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Nobody Mar 18
we
          are
not
         the
same


        and i hope
we never are.

       you
worthless
     hopeless
undeserving
      awful
monster.

we
          are
not
         the
same.
Was it a day?
Or had the years collapsed in a fleeting decay?

The nights grew heavy, crushed my chest,
My eyes wept secrets I never confessed.

Tears turned bitter, cold, and dry,
Hate and regret took their place in my eyes.

"Mumma..."—I whispered, lost in the night,
She laughed it away, My hands reached out, but no one was there,
Just shadows and silence and empty air.

Was it the night? Or was it me?
Building walls too dark to see?

Trapped inside, no way to tell,
Was this the day I truly fell?
The days when you were at your lowest, no one you could reach out to. The days when you felt comfort in death perhaps! The lowest of low.
LinaM Mar 18
An unscathed face cannot hide unseen scars
It can only go so far beyond the iron bars
Today I see my reflection in any piece of broken mirror
Even shattered glass can capture my pain
Otherwise invisible to the naked eye
The last bit of hope will soon die
If I don't find a clover with four leaves
So I can ****** my fate from these time thieves
Even a broken mirror can see the pain I deny
Bless Kurunai Mar 18
It was a rainy day. Black clouds float past and above
It was almost like she could just reach out,
And touch them from her apartment window.
They're so close. Just an arms length.
All she has to do is extend her arms.
But they can't be touched. Not like that. Not so easily.
Just how close they seem, yet they are forever out of touch.
Reach out to them, and they'll shift further.
Call out to them, and they'll run away.
It's a good day outside. She likes the rain.
Rain never felt sad to her. It felt like comfort.
The blank clouds above are like giant heavy blankets.
Wrapped around the whole world in a loving gesture,
Telling the world, they should all sleep today.
And dream of the years we have all left behind.
She has left behind a lot too. Who knows how much.
Happiness? Has it been left behind too?
She hasn't felt happy in quite a while.
Maybe it's just stress from work.
Maybe she just needs a change of pace.
Has she felt happy before?
Of course she has, hasn't she?
During those long days of summer?
Many many years ago from now.
There was no school, peace of summer break,
The taste of orange popsicle, in a park close to her home
Sitting alone and looking up at the clear sky.
It was a blue sky. Unlike the grey of today.
A lot of the stars that shined behind that sky,
Still shine under the black cover of today.
No one saw them then, no one will see them now.
So many things just get forever left unseen
Both under the bright white light, and the stone cold dark.
Just like the horrors that laid under the small little head,
Of a young girl, with a popsicle in her mouth.
She still doesn't remember most of them today.
That's good. It should remain that way.
Things that are hidden should stay hidden.
But what doesn't stay hidden are their effects.
The sun can keep the stars away for as long as the day is,
But they still stalk her back, right after dusk.
That's why she loves cloudy days.
Who cares if the darkness is gloomy?
At least it doesn't leave when the night falls.
It hides the stars. It hides a lot.
It makes the sky feel full. It makes her feel full.
Happiness? She doesn't want it. As long as she's not empty.
Was she ever happy? She doesn't know.
Was she happy playing with her dolls in her old childhood home?
Or when she dreamt of stories, while laying on her old bed?
But could she have been happy,
When she heard the monsters come?
Not the monster under her bed. She was friends with it already.
But not the monsters that surrounded that bed.
They all clawed at each other until everyone bled.
Their blood stained her pink carpet and shiny white walls.
She wasn't left out either. No.
They hurt her too. They scared her face with their long ****** nails.
Scars that she'll always have to hide.
They kept tearing each other apart, until all of them died.
All of them besides her. Only she survived.
She did. But her happiness didn't.
It left her forever, since that night.
It doesn't matter. She doesn't need it anyways.
What's the point of having a sun, if the night will always come back?
The clouds are a lot better. They hide everything. Even at night.
Lee Mar 17
In a world that spun too fast,
they whispered the rule—
first, secure your own mask,
but they never learned
how to fit it.
Their hands, frantic,
grasped at ours,
pulling us into their storm,
tightening the straps
until our breath was thin,
until the air was no longer ours.
They saw the clouds,
felt the pressure,
but never saw
how their own lungs were hollow,
how the wind was too cold
for them to breathe.
They never took their own mask,
only ours—
a lie wrapped in love,
strangling us all.
They thought they were saving us,
but their grip was too tight,
their hearts were too heavy,
filling our lungs with their panic.
In trying to protect,
they forgot:
if they couldn't breathe,
they couldn’t help us breathe.
And so, we wore the mask,
pressed too hard against our skin,
the seams never holding,
the air always too thin.
A cycle that turned on repeat,
love, pain, discipline,
each breath an echo
of something broken,
something never fixed.
They tried,
but never understood
that a mask only works
if you wear it first—
only when they breathe
can they save us.
But we stood there,
choking on the same air,
never having the chance
to claim it as our own.
I try to acknowledge the struggles we faced growing up, the traumas we survived, without excusing my parents role, i still credit them for doing what they thought was best in their individual circumstances. I am grateful for my parents, and if they had the resources to fix their masks who knows how different our lives could be
Evie Mar 17
He said he loved me
I guess that makes it okay that he ***** me
He said he loved me
I guess that makes it okay that he was years older than me
He said he loved me
I guess that makes it okay that he lied about his age to lure me to an alleyway
He said he loved me
I guess that makes it okay that I think about that nigh every night
He said he loved me
I guess that makes it okay that I will never be okay again
First poem on here!
kind hands Mar 17
the fear
that binds the wall
that hides the truth
is non logical
but rational

divides the self
and keeps me aloof

must be named
but not shamed
to make me whole

it serves a use
that has no use

fear is the function
of the wound
the causation of confusion
and its taken root
Aaron Beedle Mar 17
Justified demise of another set of longing eyes,
is it that I'm comprised of a cacophony of longing lies
telling me I'm no good,
that no one should love me, how could they?
A roughly carved shape of a soul and the hole left by selfish doubt
a window to a world of reasons reasoning why I should be left out.

The continual fear that love is a trap designed to erode the calloused halls of frozen walls that carry reassuring tones that the cold is consistent,
that warmth is insistent on melting our walls and making survival an emotional chore when we could just avoid it all. And yet despite the comforting embrace of psychological hypothermia, we want more.
About: Struggling to trust, having being hurt, being emotionally numb.
Aaron Beedle Mar 17
Nothing is not pain, and somehow not as simple as
being no more than nothing would explain.

Vaguely showing signs of love
Tamely cooking up
meals of modesty
bravely ******* up
priorities, honestly
I though for a time
those emotional commodities were none existent
Reminiscent of nothing.
I didn't know of loving
and my weekly rations of half arsed hugging
didn't feed an appetite for much more than
pokemon cards and chicken nuggets.

What child would grow in a void of the unknown
to love the people who left them
alone and longing
whilst furnishings and trinkets they bring in
as if to say that
a child is no more worth a thought than
the millionth handbag or lamp shade brought.
And to that child these things are nothing.
Nothing in love and nothing in family
and yet more worthy of attention and affection than them,
but that's fine.
Such consistent rejection had some effects on me
and I found my joy in toys and confectioneries.

To know the familiar face of nothing
and paint on that blank canvass a picture of something
easier to define for the lack of light
and in some morbid way, that may be my blessing;
A comprehensive and profound understanding of the things I'm missing.
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