it is suffocating
to be surrounded
by so much happiness
and not be able
to feel it

Sometimes,
I feel paralyzed
With the heartache I feel.
Sometimes,
My mind doesn't stop jumping
From conclusion to conclusion
On why my friend didn't text me back.
Sometimes,
I genuinely cannot comprehend
What I did, or do,
That compels everyone to run
When they see me.
Sometimes,
I hear that little voice in my head,
Telling me exactly why
They didn't want me in the group chat.

Sometimes,
I feel so suffocated with
The feeling that no one
Will ever want me.
Sometimes,
I feel like I'm drowning
In the sea of self- doubt
And self- loathing.

...

I am a child, but never a kid.
Under the shadows, always been hid.
I wish to live as a kid...
But they've always forbid.

Wounds and scars
A life behind bars
Tears and plea are for weak,
Mouth always been stiched.

Hands, feet, and neck are chained,
To the Honors, expectations I've gained.
With all the light that shined,
They've gone completely blind.

They need me to be the best...
But never hope me the best...
Always asking for answers,
But always left unheard.

Why can't I be free? Like them...
Why am I forbid to feel as much joy?Similar to them...
I was never rebellious...
But never treated...as precious.