Oh Mama.. Please
Just admit that you are wrong for once and i'll tell you that i'm sorry

'Cause Mama... we
are going head to head
But not heart to heart
So can I introduce you to the real me properly?..

I'm a girl whose still in love with another's daughter
She said 'Don't give up' and 'i'll stay strong' is what i told her
See you think that shes the reason why I'm so bad
But i promise theres more to it than just that

Oh life, is not exciting until you see it through the camera lens,
And heartbreak's inspiring until yours is broken by your best friend
And families aren't perfect, but we try to be again and again
Oh but am i really so bad?
Or just struggling to leave behind a legacy from dad..

Oh Mama please,
Don't be ******* me
I know i cry a lot
But you did too when you were 16

And mama please
Let me cry and scream
Cause inspiration comes
From pain,
According to me

So i'll go out tonight and
I'll take the long way home,
'give you time to stop being angry
Cause all the shouting and the doubting won't help you understand me..

Oh life, its such a mystery
When it takes love to know what really is misery
And friends, my friends all know me
Even better than i know myself
And that means something
'Cause in this life we all need help

But can i pay for happiness with just my music..
Throw all the money and the greed and self loathing pities of the world,
Into a bonfire and lose it..

Oh mama sometimes i just like to lose myself.

Him and her..
They're like peanut butter and jelly
And he shows her off on his arm like perfume because deep down he knows he's smelly

But no.. I can't write things like that
'Cause deep down i am happy that she's happy

So hey sweetheart, can i call you at sunrise,
Wake you up for one last time?
Before i see you again in the far future,
Dressed in white

Someday soon i'll forget
How you looked in that dress
And the way he spun you around and around.. (i don't know if this bit actually happened because i tried to look away a lot but it probably did lol!)

And maybe you'll read this poem,
Hear my song.. Someday soon
And find that letter left at Prom
Instead of my cinderella shoes..
Yeah someday i might actually stop crying, locked inside my own tower
Wishing i was dying
But in reality wanting to grow
And glow like your favourite flower

... Yeah someday soon, i'll send flowers
But addressed to 'him&her;'
So they could be yours, not ours..

Oh friends and poets
I don't know how to end this
But like how i end most friendships,
I'll say the old 'Cathy classic'


i'm so in love with you
With him or without him.

I'd send you poetry
I'd give you all of me
I'd love you gratefully
I'd buy you err.. A mercedes
I'd sing you m-
Gah
This
Poem
Should've
Ended
By
Now..

(So where do we go from here?)

Sometimes I look at my sister, Alex
And can't help but worry that someday
She'll lose her true love in the same way that i lost you.
I got you back just to lose you again
And i mean, i know that they say if you love someone you have to let them go, but where do i go, where can i go without hearing your name and seeing your face everywhere? .. It's you in all the coffee shops, it's you in the subway shop, it's you on all the trains that lead nowhere and it's you i hear telling me that i'll move on, i'll get there. But the truth is, i don't think i can.. You are the most beautiful and most amazing girl I've had the privilege to love, and you're the most beautiful and amazing thing I've had to lose. I didn't know you for 300 years, actually, i knew you for just the one year but what we had felt like it could've lasted an entire life time. I'm writing this letter in hope that it reaches you in another life some way or another because i..  i need you, i miss you.. i love you
..But i can't have you can i?

....Well, there's nothing 'magical' about heartbreak is there?.. Not even for a wizard.

Hey there Christina,
What's it like to roam the city
When there's boys and girls who look at you, thinking;
'Isn't she so pretty?'
Well yes you are..
You're the prettiest soul in the world by far, but why are you so far?

Hey there Christina
What's it like being on stage?
I'm at home tonight writing this for you,
But i know you'll be just great
Give it all you've got..
Sing as if the microphones are off :')
Like i'm there to watch

But oh, what happened to us?
Cause oh how i've been missing you so much
And oh my love was never enough
But it's stronger now than it ever was

And Christina i can promise you
That by the time you read this through
I would have tried to live my life and get somewhere without you,
But i'd rather go back to square one with youu..

.. Hey there Christina,
I hope you always find a reason to smile,
Even if that smile is no longer because of me, I'm glad I meant something to you for a while,
And i'm still writing to you,
Every single day.

Dear.. Friend,
Well it's been a while since
I was the reason behind your smile
&It;'s been months since
That supposedly 'last song' i wrote you
It's been lonely nights and scary flashback rides,
Since our.. 'Supposedly' last goodbye
It's been weeks since
I found the courage to speak
Such truth from my... pen.
Yeah i froze when your eyes were there, in front of mine, so sweet.
Oh.. friend.
It's been years since
I felt any type of love and here
I found it, in your touch and in your grace
Forget me not, for all our days
They add up to an infinity +1
And my heart still lights up
When i see your face,
Even if it's being cherished by another's..

It's going to take a while,
Maybe weeks, months
Or if i'm lucky just days..
Not to forget you
But to let you
Be the happiest you can be,
Dancing in such a broken place

&In; an infinity -1 total of days,
You fell in love,
With someone who i hope;
Will always be the reason behind the smile on your face,
inspire your r'n'b driven songs
And will give you comfort so you'll never have lonely nights,

And when you close your eyes before you dream and flashback to how it used to be,
I hope you remember soft whispers;
'please don't give up, for me'

'Cause i never did, you see
You saved me.. from me.

In an infinity +1 total of days,
I fell in love with moments,
And this is 'supposedly' the last one i'll crave from you, ever
...Though that's a promise made to be broken :')
'Cause i want you forever.

I love you, forever

I love you
I love you

* Whispers * I'm so in love with you,
if only we could be
But hopefully 'forever' will pass
Just like our tiny infinity.. :(

Nature is the sun light
Heaven is the night sky
And we're standing in between..
Passion's in the music
When it should be in the bedroom
We love such beautiful things

And power's in the money
When it should be in the poetry
They're losing sight of the truth..
And religions in a big book
When there's no faith in their small hearts,
Oh what a ridiculous thing..

But love and life
Is black and white
In a world that is mostly blue
They think that i'm crazy
'Cause i've fallen for you
But i'm in love with beautiful things
Like, paintings and pretty places too..
And breaking my heart is the most beautiful sinful thing you could do.

Bike riding in Paris,
Shopping for a new dress
Oh what a vintage way of life
Pictures with your boyfriend
Pictures with your girl friends
Oh what a beautiful smile

There's courage in the war
But its still wrong to hold a gun
So what do we **** for?..
Something like material
How about i raise a flag up for all the heroes
Who fight for all the beautiful things..

Oh life's a beautiful thing,
**It is.

Your eyes are killer to me.
'Sharp as the blade that cuts
Emotions out of me
&You;; stare is cold as can be
But it was never really like this
Could've sworn your arms
Used to be more inviting

But oh, i built a fence around my heart to keep you out
But you've found a way in, to my head somehow..
(And that's a dangerous entrance)

So how, how can i move on
When you're everywhere i go?
Oh but if theres one more thing you need to know, before you exit..

It's this;

I'm in a maze but please don't find me..
I'm in a dream but don't you wake me..
I'm in a world where there is no one else quite like me..
And i'm in love, but please don't save me.

Cause i'm afraid you can't save me,
You made me love love and now it hates me,
And now i don't know if i should be heartless..
'Cause maybe things would hurt less
If i used my heart less..

And if all is fair in love and war..
Won't you tell me how this self loathing war ends?