Hideous
gruesomely frightening
I wear this mask,
the devil that I am

self absorbed
and inhumanly cold..

my angry howls do not falter
but you are there,
an image of innocence
upon your face..

the walls break and they crumble

due to the pressure..

of my untamed fists
and fiery depression,
whereas my tears
are the cause

for this disfigured flesh..

my shadows draw you near
my chains enslave you,
struggle as you might..

break apart thoroughly

until you are nothing more than a doll
with black voids for eyes..

kneel before me,
submit your entirety

however..

do not plead
for I will not remove my mask,
and accept a being
so utterly angelic as you are.

Could have been a masterpiece,
Could have been eye-opening,
a breath of fresh air.

Endless possiblities.

Could have been coloured and fiery,
Could have been subtle and graceful,
the result of years of perfection.

Endless possiblities.

Could have been all,
Like an empty canvas I was born as.
But I have been me.

The canvas is stained
tainted
spoiled

The canvas is stained forevermore.

The game stops being fun,
When you spend a night full-throttle,
And can't remember if your headache's,
from a needle or a bottle.
The game stops being cool,
When you throw up in your yard,
When you look inside your mirror,
And behind your eye's you're scarred.
The game stops being fine,
When you start to fear a hug,
Because you almost check their pockets,
For some money, for some drugs.
The game comes to an end,
When you realize what you are,
When you give in to your urges,
And you OD in your car.

i have
no qualms
with people who
love themselves

my pause after the
“i know”
that follows my compliment
is not distaste,

rather, i have spent
so long
hating myself that
i am used to self deprecation.

i have only just
come to grips
with learning to
love myself

self confidence in you
is beautiful
but also, for now,
startling

I feel Empty

whatever i see

there's nothing

there's a hate

and i dislike it

whatever it is

it's a humilation

and i cant get rid of it

because of bad things around me

and it was so imperfect

that i can't take it off

it sticked to my head like a glue

i have no ******* clue

what was about to happen

My Eyes have burned

like i'm in hell

Whatever i wish they die

In that Maggot-filled well

Hail to drugs
you comfort me when day becomes dark
You distract me when life is too hard
The moonshine I'm drinking
Is my answer to
What I perceive as the truth
That no one will ever love me
Because I hate the face I see in my looking glass
And big pharma hasnt made a pill yet
To boost the esteem of my self loathing ***.
Hail to the glass
As I drain you
I come to a better place
Where I'm smiling, laughing
And forgotten what brought me to this state
Was it the way she held my hand? Or was it when her lips touched mine?
Ah who cares, theres another pint!
Hail to the pipe!
A little green, a little light
And I'm taken away from my mind
On a bird, on a cloud, on a plane
Where I begin to question and forget it own lies
Maybe it isnt my ears
Or nose
Or the boils on my back.
Maybe walt is always right
That it's the timing
Or destiny
Or someone whos right.
Hail to the pills!
I swallow you in the morning and at night
You help me stay sane
And keep me out of
The sanitary(um)
You keep me level
You keep me grounded
And you keep me right as rain.
Now I'm down
To three drinks a week
My pipe is broken
And I gifted away my green
So now it's just my pills and I
To face reality.
And I am tired
Of trying to try
Time and time again
To find some
And have my hope
Be in vain.
Dear drugs
Dear love
Neither of you can make me happy
I just wish I knew how.

In the darkness, I see a small light
In the heart of the light is a mirror
I gazed in the mirror, something isn't right
What I saw is the reflection of all my errors.

My eyes are blank, made my tears less
My lips are dry and can never impress
And my hair is a total mess
Like how my life fell into a great mess.

I felt great grudge
I gave the glass a big punch,
I stared at my hand that bleeds
Felt extreme guilt for my past dids.

I'm so full of flaws,
I deserve to be under death's claws
I keep being judge by man's laws,
I have no right to face my foes.

I picked up a piece of a brocken glass
I saw a piece of my past
Slowly, the light vanished in the darkness
My hand fell down and losses my grip, emotionless.

I grant you to gently peek
Careful, for there demons creep
I wish you not to blindly seek
For I've gotten them to peacefully sleep

You may think you can handle
My mistake to reflect
For you'll never again be stable
Your qualities will deflect

I've been falsely honest
Inside lies Diablo himself
You have not yet earnest
your way to the shelf

Her hands perfectly followed my seams
and ripped it apart with my screams