Ouch, A pinch brought me out of where I was
Where was I, who was I, i suddenly felt the urge to sigh
Ooooff, it was my birthday, I was turning 18, another rating, said my friends who were also anticipating
Was I alright?, Miss Chad looked at me in fright

I don't know, Just started looking at classic **** a little to deep
I suddenly knew what to throw away and what to keep
Some birthday gifts just weirdly started spelling the word "creep"
Am I but another lost person or lost sheep

Nauseous, I thought I was sick
I turned on the TV and started calling Rick and Morty, Morty and Rick
It amounted to no time that my homies started seeing signs of the ick
From chilling with the mandem to playing the ladies's pick a *****

Now I'm at a refute to leave
I'm no longer able to play "lots to take, less to give"
Wait, I now have my own taxes and bills
The money I have at my disposal, gives me the chills

Hold on, wait, is this truly maturity
This isn't what my friends told me I should be expecting
Well, it's happened, and at least, I know it can be handled
***** maturity, ***** grown-ups, alas, they are still boats you have to paddle!!!!!

breakfast in bed and perfume lingering in the stuffy air
stiff bones, the smell of bacon traveling into my bedroom
the hoarse lungs of his gagging and coughing in the other room
slamming bottles down in the kitchen, mumbling to himself
tears might be trapped inside his eyeballs, but he flicks them off before they spill down his regretful face
i lay in the half made/half messy bedsheets, almost motionless, sunken into the duvet
piles of vintage clothes laid all over the carpet, distraught and in a panic
my breathing slowed by the adrenaline rush of last night, heart beat skipping
he stumbles and grips the doorframe tightly, observing if i am asleep or not
my eyes pulled shut, tight as an opening to a safe, trying to calm my breathing in fits of trepidation
his hands—cold and clammy—graze my arms and he sets the tray down roughly
“eat,” he demands
i leap out of my pretend slumber, panting in worry, but too exhausted to fight it

so i eat.

Only time will tell they say,
but when you're living in the moment...
time seems like forever, a forever eternity that you been waiting
and longing for, for the most half past hours.

The clock ticks away and you're still in dismay, hoping for that hour to come quicker.
Minds racing, heart is thumping, i want the answer NOW.
You tell me every night you have gone to sleep and that you're sorry about how tired you were....
but now your mother tells me to send fourth a message whether i' am talking to you tonight?
Does this mean you've gone out without a say,
if so then you just cast me a stray.
This cannot go on forever.

I feel like I'm the only one
who really cares
about the pandemic.

I feel like I'm the only one
who is scared
to infect someone I love.

I feel like I'm the only one
who sees
that a storming is coming.

I feel like I'm the only one.