If the opportunity arose
I’d jump at the chance.
I’d sell my soul to liquor
And consider it
A very good deal

I want to drink tonight
I want to forget
I want to lose myself
I want to relinquish control
I want to feel the giddy bliss
I want to relax
I just want a **** drink
Or several... or... ten...
But they won’t let me yet
I don’t get the privilege
Have to sit through the pain
While you all enjoy your vices
I don’t care if it destroys me
I can’t stand being sober

I don’t want this
I don’t want to be sober
I don’t want to be successful
I don’t want to be whatever you all wanted
I just... I just want to be happy...
But yes... I understand.
Happiness is not for me.

I sat there with drink in hand
wondering what I was doing with my life
how could I expect things to change
or to ever make this woman my wife?

Next day I walked into a room
full of people I did not know
but as soon as they told their stories
it was as if I started to glow

"Keep coming back," they said
and so that's exactly what I did
they help me one day at a time
as this addiction, I try to rid

9 months I've gone now
without having poured a drink
all the things they've taught me
it really makes you stop and think

So trust in this new beginning
and the direction I'm heading in
for in these rooms I've found myself
and developed brand new kin

I used to wake up each day
and head straight for the bottle
now I hit my knees and say
thank you for keeping me able

No more blackouts and
no more drunken fights
instead, I get to remember
each and every night

Thank you for my willingness
Thank you for setting me free
Thank you for giving me purpose
Thank you for my sobriety

It takes 9 months to make a baby
but in my 9 months, I've made something else
with all of the odds stacked against me
I've managed to make something of myself

I've made new friendships in place of
the ones I realize are no good for me
opened up my eyes for I was blind
but now there are many things to see

I've made strides towards healing
both my mind and my weary soul
a part of my every day now
I've taken on an entirely different roll

I've lost someone who was my everything
but still got through without a drink
it feels like just yesterday
looking back, time passes in a blink

I've dealt with stress so unimaginable
and spent time in a psychiatric ward
never once when I got out
a drink had I poured

I've been working my steps
I even pray to a Higher Power
although I'll admit that
in the beginning, I was sour

But that has changed as now
I have learned how to be willing
I never knew what feelings
these meetings could bring

Feelings of comfort and belonging
sometimes even happiness and joy
no longer do I need to use
the bottle as a decoy

To walk into a room of people
and know this is where I'm supposed to be
is the most magical feeling
it's so important to me

No bottle could ever convince me
to give that up for only a moment
of numbness and escape that doesn't last
no, the only route must be to confront

I gave up that life 9 months ago
looking back I am so glad I did
I'm healthier now than I was before
and I have a happier kid

9 months to make a baby
9 months of hard work
sobriety put into action
feels like fireworks

Was filled with power and rage
Could've conquered the whole world.
Instead simplified all the mistakes
to the journey of void.
Should've stayed sober,
to know who's watching me over
but used all my power and rage
to lock myself inside a cage.
Now I know, I've figured out.
I'm never getting myself back again!
Everything happens for a reason.
Sometimes I wish I just didn't knew.

I’d never been drunk before
But six drinks in
I’m certain
I don’t want to be sober
Cause sober...
Sober’s all those things...
Pain and grief and... sadness
Sober is depression
Everything is so good now
Don’t take this from me
I’m happy
Finally

Drinking *****
Breathing lies
Sniffing crack
Injecting likes
Blazing ***
Smoking hate
Eating coke
Believing fate
Tasting ****
Doing mine
Licking molly
Puffing crime
Vape opinions
Lines of cash
Feel the E
Camera’s flash
Popping oxy
Juiced on texts
Craving H
Hits of ***
Buzzed on pride
Shooting crank
Chewing shrooms
Dipping swank
Sweating spice
******* dust
Shots of self
****** on lust
Cutting white
Burning black
Craving dope
Snorting smack

Always high
And hungover
Never dreaming
Never sober.