Life’s Secrets …by Jessie 2/06

There are certain secrets to this world
I’ll share with you today
It may help you understand
The rules and how to play
First… all the things you think you know
You don’t really know at all
Don’t ever plan for failure
But trust that you will fall
See all the people for what they are
Don’t expect any more than they can give
Know that they will change the rules
To justify, the way they live
Know that people will want from you
Agendas they all have
Misery loves company
Down with you they’ll drag
A smile is but a way to cover
Deceits that they all hide
Look way past the ****** masks
To their souls down deep inside
If a favors offered to you
Ones, expected in return
Offend a person but one time
Your back, you best not turn
Agree, if asked a question
The truth who wants to hear?
Never give away…
The things you want, or fear
Time has all the value
You can never get it back
Knowledge makes you powerful
In case you are attacked
All things take a second seat
On a list of things, your one
If any, tell you differently  
From them you better run
There are quite a lot of secrets
These are but a few
Suffice to say the rules change
The game is won or lost by you

Journey…by Jessie 11/05

Entangled emotions, ball of string
End, connected to the beginning
Knots throughout
Super highway of events; create the maze of discombobulating
Weaving in and out of it’s self; until there is no trace of either end
One day I will attempt to unravel this sphere of confusion
This mass of braded calamities and happenstances  
Then I will lay the line with all of its imperfections and knotted recollections
Straight and true as any crimp line can look
Attempting to move forward… I walk the line back
One step at a time
Two steps in
I look at the line
My eyes follow the thin strand as it leads away
Sharpen clarity no more as it fades into the distance
Paralyzed to move
Fearful of what transgressions may be found
Quickened pulse, courage summoned
One more step to truth
One more step to reconciliation
One more step to peace
Hardest journey taken
Deep within one’s self
Recoiled line, remembers shape
Journey never done

I’ll Know…by Jessie 10/05

Sitting and waiting, watching and learning
Sizing you up as I go

Hearing you talk as I dissect your words
If you are lying, I’ll know

Look in your eyes and watching your face
What will give you away?

Can you remember the stories you tell?
Or will you forget what you say?

Talking and laughing, relaxing yourself
Forgetting, you’re talking to me

The others don’t care; they see what you want
But I’m not blind, I can see

It bothers you so and I understand why
It’s like walking a verbal, mine field

Blame yourself; you planted the mines
Don’t ever expect me to yield

Some say it’s a gift; I challenge the thought
It’s hard to ever have friends

Never get close; the view will get blurred
For this my safety depends

I…by Jessie 7/05

I don’t belong of the flesh or the mind
I don’t belong from the beginning of time
I don’t belong in a thought or a word
I don’t belong

I find myself running from place to place
I find myself looking for me in your face
I find myself searching where no one will look
I never find myself

I cry for the pain that burdens the world
I cry for the tearless boys and girls
I cry for the suffering that plagues every man
I cry

I hurt, even though I am numb
I hurt so badly, I want to run
I hurt to point of feeling no pain
I hurt

I wonder if things will ever be good
I wonder if things will be like the should
I wonder if I will have what it takes
I wonder

I WILL NOT CRY…by Jessie

I never seem to understand

The pain that fills the world

An endless supply of agony

From every boy and girl

The problem is I feel the pain

In everyone I touch

From the very core of every soul

There seems to be so much

And even though the pain I feel

Hurts me deep inside

I rather feel the pain of theirs

Because mine I always hide

I know the thoughts of everyone

Their secrets and their needs

I know my thoughts as well you see

Like wounds they always bleed

I cry at times

Though no one sees

For those that are in pain

But I will not cry for myself

There is nothing to be gained

I Recall… by Jessie 10/06

Recall the day from whence you came
When endless days were not the same
Take hold and care
Do not let go
For I recall

Black and white and hues of gray
Recount the dullard of the days
Eyes reflect of empty stares
Untouched, remote
As I recall

Both corners of the mouth
Turned, neither north nor south
All affect was lost, cast into the night
Twas but the shadows, which changed the face
As I recall

Turtle days, creeping by
If only I, knew how to cry
Swallow hard
Choke it down
Yes! I recall

Then, sun lit rays seeping in
Stained the room, and cleansed the sins
Melted heart and heightened senses
Colors now abound
As I recall

Tranquil peace, this stranger’s name
Known by more, but all the same
Intervening, locking heads
Saved me from my tortured cell
As I recall

I Need You…by Jessie 4/05



You are not here but I feel you
As I roll over in bed and stare at an empty pillow    
I see you
Lying peacefully next to me, like an Angel
I reach out and you are gone
As I walk the early morning preparing for the day
I hear you
You are in the wind, the sun, and the air I breathe
A warm breeze from the south blows in
I touch you
Vaporous and transparent yet substantial in it’s caress  
As I walk the fence line of honey suckle
I smell you
The sweet fragrant essence of what I know is you
As it begins to rain, I lift my face to the sky, open my mouth
I taste you
The purity of the morning rain
Soft and delicate as it hits my tong
I look around, you are not there
I sense you
Holding me, loving me
I need you