Imagine you've cut a cake five or six times, each slice having the same color, however, a different shade.

Now replace the cake with sides of oneself.
Now Replace oneself with Me; I am that cake.

The me that is of a higher mind, which I consider my conscious.
I have a side of me that only manifests when drunk.
A side of me that only manifests when high.
The me who is sober.
The me that represents my thinking.
And then there is him, Malum.

The darkest slice of the cake. He lurks, spectating, snickering...planning.
He's the voice in my head that wishes I were dead...so that he could swallow my vessel and turn it into his own.

He and I have a contract; I am to control and maintain my body, so long as I never been put into a full-on life-or-death position, or I am not mentally sacrificial.

I've witnessed potential realities in which he had control...and it's terrifying.

I hope he never gets out.
I am not afraid to fight, because I fear failure; I am afraid of Malum and what he will do. He is not human...and he definitely doesn't fight for humanity.

He is the me that wanted the world to burn...and he still does. He has no empathy, no sympathy, and he craves destruction. He's calculated, analytical, and he lacks love. He is pure evil...and he is waiting.

He is waiting for me to die.
So that he can swallow me alive, and turn the world upside down.

The vastness of the universe;
Inconceivable!
A drop of water within the ocean;
Unrecognizable!

Above calm ocean surface;
a drop of water can cause ripples;
For how long does this ripple last?

Above the earth surface;
a mortal brought changes;
For how long does this change last?

Humans, no different from weeds in the mountain fields;
Mountains, no different from stray rocks on earth;
Earth, no different from rolling marbles in the constellation;
Constellation; no different from willows branch in the universe!

Such greatness!
Myriad laws weave Ten Thousands Things within the great universe;
No living can escape the laws;
No dead being can escape the laws;
Nothing can escape the laws!

The pain never seems to go away
But i know you're still with me everyday
A part of me left when you died
for months i cried
Although sometimes i feel your spirit with me
And every-time I see that monarch butterfly
I know that you are near by
You may have left too soon
But I know your are here, up by the moon
thanks you for always keeping an eye
While you’re way up there in the sky ❤️

it's like feeling eyes on me at all times
like angels tracing my moves
four heads turning my way
i can't move
they'll catch on
i'm held beneath my own breath
not a sound
no release
i can't get up
just to pass on the baton
just to trace the angelic figure
but i don't move there
i can't move there
i can't be seen
heard
eyes all around
limbs straight
watching me lord
there is no lord

i write out my feelings.
are they true? are the words i put out true?

hell, i don’t even know.


reading your poems about her, god

*******.


****.

yknow?


i don’t know if i can do this.


i’ve gotten better, honestly,



but now the scent of food makes me gag,


the sight of you makes me warm.


and she glares, making me stop.



i want to hug you.

to call you mine.


BUT GOD I ALWAYS KEEP QUIET FOR TOO LONG AND I DONT EVEN KNOW IF THE THINGS YOU TELL ME ARE TRUE BECAUSE IM SURE YOU WOULDNT TELL MY **** BUT-

but-

but it’s okay.


i’m a bit jealous, is all.


oh well.



at least your happy with the person who took you away