It's subtle, but impossible to ignore;
The way a room changes with your presence.
The way our eyes continually search to steal another quarter second glance - you could say we are both in a trance.
Peering out corners of eyes, just to watch the other.
Nerves that make the body ache, invoking thoughts to make the heart flutter.

In downtime my mind traces lines
around the places I might find
Your existence in my life.

Is it just me, pondering the thought?
Am I the only one with feelings being caught?
Am I scheming again, to find out more, when in reality all is naught?

it started with stolen glances
where i allowed myself to dominate— fill it with the soul of you,
it was as if the moment have been familiar of us, that i started to pour myself for it taught me it was souly for us;
quite an illicit that i learn to flow in a disturbant waves— silent, in an absence of colors

and you drowned me with black and greys in hope i could grasp meanings

why do i hope in this absent lighting i’m in
clear as it is it’s empty
like an absence of torches
and maybe i still hope of something you never give,

in a place like this, i still hope of you
and what could‘ve been

if it’s us.

They will not yearn as crude as I
I will tie you up
My grief, sweet *******, is you
My despair laughs at your victory
There is nothing to spare here
Go and gulp the dry world up
Go or do not
I will feast on nothing
               and I will rejoice

To serendipity I yearn,
Yet my soul holds no clue.
The fires of self-indulgence burn,
Unyielding to another's woo.

But life without ambition feels tedious,
The longing for love grows more obvious.

My monotonous days now find cessation,
As my heart seeks leisure, a new elation.

This is the price I have to pay,
That's why some say 'loving hard' is a curse.

As much as I love wholeheartedly,
cutting into my chest and opening up my heart…
I am but only a tiny flame flickering in the midst of the fire.

I can give everything, but she will always have other people to love…
to cherish,
to be vulnerable with,
to trust,
to build recurring relationships,

And I will just be another choice, a record on the dusty turntable lusting for your hands to set me into motion once again.

But... nobody said love was easy.


Nobody speaks of the jealousy,
the envy,
the selfishness,
the yearning to need someone so deeply or to be needed with as much intensity.

My perspective of love, is that it can be selfish … demanding … obligatory;
full of needs and wants.


But its beauty lies in everything it is made up of;
including the selfishness to hide a person away for your own benefit.

The demanding feelings to give someone your best,
Even when you are at your worst.

In the obligation to care and be empathetic, highlighting your best attributes.


Love is always going to be everything it is,
And everything it is not.
However difficult 'loving hard' may be,
I would not choose to love any other way.

You left without a word,
Threw me away like a used tissue,
Your own child, your blood,
I still hope you feel pained,
As my absence remains.
May your nights be diffused with sorrow,
As you toss and turn,
As your mind makes a river,
Filled with my own tears,
Flowing through your mind day by day,
I hope my absence makes you ponder,
Weighing down on you each day,
A constant reminder,
Of what you lost when you walked away.
Inhale the bitter cigarette, let it burn your core,
May each breath bring the torment you made me implore.
Now you lie in the grave, and the silence is my wound,
The pain cuts deeper knowing we never met,
After you left.
Never bound.

To drown in your sirenic gaze
is what I yearn for the most,
even if it leads to my
inevitable undoing.

How I yearn for thee
Your smile my reprieve

Yet you lack the same gaze
I feel short in your praise

For I am in love with your esthetics
Simply blind by your aesthetics

But, I feel you find me not comparable
It simply feels that you fine me tolerable

How I yearn for thee
Alas I feel no reprieve