I might not be the best person you'll ever know
or the prettiest you'll ever meet, but I'll set
your soul free when the world's
looking to keep you caged.
I know your dad will get drunk and spit
terrible things at you and you've locked yourself
inside your own mind and it's driving
you to drink but you don't want to end up like
him, so you deal with the pain by adding another
slash to the collection on your skin.
When you say you can't wait for me
because you miss intimacy and I'm an ocean away, know that I'll understand and keep you in my mind and hope I'll find you again when time
has given you a new perspective.
Love, when all you see is darkness, look to me
for a flicker and I'll light up your life like a flame, because from the moment you stepped
into my line of sight,
my life hasn't been the same.

Covering herself in layers figurative and literal,
She hides the scars that the past has inflicted on her.
She pulls down her sleeves and walls her heart within a steel cage,
No longer susceptible to pain.
Pushed to the brink,
Another soon to be statistic,
Her last hope gone,
She whispers to the world,
"Goodbye".

Should I be gone tomorrow if my being has run its course -
A mind confined to caged in skin and basking in remorse
Should self hatred and pity take its toll on empty hearts
I fear what ever fault I am is prepared to embark
On a journey through the pain and bliss I allowed to control
Every broken primal movement taken hostage by my soul
I won’t be missed, only dismissed as love that I might take
It burns through me to think it, but no worthy heart would break

“Second place…”
“Everyone feels.”
“Get out of your room.”
“…. Intensive therapy…”
“I’m a bad person.”
“I’m sorry.”
“How does it feel?”
“How did it feel?”
“I’m so sorry.”
“I love you.”
“You’re beautiful.”
“You’re not enough.”
“… People like that…”
“Is that why the world is so sharp you cut yourself on it?”
“What do you want?”
“You want me to be something I’m not.”
“I hate you.”
“Why won’t you let me hold you?”
“Are you up?”
“It hurts.”
“You can tell me anything.”
“I’m scared.”
“I don’t think I can help you.”
“Are you okay?”
“… Going through the tunnel…”
“You can listen to my records.”
“So that’s why it’s me who ends up the cause of everything that hurts you.”
“Can I help?”
“Fight back.”
“I’m busy.”
“Sure, honey.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m sorry.”
“… When I cut…”
“It’s not okay.”
“I care about you.”
“What did you mean?”
“I punched the wall in my bedroom.”
“Go take a walk.”
“I’m bleeding.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Has the counselor talked to your parents about a hospital yet?”
“Crazy people are beautiful.”
“Drop it.”
“Stop being so cryptic.”
“I don’t know how to love you either.”
“Why do you treat me this way?”
“What’s going on?”
“… Like I’m nothing…”
“It makes it feel worthless that I’m a kind person.”
“Then nothing’s going to change.”
“It’s okay.”
“You’re so annoying.”
“You’re so brilliant it hurts to think you might waste it.”
“You have to keep trying.”

You told me I was beautiful,
That you'd kiss every scar,
That you could read "die",
But it was very hard.

You told me I had worth,
I'm NOT a walking corpse,
You told me that I'm something,
But you're not a reliable source.

Maybe the pain on the outside is easier to deal with,
Because we know how to fix it.
Cold water for a burn and an ice pack for a bruise,
A bandage for a cut and kisses for little boo-boos,
Cough medicine for a cold and casts for broken bones.
Insides are harder though-
What's the cure for feeling alone?
Maybe I hurt my outsides because I know I can fix those.
But when it comes to all the awful things I feel inside, I've no clue.
And I can tell neither do you.
You think I'm mad because I make slits in my skin.
Well at least I know how to heal them.

Zoe hangs back,

My home-time mayhem
with half a head of hair,
pink neon flashing up her cherry studded arms.

My cufflinks snag and shake,
trying to make her see,
trying to make her see something.