I put my pen to paper
as I leave half my worries behind

Vomited the words I once engulfed,
as I realised,
they were always mine.

Your shadow and mine,
far apart in space,
far apart in time

Waiting by the edge of birch
waiting by the edge of the world
waiting for fate to end our search

I find very little encouragement
to live my life these days,
it used to be different when I was ten.

I remember walking down this street
humming and skipping in full joy,
Like I had the juiciest fruit in all of the world
and that fruit held secrets,
carrying more than just sweetness,
It was big, golden and shiny
I think that fruit was my heart,
It was always so full.
Almost overflowing
with sickening sweetness,
exasperating energy
and a sticky smile that was always there.

I would dance around, walk fast then slow
I would roll around, talk so loud then low.
It sickens me now.
Why was I like that ages ago?
What made me so excited about life?
To wake up every day and just....live?

It sickens me even more
That I can't have that again.
It also confuses me
because what is human life
if not a change after change after change?

When I was younger, I used to think I was going to be a Star.
Under a spotlight where everyone knew my name...
I was five.

Now, I want shadows and to be as far away as possible.
Hidden and far from consequence,
And even further from myself.
Where my name is not a name,
But just another word without any true meaning.

When I was younger, I used to think I was going to be a Star.
Now, I want to disappear.

I should have jumped overboard when I had the chance.

people change everyday
so i vow to fall in love with you
every time the sun rises

s.s

every night i softly cry
eat an apple, hope to die
you've left me here, so red and flushed
im waiting for you, but i feel rushed
the bleeding heart slips from my grasp
i run to catch it in a dash
but only you can break its fall
and as it hits, I slowly crawl
to you.
adieu.
goodbye,
sweet lie.

I am never gonna change.
I don't need to.
I'm already everyhing.
I am what you call deranged.
People see that.
I'm already dead.
Far away and out of range.
I don't want to.
I don't need friends.
I am never gonna change.
Just so you would.
Start to like me.
I am not controlled or stopped.
Say goodnight to niceties.
Goodbye to free will.
Hello misery.
If you ever cross me.
I'm sorry doctor.
There's nothing to cure.
I just hurt because I can.