The person I see in the mirror is not me.
I hear you say “how can that be?”
The answer is simple; the demon inside has taken my place,
it punches my skin and tells me that I’m the biggest disgrace.
My arms are stained red and my mascara has run like a river,
I discover the monster that's where I should be with a shiver.

I miss the little girl you used to be,
you're now just a shell of who I used to see.

Your eyes used to twinkle as you found something funny,
but now they are dead and you barely smile, honey.

You used to dream the impossible and had hope in your heart,
but I've seen the way the world broke you - now destruction is your art.

You couldn't be protected from the evil presence,
so you escape reality with the drugs that give you pleasance.

You used to cry when you grazed your knees on the floor,
but now you don't even flinch when you cut your wrists to the core.

You used to ask why people would want to die,
but now you understand all too well as you lay in bed and cry.

You used to pretend tic tacs were medicine as you popped them on your tongue,
but now you sit with hundreds of pills in your hand wondering whether life is worth it; you're only young.

You used to be full of life and enjoyed most of your days,
but now you're dead behind your mask and you're always in a daze.

He may have won the last eleven battles as you tried to end your life,
but I am telling you that you will win this war this time and above him you shall rise.

I miss the little girl you used to be,
you're now just a shell of who I used to see.

people tell themselves lies

the past was better

it could have been

it should have been

something good and clean is coming

just beyond the next door

or wreckage is sure to be found

dwelling on ***** footprints left on clean floors

or ruminating on memories of accomplishment

all prove pointless

closed eyes draw up decor plans of  imaginary next moves

a chess game never played

bringing blame and hate

to every stage, and every game

appreciate the room that needs work

floors to be mopped

shelves to be dusted

windows to be cleaned

that brings hope

books sitting in shadows should be given light

I may not leave it all behind in a search for nothing

but I hope to leave enough

enough to l know I've passed

enough to know I was there

to know I cared

a little anyway

enough to search for more

beyond open doors

past nonchalant glances

and end-zone dances

towards high-****** rewards

and self assured back pats

just for now

I want nothing

just for now

I have everything

just for now

Amid fear and suspicions,
with agitated mind and frightened eyes,
we melt and plan how to act
to avoid the certain
danger that so horribly threatens us.
And yet we err, this was not in our paths;
the messages were false
(or we did not hear, or fully understand them).
Another catastrophe, one we never imagined,
sudden, precipitous, falls upon us,
and unprepared -- there is no more time -- carries us off.

I wish,
I could keep you
Free from endless fear.

I wish,
I could save you
From the never ending tears.

I wish,
I could tell you
All the stories of my years.

To insure you,
You aren't
Alone.

-ARI

i want the feeling
the press and the weight and the grip and the fingernails;
the hair and the burn, the neck and the throat;
the gaze and the tears, the lips, the mouth, the spit
the tongue and the teeth (the fangs
and the bite);
the kiss and the lick, the grinding, the pushing and the
circles of the hips,
the fat of the thighs and the brush of the ankles;
i want the liquid and the hard, the sticky and the sore,
the pain and the sting and the ecstasy of the pleasure;
i want the eye rolls and the sighs and
the gasps and the moans and the screams and the whispers;
i want the banging of the bones and the rubbing of the skin,
the crashing of the waves, the rumble of the storm and the
hissing of the breeze.
i want to meld the two of us together until we become a thousand,
and to never cease sipping on this wine of heedless madness
that we blindly drown in.