I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to get married October 3rd, 2020.
I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to walk down the aisle in a white gown I picked.  
I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to walk myself because I'm not an object to be "handed off".
I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to get closer and closer but yet it feels so far away.
I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to see eyes on me I only wished would have given me that much attention growing up.
I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to vow to the man I love that I will "always be with You".
I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to cry because life feels like its moving so fast yet the moment's pass so slow.
I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to pray that people care enough to come.
I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to hope his family accepts me without a second thought.
I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to convince myself that "I'm strong enough" to hold it together.
I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to marry the man I love and want to spend the rest of my life with.
I'm getting married in October.
"I'm going to be his wife."
I'm getting married in October.
I'm getting married.

.

So today i feel a lot older.
Not so much wiser but a little bolder
With 8 years between kym and me
In my eyes shes still only 3.

Accident prone and always darling
Beautiful even when sisters are sparing
Wether falling off a trike or up the stairs
Or helping our dad with car repairs.

Beauty and grace is always forefront
Even when we used her for a McDonald's hunt.
So proud of all you have done
And i know i speak for everyone.

Love is something thats not easy to find
But jordan is brave and kind
Some traits that usually dont go side by side.
But its attracted my sister to be his bride

A big day for my littlest sister
I know He will be an amazing mr.
With love and admiration
And knowing theres a strong foundation.

I find myself struggling to let go
But im happy to call you my step bro
Congratulations, and life long blessings
I wish you the best and for once im not messing.

As the doors opened,
a beautiful bride I found.
With a pure white gown,
matched with a pastel,
well-arranged flowers, and
a colored hair, chesnut brown.

It was her. The woman I love.
The woman who made me feel
good, and told me that I'm the best.

She is now walking down
the aisle, slowly taking steps
with her father in a celebration
that everyone had gathered.
You can see in her shining
blue eyes the pure love and
happiness she felt.

She made it. She is now in my
front, wearing the best smile
she could ever give.

And there, the moment that
I've been waiting for, the
moment that everyone is
excited for.

I thought I can say,
"I do, Father"
But I was wrong;
Because the right thing
that I should say is,
"You may now kiss the bride".

My desire to die is sneaking into my heart again but this time it’s wearing a white dress and a veil.

midsummer day-
The sun was calling us by the names
Two little brace faced dorks running out her back screen door
To find a secret hideout for the day
With composition books in hand of course
Our Top Secret  composition books,
Where we wrote about our futures, and boys (shhhh)

We ruled the streets of Bennington woods
Claiming the oak tree in someone’s yard
Where we competed for height in our cheap foam flip flops
Owning the pine trees of another
Where we spied on the teenagers
Trying to understand their secret language
But it was under an old wooden porch where we pulled out the books
And this time, we’d plan our weddings

We would wear beautiful dresses and pointy high heels
Just like a princess
And most certainly marry our dreamy little  blue eyed boy crushes
I even crossed my heart and hoped to die so she would be my maid of honor
Last but not least, we had to choose our wedding flowers

It was the season of flowers; tulips, daisies, marigolds…
Every house was decorated in a colorful array
We ran exuberantly, scanning our options
Then began to pick away
Every flower we knew or didn’t,
As long as we had one of each
We covered the entire street til our hands and books were overflowing
At home we taped them into our precious journals
Sealed forever so we would remember,
These were the flowers we’d have in our wedding bouquets

Wedding bells
As fortune tells
Two souls as one

Happy times
And stupid rhymes
A future about to begin

White lace
And a sunny place
The things of dreams

Yet you won't see me
I will stay under this tree
Like an Ode on a Grecian Urn

No lace for this girl
And not a single dance to whirl
Because I am not bride nor groom

So leave me be
And go and see
Two souls as one

To whats poetry is left unwritten,
though no-one can never detached
from their personal history, regret &
shame seem to always take home
in our private souls. Eyes open agained,
do I dare accept it’s beauty I see in you,
it’s void in the inbetween, I took the
price tag off from it & made love
priceless in your entire essence of
existence. Biting our tongues,
sleeping underneath the covers,
distant in the absence, in ease
in gradual acceptance, to what is
poetry lays in experience. Just spent
my entire energy, getting your attention,
breathing for the
first time, when I rest into a personalized
paradise safety of your arms, it’s
like reality colliding with mythological
Holiness. And I feel love for the very
first time. To what is poetry unwritten
is immortalized in our memories.  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEadD3s-5go

I can see it now
The crowd a mix of strangers and friends
The stark white or rather the crisp lacy soft white all around me
The loud talking among such soft sweet music
The touch of your skin on mine each time our hands meet
The soft click of heels on the floor
The warm look in your eyes as they met mine
The contrast of the petals against the ground
The tenderness in your voice
The love in the air