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Hi Oct 2021
What is more deadly?
A gun or a thought?

A  gun gives you the opportunity
But the thought pulls the trigger..
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Talia Sep 2021
Satisfaction i crave
From a relieving blade
Replaced by the temporary
dopamine wave
K Sep 2021
i don't recognize you in crowds anymore.
i don't have to see your face in every
blond haired, blue eyed,
morally ambiguous white boy.
i can hear your name
without the lightheadedness.
there is no more bile to hold back.

i don't think i will ever forget the feeling
of you. your hands. your tears
on my back the minute you finished.
the moment you realized
what you had done. tell me,
did your god ever forgive your sins?
and by sins, i don't mean the ****.
you didn't fear the legal repercussions,
you feared hell.
adultery was never your scene,
you told me.
you did not have premarital ***.
that was a sin. and you were not a sinner.
tell me,  what did your priest say?
did he tell you that god loves you?
just as he does all his creations?

do you remember what you told me?
you repeated it so many times,
it is engraved into my brain.
you kept telling me god would forgive me.
that he would forgive me.
god knows we can't help but to sin.

but i wasn't the sinner, and
i'm sure this will come as a surprise,
but your god does nothing for me.
there is nothing your neglectful
and lazy at best god can offer me.
you're going to tell me
that "our father" who art in heaven
chose to lead you into the temptation
of my nonconsenting body?
should your benevolent savior be real,
just know you were delivered to evil.
salvation has nothing on the trauma i've endured.
Johnnyqu33r May 2021
Saccharine manic pixie dancer
Holes in her nose and in her teeth
Hands outstretched above her head
Reaching for stars and relief

Saccharine disassociated baby doll
Spending days declining asleep
Whispering about her pain and dreams
Until she can stand tall just to fall again

Saccharine neon party princess
Well rested and preparing for the chase
Lips on lips and nose pretty powdered
Dosed eyes close heavy after sunrise
Inspired by a song
Sarah Delaney Mar 2021
He treats me like a Queen,
Still I can’t help but wonder if he will be like you too
Funny how I am afraid of what he might become yet the most comforting place I’ve ever been is his arms.
I look to him for protection yet I fear him and what he might do,
He’s never given me a reason to doubt him but most of the men from my past life haunt my thoughts, spreading lies like wildfire
I run to him, almost as if being attracted by a magnet, it’s out of my control
I cringe whenever he takes his belt off,
I know he would never hit me yet the memory of leather striking my skin like a whip,
My mother’s hands pounding on the door and her dread-filled screams,
lingers in the back of my mind like a nightmare I cannot escape from
Now that I am older it’s easier to understand she knew what he was capable of,
She had been in my position before,
She never told me as a child because I had this glorified image of him,
He was the first man that seemed like he wanted to take care of us and love us,
I viewed him as a father and even called him Dad
He had just loved his alcohol and cigars more than his love for us
I sometimes start to think about what our future children will look like,
But I stop in my tracks because that evil voice in my head asks “what if he turns out like him”?
Will it always be like this, I fear
Raven Mar 2021
Do you ever just
Sit on the bathroom floor
Staring at the blades
Hoping someone will know
Maybe send a text that will save you
From bleeding tonight

Do you ever just
Lay in bed
Wondering where
Everything went so wrong
Wondering why you are so hard
To love

Do you ever just
Go for a walk
And wonder who else is
Walking around lonely
Wishing to run into another
So that maybe they can be the one
To save you from yourself

Do you ever just
Drown in music
Staring at the roof
The stars
Or the ground beneath your feet
And wonder how many others
Feel the way you do
Or if you're the only one
Whose at the limit tonight

Do you ever just
Wish to be on the moon
But with no air to breath
So that you can finally
Die in peace
its boughs, so large and heavy
but its leaves lean to the wind
just as sadness marches steady,
to the beat one’s starts to sing

winds that cause the willow branch to groan,
pluck like harp strings, dry and rustling leaves
who speak of rope- over them thrown
when a weight should come to pull them,
it is not exactly known

life starts with hope,
and from there, the path is forked

life either dies with the sunset,
or sees the moon in panicked fraught

trees end in branches,
and on those branches tied-
are braids that end in knots

such as the willow, knows in its heart
those who come and see, afar
hides the body hanging from it
with its leaves and broken heart
Lee Brewer Feb 2021
I drag the blade across my jagged skin
My breath is heavy and cold
Tears pour down my face as cutting never gets old
A lot is pouring out
I hate this addiction, it needs to stop now
But it can't, I can't
I cut to feel something, I hate feeling numb
It only helps for a second
This poem is kind of a look into my mind when I self harm
Nola Leech Feb 2021
He punched me last week
And told me that he was joking and that's between me and him
My friends saw and helped me break it off yesterday
Today is my eighteenth birthday
And I am nothing like my mother
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