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"calender" poems
There is nothing more unsettling than a teenage Christmas. The coming of age when adults find their inner child again and you have to try and get rid of yours. 11 is fine. Part of you still believes Santa put the presents under tree. 12 is also okay, just a little less pixie dust stirs in the stomach on Christmas Eve. 13, 14 and 15 are tricky. You don't want to look babyish by getting too excited, so you shrug it off and ask 'Santa' for a mobile phone, a laptop, a TV, until by 15 you ask for the most 'grown up' present of all. "I just want money." The words burn your lips and tongue like acid, a yearning for the sensation of a gift you can unwrap tugging in your rib cage. You can't buy that. 16, 17 and 18 are Christmases tinged with nostalgia. Little ghosts of the younger you run down the stairs on Christmas morning, feet clad in slippers and Power Rangers pjyamas askew, whilst you follow in procession, almost a funeral. It's not that you don't like Christmas. It's not that you don't love your family. It's not that you don't feel a fire light in your belly when you bite into a mince pie, it's not that the battered Christmas videos your family replay each year don't still make you smile, it's not even that you've gotten too old for it all. Have you? Slippers and tiny fists batter against advent calender doors, begging you to open them. When you're 19  you do. You let them out and let them rush to rip open their presents under the tree. You let them eat their selection box first before dinner. You let them cry when the Snowman melts and you let them laugh and not mock heave when your father chases your mother with mistletoe. You let the ghosts become holograms you can play in your mind like a projector and slides, no longer a need to leave holly by their graves but a chance to remember and smile. You let them be happy.
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Dec 17, 2013
Dec 17, 2013 at 10:08 AM UTC
The Puberty of Christmas
There is nothing more unsettling than a teenage Christmas. The coming of age when adults find their inner child again and you have to try and get rid of yours. 11 is fine. Part of you still believes Santa put the presents under tree. 12 is also okay, just a little less pixie dust stirs in the stomach on Christmas Eve. 13, 14 and 15 are tricky. You don't want to look babyish by getting too excited, so you shrug it off and ask 'Santa' for a mobile phone, a laptop, a TV, until by 15 you ask for the most 'grown up' present of all. "I just want money." The words burn your lips and tongue like acid, a yearning for the sensation of a gift you can unwrap tugging in your rib cage. You can't buy that. 16, 17 and 18 are Christmases tinged with nostalgia. Little ghosts of the younger you run down the stairs on Christmas morning, feet clad in slippers and Power Rangers pjyamas askew, whilst you follow in procession, almost a funeral. It's not that you don't like Christmas. It's not that you don't love your family. It's not that you don't feel a fire light in your belly when you bite into a mince pie, it's not that the battered Christmas videos your family replay each year don't still make you smile, it's not even that you've gotten too old for it all. Have you? Slippers and tiny fists batter against advent calender doors, begging you to open them. When you're 19  you do. You let them out and let them rush to rip open their presents under the tree. You let them eat their selection box first before dinner. You let them cry when the Snowman melts and you let them laugh and not mock heave when your father chases your mother with mistletoe. You let the ghosts become holograms you can play in your mind like a projector and slides, no longer a need to leave holly by their graves but a chance to remember and smile. You let them be happy.
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43
The calender reads 2016 But its feels more like 1984 Have you heard the crying The American dream Lying dying in the streets While big brother Is strapping blinders On our heads And shackles to Our hands and feet Were being lined up By the rows Willing prisoners Of the slave power Empire of minimum wage Shuttling our children Off to the animal farm Market of big business And big lies ***** water mixed In with the rotting Apples of the New American pie The sugar isn't sweet To the starving In the street While trash cans Over flow in the back lots Of the super market Super chains Of the slave power Empire of criminal rage And its the cold dark waters Of nuclear waste Soaking the pages of the calender That reads 2016 In these days that feel like 1984 No kindness or compassion For hands shaking tin cups Needing just a little change Just a little shelter From their sad weather lifes Living on the cold ground Below our overpass ways No shelter and no change No compassion and no kindness In the fist and pockets Of the slave power Empire of ignorant ways Bullets, bombs and hate Harvesting fresh blood For the ink To print the pages of the calender That reads 2016 As politicians write us back Into the pages of the days of 1984
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May 23, 2016
May 23, 2016 at 4:27 PM UTC
2016 or 1984
It’s a 5 day world out there, followed by a 2 day scare of baths and walks and holiday forecast talks. Planning goodbyes before you’ve left and gone whilst sitting still on Subway platform one, with stationary thoughts like the stationary train, wiped down and dried by the city state rain. It’s a 5 day world out there, followed by a 2 day scare, together another 7 day affair.
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Dec 18, 2012
Dec 18, 2012 at 11:31 AM UTC
******** MAYAN CALENDER
The Slow Starter (1958) - poem by Louis Macneice. A watched clock never moves, they said; Leave it alone and you'll grow up. Nor will the sulking holiday train Start sooner if you stamp your feet.   He left the clock to go its way;   The whistle blew, the train went gay. Do not press me so, she said; Leave me alone and I will write But not just yet, I am sure you know The problem. Do not count the days.   He left the calender alone;   The postman knocked, no letter came. O never force the pace, they said; Leave it alone, you have lots of time, Your kind of work is none the worse For slow maturing. Do not rush.   He took their tip, he took his time,   And found his time and talent gone. Oh you have had your chance, it said; Left it alone and it was one. Who said a watched clock never moves? Look at it now. Your chance was I.   He turned and saw the accusing clock   Race like a torrent round a rock. Louis Macneice
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Jun 17, 2016
Jun 17, 2016 at 9:06 AM UTC
Louis MacNeice (1907-1963)
As I lie awake staring at the clock flashing 2:04 am in florescent blue and a calender gone untouched since June 10, 2012 yet months have passed. I remember... Rain pounding down on the awful roof, wind slamming into the already cracked window, even all the blankets around did no good. Your words- that one phone call replays in my mind, so do my actions with each of my sobs, our whispers, your laughs. The weather now the same the soft Valentine rabbit clutched tight. One single answer haunts me more than anything else **** I miss you... God, I hate myself... I'm probably not going to sleep cause I'm mesmerized by the florescent blue flashes of 2:04 am and all the whispers of June 10, 2012... I wanted to say yes...
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Nov 10, 2014
Nov 10, 2014 at 6:37 PM UTC
2:04 am June 10, 2012
It was July and something inside of her began to thud. small and light as a pulse grew from a seed at the bottom of her belly, weaved and braided with veins, commandeered organs like ivy on headstones. washed up and sprouted from her chewed down fingernails, popped blood vessels in her eyes. she thought, 'if this isn't dying then it must be blooming.' this new presence was abashed by the absence of Arabic script and an African summer. it wept at dogs as they panted; they could let go so easily- a few deep heaves and they're back to pure. easy and breezy and not the sad, harsh tear of skin below shoulders, the bruises creeping over wrists and the shredded esophagus. the soiled heart and tar-heavy soul. it panicked more and more as the calender blew past. it sobbed as tomorrow became today and today became yesterday. i lived a hazy summer. brown skin and hair that turned red at the crinkly ends as it baked. i walked through cornfields and slipped on husks. landed on my back and erupted in giggles at the snowglobe sky protecting me and caging me. incense and gin were as consistent as the advent sun. music blaring and bodies bumping and no release. no escape. my little book of plans was solid and secure. and then smashed. ripped. no poetry and braids. not dreamy just silly.
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Dec 16, 2013
Dec 16, 2013 at 10:23 PM UTC
Fall 2010 lost, lost, lost.
Life flows through the doors, Dispersed by the ceiling fan, A makeover for every patron, The waitress serves a second chance. Ex-husband but current parent, Negotiating with a teenage daughter, Two untouched lunch plates, As the gap grows further and further. Central focus being on a book cover, Held by an E.R nurse still in her scrubs, The waitress tries to decipher a meaning, All while wiping leftovers from table tops. The calender on the wall says Friday, And in walks a sundress along with a button down, Two steaks and a red rose, Right up comes the waitress with a dinner to astound. Beginnings and ends in motion, The clock cues for the 40-something man, In the far corner he sips his black coffee, Forlorn eyes of a widow staring at a wedding band. Wiping beads of sweat from her forehead, Retying her hair into a secured knot, Exhaustion slowly kicking in, As she refills the coffee *** The college girl strolling in with her book bag, Smiles with pity at her as she gives her order, She thinks of how her minimum wage must look, But her love for her job makes her smile never falter. Days are something treasured, Every hour, a different movie plays, She collects all those stories, With the tip left after the customer pays.
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Apr 8, 2016
Apr 8, 2016 at 4:54 PM UTC
The Waitress
Calender Girls Miss January, keeps me very warm, make me glad, that I was born. Miss February, covers me from snow, oh man, can she really blow. Miss March, knows her wrong from right, never had a ***** so **** tight. Miss April, is a famous **** star, she likes to take things a bit to far. Miss May, gives me an all day smile, all month long, we walk the mile. Miss June, looks good in Daisy Dukes, I'm waiting on the line of Bo's and Luke's. Miss July, blows me a birthday kiss, she likes to hold it while I **** Miss August, wears a bikini thong, then we smoke a big fat **** Miss September, wears a back to school skirt, not sure if she even owns a shirt. Miss October, likes to trick or treat, her body tastes oh so sweet. Miss November, lets me fill her turkey with stuffing, at first I thought she might be bluffing. Miss December, likes to sit on my lap, her sweet *** I like to slap. I love, I love, I love my calender girls, triplets with the youngest one in curls. I love my calender, that hangs on my wall, it makes my ***** stand so tall. Even though it's all my imagination, my train always leaves the station.
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Jan 7, 2014
Jan 7, 2014 at 8:25 PM UTC
Calender Girls
I sit on my **** by the fireside chair and talk the mill talk to the calender man but he doesn't care he just watches his gauges and pressures how precious he is to the factory owner who allows him to live on a pittance each week. And while he clothes the World in his mind he would seek a botany bay where his ancestors lay and put roots in that ground. The sound of the press, blocks the sound from the bell just as well because that ringing in his ears is not the bite from the future but the teeth in the fears of his past and another bolt of cloth has been passed by the foreman and ticked off the list that he keeps in a book to read to the crook who works in accounting and pushed to the double entry in another book amounting to daylight robbery but the snobbery of the age is another page set in the mill town you get ****** all. The fine hall's for the Master and all you survey are the ruins that lie in the ruins of another day. Get away to get away and walk through a gateway into a better day but the Devil you know is the Devil you pay and what would he say if you jacked in the mill and worked down the mines better times indeed?
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Jun 17, 2013
Jun 17, 2013 at 4:12 AM UTC
A Lancashire Melody
Outside the window I see the snow There's nothing I can do It's as cold out there As it is in my heart Waiting here for you Suffering through Christmas Alone beside the tree Remembering the day when it Was only you and me The world ices over Before my eyes The wind is blowing strong Freezing me Down to the bone I thought you were the one Awaiting for the Spring to come All the ice to melt away But even when the chill is gone You won't be here to stay Dreaming of all the flowers, Happiness, and sun Even when Spring does get here In my heart there will be none For every cycle has its end Mine has come to pass I should've known, just like the seasons We could never last So as the months go by And the calender's seasons change I'm stuck in this cold Winter My season stays the same Sitting at this window Knowing what I see Knowing I will never feel What everyone else seems to be All other people Feel the light of Spring Experience the heat of Summer And all the happiness Fall brings For me it's only Winter Shorter days, even longer nights By this window I spend my day Searching for your light The light you brought into This dark heart of mine When you left you put it out Gone, without a sign Here by this window I search everyday Waiting for your light to shine And my Winter to fade away But the sun never shines Down on my face Happiness I do not see There never is a trace Patiently I view the land Empty and quiet everywhere Your footsteps hidden under the snow Like you were never there The wind whispers through the cracks In a sweet, soft tone Almost creating a presence here Where I am so alone In this place of ice and cold Where Christmas never appears Excitement from the days of old Is now replaced with tears Someone move along this season Winter, and all my fears So I will have a reason again, To smile when Spring is near
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Aug 10, 2011
Aug 10, 2011 at 3:49 PM UTC
Seasons As I See Them
Outside the window I see the snow There's nothing I can do It's as cold out there As it is in my heart Waiting here for you Suffering through Christmas Alone beside the tree Remembering the day when it Was only you and me The world ices over Before my eyes The wind is blowing strong Freezing me Down to the bone I thought you were the one Awaiting for the Spring to come All the ice to melt away But even when the chill is gone You won't be here to stay Dreaming of all the flowers, Happiness, and sun Even when Spring does get here In my heart there will be none For every cycle has its end Mine has come to pass I should've known, just like the seasons We could never last So as the months go by And the calender's seasons change I'm stuck in this cold Winter My season stays the same Sitting at this window Knowing what I see Knowing I will never feel What everyone else seems to be All other people Feel the light of Spring Experience the heat of Summer And all the happiness Fall brings For me it's only Winter Shorter days, even longer nights By this window I spend my day Searching for your light The light you brought into This dark heart of mine When you left you put it out Gone, without a sign Here by this window I search everyday Waiting for your light to shine And my Winter to fade away But the sun never shines Down on my face Happiness I do not see There never is a trace Patiently I view the land Empty and quiet everywhere Your footsteps hidden under the snow Like you were never there The wind whispers through the cracks In a sweet, soft tone Almost creating a presence here Where I am so alone In this place of ice and cold Where Christmas never appears Excitement from the days of old Is now replaced with tears Someone move along this season Winter, and all my fears So I will have a reason again, To smile when Spring is near
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"Do you...?" The elder asked in late September, It wasn't difficult, I knew the answer, But still I paused, briefly undisturbed And every detail, I suddenly remembered: Glancing look Batting eye Short of breath Long sigh. Chest pocket Slightly pounds, Deep breath... "Nice to meet you" Charming smile, Class Monday, First touch, Dinner Friday? Silent pause, Checks calender "That'll work!" Phone number. Sweating palms Nerves swell Deep breath... Doorbell. Dad's request, Home at eight, "Movie premier?" Second date. Hand in mine, Afraid to miss, Eyes close, First kiss. Throat tightens Tears form First fight Cheeks warm. Things I said, Were never true, You see... Because.. Well... "I love you." Bended knee Golden band White box Take my hand? Five maids Five men White dress Violin. Chest pocket, Slightly pounds. Sweating palms, Nerves swell. Throat tightens, Tears form; "Do you..?" The elder asked in late September, It wasn't difficult, I knew the answer.
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Nov 15, 2014
Nov 15, 2014 at 12:04 PM UTC
A Moment's Pause
i imagine you golden sun always behind you peaks of light through the curve of your neck, the outlines of your jaw i imagine you found like anchor shaped shoulders swimming the pacific draped with blonde ribbons and confetti dusk i imagine pages of calender flipped and turned never spoken in familiar tones our names never heard only a simple thought before the bus how did we get here? backs facing from opposite sides of the bench a reflex to turn my head away when you look at me like a buried sin, a mumbled confession half smiling to salvation the moon floating on indigo sky the way I would rest on your chest specs of childhood and uncertainty shaping into dying stars and serenity a volcano eruption of broken promises and we rest, like we have already been turned to stone we rest, like we have died before and again we rest, like we already met in our next lives i imagine this is what nirvana feels like but in this truth, you are not here, empty in the marks of november pages left blank in the corners i folded to remember your name it is not fair to call you a stranger but it is not fair to call you anything more
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Nov 19, 2013
Nov 19, 2013 at 6:22 PM UTC
strangers
1.) Ignore the days that stare right back when you look at the calender for they will soon slip away. 2.) Ignore the cosmic pulling that draws you to him for he too will soon slip away. 3.) Ignore the harsh words they both use to shred each others hearts for they will phase away.                                                  Ignore and you will be spared the pain.
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Dec 2, 2013
Dec 2, 2013 at 3:41 PM UTC
Things to Ignore
I sit in a constant state of drunken stupor Watching the celestial gloaming of blooming eternity Haunting the dead with songs of the living And I am neither nor, I mourn for heart beats lost to clocks There is no keeping up for me Time evades Still And stolen Dried flower blooms long ago gone grey and colourless mark calender pages and  birthdays never known~A
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Jun 30, 2017
Jun 30, 2017 at 2:15 AM UTC
Blooming Eternity
Skeleton trees, stripped down to the bone, live naked within the walls of winter Icicle boughs, and branches buried deep in white Conical conifers draped with ****** snow, a blanket of diamond dust They now enter my frozen world, like life would now exist inside of a snow globe The drifting slopes add white dimension to this winter world Frost upon the windows, designed like crystal upon the glass, sends shivers down my spine The mass exodus of flocks of birds, migrating south for their seasonal vacation, have gone away These are the images embedded in the hynotic halls of my mind The aging calender upon the sunless wall will soon give way to another year The polar atmosphere will have to surrender its icy grip but it is in no hurry once January rolls around In wintertime we become like   weary, winter warriors as we are manned with shovels and plows, battling the barrage of shellfire of continuous cold, snow and ice Shielded with scarves and heavy apparel, shoveling and scraping, salting and sweeping, we are at war with the fierce elements that make us slip and slide The salt trucks look like army tanks on the move Playful adventurers laugh at the scorn The mammoth artic tundra is their playground, the ultimate winter utopia They shall master the slippery landscape on skis, sleds and skates in their pleasure to conquer the frozen land Winter is truly a wonder, but soon my Spring and Summer dreams lie captive I find myself a foreigner of this wintry wilderness My fair, flowery fields are gone Barren are those beautiful images, for Spring, Summer and Fall, fables to my wintry world, have slumbered all too long Soon I am pondering..... If only I can thaw these stone solid feelings, as the land soon melts into Spring tears, and can light a lamp within, defrosting the sub-zero feelings inside of me, I will fully embrace the dreams of warmer times, and I shall find myself once more A woman who knows why she endures such a season, shoveling my way through the stormy periods of life to thrive amid the firsts of Spring
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Sep 10, 2010
Sep 10, 2010 at 8:17 AM UTC
Winter Woman
Skeleton trees, stripped down to the bone, live naked within the walls of winter Icicle boughs, and branches buried deep in white Conical conifers draped with ****** snow, a blanket of diamond dust They now enter my frozen world, like life would now exist inside of a snow globe The drifting slopes add white dimension to this winter world Frost upon the windows, designed like crystal upon the glass, sends shivers down my spine The mass exodus of flocks of birds, migrating south for their seasonal vacation, have gone away These are the images embedded in the hynotic halls of my mind The aging calender upon the sunless wall will soon give way to another year The polar atmosphere will have to surrender its icy grip but it is in no hurry once January rolls around In wintertime we become like   weary, winter warriors as we are manned with shovels and plows, battling the barrage of shellfire of continuous cold, snow and ice Shielded with scarves and heavy apparel, shoveling and scraping, salting and sweeping, we are at war with the fierce elements that make us slip and slide The salt trucks look like army tanks on the move Playful adventurers laugh at the scorn The mammoth artic tundra is their playground, the ultimate winter utopia They shall master the slippery landscape on skis, sleds and skates in their pleasure to conquer the frozen land Winter is truly a wonder, but soon my Spring and Summer dreams lie captive I find myself a foreigner of this wintry wilderness My fair, flowery fields are gone Barren are those beautiful images, for Spring, Summer and Fall, fables to my wintry world, have slumbered all too long Soon I am pondering..... If only I can thaw these stone solid feelings, as the land soon melts into Spring tears, and can light a lamp within, defrosting the sub-zero feelings inside of me, I will fully embrace the dreams of warmer times, and I shall find myself once more A woman who knows why she endures such a season, shoveling my way through the stormy periods of life to thrive amid the firsts of Spring
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81
I slowly and deliberately cross off the date on the calender. One more day doesn't seem like such a loss to me! I imagine myself blowing away the flickering flame of the birthday candles. It's almost here! The one day that is completely mine. The one day that it feels like the sun, the moon, and the stars would obey me if I told them to. When I can have all the fun things I want to do. I close my eyes and wish A secret with But don't ask me to tell 'cuz I won't. And like the swish of a magic spell fading away My day leaves behind fine memories and new gifts.
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Oct 3, 2011
Oct 3, 2011 at 11:55 PM UTC
Anticipation
She looked at the calender. The day she decided it had to end. Their special day. He wasn't the same man. He became better. This was the man she wanted. Her heart came back. Could she give it a second chance, after knowing what he had become? She grew more lonely. She pushed away all those who got too close. Even the man that loved her. She pondered if she could try again. He had bettered himself. It sweetened the urge to rekindle. He finally became the man of her dreams. Just not her man
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Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014 at 12:53 AM UTC
She can't sleep
The first snow When it just starts to stick to the ground Around nine o clock, And the snow dances in the streetlights. And the first thing you think of when you wake up Is getting to walk in it's beauty. That's her smile. But she doesn't think it's beautiful. The first time a hug meant something. You feel their arms, Their shoulders, Their warmth, The tickle of their breath on the bottom of the left side of your neck, And the last moment when they tighten around you Into a solid, comforting fortress before they pull away. That's the air she exhales. But she doesn't think it's beautiful. The most devastating thunder storm. When the rain is sad, And not peaceful or light hearted, And the echo of the cracks of thunder sting your ears. And the lightening stops getting interesting, The lightening looks worried. It looks like suicidal tendencies. That's what it's like to see her cry. But she doesn't think it's beautiful. Battle fields. Soiled with distraught courage, Limp hopes, And dying bravery. Yet somehow holding the promise of a victory That will effect hundreds of nations. Those are her scars. Yet she doesn't think it's beautiful. The most perfect day on the beach. Sandwiches without the sand, Waves that kiss your toes, Sun that blankets you with the feeling of security, And a sunset so perfect That you wonder if it's real, Or just a calender's picture for the month of August. That's her. But she doesn't think she's beautiful.
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Jun 4, 2013
Jun 4, 2013 at 3:53 PM UTC
My Baby Girl
Your arms gave my demons a home since the afternoon of February 16th, and I knew your ocean eyes could drown them and free me from their grasp. Who knew those eyes would drown me entirely? But eventually I could feel the darkness bite at the wires in your brain. They rearranged every night and I think you forgot who I was, because once August 24th rolled around, we had confused love and lust as we rolled around in between sheets, and that was the start of months of confusion. You had changed the codes on every alarm starting September 13th, (or had our distance made me forget?) By November 24th, I had lost the key and the spare was no longer under the mat. I still wonder how many had forgotten to wipe their feet while I was gone, so I gave up on praying that Venus would save us. December 13th, my suspicions of your unscared touch every morning had been confirmed. I remember you begging for one more lustful grasp, and I wish I had said no, because when you told me you didn't love me I could barely stop my rageful fits on the bathroom rug. Your walls came crumbiling down the following February 10th, when you begged me to come back home. But I knew your chest cavity was no longer warm and I felt no safety in the way you looked at me. I loved you so much, but the calender is my only friend and this calender never lied, but you always will.
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Nov 12, 2013
Nov 12, 2013 at 4:01 PM UTC
Calender
What do I have left? I have a ticket stub from our first date; I have a scar on my thigh from the Sunday I met your family for the first time; I have a whole lot of memories that tap on my window on the worst of possible evenings. Evenings when I can feel the cool September wind on my shoulder, seeing a whole lot of red with a replay of how our summer fell apart in my head. I have your name and the hush tone apology you gave me in the dark still suffocating the blood in my veins; I have sleepless nights and my fair share of moments I wish that I could change; I have pictures from the night you took my wasted mind home and tucked yourself into bed with me; I have sad eyes that remember the look on your face when you kissed me goodbye for the last time; and I have a calender that beats me down trying to get it through to me that it's fall. So don't bother asking me what day it is because I'll still tell you that it's June 23rd and your grandparents were absolutely darling tonight.
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Dec 15, 2013
Dec 15, 2013 at 3:43 PM UTC
What Do I Have Left?
There's times that seem to fit and make it all more real. Like the snapping of the plastic seal on that cheap bottle of ***** Just as she slams the door for that final time. Frusciante on the radio and you with a needle in your hand. The seagull who passed and dropped his waste upon your sunset. There's images that swirl inside your head and leave behind deep grooves within your memories Impressions like her sculpted face in candle light. That strung out you in the mirror that even you didn't recognize. There's that love you thought was dead and those addictions you swore you left behind. There's times and ways that seem to fit. And it's what lengthens this life that are like the pages of a calender. One on top of the next to be written over. All to be lived one page at a time
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Jan 21, 2014
Jan 21, 2014 at 12:06 PM UTC
Such a Thing as Time
To answer your question, Yes. It never left me. It sits patiently at the sidelines on sunny days. It doesn't fight formy attention. It doesn't book off days in my calender. It smiles when I smile. It laughs when I laugh. It knows that all It has to do Is wait for the overcast. A ceiling of clouds closing in on me. Day after day, the raindrops won't come. Each grey morning looks a little darker than the last. Until, atlast: The first tear hits the ground. And It is there, immediately. Offering escape. At first, I'll refuse. "Never again." I meant what I said. I will not break my promise. But as the hours go by, It becomes more obvious. The rain does not want to let up. And there It is, Reminding me of Its offer of solution. It promises that Its affections are just as strong as always. I want to pull away, But I can't deny the safeness that calls to me, Awaiting beneath the umbrella. The calmness I feel spreading from the burn where It grips my skin. The storm passes, Leaving nothing but a colourful mess to clean up. I don't expect you to understand. But then again, I don't expect you to find out. "Never again." I'd meant what I said. But it's so easy to think that It will never hurt you. Not the way It hurts me when all I have is loneliness for company. So, to answer your question, Yes. And if you ever bothered to check, you'd see. It forever waits on my company. It laughs when I laugh. It cries when I cry. But maybe It would give up and leave, If you too never left my side.
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Apr 17, 2012
Apr 17, 2012 at 6:51 PM UTC
Overcast
To answer your question, Yes. It never left me. It sits patiently at the sidelines on sunny days. It doesn't fight formy attention. It doesn't book off days in my calender. It smiles when I smile. It laughs when I laugh. It knows that all It has to do Is wait for the overcast. A ceiling of clouds closing in on me. Day after day, the raindrops won't come. Each grey morning looks a little darker than the last. Until, atlast: The first tear hits the ground. And It is there, immediately. Offering escape. At first, I'll refuse. "Never again." I meant what I said. I will not break my promise. But as the hours go by, It becomes more obvious. The rain does not want to let up. And there It is, Reminding me of Its offer of solution. It promises that Its affections are just as strong as always. I want to pull away, But I can't deny the safeness that calls to me, Awaiting beneath the umbrella. The calmness I feel spreading from the burn where It grips my skin. The storm passes, Leaving nothing but a colourful mess to clean up. I don't expect you to understand. But then again, I don't expect you to find out. "Never again." I'd meant what I said. But it's so easy to think that It will never hurt you. Not the way It hurts me when all I have is loneliness for company. So, to answer your question, Yes. And if you ever bothered to check, you'd see. It forever waits on my company. It laughs when I laugh. It cries when I cry. But maybe It would give up and leave, If you too never left my side.
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48
I. You believe them. You tell them otherwise II. You write little post it notes, and catalog their promises You make a calender and put your dates on it in red pen You smile and expect to cross them out again III. You believe in their dreams, but you do not believe in their words Even when you want to so badly that it hurts IV. You reason with yourself, and with them, and with your little red pen That untruths are just as truthful as outright honesty, Because honestly, deceit is pure And who knows that they're lying when they're lying? If they plan to follow through and say their lies as 'simple' truths Or if they lie to you and then follow through So is it really a lie? It's okay, you don't have to feel used V. You realize that you love them Then you consider it more And the more you think on it, the more that you're sure VI. Then days turn into a year, which is only seasons And their promises become ever more few Then the seasons break down into months, into days Into hours VII. You're so lost in counting that you forget to fact check VIII. You believe them. Without the back of your mind screaming "justice!" Without bothering to write it all down. You hear them out, for the first time, and wonder if they ever lied at all Or if you're just used to being lied to IX. And that's when your reality crumbles down That's when you really love them but lose yourself If the days you can't remember, and the time you can't forget Coincide Maybe there's some hope, a little, that everything was worth it It's just a phase they went through but you miss the lies X. Because when they tell you it's over You realize it's the one thing you wish wasn't true.
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Feb 8, 2015
Feb 8, 2015 at 7:21 AM UTC
How to Love a Liar
I. You believe them. You tell them otherwise II. You write little post it notes, and catalog their promises You make a calender and put your dates on it in red pen You smile and expect to cross them out again III. You believe in their dreams, but you do not believe in their words Even when you want to so badly that it hurts IV. You reason with yourself, and with them, and with your little red pen That untruths are just as truthful as outright honesty, Because honestly, deceit is pure And who knows that they're lying when they're lying? If they plan to follow through and say their lies as 'simple' truths Or if they lie to you and then follow through So is it really a lie? It's okay, you don't have to feel used V. You realize that you love them Then you consider it more And the more you think on it, the more that you're sure VI. Then days turn into a year, which is only seasons And their promises become ever more few Then the seasons break down into months, into days Into hours VII. You're so lost in counting that you forget to fact check VIII. You believe them. Without the back of your mind screaming "justice!" Without bothering to write it all down. You hear them out, for the first time, and wonder if they ever lied at all Or if you're just used to being lied to IX. And that's when your reality crumbles down That's when you really love them but lose yourself If the days you can't remember, and the time you can't forget Coincide Maybe there's some hope, a little, that everything was worth it It's just a phase they went through but you miss the lies X. Because when they tell you it's over You realize it's the one thing you wish wasn't true.
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44
A is the ache You leave behind when you leave B is the broken Person I was before I had you C is the carvings on my wrist that you kiss D is the sense of defeat I often felt when I was alone E is the elatedness that fills me when we speak to each other F is the friends that I made because you believed I had to give them a chance G is the good I can finally see that's always been around me H is the hope that you give me that I'll see another day I is the imagination that graces my mind when I think of you J is the joy that you give me even when you're gone K is the kindness you showed me that fixed me L is the love that I feel because I have you M is the time I mourned when you were gone for good N is the newness of the empty feeling I get now that you left O is being ostracized because I'm too depressing to be around P is the pain I feel when I see Happy couples everywhere Q is the quiet indifference I feel towards every **** thing R is the refrain it takes me not to plunge that knife into my throbbing heart S is the suffering I feel to get through every god **** day T is the torture I put myself through looking at our old photographs U is the underwhelming need to live dissipitating day by day V is the vows you promised to make but you didn't make it. W is the words you used to say to make the pain go away X is the mark on the calender of the anniversay we didn't have Y is the question I ask everyday since you died Z is the end of this poem of our love forever All these alphabets mean something to me no amount of morphine Takes the pain away from me You made me happy and now that you're gone I'm back to the ghost I once was
0
Jul 14, 2013
Jul 14, 2013 at 11:41 AM UTC
Alphabets
A is the ache You leave behind when you leave B is the broken Person I was before I had you C is the carvings on my wrist that you kiss D is the sense of defeat I often felt when I was alone E is the elatedness that fills me when we speak to each other F is the friends that I made because you believed I had to give them a chance G is the good I can finally see that's always been around me H is the hope that you give me that I'll see another day I is the imagination that graces my mind when I think of you J is the joy that you give me even when you're gone K is the kindness you showed me that fixed me L is the love that I feel because I have you M is the time I mourned when you were gone for good N is the newness of the empty feeling I get now that you left O is being ostracized because I'm too depressing to be around P is the pain I feel when I see Happy couples everywhere Q is the quiet indifference I feel towards every **** thing R is the refrain it takes me not to plunge that knife into my throbbing heart S is the suffering I feel to get through every god **** day T is the torture I put myself through looking at our old photographs U is the underwhelming need to live dissipitating day by day V is the vows you promised to make but you didn't make it. W is the words you used to say to make the pain go away X is the mark on the calender of the anniversay we didn't have Y is the question I ask everyday since you died Z is the end of this poem of our love forever All these alphabets mean something to me no amount of morphine Takes the pain away from me You made me happy and now that you're gone I'm back to the ghost I once was
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115
there's such a strange feeling brought in by sunday mornings. it's as if you can feel the calender resetting, a groggy haze of transition between one row of boxes and numbers and the next. the dates themselves adding line-breaks on type-writers, molding the ever-changing scripts of our lives. the day gets claimed for resting and resetting - we recharge with early beers and late lunches followed by a hefty dose of sweat-pants. at least 'round here, "sunday's best" has never been anything classy. it's paint-stained denim, muddy boots, and over sized thrift store sweaters. we don't own church shoes or pressed slacks, because we've never needed ornate buildings to silently give thanks in. we need the wind, and the wild, and the dirt. we set out with the intention of getting lost, for the simple joy of the instant that we find ourselves resurfacing on the face of the map. we give thanks any time that there's nothing between us and the sky and our wind-chapped faces are covered in smiles and sun. desert dwellers need the sun. we greet her daily, wildly and emphatically as the frozen layers of earth. sundays are for defrosting. we bake beneath grandma's home-made quilts, and in the arms of good love; thawing enough to ensure growth without cracking our foundations. "sunday's best" is just a good place to be. it's a refreshing state of mind in an augmented pace of time, where we slow down, and step back just enough to see what really matters and what never has. and when the alarm clock howls like a rabid beast come monday morning, we'll rise reflective and refreshed; strengthened up to continue driving forth towards the lives we're living for.
0
Nov 28, 2012
Nov 28, 2012 at 11:37 AM UTC
sunday mornings coming down.
there's such a strange feeling brought in by sunday mornings. it's as if you can feel the calender resetting, a groggy haze of transition between one row of boxes and numbers and the next. the dates themselves adding line-breaks on type-writers, molding the ever-changing scripts of our lives. the day gets claimed for resting and resetting - we recharge with early beers and late lunches followed by a hefty dose of sweat-pants. at least 'round here, "sunday's best" has never been anything classy. it's paint-stained denim, muddy boots, and over sized thrift store sweaters. we don't own church shoes or pressed slacks, because we've never needed ornate buildings to silently give thanks in. we need the wind, and the wild, and the dirt. we set out with the intention of getting lost, for the simple joy of the instant that we find ourselves resurfacing on the face of the map. we give thanks any time that there's nothing between us and the sky and our wind-chapped faces are covered in smiles and sun. desert dwellers need the sun. we greet her daily, wildly and emphatically as the frozen layers of earth. sundays are for defrosting. we bake beneath grandma's home-made quilts, and in the arms of good love; thawing enough to ensure growth without cracking our foundations. "sunday's best" is just a good place to be. it's a refreshing state of mind in an augmented pace of time, where we slow down, and step back just enough to see what really matters and what never has. and when the alarm clock howls like a rabid beast come monday morning, we'll rise reflective and refreshed; strengthened up to continue driving forth towards the lives we're living for.
Continue reading...
36