I stand waiting for a bus.
Two women are next to me,
They're dreaming of good luck.
One asks the other
"Do you think it'll ever be?
Do you think I'll ever be happy?
Now that she's left me?"
A sister, a mother, a lover?
Who's to know.
But the pain in her voice is raw-
She can't have left long ago.
The wind causes my hair to spiral
And I flatten it in haste.
But the women don't seem to care-
No they don't want to waste
Any energy on themselves.
The other talks of her child:
A girl of almost three.
She speaks with such love,
Such joy but such woe:
She is worried her father will take her
Away from her home.
The bus pulls up and I mount it-
To me it's just a bus,
But to them its wonderful wheels,
Will take them to good luck.

You beg me to reply
But I can't see the keyboard
Through my tears:
They have blurred my vision.
A puddle forms at my desk;
A multitude of guilt and sadness
Flowing endlessly from my pained eyes.
I wish I had the ability to disguise
Myself like others
And pretend that I'm okay-
Smile like I'm fine and
Shrug the pain away.
But I do not have the strength
For you have broken me.
So, for now you'll have to be patient-
Maybe forget about me?

why are you sad?
don't you know that you are the most beautiful person
who has ever walked this stupid planet?
there are stars on the tip of your tongue
and i swear your heart is bursting with the sun.
can't you feel those skyscrapers in your lungs?
they are trying to build you up.
and your soft lips contain all that love
just let it loose baby.
i have seen you and your brilliant colours,
every shade of you is beautiful.
and i'm pretty sure that your smile emits warmth
because when you are happy the whole world
gets a tiny bit warmer.
how can you possibly be sad
when you have the power to warm the world?
please be happy-
we're all getting a bit cold.

You litter my soul with your lonely heart
But each time I fall for you, you tear me apart.
Yet still I praise and compliment and smile
Pretending that I am able to wait for a while.
But how long until you are ready?
It doesn't matter-
I'll wait forever.

Every word of yours
Is like a knife penetrating my fragile skin.
And as my blood pours from the wounds you created,
I lie.
I lie to you
Because it is easier to hurt me than it is to hurt
You.
Beautiful, beautiful you.
The words leave your mouth with good intentions but
By the time they reach my delicate ear they are plagued with pain,
The pain of your love.
It is unbearable.
You see that you're hurting me but
I smile
That fake smile that I have become so accustomed to.
I reassure you,
Sugar-coating my comfort with little stars that formulate into kisses on          your sweet lips.
I am fine.
I am fine.
I am fine.

We write poems about the same girl.
Isn't she beautiful?

she means so much to me.
i wish i could show her that.

I saw stars in your eyes
And they shone
Like diamonds-
They were beautiful.
We ran together,
Forever running
Towards us,
Away from everything else.
I held your hand
For affection
Or protection?
I clung to you.
Now you won't let me go.
You are chasing me and
I am running away
From you.
The stars in your eyes
No longer shine:
They are black holes.

I'm in love with the way you move,
The way you smile and the way you kiss.
I'm in love with everything you do,
But I'm not in love with you.

With you, I laugh for a lifetime.
Together with you is happiness.
No day with you is ever blue,
But I'm not in love with you.

You touch my skin softly-
Such a gentle touch for a strong hand.
Before now, my heart has never been true.
But I'm not in love with you.

We run together,
Incandescent beauty shimmering in our wake.
I hope my days with you are not few.
But I'm not in love with you.

Your startling pulchritude
Holds a certain mystery,
To which I'm scavenging to find a clue.
But I'm not in love with you.

And as we windmill home,
Our hands clasped together like we will never part,
We vow that time we will subdue.
But I'm not in love with you.

As we kiss in the moonlight,
The typical romance induces a magic we cannot describe.
It dances between us,
Between our eyes.
Whispering as though it were a dangerous secret
You say "I love you".
And I smile and repeat the phrase.
But, darling, I'm not in love with you.
I'm not in love with you.

It’s funny, isn’t it?
How you recognise them everywhere.
The people of your past.
You hear a voice
And you could have sworn it was your childhood best friend.
And the way someone laughs
Reminds you of her,
Your first love.
Throwing her head back,
Cackling with carefree bliss.
The glint in someone’s eye,
Or their attitude to life,
Brings back your school teacher,
The one who was so full of spirit
And inspiration.
And even people you’ve never met,
Are brought to life
By somebody else’s smile

Your skin emblazed on mine
Gardens of the night reach out to us
And I can’t escape the time
That I was free.
Floating away from the stars that call to you
They were never enough
Inadequacy surrounds my every move
And wishful thinking never got us anywhere
The clouds of surrender were always ephemeral.
Acatalepsy pulled at my heart
Until it dragged you away.
You could never see the beauty
Always inimical to the epoch of our lives.
Did it ever mean anything to you? The veracity of the vitality of life.

They say your name and my whole body pulses.
My sleeping breath is filled with thoughts of your ambiguity.
It is not clear to me what you are.
You are more than a human, more than a being.
You emit a radiance that stops everything from existing.
The world is you.
You are the world.