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aye Mar 31
sometimes when i think of you
it is when i am kissing his lips
i envision the teeth that would clash clumsily,
how we’d laugh, and i would smell your breath of stale peppermint

sometimes when i think of you
it is when i’m alone in my room
my hands are now yours - large with long fingers
curious and wanting as they wander in the warmth between my thighs

sometimes when i think of you
it is when i cry myself to sleep
i scream into the pillow, that smells like your skin - the sun
and i think it is time i stop thinking about you.

then there are times when i think of us
we are rubbing noses under the stars
i tell you about my dreams that are little but you still listen,
and i think i have fallen in love.
- this isn’t about you.
(c) ayesha. h [2022]
aye Mar 29
i don't smoke
but sometimes i do put a cigarette between my lips.
it is not because i am my father's daughter,
it is because it reminds me of your kiss.
so warm,
so raw,
so very suffocating.
the taste of the i love yous
and the goodbyes
of a dying cancer patient.
(c) ayesha. h [2022]
aye Mar 25
i don't remember your face,
or the taste of your lips
on a hot summer's night,
your hands glued to my hips.
i don't remember your smell
of cheap men's cologne,
or the dark of the room
where you left me alone.
i don't remember a thing,
is what i wish i could say
but i still remember you,
and your dumb kissable face.
- don't mind me, i'm just ranting.
(c) ayesha. h [2022]
aye Mar 19
my heart is claustrophobic
my heart is scared of heights
she sleeps with the lights on
she gets overwhelmed by the night
with its judging moon and its boasting stars
the lurking shadows, the quiet dark
there is so much she fears
so so much that makes her convulse.
her worst fear, however, is the fear of falling in love.
- ayesha. h [2022]
aye Mar 15
he swore to me he was a man of god
a man of god who performed the ungodly
he had a rosary wrapped around his arm
pearl white beads strung around his protruding veins
the crucifix dangled between his thumb and index finger
the same thumb caressing my bud
the same index finger soon to pluck out the petals of my flower
i, starved, took a bite of the apple.

as we shared the fruit in a forbidden kiss
i thought to myself:
“did jesus die for this?”
(c) ayesha. h [2022]
aye Mar 15
how could you?
how could you
pry open my legs
then my heart
then all my
many other
disposable parts?
(c) ayesha. h [2022]
aye Oct 2021
we are hidden in the dark of the room
we are tucked in the warmth of the bed
your lips burn kisses through the skin of my back
my fingers scratch fondly at the scalp of your head.

you are lost in the deepest sleep
i am trapped in an aching wake
in your dreams, you whisper you will always love me
in your room, i whisper: "don't make that mistake."
i am sorry

(c) ayesha. h [two thousand and twenty-one]
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