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ash 3d
i've used pain to combat grief
perhaps i'll forever be a broken radio,
humming the same old tune
on the same old default settings.
no one to repair, not one soul to listen.
but i promise to play that random night
when u need the same old comforting,
the same old recurring.
Deona Spiteri May 11
Everything suddenly went quiet
So peaceful, so relaxing..
I can't hear a thing, except
the faint sound of my own footsteps,
even though I can't feel the ground.

Everything's moving, yet nothing makes a sound.
Lips changing form, yet no words are spoken aloud.
Running and screaming, still nothing.
I've seen all this before.

These are the best moments of my life.
Yet I can't bring myself to feel happy about it.
I can't feel happy or sad or all the emotions in between.
I try to reach out for these memories, but nothings what it seems.

This world was so enchanting, so peaceful that it felt like death.
So peaceful in fact, I couldn't even hear the screams and tears.
Couldn't hear anything more.
Couldn't move, couldn't see anything,
apart from that which has been seen.

The door closed. It felt like forever, when it was really just 7 seconds.
In those 7 seconds, I relive what was best.
7 seconds of true peace and happiness.
7 seconds of tears of fear.
7 seconds for my blood to turn yellow.
7 seconds for my eyes to lose their spark.
The eyes that once were bright, now hollow.
This poem was originally inspired by the fact that your brain replays it's best memories for 7 minutes before dying! :)
Ella Apr 4
I have been told by numerous individuals not to let this pain consume me.

But how do I do that, when grace is the biggest tragedy I've ever known?

The breath of life itself feels like an utmost betrayal,

like as though salt of the earth is mocking my sheer will to be.

I don't know how to exist outside myself,

Outside this body that has only witnessed departures of the ones who vowed to stay within, beside,...... always.

Outside this mind that is on par with the despair that has seemed to last longer than it promised to; begged to.

I have been told,
numerously,
not to dwell on what was,
/what could have been,
/what will never be,
/what should have been if only I hadn't resembled the person that I was on most days.

............I should have led him to false truths.

After all,
The houses built on lies, seem to harbor the strongest foundations,
the simplest facades.......

The idealistic framework of a hope that has sworn to stay.
4th April 2025 8:31am

©Ella_I
Payal Chapre Mar 24
डर है,  
हाँ है,  
डर तुझे खोने का,  
तेरा मेरे पास न होने का,  
तेरे लिए होकर भी न होने का,  
या फिर शायद तेरा किसी और का हो जाने का।  

कैसे भूलूं तेरे साथ बिताए हुए सारे पल,  
कैसे संभालूं खुद को जब तू नहीं होगा मेरे पास कल,  
अपना होकर भी अपना नहीं तू,  
बस इसी बात से खफ़ा हूँ।  

इतना भी क्या ज़रूरी है तेरा जाना?  
नहीं हूँ तेरे लायक, चल ये भी माना,  
पर क्या इतना आसान है तेरे लिए मुझे खोना,  
आसान है सब कुछ ख़त्म कर भूल जाना?  

ना जाने कैसा खेल खेल रही है ज़िंदगी,  
हर चीज़ पर रुला रही ये मुझे,  
सब कुछ सही हो जाएगा,  
बस एक बार कह दे,  
कि तू कहीं नहीं जाएगा!
कुछ जज़्बात शब्दों में उतर आए... ये दिल की बात है, शायद किसी और के दिल से भी मिल जाए! ❤️
Ya raaton ka kasoor thodi tha,
Chand bhi tanha tha mera jaisa,
Magar uska noor thodi tha.

Aankhon ne kehna bohot kuch tha,
Magar uska aana, uski baat banana,
Sirf ek khwab tha,
Pir jaagna bhi zaroori tha.
maxx Feb 18
i fear this may be
me at my best—
half-hearted smiles
held together by thread,
words that choke
before they leave.

if this is all
i have to give,
then what good
am i to anyone?

even my shadows
have grown bored
of following me.
is this all I ever will be? all I ever feel? i hope not.
Danilo Baeta Nov 2024
(crack)
Go ahead, babe;
hang in there.
Your heart's light hasn't faded;
it’s inside, crying for your love.

I won't lie to you;
surely you are like a rabbit.
That's what you smell like.
Deep down, it's your real name.

Although maybe you
have no idea about the reason
for your name.
So peaceful, but a bit of a funny one.

I call you "rabbit” —
Cos you're truly healing.
So, this time, I plead,
be a cure-all,
by
wipe away the tears.

**** your darlings;
they won't let you see the truth.
By all means, **** them,
as they echo within the walls
of your roomy soul.


Don't pick up a gun,
That would only be a tragedy.
Any blood shed for the sake
of despair is no good.
It's like a raw holocaust
with no divine smell.


Rather, you should use the soul's shield,
which is your only watchman;
Feel the right to be a daisy,
with an open heart for the unknown.
Deep down,
you've been crying for that.


Now my beloved bunny,
sip your medicine.
Drain off those raindrops from your eyes,
And never forsake you.

(sip-sip)
Nnenna Oct 2024
I'm freezing from the inside out

as cold seeps into every pore,

spreading its dark tendrils inform of creeping numbness

that suffocates my soul.

Everywhere feels like a suffocating chill

and it's wrapped around my heart.

Leaving my breath in a startled gasp,

The air around me thickens, refusing to fill my lungs,

And my chest tightens in a vice grip that won't relent.

Each heartbeat a drumbeat,

echoing fear and desperation.

My thoughts turns to fragment,

shattered like broken glass,

Showing reflections of a mind in chaos.

Memories linger, taunting me with happiness,

that's lost in the haze of anxiety's relentless grip.

Emptiness consumes me, and turns me to a hollow shell,

Soulless,

devoid of warmth or light or hope,

that echoes with every heartbeat,

A chasm between what was and what is.

Time becomes distorted, stretching each moment,

Minutes become hours, hours become eternity,

Then the world retreats, leaving only darkness,

and a neglected landscape, lacking comfort or solace.

In this hell, I search for a lifeline,

A thread to cling to, a beacon to guide me through,

A reassuring voice, a gentle touch,

Anything.

But every handhold slips away,

leaving me falling, as my body trembles like a fragile leaf,

Shaken by the winds of fear and uncertainty.

My mind screams in a silent cry,

Drowning in silence, and desperate for rescue,

I strain to recall calm moments,

Serene skies, peaceful nights, loving arms,

But they fade like mist in morning sun,

Leaving only the stark reality of this panic.

And the realization that I'm fighting for a breather,

to remember and to forget,

And if God's willing,

Then I won't slip away,

or get lost like these tears that slipped away.
Rae Sep 2024
my pockets are filled with ponderous stones
my knees are trembling,
under the weight on my own resignation.

demons with honed claws are drowning me underneath the surface,
with a conceited triumph.
my bones and flesh are nothing to them but an appetising prey,
a fruitful source of agony to cease their hunger
for broken and forgotten souls.


i pray and pray,
i keep praying
but nothing comes out.
the lividity of heart sends out disturbing signals that i am long gone:
only a shell of a once human mannequin
left behind.
N Jul 2024
twelve thirty-something in my sister's apartment
a moment of dancing and your lips met mine
tequila-stained breath and the sound of them talking
all disappeared at that moment in time.
Chocolate brown eyes and with a gaze I got lost in
What does this mean? Who is this guy?
your hands on my waist and the feeling of fire
all disappeared when you said goodbye.
Six months later you walk up my driveway
hands in your pockets, hair freshly done
lost in my sheets we spend half the day
How could this be? Is he the one?
One year later, we share the same bedroom
i sleep every night my head tucked in your arm
people's assumptions, is this happening too soon?
that feeling of fire is a slow constant warm.
You know all my secrets, we share the same hairbrush
we go and buy groceries, we laugh through the aisles
i know that I’ve said I’ve loved once before
but day after day you heal my inner child.
You hold my heart like it’s glass in your hands
Delicate and soft, precious as diamond
They always told me true love is worth waiting for,
but I never thought this was how I would find him.
I am yours in mind, and body, and soul
I’ll go through this life holding your hand in mine
and when our bones turn weary and old
when our breaths slow down and we know that it’s time
I’ll die smiling knowing I lived this life with you
we shared the best and the worst of our days
And when we depart I know I won’t miss you;
In every lifetime, I’ll love you this way.
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