Bec - Hello Poetry

Bec Jul 2014

Lessons

If you think for one second that
I will let you back in,
just remember that everybody you meet
is not meant to stay.
And I thank God for that
because I will no longer take your
words that leave scars in my skin.
I refuse to be the villain of your story
that you are so convinced I am.
I have watched you burn down and you
can clear the wreckage on your own.
My structure will not falter
in your wake.

- R. H.

#love #self #sad #strength #fighter #confidence #care

Bec Jul 2014

Trees

I became attached
to you,
the way some people tend
to do.
I let you in and you took root
in my bones.
Last night you told me you were leaving
and now
there is a hurricane I cannot control
uprooting you from me.
And I would do anything to be able to dig my toes
into this earth and make you stay.

- R. H.

#love #sad #goodbye #you #miss #moving

Bec Jul 2014

Dear Illness

This is my white flag and
I surrender with every ounce of me.
I refuse to fight you anymore;
this battle cannot be won.
Because this war in my mind
is never ending
and I am the only soldier left standing.
I am certain that the smoke will never clear
and I have become terrified of what
has made it's home within it.
Please, do not send help,
I've given up on my own terms
and I will lose graciously.

- R. H.

#self #war #depression #sadness #battle #me #about #givingup

Bec Jul 2014

A Friend

If Death came tonight, knocking at my door, asking for my hand,
I would not hesitate to go with him.
This place, this home, is not meant for everyone.
I will lock my fingers with his, cling tightly to his bones,
follow him anywhere.
This life has worn me down,
"tired" has become a part of who I am.
I refuse to stay here, perpetually sad.
I will go.

- R. H.

#sad #depression #life #death #tired

Bec Jun 2014

First

Our first date,
you took me back to your place
and I stretched myself out
on your air mattress.
You refused to sit,
wanting to stand a bit longer so you could
watch the way I moved.
You played guitar and sang for me
and it was so unbelievably cliche,
that I had to kiss you in the middle of your song
because I needed you to know how happy I was.
I cannot count how many times your lips
found my cheek that night.
You were perfect
and I was a sucker for dark hair
and blue eyes.

- R. H.

i considered this our first date. he always tells me he considers our first date to be the time he took me out to dinner after he came home from his trip, which was a few weeks before this, before i even knew he liked me.

#boy #cute #crush #romantic #date

Bec Jun 2014

June 10th

Yesterday, I gave the boy I love
a belated birthday present
from when he turned 24 on the 9th.
I found the perfect sized box,
a small grey thing.
My hands shook as I gave it away.
Inside would find him a single silver blade.
My blade.
I said to him, voice unsteady,
"This is my gift to you. This is my way of saying that I'm done."
He asked me if this was the blade.
It was.
I never knew that an object so light
could feel like the heaviest weight
lifted from my shoulders.

- R. H.

this is dedicated to my best friend. the only person who's ever cared enough to sit and talk to me about my self harming. his birthday was monday and i knew this would be the perfect gift.

#love #boy #friendship #selfharm #birthday #recovery

Bec Jun 2014

Notes

You were asleep long before the sun had set

And twice as long after it had risen.

So I left a cup of tea on the table beside your bed,

With a kiss on your cheek and a note

I love you when the days become your friends

And I love you when you can’t bear to face them.

Everything that’s you are the best things in my life

- R. H.

#love #relationship #couple #caring #notes