Overly emotional
strangely proportional
partly suboptimal
highly improbable

Easily
devided
by truth and anger
and all that subsided

I'm trying
I'm hiding
Bad at denying
I need to feel
I need to scream
mostly defying
the urge to break
the urge to destroy
to disappear, to dissolve
I might be lying

To myself
to myself
My need for leaving or staying
is always unmet
with internal bleeding
my thoughts are paying
and these monsters
in my head
keep eating
Did I really put them there
myself?
Or did it happen back
when I was twelve?

I hear you
but your breath is so cold
I wanted to believe
in anything but you
But I think we got too old
and the house
my heart grew in
has long been sold

And when I'm drinking
you get angry
but what should I do?
My thoughts feel so scattered
and you can't pull me through

I'm trying
I'm fighting
Bad at denying
I need to feel
I need to dream
mostly defying
the urge to fake
the urge to decoy
to reappear, to resolve
I might be lying

to myself

Maybe it's just because I'm bleeding inside
Or it's because I'm no body and cannot be found
Or it's the bad luck that is always by my side
Or it's the wound that hurts and won't subside
Or it's the skies that never rain nor have a cloud
Or it's my green fields that I love but never find
Or maybe it's just who I am, a man with no pride

You describe me as a sunflower that was planted beneath a bee hive
I suppose you just are unaware of my aching need to hide
but my personality makes me seem closer to some kind of ****;
I am lazy and tend to hide,
I often wilt when hurt; I subside.
I try my best to not attract attention
Do you understand yet; what I'm venting?
When people get too close to me I tend to *****
if I feel the need. You might bleed; I stress so much-
stay away from me.. I just don't want anyone to be hurt.
Just try to understand that I'm not a flower and if I am I'm off
somewhere in the middle of no where, waiting to be picked.