Where is my head cos its gone out of here
It went for a ride on bus 79
Where did it go?
What did it see?
The bus 79.... is free
The bus 79 yippee
On bus 79 you'll see

Lets go for a ride on bus 79
Lets go to the ocean for tea
Lets hop on along and sing a great song
On bus 79 we'll be  
On bus 79 we'll be
On bus 79 yippee  

You bring uncle Harrold and auntie Mc Barrell
Fish supper for us by the sea
The bus 79
We'll sing all divine
We'll sing for our supper
You'll see
We'll sing for our supper
You'll see

Lets go for a ride on bus 79
Lets go to the ocean for tea
Lets hop on along and sing a great song
On bus 79 we'll be  
On bus 79 we'll be
On bus 79 yippee  

Tis getting quite late as sun hits the waves
Is time for the bus to go home
The bus 79
We had a good time
Lets sing till we can no more
Lets sing a good song
Come join in the fun
On bus 79 to your door
On bus 79 to your door

beads that hit like bullets
sudden and painful and take you by surprise
but the damage is only temporary
and then i collect them
and give them sentimental value
which i know is something i shouldn't
because ill only lose them anyway

the other people who have collected beads
are guns
they shoot them when they lose them
some days they want their beads back but
they're mine now
and because of that we don't get along
im the one who gave them value
so they're mine and they're never getting them back

i dont remember my first bead
where it came from or how i got it
but one day it appeared
but now it's long gone
i wouldn't worry if i were you
most people never keep their first bead
they go missing after a while

on rare occasion im not being careful
on rare occasion i decide i won't act with ease
im reckless and careless
until suddenly
i pull the trigger, not on purpose in the slightest
maybe i said some things, did some things
knew a little too much about things
but because i pulled the trigger
only a couple will stay, the rest will go missing
and ill never get them back

my beads are weapons that are used against me
they never asked to be shot at me
but once i attached that value to them
they were stuck with me forever
and despite people telling me "let them go"
"the chipped beads, the bad beads"
"you don't need them. they're toxic."
but i keep them because i believe it's worth it

but then because of those few beads i keep
i slowly notice the others disappearing
one by one they're all gone
and suddenly without warning
my barrell of beads is empty
except for the last
and now the beads i once cherished so much
are gone
and now in the barrell of another gun

i pulled the trigger again

i woke up this morning
with a rage inside
that i never want to subside
put my hat on
threw the hood up
cigarette lit
thinking bout
who i'm gonna **** next

mask and gloves
barrell of sulfuric acid
ready to find a straggler
anyone stupid
or deserving
to get it

i'm the maintenance man
city garbage man
taking care of this **** they can't keep clean
you think it's mean?
well you should see how it feels
to wake up from my dream
or was it a nightmare?

keep quiet and don't say a word
it'll only get you more hurt
who needs a gun and a bullet
when these bare hands can do it
i'm a ***** nasty *******

my scowl looks like a smile
it's so jaded
and foul
but today's just another day
cleaning up the neighborhood
and ******* your wife

“Stranded Strangers”

The life raft rocked from one
Careless wave to another,
As I drowsily lay
On the damp floor and ponder,
Helplessly holding
My heavy, eternal sin.
My sin of originating in a country
Careless of my life expectancy.
My sin of coming from a country
Where it’s illegal to be free.
My sin of fleeing a country
Where war rages on every street.
My sin of not belonging to a family
That could spare me from this barbarity.
So I ran.
I ran with
my bare soles
to the shore,
with the hope
that this boat
Would save me.
From the inhumanity.
But the indifferent sea
Will not guarantee
A secure journey.
Still,
This isn’t a sacrifice for me.
For my country ruthlessly robbed
Everything that was of value to me.
My family and my identity.  

But I’m afraid.
Much more than you will ever be
Of me. You see,
I have no power.
I can’t chose my future,
Like you chose to shoot our heads,
Like you chose to turn your head,
When you see us drowning at sea,
Land only meters ahead.
Yes I am afraid.
That no one will set us free
From this strangling tyranny.
You know it’s a bleeding tragedy,
But you turn your head,
And shoot our heads,
And deny. Dare deny
This clandestine genocide.

So I float between countries,
Balancing on cold water,
A stranded stranger
Begging to belong.

Millions of hefty diamonds
In the deadly silent nightfall
Are scattered on the unreachable  
Celestial crown.
They look down
on us with disdain,
All proud and pretentious.
Mocking
My muddy skin,
My blistered soles,
My ragged clothes,
My ruffled hair,
My hollow cheeks.
As if to remind me,
Of the riches I’ll never see,
Of the happiness I’ll never feel,
Of  the safety I’ll never get,
Of the home I’ll never have,
Again.

So dear cherished official,
I am a stranded stranger.
You could easily be me.
But I’ll never be you anymore.

‘Cause I’m Discomfort, and you’re Warmth.
I’m Sorrow, and you’re Hope.
I’m Fear, and you’re Peace.
I’m Servitude, and you’re Freedom.
But I’m also a Crisis, and you’re also Ignorance.
Because I am Muhammad Gulzar, and you are a Greek official.

So I float between countries,
Balancing on cold water,
A stranded stranger
Begging to belong.

All this to say, I’ll never be safe from here on,  
No matter where I run,
They only care ‘bout where I come from.
A burden I got no control upon.
Rooted before I could even say “Mum”,
Why do we run? On and on?

Why do such meager differences
Develop colossal separation,
An impenetrable iron wall
Between Us and Them?
Why are you more worthy
Because you stand on the other side of the sea?

I wondered who, over there,
Understood the horrors we saw,
When they don’t seem to  know more
Than what the dividers of mankind
Instilled in their minds,
To form such cruel people.
Do we have to be rivals?
Just tell me your cause!
Is it because fate willed me to be born
On the other side of the wall?
And is it because fate willed me
To have a different complexion?
And is it because of my weird religion?
Oh, you think I don’t know your intention?

I’m a victim of the imperialist wars
To control oils, and other raw materials.
You exploited, oppressed and devastated my land
Simply to expand your sphere of command.
Where are your morals?

You western imperialists
Bear a decisive responsibility.
And I will not cross you off my list
Until you have done your duty.

Greek officials robbed and beat 30 migrants yesterday.
1000 others were abandoned off Greece’s bay.
And 8300 are gonna be thrown away
From their homes in greece. Did you hear?
Boris.J wants to legalise sending away
Refugees who reach the UK.
But today, I want to see you change your twisted ways.

But today, my last handful of air
Was taken away.
My body’s too bony
To hold a head so heavy.
I collapsed into the cold sea.
Weighted thoughts dragged me.
Sinking into eternity,
I did not dare to break free.
I was finally reaching Heaven
To join my long lost family.
There at least I would belong,
It had ached too much and too long
To to be abandoned by a world,
Drifting from country to country,
Begging to belong.

‘Cause you stuffed your words into my mouth
Since as long as I can recall.
There was no space for my own.
So they scratched my throat
As they tried to climb up
Desperately reaching for the door,
Ready to inform you
How much it wounds
To be nothing,
To be a phantom figure,
Worse, to be a number.
But they never get to the exit.
And time turns them
Into a bitter taste.
Until we suffocate,
In our unsaid words.
We die from remaining unheard.

So you’ll probably think it’s absurd.
But in these forgiving waters,
I am free
of  your merciless grip.
Quite ironically,
I can finally breathe
Out. The unsaid words stream
Out of my lips.
Role into the current.
They sing in the sea
The pitiful story
Of my suffering existence
Of unacceptance.
But still,
These words
Will never be heard
By your oblivious ear,
Dear cherished official.
How many more bodies like mine will it take,
To make you understand what is at stake.
Lives are not living,
Because of your domineering
Xenophobic habits.
You’re tearing the world to bits.
Tell me,
Where is your humanity?

‘Cause dear cherished official,
I’m all the innocent bodies
Sunken in the depths of the sea.
I’m all the stranded strangers,
Who ran away from danger.
You could easily be us,
But we will never be you anymore.
So you can turn your head,
But our world will not move ahead
Until you acknowledge your responsibility
And accomplish your duty accordingly.
Only then will our bodies
Rest in peace.
So Prove,
Prove to us you’re capable of humanity.


{A stranded stranger’s closing contemplations}
- A poem by Julia Barrell

Late February rain pours out it's heart to me.
"Come dance," it screams; so loud and steadily.
I burn to let off steam, but I am locked inside this box.
Stuck with my 9 to 5 routine, of kicking jagged rocks.

Apocolyptic nightmares stir my soul, even while awake.
When the sky comes crashing downward fast,
what will I have done for the human race?

I begin to learn the meaning of complaicent.
And the taste is bitter with despare.
I hope one day the words expunged,
or breaks beyond repair.

America the Beautiful,
America the "Free",
What is this lie you've bottled up and sold?
Can you put a price tag on our dreams?
And  is it worth its' weight in gold?

I guess I am just a day late,
or one too many dollars short.
So I'll keep climbing, up and up.
To pay off, all that you extort.

I'm sure it has been said before
and there is no doubt that some have won.
You hear the same bland story;
tried and true...
While staring down the barrell of a gun.

So wax on, wax off
I'm certain that it's growing old.
Cause no matter which you polish it,
Our hearts will never fold.

Calloused hands grip the golden shine of pride.
A dull green barrell, and three shining plugs.

Thank you.

White hair receding back to yester years.
Memories standing strong on the front line.
No tears.

Thank you for your service.

Sitting in a rocking chair,
watching the birds flutter past the glass.

A long life lived,
a short life passed.

I stand before you today with a heavy heart
With arteries weighed down by sinful choices
Cant lie and say I didn't enjoy them at the time
but now that i face the consequences
I wonder if it was all worth it

she was pretty and damaged and I the drunken fool
with that combination nothing good can happen
cant lie and say I didnt love her
but now that i look back at all that we've destroyed
I wonder if it was all worth it

he was hers and went looking to find me
its not in me to run so now im staring down a barrell
cant lie and say im not afraid
but now that ive looked into his hateful eyes i know
a woman like that.. shes worth it