as i am nearing the edge of our fading sun,
as our world is one big aquarium,
- full of life...
      me, surviving the best i can, alone...
i thought i never long for that new life
born between my seeds,
all i knew is that i am okay, alone...
     no plan to plant,
just a fading list of the evading daydream...
     it's okay - everythings alright,
there's time, still,
   even if it never arrive,
     it's still alright
         for all the right
         reasons...

You speak of my frustrations
in memories aloft
High as I was in the sky,
so as low will be my drop

In most of days I long for you,
and in most I feel the weight
of the pain that sears and scorches through
my arteries and veins

How long, how long shall your stare remain  
to torment my heart and soul?
The hades of which now fills my mind
had once felt much like home

and now I hide in solitude
from suffering and from pain
To escape the toils of loving you
To sleep and never wake again.

Only the open sky
Could take my wings
Mold them into essences of purity

I was forged within
Rapid rivers of forsaken modesty
Left alone and sore below
Because my insecurities undressed me
And bedded me savagely
Before the watchful eye of the moon
The minds glowing aphrodisiac

As feathered hate falls from blackened flight
A finger is raised in denial of sunlight
A symbol of woebegone sensuality

I always come to you when i’m tired of life
Sticks and stones break bones, words cut like a knife
Sometimes i can’t sleep, i lie awake in my bed
Staring at the sky, dark, like the thoughts in my head
I, often, wonder what happens to the soul when you die
Does it roam free in paradise..can it walk, can it fly?
Will i see my grandparents, uncle, and father there?
Will anyone on earth even notice or care?
Will my body just rot on this bed that i made
While memories of me so soon they will fade
The answer to these questions, i won’t know for a while
So i’ll keep pretending as i walk around with a smile
Because i don’t have the guts to put a blade to this wrist
And i don’t have a gun to blow my brains into bits
So, i’ll keep living the same day every day
And turn to you when i have something to say
Because it’s you i come to when i’m tired of life
Sticks and stones break bones, words cut like a knife..

Time hath ceased.
All clocks stopped.
Where you passed by
in dew kissed meadow,
void of thy presence.
We hear no more
at our door
thy gentle knock.
After thy passing
and before
persistent loud cry
of Whip-poor-will.
Now that is still.

Silence.


**~Hilda~