settle down with me

in this quiet night
let's make-believe
this space is ours
cuddle me in--
under the blanket of stars
place your hand on my thighs
melt all of me with your eyes
hold me in your arms
i want to get lost in your horizon
and trace constellations
on your precious skin
with my trembling fingertips

settle down with me

in this cozy backseat
let's explore the vastness
of the galaxies within us
while our heartbeats
dance around each other's orbits
want me like the sun longs for the moon
search for my newest secrets
like the lonely planets
waiting to be discovered--
press your lips to my neck
collide your mouth against mine
come, love, leave me breathless

settle down with me*

in all the universe
we made our own
with every touch and every kiss
we find peace, we built home
let our souls fall
in love again--
fast and hard
like the stars
crashing down,
like an explosion of light,
making this moment
an infinite night.

i didn't know
who I was
and who
i wanted
to be

until you
came—

now all i
wanted
is to be
somebody
to you.

No, I am not perfect.
I am far from being flawless.
I have a lot of insecurities.
I'm a walking mess.

Don't get fooled with my fake confidence.
Deep inside me is full consciousness.

The bags under my eyes, my uneven skintone.
I am afraid to show it all.

People will talk behind me,
everyone hates ugly.

Don't get fooled with what you see outside,
I am not perfect, i hope you understand.

Can you fill the position as my outlet
as my spout
my bucket is filling up,
I am spilling over
can you wade through the knee deep water
is it my anger?
can you put up through the stupid
“how are you”'s
Sure,
you can stay
if you can be a pathway out of the dead end street
that leads me to your creek
if you can be the sun ray that blinds me,
so I’ll put the visor down
the first spark that starts the fire
the first poem out of too many
you’re the hole in the wall that’s inside my chest;
let me out

and now i realize,
i don’t want happiness 

anymore

i just want less loneliness

nothing more.

I didn't want to be your second option.
I didn't want to be someone you never noticed.
I never wanted to be left behind.

But i can still see myself
coming to you
even if i'm aware
you will not choose me
over her.

You come to me,
you only see
my existence
when you need
something.

And I hate myself
for hoping that,
you will need
something
from me.

Somethimes, I am afraid
that these voices
inside my head
will leave me in the end.

Because I am more afraid that
in that moment,
Loneliness will haunt me
all over again.

A sudden feeling of sadness,
voices and screams that are field with hatred.

Heart that beats so fast,
lungs that beg for air.

Hands are shaking,
feeling of wanting to vanish.

My thoughts wont leave,
these voices stay.

I don't know what to do,
I feel so blue.

Feeling of self-doubt,
where is the way out?

She is the sun but she doesn't know
She looks at herself into something low
but you can see, how much she glows
so bright, i hope she knows.