I may never change the world with words.
I may never write a string of syllables  
that a high school kid will be forced to memorize.  

But I know that I must try
because the world is a wonderfully awful
brutally beautiful place and everyday
I look at something I saw yesterday
and still it shakes me.

And maybe I write too many poems
about too few different things like
women that get stuck in my head
the way poems sometimes get stuck in my pen
or... did I mention the women?

But I'm going to keep writing
about the same four things
or the same one girl
until I can read it back to myself
and instead of it reminding me of what I ment
it will show you what I saw.

Because in the end you gotta do
what you gotta do and I HAVE to do this
and I don't care how much I was
called a ***** in high school or last week.
And it doesn't matter if I meet somebody in a bar
and when I say I'm a poet they smile and walk away
and never look back.

Because I AM a poet
not because I made the choise
but because I was born this way

and before you comment on how
I'm stealing the slogan
of Mamma Monster
I'm going to say that it's not about
being gay, or the wrong color,
or being sluttier than most people like,
or being crazier than most people can handle,
it's about absolutely owning who you are,

because deep down we're all a little queer
and you can let your oddities make you invisible
or you can make them turn you into a monster
and let you be the thing that goes bump
in the middle of the day.

And if you don't like it
I apologize for this unpoetic end
but you can go **** yourself.

I travel trough the heavy rain
I sit lonesome on a lonely train
I play blues
These days are grey,  these nights  are blue
my mind keeps coming back to you
I play the blues

I travel with desire
Past houses lit on fire
I play jazz
Windows lit by sundown
My train-seat old and rundown
I play jazz

Rainbow roads in colored blurr
Pretty little towns I'm sure
I play swing
Past mirror waves and open sky
My stomach tingles, wonder why I
Play swing

***** feet on ***** train
Skin so white I see my veins
I play punk
Impatient taps and flickering lights
Soon the day will turn to night
I play punk

Head in the clouds, mind at ease
Longing for the morning breeze
I play Pink Floyd
Memories hanging from branches
Passengers sharing brief glances
I play Pink Floyd

I'm coming home, I'm on my way, but I travel still...
I travel not by force... yet not by will
Music of choise as soundtrack to the silent film
beyond the windowsill

Life can just taste like mud
like your licking it off the steal toe boot
that kicked you to the floor in the first place,
yet we all stand up or die, and it is a sad choise
but it can turn few into sunset admiring warriors
and others in to those whom can survive an oil infested
jungle. ether way falling into a personal void like getting
lost on the moon is how it can all start...getting lost in the jungle
drowning in the oil, it keeps going life, even when we stop
and sometimes we just look up in the sky and eat it.

My friends and I - what irony!
When you see people come and go
then wonder when your turn will show.
Just sit and wait
like on a ticking bomb
with a delay.

My friends and I - such irony!
They play their rules and games
to see how long they'll get away.
The choise is yours
to say or stay!
Where lies your heart?
How much to take?
... until you break?
My friends and I - the irony!

it is not about the choise,
you are going to make,
it's not about her,
who's voce you're gonna take.
Today is all about me

You made up your mind
You chose me
I'm happy
The first time in weeks
And all I can say is
.......................
I'm speechless
Thank you
I know you made the right choise
I promise
I'll treat you and your baby right
Do everything in my power
To make y'all happy
I swear

the life is a world
compleatly diferent from ours
with trees and animals and beutyful things everywere
flowers and butterfly flying in the sky
lions and tigers playng with cats
elephants and mouses living together in the same house
humans and dogs with the same toys
with not a single fight about who got it first.


the death is a world**
compleatly diferent from ours
with black sky with no clouds
the humans and animals and plant are disaper from the ground
the floor with a gray aspect and gloomy ground
the silent in ths air with any noise
trying to be and have more choise
and trying tho save a pice of green ground.

I'm afraid.
Because I know me, not you.
I've seen my choise of men, and I know after today,
the way you kissed me, made me laugh
kissed me, made me laugh,
that I will fall in love with you.

I'm afraid because you're pretty.
And because most men cheat, especially the pretty ones.

I'm afraid I will forget all of this.
The pain, the healing,
and that I will eventually trust you.
Give everything I have, just like I always do.
Loose myself in your approval, love you more than I love myself.

I'm afraid that there,
at my weakest point,
you will be just like them.

I caught myself staring at your picture,
Then l lie to myself that it won't happen again,
For your beauty I wish there was some kind of a switcher,
So I can turn you off every time you turn me on,
Because you're a gorgeous woman and you got me under your spell.

**** it I really do miss your softly voice,
So I am scrolling through my phone's agenda untill I see your name,
Calling you should've been an easy choise,
On a second thoughts, I let my ego to torn us apart,
I am really ashamed of the man I have become.

I am ignoring you but I can't stop thinking about you,
Yeah it's such a cliche but darling it's true,
I sang a duet with Rihanna 'bout "where have you been"
I am still looking for you in every woman I meet,
And yet nobody can replace the adorable you.

I like you like a little boy love his wonderful toys,
When we get together I feel enormous rejoice,
Spending time with you is something I do enjoy,
Now that you're a little older we can get drunk with a bottle of red wine,
We can have lots of fun cause' we will never be this young,
Needles to say,don't tell your mom about this or I'll get my *** kicked.

I felt your absence more than a hundred times,
It is like waking up one day with no teeth in my mouth.,
I wouldn't have to run to the mirror to know they were gone,
We both pretend that we are just fine,
Truth is we haven't been friends for quite some time.

Stef Devid Alexandru ©

For the good and the bad
Never wished on me gore
Can't go far from my bed

You'll not tell me anymore
Like you promised all this
Consulating me with a "no more"

Sed eam fecisti

I'd never regret my choise
Like trust to be thrown away
As you'd not tell me what it is

Remember the first time on May
How can you forget it
When all the fears I threw away

Durāre non poterat

As I notice ya' strange for a bit
My sixth sense never lies
I realise that ya' made it

How direct my being wise
Put all the guilts all over
Feelin' it never seemed so nice

Novum moralis natus est

Forget me to be a lover
And never come back
I'm a heartless, it's over

Dear dad

I know i'm not there to say this so I though typing it is the best choise.
I know I messed up. I know i'm not the little girl I used to be.
Dad we were so close and know I get why we aren't anymore its because of me. I shut everyone out. Dad i'm sorry. Dad when you see this, if you ever do, its not your fault, its mine. I should of never shut you out, I should of told you what was going on, but I didn't. Dad I didn't move because I was running, I moved because I need a change and I got one and now I'm happy.

Dad when you read this I hope your not crying
I hope your not sitting there saying its your fault
Dad I hope your not blaming yourself

Dad i'm growing up I become this quite person
i'm sorry

And dad I want you came to my party by yourself because we need to talk face to face. I need to tell you things that I kept to myslef. Why I was quite, why my grades were bad, why I never talked about it, and why I need this change. Dad don't be angery please. I love you and miss you tons. And dad I will answer any questions.