Placed beside you Or did I hypnotically walk to you Was it a game of fate and destiny Or was I simply charmed by your spell Was I meant to be here Or did I want to be here All I can decipher right now is that, I lie here and you beside me. At such close proximity Feeling you at every edge Like two pieces of a puzzle. A piece of puzzle with curves and edges Rough curves and worn out edges But did I really fit in?
I tried hard, Just as I tried all these years At all the wrong places Chiseling my sharp edges into curves Curves that would now fit perfectly All the while, losing a part of me. Just making me question, Is this yet another wrong spot Didn't seem wrong to the world Then why do I still feel like a misfit Like a square peg in a round hole Or has this constant trying to fit in Leave all my edges frayed I no longer recognize anymore.
Still lying beside you, Still dont seem to fit in, Still questioning, Is this yet another wrong spot?
With chisel and hammer I carve the length of your legs and the width of your waists and the bend of your arms and the ***** of your shoulders until I arrive at your brain where I reach with chisel and hammer until I come across your spring of wisdom and knowledge your fountain of thought and belief.
And sometimes, sometimes the lack of tears is what's most frightening.
An impenetrable numbness that surrounds me. Has molded around my being. A hard shell that even a chisel cannot chip.
I am a stone. Cold, so cold.
When did I lose my heart? When did I lose the ability to care and trust and feel?
Oh, to feel again. The salty wet tears on hot rosy cheeks. The rush of crisp fresh air filling my lungs, lifting me, enticing my smooth bare feet to take courageous steps on soft beds of grassy fields.
Where did that girl go? Carefree and whimsical. The girl who welcomed emotional instability. The ups and downs and all arounds are gone.
She has gone and I am here. I am what's left. I am the surviving soul.