As I lay in bed, swimming in a sea of darkness
my body remains still like the air.
I think of everything that could falter
and I'm left with a feeling of despair.
My stomach turns, my body shakes
and I can't escape this feeling.
Anxiety has made a home in my head
and covered the path of healing.

Fog filled the air
but the view was beautiful
The budding leaves were misted
by the delicately falling rain
The ground was soft beneath our feet
from winter's gradual thaw
soaking the dirt and grass
You stood at the edge, silently
admiring the frozen lake
A word was never exchanged
but so much was said
A new beginning for us both

With every inhale of smoke
comes every exhale of regret
My need for relief relies
on paper and tobacco
and I am chained
to their demands

Like an anchor in choppy waters
my heart is made of steel
and sinks to the bottom of
the sea of my emotions,
holding my whole being in place
until the waters are calm
and peace overwhelms me

Everything was fresh and new
in the beginning for both me and you
Our stories untold waiting to escape our lips
only scratching the surface, exposing the tip
of the glacier we call our whole being,
the rest hidden under black waters waiting to be seen
Our journey to the abyss has been dark and cold
Can we last one more minute without any hold
to the ground as we dive into the unknown,
searching for things that have not been shown?
Will you stay here with me underneath it all
to wait for something luminous to fall?

I am worthless
I'm about to fall
But that's okay
No one else cares
So why should you?

I am worthless
I can't contribute
All I do is waste
Waste anything and everthing
Food
Water
Shelter
Words
Light
Time
Space
Everthing I touch is wasted

I am worthless
Don't bother trying to save me
If I leave
If I die
It will be better for everyone

I am worthless
Just let me die

It used to be
That I would escape the world
Through sleep

Then the nightmares came
And now
I am not even allowed
That 'luxury'

Too mild.
Days drop like rain
fast, fast, swirling!
but never a hurricane.

Doomed eyes that see ecstacy
and feel pain;
like looking for eternity
on batteries.

She made me feel the void
were my lungs can’t find my chest.

You ******* peach-lined sky!

The intensity in those eyes—
it smells like morning dew and art.
Nefarious watercolor concoction
of beauty from the inside
(sigh).
Feels like a stroke
because it turned my heart
into a bully of its own feelings.