"So what kind of guy are you into?"

*"The hypothetical kind... They're the only ones who don't leave a path of destruction in their wake."

You've tasted the good parts of me and spit them out.
They were of no use anymore and
all you left me with was this black area that I tip-toe around.
I put on makeup, band aids, gauze and wrap,
but I'm always so careful not to touch it.
It makes me flinch with searing pain;
it would crumble my soul again with just a deep look in.
That soul I fought so **** hard to save,
but yet here I am:
staring
gazing
into the mirror all along the jagged edges of this hole.
I trace the mirror reflection of it with my fingers.
My angry fingers, bruised, red, cracked...
Fingers that would have never looked good in a ring from you.
Maybe just for tonight,
"Just for tonight." would be what an addict would say, I think with a laugh.
But maybe just for tonight, I'll dip in.
So I shut off my phone with sad, angry fingers
that would have never been beautiful.
I was beyond ready to be swallowed up.
Taking my ring finger,
the finger a ring would have lost shine to be on if someone had ever seen me that way,
and dip it in the liquid black abyss.

i'm gonna wade into the river tonight
feel the current sweep me off my feet
the water will tell me how i should see
i won't even try, won't put up a fight
because i can't keep you to me any other way
you're gone before my eyes
and my legs are already beginning to sway
but please tell me before i go any deeper
if you were here would you try and stop me?
and because it's the right thing to do
or because i was all you could see
it's cold and my hands are all twisted
but i can't even think of me
just where i want to be

jagged breathing
because it hurts
watch you all feeding
the blood coming out in squirts
in, out, in, out, clutch my sides
a hole that takes up my whole torso
the raw edges burning in need
look closely, you can see my heart slow
i've soaked my clothes with the bleed
in, out, in, out, clutch my sides
dear god, my ribs are pulling apart
i can't breathe, i can't ******* breathe
my lungs, oh my god, my heart
i'm beginning to seethe
in, out, in, out, clutch my sides
i'm holding my sides together
my precious arms keeping me whole
i'm becoming light as a feather
but i can't hold together my soul
in, out, in, out, clutch my sides
please, i just need to be held
my arms are tired, keep me one
please, i just want to be quelled
i've really become undone
in, out, in, out, clutch my sides
people are the brightest when in love
i just want to be in love
that's where i want to be when push comes to shove
why can't you just love me?
in, out, in, out, clutch my sides
this hole won't seem to go away
it consumes me all day, every day
hold me, i'm beginning to sway
"love me." is all i have to say

slice me open and climb inside
explore and see what you find
me? you won't see me
deep inside I hide
I come and go with the tide
the pain comes in high
and far back I go to where I reside
I live among the ribs
the heart is my moon
but there's a patch in my ceiling
the blood leaks in
leaving this torn feeling
it used to be made of tin
but then a huge force broke it in
I rebuilt with wood
but it was just no good
so I'm a nomad, I wander
so watch where you step
I might be down yonder
ready to be your last breath
I'll catch you in my trap of death
you can beg and plead
but there is no mercy here
you need to bleed
on your soul I have to feed
you'll disappear with the rest
don't you know this is only a test?

So bored
and so dead
that little monster I fed
and now she's fat,
full, and a little brat
she starves me
content on watching me bleed
making sure i drown in need
she burns and chokes me
I can't stop embracing her
the only piece of me I have
can't lose her in the cure
and I need to be so sure
so sure, My Love, you are
i'm kissing the killer
clutching my demise
keeping her close to my heart
she's with me always
my only company
she listens always
always, always, more always
she's killing me
i'm gonna cuddle her close
cause if I'm going down
I'm taking her along for the ride