I know what's good
for me but
I feel what's good
Isn't good for me.
The minutes go by
you know what you
should do but
you do not do.
enemy to yourself
Hostage held at
the highest ransom
but no one knows
your in danger.
In danger of
your self.
You want help but
you do not seek it.
Anxious, nervous... You
wait to improve  but
you do not prove that
you know what to do.
"Just do it!" you say
angrily. "I'm sorry" I say
I'm sorry to say "sorry"
a powerful word when over
used, you used to say what's
the use of being sorry
if you truly are't.

I am not afraid to die.
Maybe it is because
The effort of existing is
Expanding my lungs exponentially
And when they explode,
I will deflate
But I have come to terms
With the fact that
What goes up, must come down.

You wrote to me,
"Do you like being human?"
And I said,
"What else is there?"

I do not believe in God.
God does not believe in me.

I want to carry my mortality
Close to me
To hear it collide with the loose change in my pocket
To check to see if it is still there
When the sun trades places with the moon
And my father smells like coffee.

I like the feeling of
Smoke igniting my throat
Because then I can convince myself
It is only the tobacco
That is eating me from the inside out.

I do not want to be immortal,
The thrill of being alive is that
It is a privilege.

Why do you want to be God?
You will know evil,
My god, you will know evil.
There is no cure,
Not even you
Not even you
But that is okay because
Nothing is good, if everything is good
Nothing is good
Nothing is good.

Let me feel your humanity,
I want to feel
You.
Tell me, do you like being human?
Tell me, what else is there?

**** me, my mind
said so. Heart doesn't
like to talk anymore,
since she's been beatin' one
to many times by nervousness.
Anxiety and Depression
like to have threesomes
with me, ******* me
from all ends.
I'm so sore, they do
it raw and sometimes I bleed.
Whenever I talk Anxiety's
*** still lingers in my mouth,
it reeks. He made me swallow hard.
They told me
if I said anything
what would be
the point.
They're not
real.

I am not an all knowing
being, but a being with that of a mind
so open as the universe around us.
I claim I think like no other,
I may be wrong.
I find that everything is beautiful with a reason,
I may say I don't care but "that",
may be a lie.
I can say I dislike "Bad" comments,
but that is "they".
I may be selfish , but that is "me"
I may seem dramatic, but that is me as "myself"
I am an observational individual.
I may be selective of what I question, But
that is "I".
I may not be a Lover, but that doesn't mean
I would not like to be "happy".
I may not be a Fighter, but that doesn't mean
I will not "pursue happiness"

There is a truth
I know,
and I feel the truth is something
no one wants to know.
Like most realities
others would most likely
want to be blissfully ignorant,
I can't say I wouldn't
Disagree. But it is worth something
unlike nothing,
nothing has no matter
something is a matter.
However dense, however hollow
There is worth in anything,
maybe in nothing
seeds of thought sprout.
Consciousness grows with each
ounce of sunlight from each
passing day.
Branches extend outward
from the origins, in the name of progression.
We grow, we understand

My *** is rare
like a prissy feline riding
a horse with an attitude
that is diamond.
But, oh, when you have it
horizons become golden
Yellow stones Ol' Glory shoots.
The "O" on my mouth is
missing an X.
XO, XO
roughly my own gender prohibits
further exploration.
Sexuality flows like water
crashing and smashing
smooth and rough
refreshing.
Lemonade, **** and nasty
just how I like it.
Puckering, *******, licking
*******...