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"arsed" poems
We the pixies clench our buttocks..... Or up yours Dave... There is tell of a foetid rancid hellish hole in the wild wood, only visible by half light - every leap year, where thick knobbed hairy arsed gnomes plot the buggering of slim hipped virginal pixies. they sit cross legged on woolsacks- knitting ****** shaped thorny policies for the inevitable insertion, the thickest of **** and hairiest of **** get to chew upon the sweetmeat of the mythical proletariat in perpetuity as a stipend for their buggery,,, or so the tale goes...
0
Feb 10, 2011
Feb 10, 2011 at 11:43 AM UTC
"- We the Pixies clench our buttocks -"
grow a beard... buy a jazz double-bass... start stroking it... attempt to look pensive... and then write some Cockney comedy... and?    **** Oxford.       **** 'em good; can't be, ******* arsed...           where's a ******* jazz double bass the kind i need to stand up to play?! where?!     gone, "nowhere"...         Achilles would sooner find a tortoise, you ******* half-whit bull bullock base catcher... yummy yummy... no ******* double whammy if there ain't a greasy dough nnnnnnnn in my mouth oozing a squid's mating call... from the Jules Verne estimate of how... big the ******* could become... oh please...    **** is a conjunction word... akin to and...      spew effect, regurgitation, founded upon... so... so... farting in a public place is less offensive than uttering a word of oath?! **** me...     more **** less ***** images... i guess that's how you habitually attack Christian h'america... **** **** **** and impose a curb of a ***** show me the puppies kitchen ***** Kentucky style **** ******* wankers... dreaming up some **** in long lost Cockney rhyming slang for some: willkommen zu verirrt amstetten... .................... ................................... .............. ................ SCHMILE... boorish ******* gnomes dancing the leprechaun gamblers' dance... skivvy ************* sure... censor the words... but god forbid you censor showing all the ******* because... if you do? guess what... i might forget my farming impulse... of imagining a a cleavage to also imply a pork buttocks... funny... how a show of cleavage is synonymous with a show of pork buttocks... and then i begin thinking of milking... which throws a ***** **** out with the baby and the bathwater and... i'm shinging... what's that name of the place?! New Orleans! yeah... like some minstrel in that part of the world that part of the world that's a ******** what?! you spew on me... i spew on you... we can at least exchange... what we "love" about each other... but i implore! i implore! visit Warsaw! alone... no, not with other people... ah-loan - a-l-o-n-e.... i'll be your companion, when you peer at your shadow, and attempt, to pretend, to disappear.
0
Sep 11, 2018
Sep 11, 2018 at 8:48 PM UTC
Wankers United
grow a beard... buy a jazz double-bass... start stroking it... attempt to look pensive... and then write some Cockney comedy... and?    **** Oxford.       **** 'em good; can't be, ******* arsed...           where's a ******* jazz double bass the kind i need to stand up to play?! where?!     gone, "nowhere"...         Achilles would sooner find a tortoise, you ******* half-whit bull bullock base catcher... yummy yummy... no ******* double whammy if there ain't a greasy dough nnnnnnnn in my mouth oozing a squid's mating call... from the Jules Verne estimate of how... big the ******* could become... oh please...    **** is a conjunction word... akin to and...      spew effect, regurgitation, founded upon... so... so... farting in a public place is less offensive than uttering a word of oath?! **** me...     more **** less ***** images... i guess that's how you habitually attack Christian h'america... **** **** **** and impose a curb of a ***** show me the puppies kitchen ***** Kentucky style **** ******* wankers... dreaming up some **** in long lost Cockney rhyming slang for some: willkommen zu verirrt amstetten... .................... ................................... .............. ................ SCHMILE... boorish ******* gnomes dancing the leprechaun gamblers' dance... skivvy ************* sure... censor the words... but god forbid you censor showing all the ******* because... if you do? guess what... i might forget my farming impulse... of imagining a a cleavage to also imply a pork buttocks... funny... how a show of cleavage is synonymous with a show of pork buttocks... and then i begin thinking of milking... which throws a ***** **** out with the baby and the bathwater and... i'm shinging... what's that name of the place?! New Orleans! yeah... like some minstrel in that part of the world that part of the world that's a ******** what?! you spew on me... i spew on you... we can at least exchange... what we "love" about each other... but i implore! i implore! visit Warsaw! alone... no, not with other people... ah-loan - a-l-o-n-e.... i'll be your companion, when you peer at your shadow, and attempt, to pretend, to disappear.
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104
When you're a writer, you get invited to strange gigs sometimes, where usually, the audience is arty farty or even a bit precious and pretentious. You know, the blue rinse set. But I was once invited to recite poetry in a bar, where I knew my audience might be ****** or maybe even abusive, and wouldn't give a **** about writing. Yeah? Well, I'm a bit of a word warrior, really, so I didn't back off. I stepped right in for the fight. I said straight up that my poem was especially for people like them who thought that writers are wishy-washy, woffling, **** weak and luke-warm. So then I said, PPPHHHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrtttttttt. Very loud. I told them this was some royal raspberry, just for people like them, who thought this was going to be another boring poem. And then I threw in a few words like, ah, **** doggy fashion, finger up the **** you know, just to liven things up. I told them what I really thought. ***** You! Especially seeing as how you think poetry’s some wimpy, bleeding heart, limp **** stuff. Right? So let's get right down and ***** here. Which is much more interesting, eh? And do you know what that says about you? No?  You bleeding, blinkered, blind-as-bats broomstick-up-the-arsed, boring, bonehead ******** So don't call this poet piss-weak any more or I'll hit you bang between the eyes and up between your thighs. I've got some things to say you'd better not ignore. When it comes to words, I'm a gouger and a biter. I'm a brawling, hard-as-nails, no-holds-barred street fighter. I'm a writer. Yeah, well, no surprise here. That made them quieter. I'd shut them up. So what did that prove? I'd just abused and confused them. It made me think, well, why did I bother? Poems are for believers and lovers, aren’t they? They don't need me to fight for them in bars. Poems just are. Yes,and some of them might live as long as the stars. Mike T Minehan
0
Jun 14, 2013
Jun 14, 2013 at 9:56 PM UTC
Bar Fight
When you're a writer, you get invited to strange gigs sometimes, where usually, the audience is arty farty or even a bit precious and pretentious. You know, the blue rinse set. But I was once invited to recite poetry in a bar, where I knew my audience might be ****** or maybe even abusive, and wouldn't give a **** about writing. Yeah? Well, I'm a bit of a word warrior, really, so I didn't back off. I stepped right in for the fight. I said straight up that my poem was especially for people like them who thought that writers are wishy-washy, woffling, **** weak and luke-warm. So then I said, PPPHHHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrtttttttt. Very loud. I told them this was some royal raspberry, just for people like them, who thought this was going to be another boring poem. And then I threw in a few words like, ah, **** doggy fashion, finger up the **** you know, just to liven things up. I told them what I really thought. ***** You! Especially seeing as how you think poetry’s some wimpy, bleeding heart, limp **** stuff. Right? So let's get right down and ***** here. Which is much more interesting, eh? And do you know what that says about you? No?  You bleeding, blinkered, blind-as-bats broomstick-up-the-arsed, boring, bonehead ******** So don't call this poet piss-weak any more or I'll hit you bang between the eyes and up between your thighs. I've got some things to say you'd better not ignore. When it comes to words, I'm a gouger and a biter. I'm a brawling, hard-as-nails, no-holds-barred street fighter. I'm a writer. Yeah, well, no surprise here. That made them quieter. I'd shut them up. So what did that prove? I'd just abused and confused them. It made me think, well, why did I bother? Poems are for believers and lovers, aren’t they? They don't need me to fight for them in bars. Poems just are. Yes,and some of them might live as long as the stars. Mike T Minehan
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47
skidding down the slopes of a Friday afternoon deadlines looming fast my rickety toboggan - clattering alarmingly - navigates the final run and with a sharp turn delivers me sweaty-arsed but still in one piece to the door of my weekend at six on the dot
0
Jan 25, 2019
Jan 25, 2019 at 7:32 PM UTC
Flying By The Seat Of My Pants
She's a hand me own girl- she started off with dreams and hopes of love and romance and ended up used and worn by men who didn't give a **** about what she's worth. She begins her night on town hard arsed and cynical but after a few drinks- loneliness shows from her mask that hangs akwardly off her scarred pretty face. I approach her from my own shy bruised seat and my loneliness finds hers. When I was a dreamer patience was easy, but then again maybe patience was my blindness. Everything must happen now! How do I play this game right? Man I hate these games. Cat and mouse, cat and mouse, cat eats mouse and then cat gets poisoned by mouse and dies infected with bitterness. I've died a thousand times over and I still die whenever I meet a beautiful woman. I try to be suave and lighthearted- to pretend to be a dream, a hope, but my heart explodes inside me and I stand there naked ad exposed. I never was a good liar. Before long I see her kissing a better liar than I am. I know she was not my dream to begin with but still anger burns inside me: I cant get what I want and i cant settle for what i don't want. Typical spoilt brat. I go home alone thinking- maybe I'm the hand me down girl.
0
Jan 25, 2010
Jan 25, 2010 at 6:31 AM UTC
Hand me Down Girl
Here's the story told to me about our glorious infantry. Louts,rapscallions,friends battalions arm in arm and full of glee marching off to join the infantry. In the rear lines drinking fine wines,hock,moselle,some burgundy and some drinking ginseng flavoured tea from some far flung idea of Empire while only half a mile along the road the whole world was on fire, were the fat arsed generals with their horses, waiting on their second courses, crepes and franzipans and to a man they didn't care that the war was waiting there, 'let the ******** wait',they'd say, after all that was the gentlemanly way. The bullets striped us left to right and falling into our own falling ***** we'd call for mum and dad aye lads aye lads war is bad but for the buggers at the rear who never so much as once came near the sound of a gun, war was fun a chance to socialise, society is full of lies and leaders they were not. But death's got their number on his shell,they'll soon be joining us in hell, so ****** them and sod the lot were in a spot,we'll not get home,splintered bone and mangled limb and corporal thinks it's still a sin to swear well ****** him as well,we no longer care. As we share a final smoke,Johnny tells his favourite joke about three generals and some place called,but I forget the punch line as the time has come for one more bullet,one more gun and silence. In Croydon,Roydon and North of Watford Gap,families are spoon fed some wholesome krap from drip fed Sergeants,battle,shield and argent,honour King and all the other little things that the senselessness of death brings home. Let them keep their fields filled full with glory,we know the ***** **** filled story, war is bad war is bad I'm glad that I cant fight no more.
0
Jul 25, 2013
Jul 25, 2013 at 9:32 AM UTC
Enemies make better friends
Here's the story told to me about our glorious infantry. Louts,rapscallions,friends battalions arm in arm and full of glee marching off to join the infantry. In the rear lines drinking fine wines,hock,moselle,some burgundy and some drinking ginseng flavoured tea from some far flung idea of Empire while only half a mile along the road the whole world was on fire, were the fat arsed generals with their horses, waiting on their second courses, crepes and franzipans and to a man they didn't care that the war was waiting there, 'let the ******** wait',they'd say, after all that was the gentlemanly way. The bullets striped us left to right and falling into our own falling ***** we'd call for mum and dad aye lads aye lads war is bad but for the buggers at the rear who never so much as once came near the sound of a gun, war was fun a chance to socialise, society is full of lies and leaders they were not. But death's got their number on his shell,they'll soon be joining us in hell, so ****** them and sod the lot were in a spot,we'll not get home,splintered bone and mangled limb and corporal thinks it's still a sin to swear well ****** him as well,we no longer care. As we share a final smoke,Johnny tells his favourite joke about three generals and some place called,but I forget the punch line as the time has come for one more bullet,one more gun and silence. In Croydon,Roydon and North of Watford Gap,families are spoon fed some wholesome krap from drip fed Sergeants,battle,shield and argent,honour King and all the other little things that the senselessness of death brings home. Let them keep their fields filled full with glory,we know the ***** **** filled story, war is bad war is bad I'm glad that I cant fight no more.
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28
These are the teaching of a peaceful warrior Today, I saw three children burn, six buildings fall and nine families cry as twelve people died. But **** it! I’m western, It’s all cool. I’ve got drinkable water, I’ve got central heating , I’ve got a National Health Service, And an education from a proper school… Regardless of the fact that I arsed about and played the fool. I’ve got a sorted life. And the most I have to worry about is an unloved wife, Or monotonous conversations about other people’s strife. But maybe I’m wrong? Maybe I’m repressing the depressing parts of my day? Maybe I should open up to the possibility that I am after all human and that it’s a part of our humanity not to like my next-door neighbour just 'cause he smiles funny? But I guess that’s what we do. We stigmatise, bastardise and anyone who doesn’t match up in our eyes. So why don’t we stop? Why can’t we feel safe from the cops? Why can’t we trust the government to protect our jobs? I think I know why… ‘Cause it’s a fake system, Built on the belief that we’re all equal. Well… Some more than others. And if you’re more well off then them, Then **** your brothers! So let’s start a revolution. Let’s cut down pollution both environmentally and mentally, Let’s free the oppressed and resolve this mess, Let’s finally get off our chest the injustices of our generation and reform this nation based on equality, sustainability and chivalry. Not bigotry, frivolity and humility. And what of the military? We make of them what you will, But someone who volunteers to **** Is either messed in the head or run out of thrills. But think of it this way, A workforce of a hundred thousand strong, Who may not be aware of what they’ve done, Can transform this world both homeland and foreign. Commit our military to sustainability. If they want to serve their country then go build wind farms and H E Ps in plenty. Still I know what your thinking, None of this is realistic. Especially now the economy’s sick. And whomever we vote… We’re governed by ****** So let’s turn over this government, Let’s have a proper – civil – war. But instead of roundheads and sabres, We’ll strike and protest across cities and acres. ‘Cause the rich and powerful have no sway, When the people who generate their wealth, get in their way. But enough of my rants… what’s your say?
0
Aug 29, 2010
Aug 29, 2010 at 7:30 PM UTC
Teachings...
These are the teaching of a peaceful warrior Today, I saw three children burn, six buildings fall and nine families cry as twelve people died. But **** it! I’m western, It’s all cool. I’ve got drinkable water, I’ve got central heating , I’ve got a National Health Service, And an education from a proper school… Regardless of the fact that I arsed about and played the fool. I’ve got a sorted life. And the most I have to worry about is an unloved wife, Or monotonous conversations about other people’s strife. But maybe I’m wrong? Maybe I’m repressing the depressing parts of my day? Maybe I should open up to the possibility that I am after all human and that it’s a part of our humanity not to like my next-door neighbour just 'cause he smiles funny? But I guess that’s what we do. We stigmatise, bastardise and anyone who doesn’t match up in our eyes. So why don’t we stop? Why can’t we feel safe from the cops? Why can’t we trust the government to protect our jobs? I think I know why… ‘Cause it’s a fake system, Built on the belief that we’re all equal. Well… Some more than others. And if you’re more well off then them, Then **** your brothers! So let’s start a revolution. Let’s cut down pollution both environmentally and mentally, Let’s free the oppressed and resolve this mess, Let’s finally get off our chest the injustices of our generation and reform this nation based on equality, sustainability and chivalry. Not bigotry, frivolity and humility. And what of the military? We make of them what you will, But someone who volunteers to **** Is either messed in the head or run out of thrills. But think of it this way, A workforce of a hundred thousand strong, Who may not be aware of what they’ve done, Can transform this world both homeland and foreign. Commit our military to sustainability. If they want to serve their country then go build wind farms and H E Ps in plenty. Still I know what your thinking, None of this is realistic. Especially now the economy’s sick. And whomever we vote… We’re governed by ****** So let’s turn over this government, Let’s have a proper – civil – war. But instead of roundheads and sabres, We’ll strike and protest across cities and acres. ‘Cause the rich and powerful have no sway, When the people who generate their wealth, get in their way. But enough of my rants… what’s your say?
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54
i do not love you because of your strong shoulders to carry me or the long-wracked intellectual faculties that desert me or even your face – that launched the ship of my glass-bottle heart and sent me crashing onto a burning shore camped by all my worst fears; or because of the way my emptiness frames you like the moon on the blank pages of my frostbitten heart (but as they say, what is a heart anyway?) i do not love you because you love me besides, – there is no evidence to support such an abstraction. i do not even love you because you bring me my tea, and tuck my feet under the blanket in the winter times or because of that half-arsed smirk – the one that makes me want to punch your mouth or because i should love you because you are, i suppose, my lover. But, there are small things the way your teeth show when you laugh and your yellow tee-shirt – ugly sandals and the way you sweat when i run from you on gritty sand beaches 12 (or so) kilometres from your white walls and half-empty photo albums that funny face you make and your rough, hardened fingers from miles of copper guitar strings over miles of long dusty roads when we drive, minutes stuck between our polaroid past and the wind-tossed hair at the end of the hot orange horizon sun roof, sunglasses not smiling because we are not obligated how, when we lie together, your breaths rasping in the throat of your sleep i steal your heat, survive.
0
Aug 28, 2012
Aug 28, 2012 at 12:38 AM UTC
i do not love you
This is one of Barry Hodges "Memories" poems. **O how I recall with sadness in my poor forsaken heart How I lost my fat-arsed sister (though she was a silly **** We had just enjoyed a meal on the esplanade at Taormina (soup, spaghetti alla vongole followed by some tasty semolina) So we went for a digestive walk through the Sicilian hills Not realising we were in for some awful shocks and spills. There came a mighty roar and a dreadful smell of sulphur (even worse than flatulence or a burp caused by little Maria's peptic ulcer) Oh dear, oh dear, Mount Etna had just violently erupted With lava bursting out, from the bowels of earth rudely eructed, And with a sickening splodge a fiery lump landed on the hapless bird Causing her to die forthwith, screaming louder than I'd ever heard. God in his mysterious ways is supposed to show us his mighty wonders But occasionally I do believe he quite clearly makes some ******* blunders; And I really think it's quite unfair to cause a volcano to blow up Especially since it looked a nice mountain for bold climbers to go up; But it's an ill wind that blows no one any good has always been my motto So I emptied Maria's scorched purse, went to a bar and got quite blotto.**
0
May 12, 2015
May 12, 2015 at 10:36 AM UTC
Memories of a Mighty Eruption from Mount Etna (In Memoriam William Topaz MacGonagall)
Not arsed about your journey in. You’re boring. It’s 8:30am Aassault by tedium Boring-bastard-story. Your daughter’s thirteenth-birthday-buffet. Where’s my ******* pepper spray. Don't care about your weekend love. Where's the ******* get out clause   **** off about the pork pies and Pass me the ******* tranquilse
0
Oct 6, 2020
Oct 6, 2020 at 6:58 PM UTC
NSFW
Here I am This is me What you get Is what you see Standing here Wasting time Thinking of Another rhyme Words go round In my head I lie awake In my bed Anecdotes Similies Use them wisely If you please A blank pad A dried up pen Please don't give me Block again I need my words They have to flow And to the world They're put on show Excitement flows I've reached a peak Nah can't be arsed I'll save it for another week
0
Sep 24, 2010
Sep 24, 2010 at 1:50 AM UTC
The lazy poet
the men in their shiny arsed suits gather close to the door inhale the incense, the mothball aroma of their neighbour’s Sunday best endure the droning of the priest, who denounces the idleness of men the sinfulness of women they feel ferocious thirsts building their minds have wandered   to the pub where the publican is pulling pints of porter letting them stand, almost full, on the bar foaming, settling, forming voluptuous heads waiting for the appreciative lips, mouths, tongues of the restless church bound men. one breaks ranks, sidles out the door the others look sheepishly at each other and sidle, dribble across the road to slake their thirsts knowing that they have, barely, done their duty for the week they can, with an almost clear conscience drown their sins in the landlord’s best beer.
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Nov 23, 2011
Nov 23, 2011 at 5:07 AM UTC
Mass in the West of Ireland
I'm zoned Brains foggy Can't even hold a conversation With those closest to me All this vocabulary And I've run out of things to say So I just talk **** To fill the silence for a bit But I can't be arsed I quit How bout you take over for a sec Cause it's not just my responsibility To remain enthusiastic Asterisk *having or showing intense and eager enjoyment, interest, or approval Yeah,that's effort haven't felt that way for a while and I won't force it So you speak And maybe I'll listen If it's not more of the same Look up once or twice If you say my name Get annoyed that I'm in a stupor Don't be so vain! Can't you see it's just my brain No one's home It's nodded off again I'm in The nil zone But What can I say I'm prone! I won't pretend Its a Shame You're not entertained but this Influx of Hormones Got me feelin like being alone today Hand me some chocolate And some dumbed down TV Oh **** Just my luck I've given up dairy! No ***** to give, I'm gettin none today Just my luck I'm feelin hella ***** And my boyfriends away But **** it, I'm tired anyway Frustration got me in disarray **** you Sun! I didn't see you today It's gloomy, I'm angry, I'm stressed Call the A team Here comes Mr P.M.T and Mrs ***
0
Nov 11, 2015
Nov 11, 2015 at 2:34 PM UTC
We run on PMT
√SIGNED_FATE I looked at myself in the mirror, Smiled, but hit back with a frawning reflection, My thoughts lingered on the darkened soul, Where the black suit sheltered pain, deep sketched scars of a tortured heart... A place they found as comfortable as home, A place they cry and mourn. Daughter of fate as written, Happiness buried deep within my soul, Screams and cries of the vengeful beasts inside, Wanting to be let free, And ***** the whole situation up. Echoes of the defeaning silence, Sending me to hades... They watching, My every move tracking, Leading me on a journey there's nothing like retrieving, Where I hope to have an unerrinng ******* life, Where I wish they lull me to eternal sleep. Their voices becoming louder as I pootle in, Gravitating deeper in the gloomy atmosphere, Wild thoughts circulating in my mind, Suicidal thoughts taking the better part of me, with a force greater than centrifugal, dismantling whole of my right mind. Their open arms luring me to hug back, No one can save me now, No one can unhitch me from these chains of torment, condemnation, My mind is all frozen, My heart is all broken, Nothing's right, Maybe signing my fate is the only real thing, Maybe I'll no longer feel this emptiness, loneliness, Just like leaves gyrate slowly to the ground. Everything happens so fast, In nick of time, blade in my hand, Gashed both of my wrists, half-arsed, Gush of blood flowing, I pass out, In a pool of a blood, I lay helplessly, Waiting for my flipping Will to be read out. Signed fate... ©tiana...😭
0
Apr 22, 2021
Apr 22, 2021 at 5:30 PM UTC
Self harm
√SIGNED_FATE I looked at myself in the mirror, Smiled, but hit back with a frawning reflection, My thoughts lingered on the darkened soul, Where the black suit sheltered pain, deep sketched scars of a tortured heart... A place they found as comfortable as home, A place they cry and mourn. Daughter of fate as written, Happiness buried deep within my soul, Screams and cries of the vengeful beasts inside, Wanting to be let free, And ***** the whole situation up. Echoes of the defeaning silence, Sending me to hades... They watching, My every move tracking, Leading me on a journey there's nothing like retrieving, Where I hope to have an unerrinng ******* life, Where I wish they lull me to eternal sleep. Their voices becoming louder as I pootle in, Gravitating deeper in the gloomy atmosphere, Wild thoughts circulating in my mind, Suicidal thoughts taking the better part of me, with a force greater than centrifugal, dismantling whole of my right mind. Their open arms luring me to hug back, No one can save me now, No one can unhitch me from these chains of torment, condemnation, My mind is all frozen, My heart is all broken, Nothing's right, Maybe signing my fate is the only real thing, Maybe I'll no longer feel this emptiness, loneliness, Just like leaves gyrate slowly to the ground. Everything happens so fast, In nick of time, blade in my hand, Gashed both of my wrists, half-arsed, Gush of blood flowing, I pass out, In a pool of a blood, I lay helplessly, Waiting for my flipping Will to be read out. Signed fate... ©tiana...😭
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44
start at four unlock the doors wash the floors wash the tables cleaning up whats left over from yesterdays fun and games then start again 12 hours more of back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and scorn and whispered words of harm from smarmy englands home grown army braver now since the bigots charter britains best at the bar rat arsed again better than the rest at spending their hard earned girocheque
0
Jul 2, 2016
Jul 2, 2016 at 1:42 PM UTC
lazy migrants (anglo saxon)
'Twas in the park one day I met a chappie gay; We went behind a bush Where I saw his **** **** And I evinced a shock When he took out his **** (it was of such a size it would have won a prize). Now, so many years have passed How many times we've arsed Each other I don't know, But each time we have a go And watch each other come Up an outsider's *** We know our love is true As we call out "OO! OO! OO!"
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Aug 16, 2016
Aug 16, 2016 at 10:17 AM UTC
Edna's GAY Lover
It is the ordinary For me That so often Fills the memory This is how I tell it …… She didn’t give a **** The ice cream seller 19 years – quite pretty Sunday, New Brighton Parade : ) Hey! Wot U @ **** all Through the hatch I saw her Mobile in hand Sitting on a *** that would Get bigger – and better – with time U? At work Its crap Lol She barely bothered To look up from the phone Casual disregard, I found appealing To my ****** side U out last nite? Yeah ******* smashed Went home with that guy U know the one Two strawberry cones please And a vanilla Don’t do strawberry Just vanilla ***** mare !! PMSL I need to stop He’s using U Is there anywhere else? Yeah, try up Vale Park Just up there, round the corner It’s cheaper too U still there? Yeah, sorry, a customer Can’t be arsed today Haha, don’t blame U I left her there Back on her *** Leaning over the phone Hoping for no customers **** He just txt Wot do I do? Tell him to **** off We found Vale Park Saved three quid As with jealousy she cursed Her mate and the ice cream.
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Aug 21, 2015
Aug 21, 2015 at 1:51 PM UTC
The Ice Cream Seller
Not poetry, just reminiscing When I came out of the army in 1985 after serving for 24 years I settled in the county of Suffolk where my first wife came from Suffolk with old fashioned ideas and old fashioned views. In fact unless you had been resident for at least 20 years some of the villagers still classed you as an outsider. Anyway I decided to get an allotment (not sure what you call them in the U S) so that I could grow my own vegetables. Just across from me was the plot rented by Allen, 70 going on a hundred years old. I never did find out. Anyway it was early spring and I stood there scratching my head when Allen wandered over " What's up boy" he said I explained that I was new to the area and new to growing vegetables and wasn't to sure about when to start getting seed into the ground He looked at me with those timeless eyes and said "Sit bare arsed on the ground boy and if your **** still ain't cold after 10 minutes then that'll be the time to sow"
0
Jan 14, 2015
Jan 14, 2015 at 2:39 PM UTC
Old Country Boys
It looked like rain. Sky dark and dim. Yiska stood in the playground waiting to see Benedict get off the school bus. She needed to see him before lessons began or there would be little chance if it rained. She had prayed -at least in mind- for dry weather and clear skies, but it didn't seem promising. Kids passed on their way into school playgrounds: boys into theirs, girls into theirs. Why couldn't they mix? She mused. One school bus came in, but not his, his was a different bus than that which arrived. More kids walked past. She sighed. Scratched a thigh, brushed fingers through her hair. Then it came in around the bend. She searched the windows, hoping he was coming, hoping he'd be first off not last as he was sometimes. He was last, head down, hand in pockets, looking at the ground in deep thought. She hoped he'd looked up as he went by. She hoped. She wondered. Benedict, she called, peering through the wire fence. He looked up and smiled. Can we talk? She asked. Yes, sure, he said and he followed her along the fence as she looked for space where it was free of girls. Looks like rain, she said, looking at the sky, then at him. Yes, it does, he said, peering at her through the fence, wishing it wasn't there. Won't see you much if it rains, if at all, she said. He leaned near as he could, poked a finger through a hole and she touched his finger with hers. No, unless we arrange to meet some place in the school at lunchtime. Yes, but where? She said, getting her lips as close to the fence as was possible. He leaned in closer their lips touched between the small gap in the wire fence. Gym? He suggested. Too busy, she replied, always keep-fit freaks in there lunchtimes. He mused feeling her lips again. Warm, wet. A bell rang. They parted and she said, look out for me. He nodded and the girls lined up in classes. He walked off quickly into the boys playground around the school building, thinking of her, sensing the dampness of her lips on his, taking one last glimpse of her as he passed, the bell was still ringing, but he couldn't be arsed.
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Jun 24, 2015
Jun 24, 2015 at 3:17 AM UTC
LOOKED LIKE RAIN 1962.
It looked like rain. Sky dark and dim. Yiska stood in the playground waiting to see Benedict get off the school bus. She needed to see him before lessons began or there would be little chance if it rained. She had prayed -at least in mind- for dry weather and clear skies, but it didn't seem promising. Kids passed on their way into school playgrounds: boys into theirs, girls into theirs. Why couldn't they mix? She mused. One school bus came in, but not his, his was a different bus than that which arrived. More kids walked past. She sighed. Scratched a thigh, brushed fingers through her hair. Then it came in around the bend. She searched the windows, hoping he was coming, hoping he'd be first off not last as he was sometimes. He was last, head down, hand in pockets, looking at the ground in deep thought. She hoped he'd looked up as he went by. She hoped. She wondered. Benedict, she called, peering through the wire fence. He looked up and smiled. Can we talk? She asked. Yes, sure, he said and he followed her along the fence as she looked for space where it was free of girls. Looks like rain, she said, looking at the sky, then at him. Yes, it does, he said, peering at her through the fence, wishing it wasn't there. Won't see you much if it rains, if at all, she said. He leaned near as he could, poked a finger through a hole and she touched his finger with hers. No, unless we arrange to meet some place in the school at lunchtime. Yes, but where? She said, getting her lips as close to the fence as was possible. He leaned in closer their lips touched between the small gap in the wire fence. Gym? He suggested. Too busy, she replied, always keep-fit freaks in there lunchtimes. He mused feeling her lips again. Warm, wet. A bell rang. They parted and she said, look out for me. He nodded and the girls lined up in classes. He walked off quickly into the boys playground around the school building, thinking of her, sensing the dampness of her lips on his, taking one last glimpse of her as he passed, the bell was still ringing, but he couldn't be arsed.
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Ahhh, but, it's simple pleasures , that rejuvenate life's rough weather patches and it's interesting how animosity turns from curiosity to real world , pilgrams and biblical stories turned hindu prophecies and karmic debts paid in full . of stories unwinding, to fantasies tidings - tidal whirlpools of old age relinquishment from trapped in butterfly effect movements and conjoined twins of several natures EARTH , AIR, FIRE , WATER AND EATHER. there seems to be no end to the twin connections - but a very fine line between earth and heaven a very fine tune between love and lust a very fine sand dune's shapeful curve between trust and lack luster half hearted , half arsed apathy. it seems that there are no more fruits in edens dens , then zen masters at hand to help us through the din try not to get those dijins in your ears but let them pass freely - knowing you are safe from fear. everyone has their own soul mate but some have mates i tell ya this is set to be a pretty interesting venture , to discover and adventure across plains of realization , with the wind of uncomplicated, honest , one love as the sail and i hail a taxi to the next borderline and i know we'll be making it in time and style and keepin it all holy all the whilst we walk on sacred ground we walk on sacred ground we are sacred ground.
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Oct 4, 2013
Oct 4, 2013 at 9:44 AM UTC
Sacred Ground
"- Cheers Bob -" The can't **** squirrel arsed paymefuckall's say - "Hey, we're on the up lads and the Footsie's buoyant too ! Wall street's through the ceiling shit's beginning to accrue. So we saw no need for apprehension we've done the deed and spent yer pension" !!!
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Feb 2, 2014
Feb 2, 2014 at 8:25 AM UTC
"- Cheers Bob -"
Nine a,m. - an old suit case - and blue arsed flies. Read old news again today, poverty is dead - or so they say, a three ring circus came to play, when Maggie snatched - our milk away. Watched three Blue arsed flies doing the Indy 500 'round my light bulb, drank coffee - minus milk.
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Aug 10, 2011
Aug 10, 2011 at 8:54 AM UTC
"- Errrrrrm -"
What I've become I really despise My life compiled of deceit & lies Empty words lacking truth A deceptive nature stemmed from youth No feelings of guilt nor remorse felt Lying with ease not a moment dwelt Exceptionally tangled web weaved Ensuring stories are concise and believed People see my potential which Will inevitably die I will be the one in which all could rely There's no spark left; the excitement’s gone The first felt enthusiasm decreased to none The more trust I obtain, the less praise I receive I battle the instincts that want to deceive Trust is earned and once this is reached ; that gained trust will soon be breached expectations not met; excused by deceit I long for my recreational retreat. I could say I am sorry but it is always lie I cant be arsed anymore , why should I try.
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Mar 20, 2016
Mar 20, 2016 at 2:59 AM UTC
Deceit my sin
The Kid sits opposite the wheelchair with Anne telling him about her painful leg when it aches it frigging drives me mad she tells him she pulls up her red skirt to show him the naked stump of leg yet it aches in the part that's not there she explains he gapes at the fleshy stump of leg why is that? he asks her how the heck would I know pull that down this moment the nun says angrily coming near from the home her black and white habit flapping quick about her Anne stares at the nun what's got your white knickers in a twist? she utters to the nun who do you think you are showing off your leg stump? she yanks down the red skirt to cover the leg stump don't touch me you penguin Anne says decency my young girl you Benny why are you watching her? the nun asks I showed him where it hurts Anne says you shouldn't show your leg it's my leg what is left don't be rude the Kid looks at the nun just looking what she showed just her stump he explains you mustn't the nun says anymore doing that young Anne and I'll tell Sister Paul and the nun walks away her habit flapping slow about her as she walks what a dumb arsed penguin Anne says they both watch the young nun as she walks on the lawn to the home for sick kids by the sea anyway that's my leg or the stump do you want another look and see?
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Feb 16, 2015
Feb 16, 2015 at 3:06 AM UTC
LEG STUMP SHOW.