you started singing one of my favourite songs

and i know it is yours too,

then you talked excitedly of your adventures,

i wish i was there too.

maybe one day i’ll make snowmen with you,

but more than that,

i wonder why i didn’t sing along too.

sirens blare and shutters close,
we sit calmly in our humble abode
until we smell the smell I’ve smelled
a thousand times and going strong.
we joke and skip idly around the stairs
in a fashionably orderly manner,
like in an empty amusement park.

“the fire smells good”, says someone,
and i nearly choke at the absurdity,
but i have to agree, it smells like
nostalgia, the plumes of charred plastic
filaments, remnants of 3d printers
bringing me back to better days.

as the chaos rolls along in the background,
we order truffle pasta from the vending machine,
giggle at the firemen who lost their way
and watch the sorry-excuse of a smoke
trailing away into the blindingly blue sky
as the exhausted sirens blare once again.

Shall I compare thee to a sunny day?
Our slow, bright morning starts blurring at nine,
Back to those dew-polished grass where we lay,
Your gentle fingers intertwine with mine
But hold on, what do they feel like again?
Were they soft, dry, or calloused, I forgot,
They overrode themselves with muscle pain
And the romance runs thinner than I thought:
I stare at space knowing I can’t be yours,
While you take over the physical me,
The only sense I felt was that of floors,
Blurring the edges of its boundary…

‘Tis too hard, no love weighs more than I recall,
Perhaps I wasn’t meant to write sonnets after all.

We are slowly sinking into slumber,
Into life's dark depths...
Is this what they fear?

Hush now,
Feel the waves hug us,
Let them
Pull us down, slowly, gently...

Under curtains of lights
Where memories die,
See the sea's corals
Merge into one colour...

So,
Did anyone tell you
How beautiful death looks
From down here?

Under the calm blue seas,
Untouched by storms,
Where the currents gently flow,
Drowned out by water walls,
Watch as all worries fall
Like stones-

Shhh...

Shut them out as they call
Our names.

We are slowly sinking into slumber,
Into life's dark depths...
Is this what they fear?

Oh, pity them.
Wish they were here.

But hush now,
Feel as the waves hug us,
Let them
Pull us down, slowly, gently...

Under curtains of lights
Where memories die,
As our back touch the seabed,
See the sea's corals
Merge into one colour...

So,
Did anyone tell you
How beautiful death looks
From down here?

How could I trust you
When all you said was not true?

How could I believe in you
When your actions speak otherwise?

How could I love you
When you don’t treasure what you ever said?

How could I?

I could still see you
In my dreams
As you beckon me
To take a step
Closer.

I can't, I say,
It's all just a dream.
Your smile fades away,
Black cuts clean.

I wake up confused,
Breathing hard,
Needles piercing my chest.

I miss you.
I miss you
So much.