Tonight,
Sleep is almost as elusive as you

Scream
Scream
Mouth so wide
The corners of my mouth
Begin to tear
Fingers tangled in my hair
pulling, no care
Hitting my head
off my tears it fed
i wish I was asleep instead.

one day the sun will get tired of the moon
the moon will get tired of the stars
the stars will get tired of the comets

one day the trees will get tired of the leaves
the leaves will get tired of the bugs
the bark will get tired of breathing

one day the ocean will get tired of waving
the fish will get tired of swimming
the boats will get tired of floating

one day the animals will get tired of roaming
the hunters will get tired of chasing
the grass will get tired of growing

one day the ears will get tired of hearing
the eyes will get tired of seeing
your fingers will get tired of feeling
your senses will get tired of sensing
but most of all, your heart will get tired of feeling

one day the days will get tired of smiling
the nights will get tired of frowning

inevitably the end of the world will come
however my world will only end when my smile fades, and my butterflies have flown away
and that will be my end
when my eyes no longer see you
my fingers no longer touch you
my ears no longer hear you
my heart no longer feels you
will be when my lungs no longer push for air
when my heart no longer beats its usual rhythm
that will be my end

As I lay here, the two of you beside me, I feel at peace. And though I can't sleep with all of the thoughts running through my brain, I feel as if I don't even need to. You both give me the strength to keep going. I know that fights happen. I know that things get tough, and money gets tight, and days get tiresome, but I also know that I will always have a place to call home. A place where I can finally rest my eyes and collapse mindlessly into a warm embrace that will mend all of the wounds I may have had. I have never felt such love for anyone until I met you, Adam. I never thought I could feel safe to let my heart run to someone again until you beckoned it your way. And I know this all sounds stupid and maybe it's because I'm sleep deprived, but I want you to know that you mean the world to me. I love you with my whole being and I truly hope you can see that.

Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck inside myself, only writing and feeling things about myself when the world is so big. But the eyes I have are mine, my brain and its synapses, my tongue and my lungs, my fingers and movements, these are also mine. Therefore, it's hard to see something other than what my eyes can see, or feel and wonder about things my mind can't reach. But even if I could, my lungs breathe for me and my mouth is a slave.
I can not escape myself, because I am human. And after everything, it means to be a prisoner.