Chills travel across my skin
Led by your words alone
They spread through my limbs
As your hand lines my thigh
This is bliss
Nothing else exists in this world
Nothing else matters
I have never felt so connected to anyone
And I've never been so lost in a moment
You're a goddess
**** and sweet
A beautiful mind and a gorgeous face
I could lay with you forever
Kissing you until my last breath
As you trace my fingertips with yours
Electricity runs through my chest
Shocking my heart and
Taking my breath away
You're perfect
Stunning
Brilliant
And I am the luckiest person
To be living this moment alongside you
As we lay together
Surrounded by soft music
Time is nonexistent
All my anxiety disappears
All I feel is your soft skin
And the way it feels against mine
My heart races and stops simultaneously
As our lips meet in the dark
I can't get this smile off my face

all i know is
everyone around
me is unhappy
and i guess
i am too

When we're together
There is no past
There is no future
It's just us
You and I
And our anarchist tendencies
Out radical minds working constantly
Trying to dismantle the systems that oppress us
While forced to work within them to survive

This feels unstoppable
We've been through some heavy stuff already
And I guarantee there will be more to face
With openness and honesty
We overcome the forces of life
And pave our own way through
Because even if we knew
What a future with free love looked like
We probably wouldn't follow it anyway

Every day is an experience
Challenging what I thought I knew about love
I'm slowly learning to love and trust myself
And I'm finally seeing what a healthy relationship looks like
What it feels like to love someone
To be in love with someone
Without the dependence and trust issues
I've become so accustomed to

This anxiety is excitement
The fear a reminder of my humanity
And although I hate the concept of forever
I hope you stay for a while

I wish
I believed
in god;
that way,
I’d have
someone
to blame
and thank.

I wake up cold in my bed
And cuddle up next to someone I care for deeply
Waiting for a moment
To text "good morning" to the girl I love

Bliss.
This is free love.
This is beautiful.

I'm lost in the moment
Lost in her eyes
A vibration on the table brings me back
I expect it's from my love
And it is
But not the one I expected

Instead
My ex-fiancé's name flashes before me
Followed by the smiley face I never removed
"Hey"

What?
I'm in shock
Is this an accident?
And old message stuck in my phone?
It buzzes again

"Could I ask you something"
My heart is racing
What could you have to say to me?
"Those letters."
I guess you read them
"Do you still feel that way?
Or have you moved on now..."

I'll never move on
My love is limitless and endless
But for that same reason
I'm so confused

Of course I love you
I always will
But I love someone else too
And I know I'll love another soon enough

My love needs more than monogamy can give me
The experience of polyamory is all so new
It's liberating
And it's beautiful
And I love it
But I love you too

You are almost every great memory
That I have from the past 2 years
But I'm also a different person now
Than I was four months ago

I still can picture a future with only you
But polyamory would have to come off the table
I don't know if I'm ready for that
Even if I don't know what a poly future looks like

I need time to process this
I need a minute to breathe
I need to reflect on these possibilities
Love is a beautiful thing
But right now it's suffocating

i sit across a redwood
familiar strangers
who hear themselves asking how i am
but never hear me answering
i sit behind a redwood
tip tapping feet in the shadow
they want to tip tap on out
i sit beside redwoods
others with their own familiar strangers
who hear themselves asking how they are
but never hear them answering
strange how we bond over
the fact that no one
is bonding
happy thanksgiving to my
unfamiliar kin
here’s to another year of
never being thankful until
we feel guilty
about it.

2 weeks it's been
Immersed in this world of open love
Such a short time to spend
But my heart feels so liberated

No longer trapped by the confines of one
A sole opportunity to share, give and express my love
Now I can let my feelings come undone
Within the safety and boundaries of mutual respect

My lovers, almost three
Each offer a unique chance
To share this love and feel free
This love is a beautiful thing

I did not anticipate this formation
I did not set out a number of partners to seek
I entered this with no expectations
And it happened to grow this way on its own

I love each person uniquely
No mutual exclusion, no impact
Each love forms and runs deeply
Individually, yet always connected through love

once or twice you
were in my arms
i remember so clearly your hair in my face
the scent of your shampoo
and the touch of your fingertips
coming to rest on my cheek
once or twice you
were an almost that i went home wishing for
a maybe that i should have latched onto
once or twice you
made me think it was close and it was real
and you kissed my nose when
i thought you were going to kiss my lips
and i’m not complaining because
i think anything more would be
too much
but still if you wake up today
wondering if you should have
you should have.

when a boy shows you his hands
bare except for the dust
he’s begging you to look past
take them in yours.
squeeze them once.
twice.
say without speaking
that you understand that the valleys
in his palms were meant to cradle
shooting star wishes
that he’s allowed to still hope for.
when a boy shows you his eyes
of milk and crimson and melanin
a bloodshot vein for every night he can’t sleep
let him shut his eyelids.
say without speaking
that you understand that the black hole pinpricks
of his irises hold more than the universe
should allow.
when a boy shows you his soul
shivering but still working toward friction
iced over but still working toward melting
let him come to rest next to yours.
say without speaking
that you understand that he is lonely
and that his silence speaks volumes
and that you kept his treasure close
because you love him.
when a boy shows you his hands
show him your hands.
when a boy shows you his eyes
show him your eyes.
when a boy shows you his soul
show him that
this is a comfortable place to rest it.
when a boy shows you the hardness that shaped him
show him the softness
that you have in store.