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Kelsey Feb 2019
What happened to the days
When I could be
Unapologetically me
Liquid confidence and *******
Not afraid
Of anybody’s judgements
Numbing the pain
But now I’m sober and
I’m stuck with just myself
Can’t break free from the discomfort
Of being trapped in my own skin
Insecurities and inhibition
Flowing through me like
A toxic injection
But I’m healthy and
My ****’s in line
Why can’t I give
Credit where it’s deserved
Instead I focus on the
Road that lies ahead
Rather than
How far I’ve trudged
Uncertainty trembles with
Every word
So ******* awkward
And everyone heard
Obsess about it for
Hours on end
As if this cycle of thought
Can somehow change
The way things happened
I tell myself
That nothing could be worse
Than being slave
To a substance
But something’s gotta change
Someone, somewhere
Teach me how to be sane
Or I’ll pick up that shovel
And start digging again
Cody Cooke Feb 2019
Bottles of alcohol squat on the counter, and cigarette butts
like yellow dead June bugs on the floor.
Bottles of shimmering reasons to not care about a hangover,
to leave prom early and rejoice in your parent’s absence.
Glistening necks, elegant glass nubs with no cap
tipped up into mouths screaming proud and hoarse,
We are STUPID! And CONTAGIOUS!
our ***** voices breaking under the radio sound
to a loud song whose generation no longer cares.
But we do, dumb boys and girls in a truck, rolling around town
like Haylee’s bottle of Jack Daniels in the trunk—
aimless, optimistic, and looking for reasons, so
buy a pack at the Chevron and let’s go smoke!
That’s enough, after all, isn’t it?
Reason enough to crack the windows, find a Carlyss backroad,
waste away midnight and half a tank of gas.
Still, as I drive on, a 90s rock station stimulating rotation of the spliff,
that smell puts my mind out of guitar solos and into placid hallways,
Smells Like a night in my dad’s apartment,
the stubbly couch with the nicotine blanket,
the Marlboro tone in the air, concrete crumbs and a lighter’s grating chrrt.
Divorce sounds like alcohol—
a word that burns, something sterilizing and for adults only.
But I don’t care, it’s my turn on the spliff,
and the backseat of my truck sounds more Alive
than the old horror movie rentals he would put on.
And why should I worry about what sobriety means
when we’ve been planning this night for months now?
All stocked up on Bacardi and Smirnoff Ice, Captain Morgan’s, Svedka, Mike’s Hard,
Swisher Sweets wrapped up in the **** bag—
We shoot our ***, soldiers eager to start the war,
that war against a domestic unknown enemy,
an enemy dangerous and subversive, like sober-minded aspirations.
And while Zack rolls the blunt, while Jack finds his Camel pack,
while you ask for a hit of Haylee’s cigarette,
I fill a glass with water, my intention to hydrate
exactly as genuine as my intention to forget about it.
I should have known you were a fraud
We should all hold our applause
Master at manipulation
I couldn't stay in that situation:

Head games, head trips
Insecure, ego slips
Black heart, anxiety dips
Mood swings, personality flips.

Doubt myself, no luck
Insecure, you're stuck
Bad intentions, "easy ****"
Mood swings, better duck.
I should have left you where I met you
Josh G Jan 2019
Gracefully sliding down your silver skin
It leaves a waste of blackness
That zig zags like a corn maze
A flame sets you into motion
Giving off your sought after euphoria
Our bond is one not saught after
Yet its a connection I yearned for
Nights spent on the bathroom floor
With desperation and a fiendish itch
You were there as my comfort
With tears in my eyes and a stain on my pride
We floated off into a temporary retreat
Wrote this looking back to a time in my life where I felt the full weight of the world on my shoulders. The weight became unbearable and I searched for every way out I could find. The door I opened was one of immense pain to myself and the ones I cared about. I'm proud of the man I've become now.
Allison Wonder Jan 2019
Sobriety.
Nobody said it would be fun.
Nobody said I couldn't run.

Run away from memories.
Dive into the bottle.
Drinking at full throttle.

Throttle pushed past her limits.
Jumping hills - watch me fly!
Faster now I'll reach the sky.

Sky dark and heavy.
Trapped away from sun.
Why have I yet to run?
Allison Wonder 2019

The back and forth battle of sobriety and why. I drank today hence the title.
The Dybbuk Jan 2019
It's hard to live without *******,
Tied to powder by a chain.
"Help," I say, but no one knows:
I'm bleeding lifeblood from my nose.

It's hard to live without some *****,
Liqueur up and start to cruise.
"I want to die." I flip a penny,
Rev the car and hit one-twenty.

It's hard to live without some shrooms,
I liked my life as a cartoon.
"I'm broken inside," I tell my friends,
They laugh along, the world bends.

It's hard to live without some ****,
It helps to balance out the speed,
"I'm in danger," no one cares,
Buried under thoughts and prayers.

It's hard to live with conscious mind,
I need poison, make me blind.
Roll me, smoke me, snort me up,
Pipe, spoon, ****, or cup.
It's two weeks sober tomorrow.
Ammar Jan 2019
At one point, reality was observed
With a revered gaze
Unfortunately, now
I would trade sobriety
For white lines.
All messed up in the head.
Ammar Dec 2018
Downing hard liquor is easier
Than swallowing the truth
Jul's Dec 2018
I have been through hell an back, for a very long time I was lost an confused by my drinking an drugging, for nights & days I would hide behind my drinking because I wanted to feel more pain,
I would sit an wonder where my life is gonna go an then I would cry tears of my pain an sorrow
Then I came sober an realized what I was doing to myself an other's
I have faced my demons an worked them out
All because I got sober
An now I can actually I can look in the mirror an see a beautiful woman who loves her self agin
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