God talks to me all day long
And I talk to him
And this is the way I've learned to get on.
He keeps telling me to press on
It won't last forever,
But I have to remember
Only He controls what will belong.
A world where I see you several times a week, but we don't speak...*****.
But I'm hoping it won't last long.
Because I would rather be a blatantly
desperate and in love with you friend
Than an exgirlfriend who is long gone...
I've just never found a better friend than you.
I don't think needing that is wrong.

Theres more in this life than I think I can handle,
legos pile around me,
hell is becoming more understandable.
Every little mistake I've made
burns my soul with unending flames,
the memories toy with my mind
like Lego games.  
Building blocks around my heart
and shredding the bits of humanity I have left apart.
Stacking up the walls higher
and stronger to keep the emotions away,
if it all falls down
the insanity and anger will come out to play.
So these Lego games that block out all the hurt
need to stand tall,
I can't let anything break down or my life will
crumble
and
*f
  a
    l
      l.

The truth is bleeding out of my pores
And yet the feelings are all bottled up inside
I fall out of my skin, disappearing out the back door
Losing my mind, struggling to find the best place to hide
Running laps around the sounds of my own screams
Trying to decide which dreams I should or should not believe
Thinking that my life is no more than it seems
And these struggles I have are sent by the devil to deceive
It works; the lies, the hate, the pain that I'm put through
It makes me break down and I get scared of the truth
But the suicidal thoughts in my mind all lead back to you
And the tears that stream down my cheeks burn like a fire
That's bigger than all the flames of rage from my youth
It hurts; it builds in my soul before it pours out my eyes
Becoming rivers that flood my life with disguises and lies
I don't know how to make it all fade away, to disappear
Because it's more than I can handle and I hate to admit it
But it fuels my spirit and awakens all my childhood fears
Chilling me to my core, causing me to give up, simply quit
How do I do that? How do I commit myself to suicide?
Is that what I really want? Is that truly what I need?
Do I believe that my life is only my choice to decide?
And if I hide in the corners of my mind, will I still bleed?
These are the things I ask myself every morning when I wake up
As I stare at all the sugar settled at the bottom of my coffee cup
Then the caffeine hits me and I finally start to think clearly
What was I thinking? There is no way in hell I'll ever give up

be over the clouds behind the mountain or over a hill
may a lottery winning be one dollar away or
Publisher's Clearing House knock on my door?
Might Audrey Hepburn be eternally young stalking me,
might cat bark and dogs not **** on fire hydrants
or ants be less numerous
or gone be alive or time slow down, might
the rainbow shine, all the colors combined into bright.
All the wishes be at her end in a *** of golden
love and eternity?