouths open walking with flashlight frenzies
they almost look like philosophers... awe-struck...
mouths open... a pigeon could just about do a blitz
drop into their mouths;
yet something worries me... for such a courteous
nation as the british claim to fame are...
why seriously throw all the cursors and vectors of curtsy
onto placards on the street for reminder... like this one t.f.l.
advert asking the english "gentleman"
to excuse his knackered limbs
of farting into an office seat for 8 hours for an old lady
on the tube? why... big brother said it had to be advertised,
this english curtsey of the gentlemen with
sexism clarified with tampons and public space urinals -
but as all white big bangs go... i guess it's an
evolutionary fear... we'll never beat the insects...
we can beat the dodos the lions the mammoths...
we can't beat the insects... we already know
there's a worm for every **** ******* eyesight scented
talking hole once we die and aren't cremated;
we're in the atomic playground, atomised i hardly
think is an adequate congestion of comparisons...
then if not atomic then humanoid,
or just black-void to stress known origins...
while mama caucus sells chickens...
originally there was only one bull solomon for the
perfect breed... reverse of man the cows said:
you send men to war like bulls to slaughter
keeping the king and the queen oriental to
poke and point at the next living man dead...
we're the lactose ganges, people dye burnt human
remains in the twirl and sidewinder of nature that
defines us... but let children chuckle and suckle at
our *******... but most of the beef you see sold
comes from those akin to bulls...
you keep one and adorn him with india's tear
that's sri lanka... and churn the rest to war...
while the she of each she that is left for milking,
is then discarded among the bull corpses.
Helen Murray Jan 2014
Black holes in the human psyche –
Depression in the laughing space –
Hopelessness amongst us rising,
Shadows illustrate disgrace.
All we’ve put our faith in fails us:
Reason brings its power of war,
Unity of hearts eludes, thus
Severed isolates we are.

Most of western humankind
These days prefers the company
Of dogs or cats to people bonds.
They do not bite.  Well, not many.
If nothing else this observation
Clarifies the entropy
Of this rational thing called reason.
When, of such, shall we be free?

One tenth of the human brain power
Is the maximum we use
If we are to credit science.
“What if…”  What is our excuse?
We can wonder what if we had
All the other nine tenths  too.
Would we not be chuckling, die-hard,
“Just Neil Armstrong on the moon?”

Where would lie the great credential
If a man could understand
How to implement potential
Past this morbid limit land.
P’rhaps we’d learn to live together.
War would now no longer rule.
No starvation, lonely fever,
Intimacy no more a duel.

Man has known, since history
Began to make its mark on time,
Of the other world of spirit.
Some are terror, One sublime.
One there was, who visited
This planet in the days of yore,
Astounding elders with His wisdom
At the age of twelve – no more.

He grew on, no less inspiring
Thousands with His repartee.
Everywhere He went they’re gathering
Immeasurable compassion He.
Miracles his feet accompanied.
Where He trod served love profound.
Yet His voice sliced through the need
To self-promote with loud resound.

What had He that every other
Man throughout the history
Of humankind could find no brother
Quite like this?  Who could He be?
People fight, Him to discredit.
“No man could perform like this.
**** Him off.  We’ll simply edit
Him from all our histories.”

So they did.  Or so they thought to.
But the grave could not defeat
This super human. Think we have to.
Human brain is now complete.
Jesus had the Spirit intact -
Mind and Truth now entertwined.
Change to holy human impact.
This is HOW WE WERE DESIGNED!

If we ask He gives His Spirit.
We can entertain His heart
Overflowing with the wisdom
That the Spirit can impart.
Yes we too can yet experience
Life in full 100%.
Well, nearly.  Falling short of holy
Puts a smudge on every sense.

He empowers with His Spirit
Settled in a human heart,
Livening up the old grey matter
So it works in every part.
Exchange misery for gladness,
Shadows for a radiant light,
Thrown those lies out with the garbage
And the long depressive night.
I'm seeing so many poems about depression, misery, suicide on this site.  Believe me I understand this scenario but there is a way to deal effectively with it.  My destiny is not depression, or the black dog, but the Light of Life.
monetary means conquered*
all
lots of dollars were the power
ball
dominance bought by wads
galore
how they pleasured in the
store

suit cases of currency given
for treatment ever preferential
which ensured they'd be viewed
with more favourable credential

the complexion of a situation
can
change
when there's bucks proffered
in
exchange

business was done
this
selective
way
and it always carried
the
mega rating's
  *day
Roxanne Pepin Sep 2010
Introducing the subconscious
Where the ideas lie
And the person differs
From the abnormal.
A contrast with the formal
Unbeknownst to anyone credential
Live high and mighty
Get through the fighting
Nothing lies above
Nothing lies beneath
Introducing the subconscious
Where the ideas lie.
© Roxanne Pepin 2010
www.r0013.wordpress.com
Sabila Siddiqui Jul 2019
Fear,
you make my body quake
leave cracks in my esteem
and invite doubts
to harbor and fester as you
send a shiver down my spine
to drown my fire.

Fear,
you soak up all the syllables.
that I was to mutter
so I stumble
and stand there mute
with my stomach heavy with nausea.

Fear,
I take guilt bites
as I am lost in panicky howls.
while you lay out procrastination unevenly
and drink from the reservoir of my energy.

Fear,
you trick my potential
wipe out my credential
leave nothing but
raspy and rough remnants for me
to draw from.

Fear,
you rule the beats of my heart
pulling me out at the first hello.
you grip me,
whisper obscurely
whilst darkness grasps my sense
and wraps my dreams with dark matter.

Fear,
with you my my soul
remains parched like the desert,
and my brain wrecked with nervosity
as the sensation spreads across my body.

But Fear,
I want to be one step ahead
of you this time.
I don’t want my fate to collapse
beneath your decisions.

Fear,
I want to spell courage louder
than your stifling whispers
as I embrace opportunities
regardless of how daunting and risky you paint it to be.
Vernon Waring Jul 2015
We are assembled here
this May evening of 2006
to celebrate our own
Leading Lady of
American Letters.

The tall, slender author,
her classic looks
so reminiscent of
ladies in an elegant
Victorian era salon,
reads one of her
earlier short stories
at the Free Library
of Philadelphia.

She speaks with such
feeling and precision,
we close our eyes
and envision her
youthful heroine's
anxiety and naivete
in that familiar setting
of an upstate
New York town.

Later, in another room
of the library,
I will meet her
too briefly at a
book signing.
She stands to greet me,
smiling so pleasantly
and asks, "What do you do?"
in the friendliest way.
I reply "I'm a
proofreader," somewhat
embarrassed at my
flimsy Dickensian
credential.

This was my own
personal brush
with greatness
and I find myself
tongue-tied with
hero worship.
She is gracious
and fragile, exquisitely
feminine and warm and
I would learn I was
not the only groupie
in the library throng
that evening -
a multitude of fans
lined up to meet
the literary icon.

Joyce Carol Oates,
as her critics
rightly rhapsodize,
is a force of nature,
a uniquely powerful
writer whose brilliance
rests not just in the
singularly American
landscapes she paints,
not just in the
idiosyncratic
characters who people
her storytelling,
but in the creation
of rich personal
moments of intimacy,
of revelation and insight;
she makes us witnesses,
eavesdroppers, to her
characters' deepest
thoughts, longings,
her voice reaches out
to us from the pages,
a voice as poignant
as a mother's in the
gloom of night,
reading to her children
just before prayers
are murmured and
sleep tiptoes in.

The path of
literary greatness
leads us to her heroes...
James Joyce, Emily Bronte,
Thoreau, Faulkner,
Flaubert, Hemingway;
like each one of these
celebrated wordsmiths,
she is an iconoclast,
an original...
unique,
incomparable,
our own
quintessential
national treasure.
Matt Nov 2015
I find myself wanting
Some type of different experience

Friendship
And maybe hugging
A female friend

But I doubt that will come

Are society is so isolating

I am paid twice the minimum wage
Kind of lame
To spend all that money on college
And a credential

Just to barely make enough
To pay my bills

Hopefully when I get full time
I can make enough for my own
Small apartment

I'm content
I'm not complaining

I didn't become
A teacher for the money

I just think
That I should be paid
More than twice the minimum wage

It is in fact not even
Twice the minimum wage

This country
Doesn't have a future anyhow

Just store food
And get ready for a collapse I guess
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2016
i still think
                                           that literature's       "      "
is better assumed as
     mathematics'                             ~
or what's simply abbreviated
                                    ambiguity, sort of,
as apologetics for Heidegger is concerned -
     that there is moral ambiguity in the interpretation
  of Dasein as ecstasis about, e.g. the war in Syria:
    but is that a self-serving ecstasis for the fact per se
    or that other interpretation for concern, which
with the above mentioned notation is a lack of,
       as in for peace to resume as common sense
      and less of what's suitable away from the apathetic
route, and indeed the ecstasis to shout for forced peace
            rather than see it all as without your moral
judgement with you being no moral agent in the matters
     that themselves have to resolve, without your input.
- and it always comes like this, cute little things,
or how you can condense all the theories surrounding
the psychological trinity into superego,
or that verse by Philip Larkin
        that begins wonderfully:
they ******* up, your mum and dad
  (this be the verse) -
  and the two other bits and bobs,
the Gemini scalpels -
       depending on how you wish
to make incisions into thought (or
any other moral quality, for that matter) -
do you wish to be a surgeon,
your own man as it were, and with the ego
cut your own story?
        or perhaps you'd prefer a butcher
psychiatrist lob pork chops of you
    with his depersonalising id?
         after all, he will say:
the laws of the state demands you have
so sort of i.d. (identification credential);
only the rich, a Kaiser Wilhelm of Germany
could ever fit the programme of Herr Doktor,
         Ode Odi Oedipus            Olé!
Herr... auto-****** means i have enough
******* on my ******* that
a gentle rub of the ******* gets me all
hot & bothered and juiced up?
   after all, the maidens of Egypt have
to have theirs cut and endure docile mantras
of why, why, why.
    and please, Herr Doktor, when
will Latin actually die? they keep saying
Latin is dead, familiarly like Nietzsche's god
is dead... but Latin isn't remotely dead,
  the blimmin' alphabet is still here,
how do i know? well, d'uh, i'm using it...
you say id             i say es
   you say ego               i say self
(then you make a Frasier joke about elves)
       and we go on and on in
this cat               mouse              game,
it's all a matter of fashion,
      they all said the above Mr. N was a
great stylist, after all an aesthetician is,
   and now they blabber on as if talking
Gucci pooch'e - this is dead, that is dead,
it's a fashion industry: but less obvious,
more inclined in       what you talk about
than what        you wear.
             said,
   '            ', he said
     "        ", he thought he said,
                                 or the narrator said it for him,
                         or the narrator thought he said it
for him, when in fact he didn't say anything
    nor the fact that there was anyone to actually
  say anything at all -
                 kinda a Beckett Watt moment.
           the Watt waltz, and that truly is a mind
   ******; as i sometimes wish narration was
kept in the Irish / Polish standard of notation
- and off we went to the poll booths.
- aye, and we vetoed rather than voted.
who would have thought that two ****-heads would
make the unlikely politicised duo of escapees.
             akin to Ulysses - but i get the
picture, the hyphenated compound words not
yet approved to be actual compounds,
        cite the Oxford committee for doing
****** paperwork, or none at all to modernise
  the Anglo-Smackson.
      ****... in the real world this could be
called pimping - but here... mm hmm:
peacock exfoliation - and i know it, so it's less
smarty and cared about: just... done.
yes, it usually starts rigid, that bit about
    Latin not being dead is extremely rigid
in composition - it's a sore the size of a ****-steak
   on my forehead -
            as is my lack of desperate attempts
to applaud Delmore Schwartz attempt to bring
    Finnegans Wake (the pearl in the crown
of all things difficult) to the people and the swine...
            so he didn't think Ulysses was
difficult enough? jeeze! and this alone reads like
a modern aversion to how young people are
drawn into mutilating themselves -
                  rampant ids             less acknowledged
Larkin moments in discussion:
        or perhaps the opera of suburban happy-go-happy-do?
       kids without even the foggiest of
the lysergic acid of Hanna-Barbera
                        and the Loons -
                                the fun-go-to lunacies of
cartoon network 20th century 90s...
                                       and hell: when we actually
        lived in times of toy story toys;
                 these days i'm getting the impression
a girl is probably going to play with a ***** than
   a barbie - must be the pink and the blonde
                         matched by the how many? jokes
    in mouth as in look doppio standards of not getting it;
but of course, the many other stereotypes.
            well, us kids, back then,
                          ah...         nothing like that coming again.
       summary... in ref. to the title,
   it's next days shrapnel from the debauchery of
the previous night, or why i write drunk and sometimes
get lucky sobering up and do not indulge in the bottle
      and not write something, and end up not writing
something like William Styron's Darkness Visible,
    who also drank, but didn't write and drink,
                  drank on the sobering up note, like
this poem.
well, i figured, if i don't exploit the drinking
       as a sedative unwinding and be bashful
then, resolutely, the sobering up me is still making
  that blood wine:
                          and never did liquidating
   two kilograms of caster sugar in half a litre of water
             feel like handling mercury.
Matt Jul 2015
Protestant Guilt

I do not
Seem to have the
Protestant work ethic

I think I appear lazy
(To the taxpayer)
Yes I live in my parent's home
(Eeeek)

I will wait
And not eat
With my family

If you don't work
You don't deserve to eat!

A 30 year old man
Without a career
My goodness

And I've tried
I've tried
I got myself
A bit of an education

Heck, I ain't a genius
But I'm kinda smart too

I read Aristotle and Camu

Got a BA and a credential
As well

In this life
We all have
A story to tell

And my story
Won't include a job
With minimum wage

So I'm fairly educated
And with no dough

Content to lay about
Underneath
Park trees

Tao is wise mother

Don't you know?
Matt Feb 2015
I will do my sacred duty

How dare they!
Reject me

Unemployed
I try again and again
I am a smart man

I love history and philosophy
I have a B.A. and a teaching credential
I was almost accepted into a Masters of social work program too
I made it to the waiting list

I can't even pay my bills
And I'm almost 30!

I will stand
I do not tire
I will not rest

I must not fail
In performing my sacred duty

I will not fail
In performing the duties
That were assigned to me
By the Creator
Matt Jan 2015
I need money again
I don't have the money again

What a ******* up system
I work my whole life
Go to college and do well there
Get a credential and get straight A's

And I get absolutely nothing
No job and no money!
Matt Sep 2014
This little Toshiba netbook
Is having some problems functioning

I always took good care of it
I think it's four years old by now

I thought I would be able to afford a regular computer by now
At least I had a few interviews

Still no luck
Oh well

If the powers that be
Won't hire me
Then ***** it

I have a B.A. Plus 16 months for the credential
I still live here at home

I will have lived here 17 years this upcoming October
Looks like it will be another year or so
Before I finally move out
I'm not really sure?

Geeze I'm a living saint for goodness sakes
A ****** and never been drunk too

I sit in my room watching history documentaries
And reading philosophy too

I don't expect to fall in love
I just want to make a small salary
Enough to have my own small apartment

I wish I had some more good friends
Hmm well I guess I'll go chip golf ***** now
And listen to the golden sayings of Epictetus

You have to love yourself
You have to believe in yourself
Because everything is so hard
Matt Jan 2015
Are you going through a hard time?

Do you feel emptiness and pain
Like me?

It's okay
We are human beings
Here hold my hand

We will not break
We will fight on
We remain unbroken

We are poor
We are tired
We are searching
Searching for meaning
Searching for something

Oh this life
This life
Somebody should have told me
I am learning for myself
Are you seeing like me
Seeing how hard it can be?

I am more
More than just a body
I am not a materialist

We are fighting
We are fighting
We are fighting

I am fighting
I am poor
And as hard as I have studied
As much as I have studied
I still can't find a job

We are fighting
Don't stop fighting
And why do I breath heavy like this?
It must be life that weighs heavy on me

Still Still
I do not want pills
Or Sympathy
Just more hard times
Get up, get up!
We are still here
We are still Fighting
This is earth
We are strong
We will not break
We will not break

I went to college
Then I got a credential
Still no job
Still no job
Almost 30, still no job

These dollars are practically worthless!
Quantitative easing
The Fed
What a miserable institution
Printing more and more
Hyper inflation
Worthless American dollars

Let's be strong
Let's get strong
They cannot break
They will not break the iron will
The iron will
Forged in fires
Of endless hours alone
The emptiness alone alone
There was no one  
No one
Just some hope or something

Something that no one can ****
I am man!!!!!!!
This is earth!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not a super soldier
My body ages
My weak frail human body
Work out
Again and again
Again and again

Are you poor like me
Do you look for love
But you can't find it?
People can be terrible
Forget them

You are still here
Still here and still fighting
You cannot take that away

Say your name!
I am Matt
Almost 30 earth years
Motherf

Come on!!!!!!!
I'm ready for more pain
More emptiness
I'm ready
I am ready
I will not break

Spinning earth spins round and round
Human bodies go up and down
It's a crazy ***
* place

I try to do what is right
To be good
I show love to people
Are you like me?

I am earth man
I am earth man
I will not fear
I do not fear

I keep the times
I keep the times
I am the keeper
Matt Jul 2015
The Young American
That's me

Wonders what it would
Be like

To have more than three
Good friends
That he sees
Only once every few months

Such a good human being
I am

And yet I cannot find
The companionship
Of other people

And I don't know
Where to go
Or how to meet
People

Maybe meetup.com?
I joined there once

I can tell people
Such interesting
Things about myself

Like how
I was able to pay off my car
After four years

I put about 9 grand down
It is a 2010 Civic

And I can tell them about
How I borrowed
18,000 to get
A credential

And how I can't
Even find part time
Work as a teacher

And I can tell them
How I enjoy avocados
And every kind of fruit

And I can also tell them
How ******* we all are
Here in America
:)
Matt Jan 2015
Stuck At the library
Waiting for my car
I took a few classes here
About 10.5 years ago
I was broke then

I am broke now
After getting my B.A.
Then my credential

F* this
Credit limit almost reached

Wandering around the library
Browsing through a book about the origins of the Korean War.

Life
Blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Spinning world spins round and round
So is the afterlife fun
This places *****

Do we do fun stuff there
Can I meet a beautiful woman there
Feel loved by her

Hope so

P-town
Is the place to be
Yes
I'm chillin' at the world re-known
PCC
Matt May 2015
Alone at the library

I will continue dictating the article entitled,

"Unlimited War and Social Change:

Unpacking the Cold War's Impact"

I was sold a bill of goods

I went to college
And spent another 16 months
To get a credential

And I still don't have a dime
Hundreds of thousands of dollars
Spent on my education

You know what
Just **** it
**** this miserable state
This poor state
Jobless state
Worthless economy
Ruined nation

I just don't give a ****
If I ever work again
Sure I'll try

But I tell you I have learned with all my education
It means nothing in this economy
So **** it

Happy to read articles all day
Happy to take pictures of the birds

Content to live in that room in my parents home

They were going to paint
My Room
Lol!

I had the painter just touch up the trim
I've been through enough ****

I'm tough now
And mean

My therapist she left

Bird in a cage
Talons sharpened

You threaten me or
Argue with me

Eeeeek eeeeek,
The high pitched cry of a angry falcon!

Righteous anger

For all my education
I don't get anything
Not a single dime!

Be careful with
An angry bird
Matt Jun 2016
I've just got
To make more money
Just got to work
40 to 50
Hours a week

Just got to

I don't know why
No one can tell me why

That's just how
This earth system operates

I've just got to
Love full time work

And the American Dream
And blah blah blah blah

I've looked for work
I can't find any

There are thousands of other
People like me
With a college degree
And a teaching credential

They don't
Pay us
Hardly anything

I don't make enough
For my own apartment

I don't make enough
But I've just got to
Got to keep on trying

To find full time employment

Blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah blah

The ego is an illusion
The Taoist is understood

Here in America

Loud sounds, shouting
Flashing lights,
Going here going there
Busy bodies

I'm just here to do
The minimum

I don't care
If I'm hated
By everyone

Who cares

I'm tired
And I'm lonely

And I don't have
Any female friends

Blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah

I sit in front of my Ipad
Watching documentaries
There are no people here

And no
It's not
A "nice day"

No matter how much
She says that

It's not nice at all

Just another day
Alone in America
The initial concussion was prudently timed,
but not as tremendous as the distorted appearance of
the authentic invisible line that rules the blur side of site.
Subsequently, Would the dead dot find out ?

The deception was born three centuries earlier than the date
On the Earth’s birth credential,the Calendar!
which gave a power exemption to the hands of the eager,
Had we been trapped...
In logic, like psychology mistaken for philosophy
And why did They... what was in it for Plato and
Will it take us all our lives to figure it out ?

The Psych has the source of pride,
“That which truly is can’t come into being,
Can’t change in any respect, and can’t perish.  
That which becomes never truly is.
So, things that come into being, alter and eventually perish never really exist.”

On the other grip, The uninformed's portion was no worse then
Than it is now.
The distribution of labor made sense
In theories developed by the ancestor
of the school of speculation
Who grasped the rationale their origin had used
To ****** and deceive, reduce and receive.

The arrangement looped itself, the same case
In a different procedure complying the conventions of
A popular character.
The cold of a desolate native.
Imprisonment, Mentally accredited and
While there’s hardship still on the bars and,
In the window, a clear path is always vivid.
The sight was Buried earlier.

Now, The panic is absent.
But the pain still stands.
And the blade, The pistol,and the Cheap prescriptions
for the wretched are only a few decisions away.
Matt May 2015
Hey
Guess what I found out the other day?

Submit proof of employment this year
Or the loan program will take the funds away

Well. that's okay
I'd like to work in a low performing school
That way they can help me pay a bit of the student loans back
The problem is I can't find a full time job

But I got the credential in summer of 2013
And I still can't find a job

Oh well, I doubt I ever will
Matt May 2015
I can't find work
There are no jobs
Day after day
After month, after month

I'm tired of this
This state
Where you go to college
Then you get a credential

And I still can't earn a dime
Oh well
There are always the mountain trails I suppose
Matt Aug 2015
You can go to college to get a B.A.
Maybe a credential or Masters too

But it's highly likely
That you will be *******

America
A big cra* hole now

No money, no jobs
Holy cow

American middle class
Non-existent now

And it will only get worse

Don't you see
No future here in America
For you and me

And it doesn't matter
If you have three beamers or benzes
Or expensive shades
With nice lenses

When everything goes downhill
You're just another person
Trying to get enough to eat

— The End —