I will shatter the mirrors
that reflect me as anything other than
the strong woman
I am becoming.

No. No, I'm not.
Those words should warm my heart but instead they just fill me with dread and despair,
I want to be loved,
I want to be waited for,
I want to be wanted,
but not by you.

"Stop making me fall for you."
I'm trying. I don't want you to fall,
but you're plummeting towards the ground at 100 miles an hour and I will not be there to catch you.
I don't want you to love me,
I don't want you to wait for me,
I don't want you to want me,
but I don't want to break your heart.

"I can't wait for the future."
But I'm still hung up in my past.
I want to get married,
I want to have children,
I want to grow older,
but not with you by my side.

"Honesty could never hurt me, you can't hurt my feelings."
But I can break your heart.
You've given me everything I need to shatter it into two,
three,
four million pieces.
but what kind of person would that make me, to break something so fragile?


I will never grow to love you,
no matter how long you wait.
I don't want to break your heart, but keep pushing
and it might end up being too late.

we're taught the dangers of drugs, told that
"it only takes one."
one drink, one hit, one choice,
as though it's the single poisonous flower out of a beautiful bouquet.

given the choice between a living rose with thorns or
an entire artificial arrangement,
the risk of bleeding will outweigh the everlasting disappointment of the fabricated beauty
every
single
time.

I don't want to love you anymore.
but how am I supposed to make myself fall out of love
with the one who taught me
what love really feels like?