As I look into your eyes I see a story unfolding before me.
I see the regret, pain, and the decomposing of faith burrowed in you.
But that is only the outter layer.
You have not realized your true place in life.
I see that You are truly amazin and are indfinitely strong.
You motivate me to be strong and to keep my faith  as well.
And I can see myself with you for an eternity.
I would cherish every waking moment with you
and dream every second of you.
Be there for you through the pains and aches
And be there til your last birthday cake.
I want to see every chapter of your novel unfold
because I want to be in every one of your stories.
I'm willing to take the good, the bad, and the ugly for and with you.
I promise not to hurt you or desert you
and even if our heads collide ill still stand by your side.
All I ask is that your honest, and loyal as I will do the same.
Just know the way I feel about you has no set date or time frame. <3

{RP}

Ooh ah ah
She showed me the things love can't forget
Oh it hurt now
Made a list of my regrets
And you were the first, love, oh
Oh it hurts, I can't forget
How it hurt now, oh
Made a list of my regrets

I am at this point of my life
where it feels like strings are attached to my pinkies
& they are at the tips holding what's left together.

At a loss for patience with this same weather that feels & smells like rain,
here waiting as I am physically, mentally, & emotionally drained.

No salvation, no help, no mercy,
feels like everyone is entertained by me hurting.

How long can this continue?...

{RP}

How did you get here?
I'm drunk and confused
I tried to be patient with you
Yeah
High up, but you fall down harder
Trapped in the concept
Falsely accused
Misused, and misled
*****, I'm hoping you ******* rest in peace
(I tried to be patient with you)
(Yeah)
(High up) Now the fact that I'm alone is ******* comforting
And I can't seem tolife flies, so just carry on
With this pain inside of my chest
Got no choice but to carry on, uh
Yeah
How did you get here?
I'm drunk and confused
I tried to be patient with you, yeah
High up, but you fall down harder

Dead inside
Spend a lot of time stuck in this head of mine
Under the assumption love is dead, already
Just let me be here
Where was I?
When he was feeling on you with his hands, at night?
Seen the vivid pictures in my head, at night
It left me in tears
Where was I?
When he was feeling on you with his hands?
Seen the vivid pictures in my head
I'm under the assumption love is dead
Where was I?
When he was feeling on you with his hands?
I'm under the assumption love is dead
Seen the vivid pictures in my head

I had hoped for things to be different...
If only talking to you had been more simple...
Nothing I did was right too you...
Why should I have not given up? It was the safest option to choose...
The way you treated me, you gave me no choice
And I am better than that...
I deserve the best and so do you.
I refuse to be option!
because in my heart I know
that I am your solution...
As what I lack financially,
I make up intellectually,
And what I do not have physically
I wield emotionally.
I  had hoped you opened your eyes,
to realize that you need to come to me...

{RP}

Stuck in my ways as it has become a habit

she yearns for my attention and has not  grasped it

My intentions were not to lead her down this ravine

Yet, my heart is not ready to give in from the routine

As I could not consciously lead you astray

My first mechanism is to push you away

“It will not be long” oh great, now I sound cliché...

That THIS, will just be another severance left to decay.

{RP}

Life is a never ending game of crucial decisions.
It is like whatever path you choose
there is a trap ready to squash whatever idea you may have had.

So basically we are born into this world to grow up, learn to survive, and work as modern day slaves save up for retirement and die. Yes we are all promised a graveyard, but yet we can not live the way we would like to due to repercussions of laws we have to follow.

Also during this got dam amazing so called mother ******* "Free Life" It is in my best interests to find a woman to love, for the rest of our lives while producing the next generation of modern day slaves.

I must say Bravo! This nations government keeps so many things under wraps just to keep the people somewhat satisfied while still eating their fill.

Back to me ranting about love in this generation...Ha! it is a mother ******* joke. Attractive women want attractive men which have a job, a nice car, some social status, and is financially stable. Ok all those things I mentioned yes are Great perks, BUT!! 99.9% of those guys lack sense of humor, they could care less about your feelings, are very likely to cheat on you in the future , AND are with you because you are attractive and/or have all these great perks I mentioned that women look for.

It is truly sad because it looks like it is getting worse as the years pass by. I know exactly who I could have a great and fruitful life with and I could be everything she had ever wanted and more! But of course My physical image is not what she wants so she will continue to be oblivious and will continue to get her heart broken time and time again. If you are reading this WAKE UP

{RP}

Who ever thought it would end like this?

No emotions because the reality hasn't settled in.

Dam, to love and have lost

to have it all and now I am back at square one again...

**** man! dam...could this really be?

that having true love just really isn't meant for me?

No matter how hard I could try,

I swear I have lost love one too many times.

I want to give up hope it feels with me that is a trend.

That this broken heart of mine really has nothing left to mend.

It's been a long time since I have seen you old friend,

I didn't hope to see you again.

Loneliness, man ****! so you are telling me this dark heart has to grow cold again?

Just because you decided to come strolling in again?

You caused so much grief and hate, too much back then for my heart to take.

And when I thought everything was going to be fine like a ******* addiction you come back saying one more ******* time.

The hate for you I have only few will comprehend

I just want to say Loneliness I am not happy that you are in my life once again.

{RP}

Its a brand new day,
I awake to my mind in clutter,
Same routine, different day,
I shower my sorrows in cold water,
As I step out, I carry on with my daily mask society has given to me,
Argueing to myself saying what I do isn't right,
But, clearly nothing in life is given to you,
So I serve relentlessly, not thinking at all about the consequences,
As I see new faces and meet new people I say,
"Hello, nice to meet you, I AM your local street pharmacist."


{RP}

The pain in my heart just won't end
The words that I find just don't seem to compare
Awaiting my death in the end
Alone, I must seek out the end to begin
So nobody wants death
'Cause nobody wants life to end
I'm the only one stressed
I'm the only one tired of having fake friends
Put the noose on my neck
And the hole in my back, again
I've been waiting on death with a smile on my face
This is the end
Waste of tears
Waste of years and months
Faced my fears
Loving her for once
Hurtthis is the bed,  me
Break my heart
Worthless
Can't keep love at all
Turning, twist myself
Worthless
Can't keep love at all, at all

Who do I have?
Heaven and hell, my friend, my friend
I won't fit in here
Everything must end
Hello, from the dark side end
Does anybody here wanna be my friend? (my friend)
Want it all to end
Tell me when the **** is it all gosave me, n' end?
Voices in my head telling me I'm gonna end up dead
So save me, before I fall
So save me, I don't wanna be all alone
So save me, before I fall
So save me, I don't wanna be all alone

The pain of a broken heart,
As you left me to rub salt in the wound,
I watched your back as you left cold-heartedly,
Sitting in my room alone I weep,
From the exhaustion I cry myself to sleep...
The nightmares of you with another,
Just wanting you to come over,
Just tell me that it's not over,
As I wait day after day,
But no reply, just the awful cold shoulder...
Im starting to hate you, resent you, but still have Love for you...
My emotions scattered as moving on alone is not easy,
The healing of a broken heart is not easy,
To find another without thinking about you? Not that simple...
I am at a dead end. What am I to do? The last few years I've been with you.
I don't know how to move on, I don't know where to start.
At this point I feel empty and I feel like dying to end it all!
I wish this pain onto no one. I ask, "why me?"
Will I ever move on?...



{RP}

I have been hurting for the past 3 months,
I have met someone new,
Her name is Molly,
She introduced herself to me and I took her in,
15 minutes passed and I felt a rush,
*** my knees are buckling as she is caressing me,
I never felt more alive...There is a surge of life that reincarnates me,
Instantley I am In Love...
As I talk to her she tells me everything is going to be ok, you are with me now,
I give into her and she gives me the willpower to carry on,
I tell her, "Molly I trust you, please give me the strength and will power to overcome any obstacle,
She says back, "Manny I will take care of you, carry on and live life with no regrets, you have me I will ALWAYS take care of you."
As I entrust in her I get goose pimples,
My face immediately  chooses a different character,
This is the turn around for me and the beginning empire I will soon begin,
As I carry on I will never forget the day of my emotional turn around,
The Day that I met lovely Molly.


{RP}