And sometimes, sometimes the lack of tears is what's most frightening.

An impenetrable numbness that surrounds me.
Has molded around my being.
A hard shell that even a chisel cannot chip.

I am a stone. Cold, so cold.

When did I lose my heart?
When did I lose the ability to care and trust and feel?

Oh, to feel again.
The salty wet tears on hot rosy cheeks.
The rush of crisp fresh air filling my lungs, lifting me, enticing my smooth bare feet to take courageous steps on soft beds of grassy fields.

Where did that girl go? Carefree and whimsical. The girl who welcomed emotional instability. The ups and downs and all arounds are gone.

She has gone and I am here.
I am what's left.
I am the surviving soul.

My black, wretched soul.

slurred lyrics from underneath
the ***** window, ready to be cleaned,
words so peacefully spoken,
that it makes your heart dance,
spinning world,
entering a different dimension
where all you can do
is sing me love songs
on your old, rusty guitar,
and all i can do is smile,
crinkle my nose and get
lost in the universe that is your mind.

my thoughts
are like snow
falling
on an old roof

I'd like to think
That far away, in another time
Or space
Or dimension
There is another version of me
Living out the life
I threw away

The last time I saw him, he said,

"Some people just feel things more deeply than others. This can be both a blessing and a curse. Sometimes you can feel the warmth of the sun, while other times you just feel the sting of the burn."

Two days later, he was gone.

Raise my hand in class,
Raise my hands at football game,
Raise my hand for hellos
Raise my hands to show my surrender,
Raise my hands for mercy
Raise my hands for prayer,
Raised hands at my funeral,
Raised hands on street corners,
Raised hands across the ocean,
Raise these hands to send a message,
Raise these hands for justice,
Raise these hands for peace,
Raise these hands for the next of kin,
So they may raise their hands to dance,
So they may they raise their hands to laugh
So they may raise their hands to remember,
That these hands were raised to rise.

Walking down the sidewalk,
We locked eyes,
Not knowing each other's names,
But both craving the same oh so much,
And we both can agree,
that neither of us is one for prayer,
Neither an angel nor sinner,
Punished in paradise,
Aware that you and me are 2 of a kind,
Stuck somewhere in-between,
I nod my head, you nod back,
Than we continue on this journey,
Knowing that it must be trekked alone.